At what age should a man be established?

[ThickHair]

ok so I was on my gf comp and this page was up......so I read some post and came accross this one. First off I must say f&(k each and everyone of you that said I am on a pipe dream. You never once asked what I (the bf) have done to this point to pursue my dream, all yall did was assume, we knows what happens when that happens.
First off let me give you a background on me, Im a United States Army Vet, I have a commercial drivers license CLASS A, and I am a certified broadband technition (So I can ALWAYS FIND A JOB). I worked in an entry level position for a fortune 500 utility company, and I was unionized so I had some seniority. It was an entry level position ($30k range) so I was not balling but on the way to it. I had my own house, car, and a job with advancment opportunity. I injured myself while I was at work on city property. I injured my back and tore my shoulder up pretty bad and needed surgury. I have not been able to work due to the advice of my lawyer and the ongoing lawsuits. Im not one to sit back and do nothing, so while i was in overwhelming amounts of pain I STARTED my production company (which was never supported by my gf). I had a 1000 sq ft studio that facilitated video and recording productions, that I opened with an associate. I put in all the work and paid all the bills to find my business partner cleans the studio out of ALL the equiptment with out telling me. I had to close up shop so I could repurchase all of my equiptment, tens of thousands of dollars worth. Which I did, and actually replaced it with better equiptment. While I was doing so I made sure my part of the rent and utilities were taken care of, AND I gave a decent amount of money, gifts, and trips. SO ITS NOT LIKE IM NOT TAKING CARE OF MY AFFAIRS. I just ended up here due to injury and a twist of fate. As far as me being 30 and not as close to my end goal as i want, In my early 20's my mother went through a horrible divorce, my brothers did not step up and left me to take care of my mom financially for a number of years until she was able to get on her feet.
My goals are to have a chain of production companies that help artist bridge the gap to the industry. I do great work and take pride in it so I know my success is around the corner.
You know its so sad to see a lot of BLACK Women not put the faith in there BLACK man. This is probably why there are a lot of single BLACK women (over half). A strong black man wants a woman to believe in him no matter what. If a jewish man says he wants to fly to the moon using bird feathers his wife will help him pluck the bird no questions, same for hindu, chinese, and every other ethnicity with low divorce rates.......hmmmm I wonder why they have the low divorce rate and high marriage rates. The fact that I am going against the grain to be a black LEGAL business owner deserves merritt in itself, but it is sooooooo troubling to me that my OWN people give me the hardest time. We as people need to stop this crab in a bucket mantality.
One quick story before im done......I heard this story from Hill Harper, and A lot of black women should take NOTES......

There was a black woman in Chicago who worked for a very successful law firm. She was one of the best black lawyers in the Chicago land area. She quickly rose through the ranks of her law firm to become partner. After her promotion she met a man who was still in school and strugling.
She decided to take a chance on this man and BELIEVE in HIM & his dreams and SUPPORT him on the journey of his dreams. She left her JOB at the firm to support her husband. It wasnt easy and she didnt think they were going to make it, but she hung in there to become the FIRST black FIRST LADY, and yes her husband is President Barack Obama. So with that being said YES I CAN.......AND YES I WILL.......BE AN ELITE BLACK BUSINESS PROFFESIONAL.!!!!!
And to my haters Kiss My a$$ and watch me make it to the TOP!!!!!!

Dude you are barking up the wrong tree, talk to ya girl.

 

[CarmelCupcake]

Dude you are barking up the wrong tree, talk to ya girl.

Trust me, he already did. And it wasn't good.

 

[chicitygirl]

Trust me, he already did. And it wasn't good.

Tell his lying arse to KICK ROCKS! I can't believe he invaded your privacy, came on here going off on us about how he's such a great catch and pretty much lied about having the studio now (sidenote:whether he has it now or not is a moot point if it wasn't making any damn money. It ain't a business unless he's getting paid) and then had the nerve to be mad at you! Dude is crazy. When you asked him for his plan, he got an attitude. Why is he so darn defensive if he's so confident and can get a job doing whatever it is he claims certified to do? Why is he so bitter and claiming black women are the only ones out there requiring that men have a real job?!? You deserve better!

 

[TayMac]

He has some nerve posting under your account. That is a punk move and very rude.

 

[snillohsss]

oh snap! SO that rant was the boyfriend????? I half read that and thought it was the OP, but I was so confused.

He showed his cards with that rant right there. Ain't no grown man that is about his business gonna come online with a bunch of women and plead his case regarding his future. No sir! That was a true b!tchmade move. He wrote that to convince himself. He shouldn't care what we think, and he is invading your privacy. So many red flags here.

He sounds like he can talk a lot of game, but lacks the skills to bring it to fruition. Trust, a man that is really on his grind would never come online to cuss out a bunch of women in an online forum, then call us haters? Word?

I would really dump him too, and I am not one to tell chicks to leave their man willy nilly. Sorry OP.

 

[Petiteness]

Well he doesn't have it currently. My concern is that when i ask him what his plan is, he gets upset.

Your guy just clearly told LHCF what is plans are.

My goals are to have a chain of production companies that help artist bridge the gap to the industry

The problem isnt that your BF doest have any goals, it seems that his plans/goals are just not good enough for you ?

Nothing wrong with wanting better for yourself.

 

[Imani]

oh snap! SO that rant was the boyfriend????? I half read that and thought it was the OP, but I was so confused.

He showed his cards with that rant right there. Ain't no grown man that is about his business gonna come online with a bunch of women and plead his case regarding his future. No sir! That was a true b!tchmade move. He wrote that to convince himself. He shouldn't care what we think, and he is invading your privacy. So many red flags here.

He sounds like he can talk a lot of game, but lacks the skills to bring it to fruition. Trust, a man that is really on his grind would never come online to cuss out a bunch of women in an online forum, then call us haters? Word?

I would really dump him too, and I am not one to tell chicks to leave their man willy nilly. Sorry OP.

I concur w/the bolded, althought I wouldve said it a little nicer

 

[ThickHair]

Trust me, he already did. And it wasn't good.

So what happened? What did you tell him? Is he still your man? Just being nosey.

 

[greight]

Damn, this thread was interesting to read. I cringed at the BF.

But I grew up with a father that had a lot of pipe dreams and drained the family's finances trying to pursue them.

I don't just think that I'm looking out for me.... I'm looking out for my future family. I know the stress, the drama. Can't get with it.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

He says that black women are always after a man's money. That is so not fair. I know many women, regardless of race, who are gold diggers. It's really a slap in the face to be told by your own boyfriend that black women are money hungry and that black women are this and that when you are a black woman yourelf.

Of course, because black women want men who can be providers, then they're gold diggers. That's what a man is supposed to do.

 

[Bun Mistress]

Not to quote Steve Harvey and every other good man I have met in my life (my Dad included!) but if a man loves you he should want to take care of you. That doesn't make you a goal digger, it makes him a provider. His actions just show that he is not ready for a real comitment.

I was going to let this thread lye but now I JUST CAN'T DO IT.

My sister married a guy (that seems very much so like the OP BF), a guy full of dreams who can prattle on about what he has "done". Blah Blah Blah. My sis is doing well, I mean really well for herself and her hubby is a dreamer. Period. He talks about political campaigns he works on 10 years ago and about he he wants to do, no plans. I've been lusten to this guys talk for 4 years now. He hasn't done a thing. He too has "odd jobs". She is miserable and has been throwning around the D word for a year which leave her finicial desolute.

What worse is he "has potenial". But at now 35, nothing. And I'm sorry it will continue to be nothing. Real men and women may talk but more than talk they DO.

And I'm sorry, I've been on LHCF for years and any BF of mine has not been all on my account posting under my name. And real man that has a problem and goes to the sorce. And instead of "putting us on blast" he should have looked at his woman's concerns and addressed them. At is the only way to solve the whole dayum thing.

Real men solve problems.
Real men provide.
Real men don't put down women (BW, exs' their momma, if they insult any one RUN).

This guy, is a boy, B - O - Y. I'm sorry to insult. But I say so having put up with a BOY of similar for three and a half years (in my LATE 20s) who I almost let ruin my life who was the same as the OP's BF. I only say this so that you can learn from me and my sis. Second thoughts are their for a reason.

 

[ThickHair]

^^^^ Plus I doubt that a real man would go into so much detail, he would show and prove and just give the hand wave to the ladies. After reading the response again I am seriously giving it the side eye. Something taint right. Men are not that chatty, that is something that a woman would write.

 

[Mortons]

Seriously, once I heard "music industry" I would break into a sprint.

 

[qchelle]

I haven't read the whole thread yet, but someone who wants to "record peoples music videos" for a living just wouldn't do it for me anyway. Even if he does eventually make it and is a gazillionaire. That lifestyle doesn't appeal to me at all, and I want no part of any of it. Everything from him seeing half naked women for a living, recording them, to hanging out with other men to have shallow morals, everything that that career glorifies is not worth any price to me. Even if he 'made it' tomorrow...whatever. Millionaire or not...just no thank you.

ETA: wow @ your bf. So he's the insulting-BW-type, huh? Yeaaaa, that would DEF be a no go for me.

But goodluck on whatever you decide

 

[asakeba]

All that you've said aside OP, how you gonna let a bunch of random women clown your man? that's really not a good look no matter what your troubles are. and to the inevitable responses.. PEACE!