Would you date a man with children?

I would prefer without, but would not eliminate someone who does. As long as no baby mama drama. My SO has two children that live out of state, and although the ex and I don't have a relationship with one another, we do work with each other for the children. I have to say our predicament is awesome to me.
 
MzLady78 said:
Only the last 3? Consider yourself lucky. :look:

And umm.....I might be crossing over to the "no" side.
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No girlfriend, Im not..Ive been on a bit of a drought..it just so happens that Ive met only 5 men in the past 2.5mths..Im trying really hard to be more approachable, changing my dating scenes and just no takers...The only men who managed to approach me, 3 outta 5 had kids..Ive been very disappointed with my dating pool..

Im back to online dating and what tickles me is when I do my criteria for searching, the number of men who dont have kids, around my age range (25-32) are around 100.. now when I dont make any, the number of "eligible" men quadruaples.
 
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@Love Always

I just play it cool when I initally find out, but in the back of my head Im mentally drawing a line through his name...Its really a almost second nature..
Im trying though, I look at people who are happily married with step children and I know it can be done, I just dont know if its for me..If he has a child, everything else has to be rock solid: own place to stay, dependable transportation, stable work history, etc...Then and only then will I entertain the thought..Right now, Im just keeping the men I met at arms length..chat with them every once and a while, maybe go out if Im bored..
 
Um, to date, I haven't had to and I really don't plan on it.

It's not a TOTAL dealbreaker, but his qualities and the circumstances would almost have to be optimal, and how often does that come along? AND only ONE child. I refuse more than that!

So, I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing...don't know what that is though, LOL
 
Been there, done that, paid that debt to society. I know it's hard out here...but I would strongly urge a woman against it, especially if she doesn't have any children.
 
I'm 38 with no kids and I prefer to date men without any as well.. However I have dated a gentleman who had a little girl, but ONE child is my limit.
 
my ex/current has two kids. when we met he had one. i got married to another guy and while i was married he had another one and got married. we are both divorced and his kids live in 2 different states and none of them the same state he is in. if i would have gotten with him 5 yrs ago, he would only have one.
 
NOEChic said:
my ex/current has two kids. when we met he had one. i got married to another guy and while i was married he had another one and got married. we are both divorced and his kids live in 2 different states and none of them the same state he is in. if i would have gotten with him 5 yrs ago, he would only have one.
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im laughing at the bolded. Aww, well hopefully he/she is a good little child!
 
AMEN, to that! Its just not for me.

PopLife said:
Been there, done that, paid that debt to society. I know it's hard out here...but I would strongly urge a woman against it, especially if she doesn't have any children.
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At the end of the day YOUR HAPPINESS must come 1st! Bottom, people don't do no more than YOU ALLOW them to!

petiteNunique said:
i know some of you think im crazy....sometimes i know what i need to do....its just that i don't know how to go about doing it. i guess im scared that if i leave him i may regret it later. have any of you ever left someone who treated u right and found another man who was even better?
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MizAvalon said:
Agree with this entire post. People who have spent their 20's in school and building their careers are more likely not to have kids yet in their 30's. The good for nothings who ran the streets and have nothing going for themselves have several kids.

People run with those they have the most in common with. That's why I always laugh when "those" types tell me that I won't find a man in his 30's without kids. There are plenty of them and most of them are looking for their counterpart, a woman without kids.
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I agree, I'm 25 and just completed my Masters Degree I didn't have time for dating because I've been too busy working on my degrees. As u stated, there r men out there who r educated with no kids and r looking for the same in a women. Bottom line, I will not be unequally yoked. I know its not God's best for me and he says he will give me the desires of MY HEART! Therefore I will not SETTLE for anything in life!

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I wouldn't.

My friend right now is dating a guy with five kids by five different women. He had his first child at 16 and didn't stop. he was in the military got kicked out cuz he went to jail, and now is working at a restaurant not making not much money and the majority of his paycheck goes to only ONE of the babymommas (and ironically it's the baby momma that ducks out or hides whenever he comes to his hometown.) At first she was alright with it because the baby mommas lived in a different state and one of them wants nothing to do with him. But now that she's about to go to his family's family reunion she's upset because she knows that three of the mommas will be there with the children. I told her regardless, the babymoms will always be in his life and she said, "Yeah I understand that, but do they have to come to the reunion, too?" My friend is the jealous type and she has trust issues. She called me asking for advice, but I couldn't really give her none. I've never dated a man with children. I then told her why and how can you do it [date a man with children]. It's just too much.
 
RachelRegina said:
I wouldn't.

My friend right now is dating a guy with five kids by five different women. He had his first child at 16 and didn't stop. he was in the military got kicked out cuz he went to jail, and now is working at a restaurant not making not much money and the majority of his paycheck goes to only ONE of the babymommas (and ironically it's the baby momma that ducks out or hides whenever he comes to his hometown.) At first she was alright with it because the baby mommas lived in a different state and one of them wants nothing to do with him. But now that she's about to go to his family's family reunion she's upset because she knows that three of the mommas will be there with the children. I told her regardless, the babymoms will always be in his life and she said, "Yeah I understand that, but do they have to come to the reunion, too?" My friend is the jealous type and she has trust issues. She called me asking for advice, but I couldn't really give her none. I've never dated a man with children. I then told her why and how can you do it [date a man with children]. It's just too much.
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This is a hot a** mess right here. All of it.

I can't even believe she's wondering why the BM's will be at the reunion. HELLO, that's their kids' family, are you really surprised? SMDH.
 
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MzLady78 said:
This is a hot a** mess right here. All of it.

I can't even believe she's wondering why the BM's will be at the reunion. HELLO, that's their kids' family, are you really surprised? SMDH.
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MzLady78. I so agree with you. :yep:You really need to kick some knowledge to a lot of folks. Ever thought about writing a book? :lol: I'd purchase a copy for me and one for several of my friends.:yep:

@ the bold...I've told her this, but it's like talking to a brick. The worse part is that she got preggo by him (but sadly she lost the child) and she swore while she was preggo that he was gonna marry her.

I kept my mouth shut. She comes to me for advice but I can't give it to her because I've never been in that situation. She'll learn though. She'll learn.
 
RachelRegina said:
@MzLady78. I so agree with you. :yep:You really need to kick some knowledge to a lot of folks. Ever thought about writing a book? :lol: I'd purchase a copy for me and one for several of my friends.:yep:

@ the bold...I've told her this, but it's like talking to a brick. The worse part is that she got preggo by him (but sadly she lost the child) and she swore while she was preggo that he was gonna marry her.

I kept my mouth shut. She comes to me for advice but I can't give it to her because I've never been in that situation. She'll learn though. She'll learn.
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Oooh, girl...I am far from qualified to write a relationship book, but thanks.:lol: I've just seen and experienced a lot. A little too much, to be honest, but I digress. :look:

I don't think this is a situation that requires any experience to be able to offer sound advice on, it really is common sense. The problem is your friend just lacks it (sorry). I wouldn't even waste any more of my breath trying to talk sense into her.

Mos Def said "the hardheaded always gotta feel it to believe it".
 
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