petiteNunique
New Member
lol, Pretty Brown Eyes
Would you date a man with children?
- Thread starter petiteNunique
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chicitygirl
Well-Known Member
Nope, I have no desire to help raise someone else's children. And even if he doesn't have custody, you still end up supporting the kids financially and dealing with them through visitation and everything. No thanks to all of that!
MsBoinglicious
Well-Known Member
Nope! Why you ask beacuse...
#1. I don't like kids!
#2. I really don't like kids!
#3. I really don't like smart sassy mouthed kids!
Also the "drama" with his kid(s) mother(s). I don't have time for that.
#1. I don't like kids!
#2. I really don't like kids!
#3. I really don't like smart sassy mouthed kids!
Also the "drama" with his kid(s) mother(s). I don't have time for that.
WhipEffectz1
Well-Known Member
you guys im just so torn....i've been dating this guy for two years and he finds out he has a young daughter. Before I got with him, he told me that he would go back to school and he didn't, I found out that he smoked weed all the time, and then i find out he has a child, but he treats me so well. But its like everyday, I just get the feeling that i don't know if i can do this anymore. it just hurts knowing that this child is by a another woman, and a random one at that. it just hurts. I am so torn. it's even worse because he lives with me. I just don't know what to do.
Say shorty, go sit down somewhere. People gave you all kind of advice on what to do in your thread. I don't know what's wrong with you. God bless you though.....
Now I see how men be getting over on women.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Ok, you're laughing but can we get an answer?
I hope you're not posting about this same dude when you've already been given much more serious reasons to leave his *** alone than him having a kid.
erplexed
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Seriously, I'm like are we being punked?
And you KNOW I don't usually make comments like that in this forum.
WhipEffectz1
Well-Known Member
lmao!!! I think we are being punked like someone mentioned earlier in that thread. ONly people who have mental instabilities do stuff like that.
Hope it all works out for her though.
FlowerHair
Reclaiming my time
you guys im just so torn....i've been dating this guy for two years and he finds out he has a young daughter. Before I got with him, he told me that he would go back to school and he didn't, I found out that he smoked weed all the time, and then i find out he has a child, but he treats me so well. But its like everyday, I just get the feeling that i don't know if i can do this anymore. it just hurts knowing that this child is by a another woman, and a random one at that. it just hurts. I am so torn. it's even worse because he lives with me. I just don't know what to do.
Is this a joke...?
What are you torn about??
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Why wouldn't she be torn? A guy who'd rather smoke weed all day than go back to school, has a kid she doesn't wanna deal with- oh and hates Black women is such a catch!
Hell, I'd be torn, too!
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
This is true. The majority of guys I've dealt with have had kids and I don't recall any of them really having any kind of drama. Shoot, one of the guys I know actually picks his son's half sister up from school along with their son everyday! While my preference is always going to be none, I don't automatically rule out guys with kids, I judge the situation on an individual basis.
Like I stated in another thread, the problem I seem to have when it comes to dating men with kids is they usually don't want anymore. I don't have any yet and I do want them.
Makenzie
Well-Known Member
His kid should be the least of your worries.
LunadeMiel
Well-Known Member
No, I would not date a man with a child.
WhipEffectz1
Well-Known Member
ThatJerseyGirl
Well-Known Member
you guys im just so torn....i've been dating this guy for two years and he finds out he has a young daughter. Before I got with him, he told me that he would go back to school and he didn't, I found out that he smoked weed all the time, and then i find out he has a child, but he treats me so well. But its like everyday, I just get the feeling that i don't know if i can do this anymore. it just hurts knowing that this child is by a another woman, and a random one at that. it just hurts. I am so torn. it's even worse because he lives with me. I just don't know what to do.
*lights up a newport one hunnit for dis hea bu'shyt*
dayum, he must be slangin some good azzzz dangdang chile....
now lemme get dis hea straight.... u been datin him for like 2 years, and accordin to him, he JUST finds out he gotta lil girl (he knew and so did u, stop playin), u just found out dat he smokes weed (you knew, and u smokin it too), and on top of it all, he lives wif u?
yall actin like these chirren just popped up outta no where. u knew he was out der when u met him, which is prolly how u got him, which is why u havin these problems. i don't know....
chile puleez. if u feel like breast feedin all dem dayum chirren, den knock urself out.
otherwise, imma need u to dummy up and stop puttin so much emphasis on dis guy. just cuz he layin down da pipe right don't mean he's treatin u right. i bet he got u payin for everything.....taking care of everything. u got da game wrong shuga.
at the end of the day, when u look in the mirror, who do u love the most. You or him? only u can make that choice. if you choose you, then put a stop to da ghettofied madness n get rid of him. don'tchu think ur worth more than this. he ain't worth living rent free in ur mind, heart and in ur house. a man is only gonna do what u allow him. you shouldn't even be questioning what u should do. go back n read whatchu wrote chile.
u ain't tellin da whole story. i gotta feelin imma need some henny and anotha newport cuz like someone said on dis hea board one time..."smells like sumfin ghetto is cookin on da stove".....
petiteNunique
New Member
i know some of you think im crazy....sometimes i know what i need to do....its just that i don't know how to go about doing it. i guess im scared that if i leave him i may regret it later. have any of you ever left someone who treated u right and found another man who was even better?
FlowerHair
Reclaiming my time
Makenzie
Well-Known Member
How is he treating you right? In the other thread you a made he thinks all black women are gold-diggers and talks badly about them. And when you tell him how that makes you feel he gets upset with you, then stops talking to you.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
DItto.
Please tell us what this fool a** man could possibly be doing so good that you're willing to put up with all the nonsense you posted about in that other thread.
Makenzie
Well-Known Member
The other thread that keeps being mentioned.
OP, I think you should go back and read it and remember the hurt feelings you had because of his treatment.
If that is being treated good......
Or if you feel that he treats you 'good' so you should be able to deal with his issues, that's not right either.
OP, I think you should go back and read it and remember the hurt feelings you had because of his treatment.
If that is being treated good......
Or if you feel that he treats you 'good' so you should be able to deal with his issues, that's not right either.
HollyGolightly
Well-Known Member
YES! My relationship luck has steadily improved because each boyfriend that I've had raised my expectations for the next.
From the sounds of it he's not treating you that well. You should let this loser go so that you can upgrade to a better boyfriend. There's a whole planet full of men out there who can potentially replace him. You'll never get what you deserve if you keep settling.
Britt
Well-Known Member
I will say that I do envy you ladies that can find men with no kids, though, because it is IMPOSSIBLE where I am.
I wonder this too...I'm pressed to come across a black 30+ dude w/o a child here. Where do you all find them? At professional events? Just want to know where they are are. I know a few that my friends have dated that don't have any, but that's less than 5 dudes and they are all late 20s. Oh! I do know of one that is 40, educated, professional but he's a freakin train wreck. But even he's a rarity to not have kids. Heck, he might have one now. I know last year he didn't and he was about 38 then. My ex SO, alllll of his friends (except 1) has kids, including himself. Is it a SES thing? Like only Black men in corporate America, or doctors, engineers, etc don't have children?
natural in ATL
15+ years natural
I would meet them at Black MBA events, sports bars/grills during basketball playoff season, at whole foods, at the gym and sometimes through a mutual friend. So for instance, my friends and I knew a guy who always had bbqs with a lot of his frat brothers - they were almost all in their 30s, professional and had no kids.
vainღ♥♡jane
ღ♥♡honey chile♡♥ღ
so what?! do you really want to spend the rest of your life feeling like crap everytime he degrades black women? (which includes you too, whether you believe it or not). so instead of dumping this loser, you're gonna stay, ensuring that you DON'T meet anyone that will treat you better.
run from this guy! you don't want him teaching your black daughter that she is beneath other women, or your black son that black women aren't *ish. not to mention that you will have to compete with his white baby mama. lawd. can you imagine needing something and asking him for it, only for him to look and talk to you crazy as if you're some golddigger. when she can turn around and get what she needs without a problem? couldn't be me. ♥
Keshieshimmer
Active Member
This is me.
VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
I come across them alot( black men with no kids 30+). The biggest issue I never want them or am interested in them because they have their own set of issues( have no formal education, country, poor etiquette, unattractive, broke etc......) The only man that I have ever come across that did not fit that mold was my ex. No kids,Ivy leauge school with two grad degrees, hard worker, handsome, clean cut, financially stable etc...) If he wasn't such a butt head in other areas I would have stayed with him.
That is my dilemma know. I am interested in dating a guy like my ex but not my ex if you understand what I mean. Me trying to find that type of guy now is like looking in a haystack literally. That man spoiled me in a bad way because I am finding most men I meet just don't meet that bar.
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