Would you date a man with children?

I have dated men with kids, several of them. I hit lotto with my husband (he has a child) and I would not have it any other way.
 
Brittster said:
I wonder this too...I'm pressed to come across a black 30+ dude w/o a child here. Where do you all find them? At professional events? Just want to know where they are are. I know a few that my friends have dated that don't have any, but that's less than 5 dudes and they are all late 20s. Oh! I do know of one that is 40, educated, professional but he's a freakin train wreck. But even he's a rarity to not have kids. Heck, he might have one now. I know last year he didn't and he was about 38 then. My ex SO, alllll of his friends (except 1) has kids, including himself. Is it a SES thing? Like only Black men in corporate America, or doctors, engineers, etc don't have children?
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Yep, the few I know that don't have any aren't relationship material by any means.
 
VelvetRain said:
I come across them alot( black men with no kids 30+). The biggest issue I never want them or am interested in them because they have their own set of issues( have no formal education, country, poor etiquette, unattractive, broke etc......) The only man that I have ever come across that did not fit that mold was my ex. No kids,Ivy leauge school with two grad degrees, hard worker, handsome, clean cut, financially stable etc...) If he wasn't such a butt head in other areas I would have stayed with him.

That is my dilemma know. I am interested in dating a guy like my ex but not my ex if you understand what I mean. Me trying to find that type of guy now is like looking in a haystack literally. That man spoiled me in a bad way because I am finding most men I meet just don't meet that bar.
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When you were here in MA, did you find it hard to find a men with no kids?

I'm just trying to figure out if it's the circles I run in or what, because I seriously can't a well adjusted, dateable man with no kids. And I think my age range makes it even harder-35 to early 40s.
 
Brittster said:
I wonder this too...I'm pressed to come across a black 30+ dude w/o a child here. Where do you all find them? At professional events? Just want to know where they are are. I know a few that my friends have dated that don't have any, but that's less than 5 dudes and they are all late 20s. Oh! I do know of one that is 40, educated, professional but he's a freakin train wreck. But even he's a rarity to not have kids. Heck, he might have one now. I know last year he didn't and he was about 38 then. My ex SO, alllll of his friends (except 1) has kids, including himself. Is it a SES thing? Like only Black men in corporate America, or doctors, engineers, etc don't have children?
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really! most of my friends are pushing 30 and they don't have kids. male friends i mean. I can honestly say i don't remember the last guy i met with a kid. Maybe like 7 years ago. seriously. But the male friends i speak of are all corporate. And their friends are too without kids.
 
I always dated guys with no Kids. DH was the first guy I dated with children and we got married.

I would tell the single ladies to make sure you analyze the relationship this man has with his kids and his ex. If it's not good then you should walk. If I could go back in time I would probably be single now or with a man with no kids.


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poochie167 said:
really! most of my friends are pushing 30 and they don't have kids. male friends i mean. I can honestly say i don't remember the last guy i met with a kid. Maybe like 7 years ago. seriously. But the male friends i speak of are all corporate. And their friends are too without kids.
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This is so interesting to me, but I guess it makes sense.

I'm thinking that a corporate guy might be so focused on advancing his career that he's not thinking about having a bunch of crumb snatchers running around.

I've never dated a guy that worked in corporate America (and I myself am very new to it), I've always dated blue collar guys.

Definitely something to think about. :yep:
 
MzLady78 said:
This is so interesting to me, but I guess it makes sense.

I'm thinking that a corporate guy might be so focused on advancing his career that he's not thinking about having a bunch of crumb snatchers running around.

I've never dated a guy that worked in corporate America (and I myself am very new to it), I've always dated blue collar guys.

Definitely something to think about. :yep:
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yes to the bolded. But that's not set in stone...cuz a corp. guy can have accidents too. And some have. But as i sit here and think...i honestly have not met a guy with a kid in a really long time. (age group 25-34) I think social circles matter a lot. The guys i know run with guys just like them with similar aspirations. Again not set it stone! i can probably lose fingers counting how many black men in that same age group i know WITHOUT kids.

now if we wanna talk about the guys from my old neighborhood before i moved up in life. the guys who had no aspirations....then i can lose count as to how many of them have kids. It is interesting when u take a step back and see the difference
 
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poochie167 said:
yes to the bolded. But that's not set in stone...cuz a corp. guy can have accidents too. And some have. But as i sit here and think...i honestly have not met a guy with a kid in a really long time. (age group 25-34) I think social circles matter a lot. The guys i know run with guys just like them with similar aspirations. Again not set it stone! i can probably lose fingers counting how many black men in that same age group i know WITHOUT kids.

now if we wanna talk about the guys from my old neighborhood before i moved up in life. the guys who had no aspirations....then i can lose count as to how many of them have kids. It is interesting when u take a step back and see the difference
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Oh absolutely! I was just thinking out loud because I was really surprised by your post, LOL. But I see that the age group you're referring to is also younger than mine so again, maybe that also plays a role.
 
I always said I wouldn't seriously date a man with kids.

Let's just say that God had other plans. I have an 11 year old stepson that lives full time with my husband and I. I believe everyone has their own idea of what they will and will not be comfortable with in a relationship. But sometimes people alienate a whole group of potentially great partners. NOT always but sometimes. :D

In your case OP, step ya cookies up and wait for a real man. If you aren't getting what you need from you're current DUDE, then don't settle. JMHO
 
poochie167 said:
really! most of my friends are pushing 30 and they don't have kids. male friends i mean. I can honestly say i don't remember the last guy i met with a kid. Maybe like 7 years ago. seriously. But the male friends i speak of are all corporate. And their friends are too without kids.
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Real talk ... PM me if need be..
Where are they? Where can I meet them? I know you're in NYC :grin:
 
i can't see myself in my 20's dating someone with children. i'm still in school, and will be for a while, and the type of guy i'm interested is in undergrad/graduate school right now getting his learn on and not procreating. maybe if i was older and they were financially stable, had one child that they provided for, and there was no drama with the child's mother, i would consider it. but i would really have to see potential in our relationship for that to happen.

2 things i dont condone though:

*multiple baby mothers* (knock one up, and you might get a get out of jail free card, but more than one? and they're both still baby mama's, none have ever been your wife? you need to exercise better penile responsibility, sir.)

*irresponsible fathers. if you have a child/children that you dont take care of, you're priority should be providing and being there for them, not dating me (or anyone outside of the child's mother for that matter)
 
WhipEffectz1 said:
Say shorty, go sit down somewhere. People gave you all kind of advice on what to do in your thread. I don't know what's wrong with you. God bless you though.....

Now I see how men be getting over on women.
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Aww Whipz...:lachen::lachen:...You SLAY me, you really do...:lachen::lachen:
 
I dated 1 or 2 with kids but I didn't take them serious and I didn't want to be in a serious relationship them... Some come with drama and some don't..but I didn't want to chance it.. I wanted the baby to be both our 1st together...... I really lucked out or dh.... ;)
 
Nope. Even men who have kids that they only see a couple times of year still have to pay child support and that eats into our discretionary dating cash.:lachen:
 
poochie167 said:
yes to the bolded. But that's not set in stone...cuz a corp. guy can have accidents too. And some have. But as i sit here and think...i honestly have not met a guy with a kid in a really long time. (age group 25-34) I think social circles matter a lot. The guys i know run with guys just like them with similar aspirations. Again not set it stone! i can probably lose fingers counting how many black men in that same age group i know WITHOUT kids.

now if we wanna talk about the guys from my old neighborhood before i moved up in life. the guys who had no aspirations....then i can lose count as to how many of them have kids. It is interesting when u take a step back and see the difference
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Agree with this entire post. People who have spent their 20's in school and building their careers are more likely not to have kids yet in their 30's. The good for nothings who ran the streets and have nothing going for themselves have several kids.

People run with those they have the most in common with. That's why I always laugh when "those" types tell me that I won't find a man in his 30's without kids. There are plenty of them and most of them are looking for their counterpart, a woman without kids.
 
I have. I was head over heels in love with daddy and daughter. Broke my heart when we broke up...felt sad on BOTH their birthdays.
 
Nope, nope, and nope. :nono: I tried it once and it was the biggest mistake of my life. Talk about baby mama drama. :blush: I enjoy my lifestyle and am not about to share it with someone else's unruly kids. Maybe I'm just too old to deal with it anymore. :perplexed Nope, nope, nope. :nono:
 
At my stage of life I would not seriously date a man without (I'm assuming you mean as a relationship, not just sex).

I have my children, want no more and need the prospect to understand my priorities.
 
If I were single and dating again, absolutely not. :nono: Too many women I know who did this tell me that it was the biggest mistake of their lives. Two of whom didn't even have any kids, but married men with kids! :perplexed

I'm too spoiled. The only kids dh and I have are the kiddos we created together. I've never had to deal with a baby mama and I never will.
 
Nope, I wouldn't seriously date a man with children. I want to build my relationship with him...not him, his kid(s) and his baby mama(s). And my age doesn't play a part in my decision either. I'll be 30 soon so of course the likelihood of me meeting someone without children is greatly reduced but I don't think I should settle simply because I'm older.
 
I dated a guy with a child when I was in college. He messed it up for every man with a child/kids I don't even waste my time with them it was too much drama. The baby mama would always call when we were out say the baby needs something and he would just act like we didn't even have plans, please. I'm waiting 4 marriage to have kids and I want God to send me a man who is doing them same.

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I would say "no" but my cousin's friend's situation made me think different.

His ex-wife had passed, and her ex was long gone. It turns out their kids got them together. His daughter went to her after church and say she wished she was her mommy. Her son went to him and said about the same to him. Wow, these kids were sneaky already! Fast-forward a year and their married and a family.

The only way I would be with a guy with children was if the mother was out of the picture, the MIL was fine with it, and the children ASKED me to. There's nothing more powerful than their approval. If a motherless child asked me to be their mommy, and I already loved their Daddy, I'd have a really hard time saying no.
 
If I were younger, kids would be a deal breaker. But as I got in my 30's, I relaxed my stance a bit because there are going to be very few people who are middle aged without children. When I dated, I made sure that there was no baby mama drama. I also considered the children to be reflections of the father. If the kids are unruly, I question the dad's fitness as a father. When there are kids involved, it really is a package deal.
 
No.

Been there, done that a few times.

No.

Call me a snob, I don't care.

No.

The only kids I want to raise are the ones that come out of my vagina.
 
I feel the same way u do. I can care less what others have to say. It takes a special person to raise someone else kids and I'm not that person! :)
phynestone said:
No.

Been there, done that a few times.

No.

Call me a snob, I don't care.

No.

The only kids I want to raise are the ones that come out of my vagina.
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When I was young I said absolutely not even when I just had my daughter because I wasn't a bugaboo baby mama. Because I've seen first hand babay mama drama. So I said never again. So I met this guy and he had children and he made me remember why I said absolutelynot. So I would say no not ever again. My lesson was learned.
 
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