Would You Date A Former Pimp

theRaven said:
I thought pimps were always heavily involved in human trafficking...
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Back in the 70's they would lie to silly girls. I remember reading how Maya Angelo got caught up with one. It was in her autobiography. She thought she was working to help finance a future with her man. She had an emergency and found his big beautiful house and his hot wife answered the door.She took her L and kept it moving.

Now they kidnap women and sell them like slaves. That business is so hot that there are big time dope dealers that have moved to trafficking.
 
Thump said:
You didn't ask me but drug dealers and the mob use to have some code among themselves too. Some dealers didn't sell to women or kids, family members or the neighborhood where their mother's lived. With the mob, women and children were off limits as far as retaliation was concerned.
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That's fascinating to know. Wonder why codes of ethics are disappearing among various groups?
 
Thump said:
No pimp tales... yet. Sorry lol.

Yes, I was very fortunate I was protected. I could have been dead, strung out, abused and raped many times over if he wasn't as feared and "respected" as he was. He fed people that were hungry, gave to churches and bought clothes for kids to go to school.
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I am glad you are okay sister and remained protected :) It's interesting how one powerful man can shield you from harm among many other preying men.

Yep, one of the major ways to maintain power and respect is providing the three basics for people: food, clothing, and money.
 
Lylddlebit said:
I have come to learn that it takes a lot for people with a toxic lifestyle history to accept a healthy loving relationship. This is the case even when they want to change, try to change, and make great strides at change. Usually they are more comfortable with the what they are used to than what is best for them. The large majority of the time they will usually sabotage a great thing when it contradicts the experiences they are used to and have become comfortable with.



No I wouldn't date a "reformed/former" pimp, in any set of circumstances. It's an endeavor, at times, to sustain a healthy relationship good man. Dating a pimp is stepping into failure with hopes for a miracle if you ask me. A lot more surprising if you succeed against all odds than if you fail at the predictable.
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B: You hit the nail on the head with this sentence!
 
Gin&Tonic said:
Back in the 70's they would lie to silly girls. I remember reading how Maya Angelo got caught up with one. It was in her autobiography. She thought she was working to help finance a future with her man. She had an emergency and found his big beautiful house and his hot wife answered the door.She took her L and kept it moving.

Now they kidnap women and sell them like slaves. That business is so hot that there are big time dope dealers that have moved to trafficking.
Click to expand...

Okay now I understand, the increase in human trafficking and how lucrative the money is. Yea I watched her documentary on netflix and she touched on that. Such a sad childhood but her art and brilliant mind sustained her.
 
Some of the nicest, most authentic ppl have pasts. As long as he turned his life around into something better, why not? Goodness knows, there are men out here who have never been pimps and are some of the mangiest mutts you'll ever meet.
 
IronButterfly said:
Some of the nicest, most authentic ppl have pasts. As long as he turned his life around into something better, why not? Goodness knows, there are men out here who have never been pimps and are some of the mangiest mutts you'll ever meet.
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Because turning his life around will rarely do enough for the people's lives he ruined.
You would realistically need to question what commonality makes you two good for one another. Are you taping into his risky past or is he tapping in what is good and stable with you? Do the two of you share the same level of guilt and regret of the past and through that aim for a better life together in the future?
How do you handle the past reaching out for him?
How to you handle his past intersecting with you by accident? How would you handle the past intentionally running into you?
How do you handle triggers that you can mistakenly set off when doing something you see as innocent because you don't have the context of said triggers?
Can you handle him storing the horrible in a dark place? Can you handle him being honest about who all of him really is and still love him?
There is so much you open yourself up to if you take this one on. You open yourself up to be a soft target inadvertently. When a person is really about that type of life, experience and automatic reactions keep them aware of dangerous situations around them and alert to handle them. That may not be the case for someone who really isn't street savvy but finds themselves attached to someone with a history of danger.

All my questions are rhetorical questions that one would need to strongly consider in this op situation to even begin to make an informed decision.
 
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theRaven said:
I am glad you are okay sister and remained protected :) It's interesting how one powerful man can shield you from harm among many other preying men.

Yep, one of the major ways to maintain power and respect is providing the three basics for people: food, clothing, and money.
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Thank you. I learn a lot from him and his "girlfriends" lol
 
theRaven said:
I thought pimps were always heavily involved in human trafficking...
Click to expand...
This level is brand new. it used to be them and their women on the stroll in a certain hood. each had their territories and whatnot. some sold their women via ads but most was just a local street thing up until the internet....

the last 15 years it's a whole new level of depravity. It's truly trafficking where the girls are shuttled off through god knows where even foreign countries and are truly separated from their families.

I do think the terms trafficking and prostitution are used interchangeably these days and that's incorrect.

For the OP I would never date a former pimp. Probably diseased anyway with 1297 kids scattered across the state.
 
Lylddlebit said:
Because turning his life around will rarely do enough for the people's lives he ruined.
You would realistically need to question what commonality makes you two good for one another. Are you taping into his risky past or is he tapping in what is good and stable with you? Do the two of you share the same level of guilt and regret of the past and through that aim for a better life together in the future?
How do you handle the past reaching out for him?
How to you handle his past intersecting with you by accident? How would you handle the past intentionally running into you?
How do you handle triggers that you can mistakenly set off when doing something you see as innocent because you don't have the context of said triggers?
Can you handle him storing the horrible in a dark place? Can you handle him being honest about who all of him really is and still love him?
There is so much you open yourself up to if you take this one on. You open yourself up to be a soft target inadvertently. When a person is really about that type of life, experience and automatic reactions keep them aware of dangerous situations around them and alert to handle them. That may not be the case for someone who really isn't street savvy but finds themselves attached to someone with a history of danger.
Click to expand...

Red highlight: Why would I share the same level of guilt? In fact, why would I share ANY guilt over someone else's actions? Nope.
Blue highlight: THIS right here, because I couldn't handle that. Reformed or not, just can't shake those actions.
Green highlight: Didn't even think about this. Cause you know the police will always be knocking on your door if/when something happens with a former "associate", the former associates themselves, etc. Uh-uh, it just ain't happening.
 
awhyley said:
Red highlight: Why would I share the same level of guilt? In fact, why would I share ANY guilt over someone else's actions? Nope.
Blue highlight: THIS right here, because I couldn't handle that. Reformed or not, just can't shake those actions.
Green highlight: Didn't even think about this. Cause you know the police will always be knocking on your door if/when something happens with a former "associate", the former associates themselves, etc. Uh-uh, it just ain't happening.
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I agree with u but I think you misunderstood me in the red. Let me clarify: I wasn't saying you should take on his guilt. It was more along the lines of are you guilty of something that makes his past seem equal to your own? Is there something that causes you to connect to remorse and trying to turn you life around? If there is something that would make you inclined to say "if he can look past my "x" I can look past his "y"" that can even the playing field. It's one of those human behavior phenomenona: how accommodating people are to the "unacceptable" when they have something similar in their own life that is on a similar level to the "unacceptable" they are encountering in someone else. I can see two people who both have a history of ruining other people's lives needing someone who could look past who they were and accept them as is once they reform. You remember that pleasure p song "did you wrong?" Well that's a common line of thinking. It amazing how easily people look past "horrible" when they feel guilty about their own stuff and just want to move forward. Now lol I did preface my post with the one prior to it. I wouldn't do it lol but I've seen and heard a lot, people do a lot of things that I don't.
 
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I couldn't date one. After reading all the rescue stories from victims of Craigslist, Backpage, Super Bowl, NBA Allstar Game, Thailand, Saudi Arabia, Libya, DRC etc, ain't no way I can give someone like that time of day. Human Trafficking is right up there with breaking the 10 Commandments for me.
 
Lylddlebit said:
Because turning his life around will rarely do enough for the people's lives he ruined.
You would realistically need to question what commonality makes you two good for one another. Are you taping into his risky past or is he tapping in what is good and stable with you? Do the two of you share the same level of guilt and regret of the past and through that aim for a better life together in the future?
How do you handle the past reaching out for him?
How to you handle his past intersecting with you by accident? How would you handle the past intentionally running into you?
How do you handle triggers that you can mistakenly set off when doing something you see as innocent because you don't have the context of said triggers?
Can you handle him storing the horrible in a dark place? Can you handle him being honest about who all of him really is and still love him?
There is so much you open yourself up to if you take this one on. You open yourself up to be a soft target inadvertently. When a person is really about that type of life, experience and automatic reactions keep them aware of dangerous situations around them and alert to handle them. That may not be the case for someone who really isn't street savvy but finds themselves attached to someone with a history of danger.

All my questions are rhetorical questions that one would need to strongly consider in this op situation to even begin to make an informed decision.
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Yes, one would need to consider a LOT of things when embarking on a relationship with someone like this. The same kind of things you would have to consider when dealing with anyone else. There are men in this world who have never been pimps and will be your worst nightmare. In fact, many come off as charming, thoughtful, "normal" ppl until they snap. Alot of your good, cleancut, college boys out here drugging, raping and beating women left and right. All American boys have "ruined" many a life. Just look at that ex-football player who had his pregnant girlfriend shot which resulted in her death and brain damage for the child. Or the men who douse their ex-girlfriends with gasoline. Or the men who throw acid in their ex-lovers' face. ETC. I'll take a former pimp over that any day!
Being an "ex" can be very significant. It means you've taken step away from doing what you were once doing and (perhaps) are embarking on a different path. Maybe with a clean slate. Maybe to right a bunch of wrongs.
Not all hoes are unhappy hoes and wouldn't necessarily count their lives as "ruined". The world is much bigger than these narrow-minded black or white scenarios.

Can I "handle him storing the horrible in a dark place"? Girl. lol You guys are so dramatic on here. lol Well, I've got a few dark places of my own and I'd rather deal with someone who can relate then some snob judging me over insignificant mess that happened decades ago.

Now, having said all that, I'm not here defending pimps across America as if they aren't some kind of low level vermin needing to be exterminated. But everybody isn't the same.

So, yeah, if I met a former pimp who suited my fancy and vice versa, and he was on a positive path that aligned with my current path, the possibilities are endless. And "tain't no body's biz-ness if I do!" lol
 
Lylddlebit said:
I agree with u but I think you misunderstood me in the red. Let me clarify: I wasn't saying you should take on his guilt. It was more along the lines of are you guilty of something that makes his past seem equal to your own? Is there something that causes you to connect to remorse and trying to turn you life around? If there is something that would make you inclined to say "if he can look past my "x" I can look past his "y"" that can even the playing field. It's one of those human behavior phenomenona: how accommodating people are to the "unacceptable" when they have something similar in their own life that is on a similar level to the "unacceptable" they are encountering in someone else. I can see two people who both have a history of ruining other people's lives needing someone who could look past who they were and accept them as is once they reform. You remember that pleasure p song "did you wrong?" Well that's a common line of thinking. It amazing how easily people look past "horrible" when they feel guilty about their own stuff and just want to move forward. Now lol I did preface my post with the one prior to it. I wouldn't do it lol but I've seen and heard a lot, people do a lot of things that I don't.
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Makes sense now. Thanks.
 
PJaye said:
Engaging with some people are a hard no: ex-cons, ex-pimps and ex-drug dealers.
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I wasn't even raised that way, or in that environment where I didn't have the option to make better choices, but I still got involved with men like that, trying to be captain save a thug. I was just too empathetic and thought if I provided/showed a different way of life, love, an a different mindset, that would be enough. And those type of men love my energy. They don't haven't for themselves, so they get with me, then try to drain it out of me. And will have the nerve to make me feel bad about they choices they made in life, and their upbringing.
I will never deal with those type of men ever again. I don't care how reformed they are. I won't speak ill of women that choose differently from me, I just know I don't want that in my circle anymore.
 
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shortdub78 said:
I wasn't even raised that way, or in that environment where I didn't have the option to make better choices, but I still got involved with men like that, trying to be captain save a thug. I was just too empathetic and thought if I provided/showed a different way of life, love, an a different mindset, that would be enough. And those type of men love my energy. They don't haven't for themselves, so they get with me, then try to drain it out of me. And will have the nerve to make me feel bad about they choices they made in life, and their upbringing.
I will never deal with those type of men ever again. I don't care how reformed they are. I won't speak ill, of women that choose differently from me, I just know what I don't want in my circle anymore.
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Sending you a hug:bighug:
 
Lylddlebit said:
I agree with u but I think you misunderstood me in the red. Let me clarify: I wasn't saying you should take on his guilt. It was more along the lines of are you guilty of something that makes his past seem equal to your own? Is there something that causes you to connect to remorse and trying to turn you life around? If there is something that would make you inclined to say "if he can look past my "x" I can look past his "y"" that can even the playing field. It's one of those human behavior phenomenona: how accommodating people are to the "unacceptable" when they have something similar in their own life that is on a similar level to the "unacceptable" they are encountering in someone else. I can see two people who both have a history of ruining other people's lives needing someone who could look past who they were and accept them as is once they reform. You remember that pleasure p song "did you wrong?" Well that's a common line of thinking. It amazing how easily people look past "horrible" when they feel guilty about their own stuff and just want to move forward. Now lol I did preface my post with the one prior to it. I wouldn't do it lol but I've seen and heard a lot, people do a lot of things that I don't.
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Girl this is so deep!
 
No. But I do believe people can change.

Everyone has a past , but his has caused others so much harm , danger, and pain ( mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally). I don't want to be caught up in the crosshairs of his karma. Too dangerous for me.
 
LHCF women talk all kinds of bougie crap, but one thing that's always emphasized here that's true is..................never marry down. I can't speak for anyone else, but for ME, an ex-pimp would be marrying way down in the bottom of the cesspool. And while I'm no great snob, I have no intention of leaving my rather comfortable upper middle class life to visit the cesspools, much less the bottom of them.

There are some things you just don't do. This is one of them. Besides, he'd probably be happier with a former working girl.

Lylddlebit said:
Because turning his life around will rarely do enough for the people's lives he ruined.
You would realistically need to question what commonality makes you two good for one another. Are you taping into his risky past or is he tapping in what is good and stable with you? Do the two of you share the same level of guilt and regret of the past and through that aim for a better life together in the future?
How do you handle the past reaching out for him?
How to you handle his past intersecting with you by accident? How would you handle the past intentionally running into you?
How do you handle triggers that you can mistakenly set off when doing something you see as innocent because you don't have the context of said triggers?
Can you handle him storing the horrible in a dark place? Can you handle him being honest about who all of him really is and still love him?
There is so much you open yourself up to if you take this one on. You open yourself up to be a soft target inadvertently. When a person is really about that type of life, experience and automatic reactions keep them aware of dangerous situations around them and alert to handle them. That may not be the case for someone who really isn't street savvy but finds themselves attached to someone with a history of danger.

All my questions are rhetorical questions that one would need to strongly consider in this op situation to even begin to make an informed decision.
Click to expand...
 
No, no... where would we go...how do you introduce a former pimp? A person like that is not on my level. That's like dating a homeless person. Some people are not fit to date or marry.
 
Simply because I assume birds of a feather. But you're right, he may be trying to get a social come up, but I will not be his stepping stool. I'm sure there are enough women out there willing to "help a brotha out" or "give a brotha a chance". But my momma don't have any sons who are pimps.

awhyley said:
Why? Based on his past, you would think that those are the types he's trying to avoid.
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