Would You Date or Marry a Former Stripper?

[Mestiza]

They wear the T shirts???..Wow. I'm imagining women walking down the street wearing T shirts that say " Sweet Meat: The best dancer on the planet".

 

[Mestiza]

Girl if you like him and he treats you good please don't hold his prior occupation against him. Chile in my prior life I don sold dope and ponanny to knee grows so I ain't one to talk. Do you. Oh and him too he is as figgety fine as you say. I want Tisha Campbell's husband remember

Well, you know that none of us are perfect!

Don't make Tisha cut you over Duane.

He is one fiiiiiiine man, if I've ever seen one. On top of that, he's very intelligent, caring, attentive, etc... He's hard to resist!

He says that he wants to give me his world, get married and start a family. When we met, he said that he saw a lot of guys talking to me, but didn't let that intimidate him b/c he knew that he wanted me to be in his life. He approached me and we ended up talking for about 1 1/2 - 2 hours, right then. The day after, he told me that he knew that he wanted me to be his wife and that's the thing that scared me about him. I don't fall in love, easily. So, it was kinda hard for me to relate to him experiencing love at first sight.

I'd better get to sleep b/c like clockwork, he's going to call me as soon as he wakes up.

 

[Arcadian]

I did date a stripper. He didn't TELL me that though (I found out by "accident" )

Now had he just told me then no big deal. He was a lovely person and treated me with the utmost respect (very attentive, no hanky panky,and just a very lovely person)and he was HAWT too!

I broke it off with him because he lied to me. The part about him going back to school I do believe, but leaving out the fact that he did strip was a no no in my book.

Otherwise, I would have let things develop to see where it went. Last I saw him was a few years ago before I moved here. He was still a very nice person, regretted he didn't tell me the deal, but, thats how things rock n roll you know?

Anyway moral of the story is this: if you like him and he's honest with you, go for it. As long as he treats you the way you want to be treated, nothing wrong with it from what I can see.Past is past. We all got some weird lil skeletons.

-A

 

[breezy]

hell no. i dont care how successful, handsome or masculine he is. male strippers are either dl gay or bi and they're all sleazy.

And you know this how?

 

[dlewis]

I would date him if he was "nice" (like Coco said to Ice T).

 

[StrawberryQueen]

Well, you know that none of us are perfect!

Don't make Tisha cut you over Duane.

He is one fiiiiiiine man, if I've ever seen one. On top of that, he's very intelligent, caring, attentive, etc... He's hard to resist!

He says that he wants to give me his world, get married and start a family. When we met, he said that he saw a lot of guys talking to me, but didn't let that intimidate him b/c he knew that he wanted me to be in his life. He approached me and we ended up talking for about 1 1/2 - 2 hours, right then. The day after, he told me that he knew that he wanted me to be his wife and that's the thing that scared me about him. I don't fall in love, easily. So, it was kinda hard for me to relate to him experiencing love at first sight.

I'd better get to sleep b/c like clockwork, he's going to call me as soon as he wakes up.

Go for it girl!

 

[sunnydaze]

I've yet to find a male stripper attractive.

It does not turn me on seeing a man strip. I don't know why.

 

[caribeandiva]

if i didn'y know and already fell in love by the time i discovered the truth then i'd consider it. if i know up front then No! i'd keep thinking about all the other people he'd been with and would drive myself crazy comparing myself with them.

 

[Mestiza]

At this point, I don't see how I could not date him. He says that I make him feel sooooooo amazing, and he makes me feel the same way. When we are together, or I talk to him, it seems as though I'm having the most wonderful dream.

 

[Mestiza]

I've yet to find a male stripper attractive.

It does not turn me on seeing a man strip. I don't know why.

I wouldn't be dating him b/c he was a former stripper. It would be b/c of the man that he is, who just happened to have stripped in the past. I hope that makes sense. I would love watching that handsome man putting on a show just for me, (in private, of course).

 

[smitmarv]

I said maybe only because he would have had to completly have left that life style, but I have to say that it is a turn off so I am much closer to no. It seems that men love to get with strippers and most women seemed to be turned off by the idea that he was dancing and rithing for a few bucks. Like someone else here said, there are much better and easier ways for a man to make money.

 

[Be Positive]

No, not under any circumstances. No tellin how many people they've "serviced". Here's another valid reason:

I am sharing this article since my post advising the use OF CONDOMS was deleted.

U.S. HIV Cases Soaring Among Black Women

Social Factors Make Group Vulnerable
By Darryl Fears
Washington Post Staff Writer


He was, Precious Jackson said, a very fine black man. He was 6 feet 2 inches tall with an almond-milk complexion, dreamy dark eyes and a deep voice. During their nearly two years together in Los Angeles, he was the sunshine of her life, even though he had a habit of landing in jail and refused to use a condom when they made love.

"I didn't ask him any questions," Jackson said in a recent interview. "I didn't ask him about his sexual history. I asked him if he had been tested, and he said one test came back positive but another one came back negative. I was excited to have this man in my life, because I felt I needed this man to validate who I was."

The man is now Jackson's ex-lover, but the two are forever attached by the AIDS virus she contracted from him, becoming, in the process, a part of the nation's fastest-growing group of people with HIV -- black women.

That development, epidemiologists say, is attributable to socioeconomic and demographic conditions specific to many African American communities. Black neighborhoods, they say, are more likely to be plagued by joblessness, poverty, drug use and a high ratio of women to men, a significant portion of whom cycle in and out of a prison system where the rate of HIV infection is estimated to be as much as 10 times higher than in the general population.

For black women, the result has been devastating, said Debra Fraser-Howze, founding president and CEO of the National Black Leadership Commission on AIDS.

"We should be very afraid," she said. "We should be afraid and we should be planning. What are we going to do when these women get sick? Most of these women don't even know they're HIV-positive. What are we going to do with these children? When women get sick, there is no one left to take care of the family."

In 2003, the rate of new AIDS cases for black women was 20 times that of white women and five times greater than the infection rate for Latinas, according to a report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Black and Hispanic women accounted for 77 percent of all new AIDS infections in 1994. Nine years later, the rate was 85 percent, according to the agency.

That same year, black and Hispanic women made up 83 percent of reported AIDS diagnoses among women, although they represent only 25 percent of all women, according to Fraser-Howze's New York-based commission. AIDS is among the three top causes of death for black women ages 35 to 44.

In the District, black women represent 90 percent of women living with AIDS while making up only 62 percent of all women in the city, according to a report last year by the District's Health Department.

Fraser-Howze said the number of health facilities in black communities is inadequate when compared with the growing size of the problem. Official Washington has been slow to respond, said Fraser-Howze, a former member of the President's Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS under President Bill Clinton.

Reducing HIV infections among black women will involve more than appeals to avoid risky behavior, asking women to remain abstinent and passing out condoms, said Adaora A. Adimora, an associate professor of medicine and an adjunct professor of epidemiology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

"You also have to eliminate the economic factors that dramatically influence behavior, disease and risk," she said.

Living conditions are "critically important" to fueling the spread of the disease, Adimora said. Communities influence "social networks, partner choices, likelihood of marriage, types of risk behaviors, as well as the consequences of risk behaviors," she said.

Jackson lived in South Los Angeles, formerly known as South Central, a world very much like the ones Adimora has researched. When she found her boyfriend, whom she declined to name for his protection, she said she held on to one of the few men she liked "no matter what." It is the story of tens of thousands of black women in the underclass and middle class.

The man seemed as honest as he was charming. He told her about his crack-cocaine habit, and about his frequent arrests. Looking back, she now wonders if he picked up another habit in jail, where men have sex with other men, by consent and by force. She wonders if he was one of the many African American men who hide their sexual orientation from others in the homophobic black community, a conspiracy of silence called the "down low."

In 1998, Jackson's boyfriend was arrested for drug possession and taken to Los Angeles County Jail, where he underwent a routine HIV test for inmates entering the system. A short while later, a letter was delivered to Jackson from jail "telling me he tested positive and that I should get checked out."

Her positive result arrived in May 1998. "I was 26. I was shocked. I was stunned," said Jackson, who is now an AIDS activist working for a Los Angeles treatment center called Women Alive. "A lot of emotions went through me. I was sad. I was angry at myself because I got caught up. 'Caught up' meaning I was so into keeping this man at all costs."

Black women are not more promiscuous than other groups of women, but they are the least likely to be married of all women because most live in communities where men are more scarce, Adimora said.

"A 22-year-old woman who has sex with multiple men in an area with very low HIV prevalence, such as a Georgetown bar for well connected young people in D.C. politics, probably has less chance of getting infected than a 22-year-old woman who had sex with only one man in a poor D.C. neighborhood with a very high HIV prevalence," Adimora said.

As black men cycle in and out of jail and prison, black women are torn from relationships and go on to have "more concurrent relationships," or more than one partner in communities where more people are infected, according to an article, "Social Context, Sexual Networks and Racial Disparities in Rates of Sexually Transmitted Infections," written by Adimora and Victor J. Schoenbach, an associate professor in UNC's school of medicine

"Incarceration directly affects sexual networks through disruption of existing partnerships," Adimora and Schoenbach wrote. Black men entering prison are placed in an environment with "a pool of individuals among whom . . . high risk sexual behaviors, HIV infection and other sexually transmitted infections are high."

HIV infection among prison inmates is estimated to be eight to 10 times higher than that of the general U.S. population, they wrote. But health experts can't point to any study of male sexual preferences before and after prison sentences, or in behavior once outside, Adimora said. Even if they could, she said, imprisonment and promiscuity in black communities are not the issue. The socioeconomic conditions that lead to them are.

A recent study by Rand Corp. and Oregon State University found that nearly half of all African Americans, almost regardless of age and income, believe that AIDS is a man-made disease, and many believe it was designed by the government to decimate their communities. The study attributed the belief, in part, to the Tuskegee experiment, in which the government studied the progression of syphilis in a group of black men between 1932 and 1972 while withholding treatment without their knowledge.

AIDS prevention activists say those beliefs are hampering efforts to fight the disease's spread in black communities.

Precious Jackson said people are responsible, too. She tells the women she counsels at Women Alive to take charge of their health, by whatever means. People cannot be trusted, she said -- something that became clear recently when she ran into her old boyfriend.

"He's out now," she said. "When I told him I was diagnosed, he apologized, said he was sorry, and that he didn't mean for this to happen. It was actually cool to see him."

Until he kept talking. "He said he had two more kids," Jackson said. "That's when I got mad. I said, 'How could you?' He said his girlfriend didn't want to use condoms. He said she knows he's infected."



© 2005 The Washington Post Company

 

[mermaid]

No, not under any circumstances. No tellin how many people they've "serviced". Here's another valid reason:

Same could be said about divorce lawyers. Or furnace servicemen or plumbers or pizza delivery dudes. Probably more so because more people come in contact with them than they do strippers.

 

[Mestiza]

No, not under any circumstances. No tellin how many people they've "serviced". Here's another valid reason:

I am sharing this article since my post advising the use OF CONDOMS was deleted.

U.S. HIV Cases Soaring Among Black Women

Social Factors Make Group Vulnerable
By Darryl Fears
Washington Post Staff Writer


He was, Precious Jackson said, a very fine black man. He was 6 feet 2 inches tall with an almond-milk complexion, dreamy dark eyes and a deep voice. During their nearly two years together in Los Angeles, he was the sunshine of her life, even though he had a habit of landing in jail and refused to use a condom when they made love.

"I didn't ask him any questions," Jackson said in a recent interview. "I didn't ask him about his sexual history. I asked him if he had been tested, and he said one test came back positive but another one came back negative. I was excited to have this man in my life, because I felt I needed this man to validate who I was."

The man is now Jackson's ex-lover, but the two are forever attached by the AIDS virus she contracted from him, becoming, in the process, a part of the nation's fastest-growing group of people with HIV -- black women.

That development, epidemiologists say, is attributable to socioeconomic and demographic conditions specific to many African American communities. Black neighborhoods, they say, are more likely to be plagued by joblessness, poverty, drug use and a high ratio of women to men, a significant portion of whom cycle in and out of a prison system where the rate of HIV infection is estimated to be as much as 10 times higher than in the general population.

For black women, the result has been devastating, said Debra Fraser-Howze, founding president and CEO of the National Black Leadership Commission on AIDS.

"We should be very afraid," she said. "We should be afraid and we should be planning. What are we going to do when these women get sick? Most of these women don't even know they're HIV-positive. What are we going to do with these children? When women get sick, there is no one left to take care of the family."

In 2003, the rate of new AIDS cases for black women was 20 times that of white women and five times greater than the infection rate for Latinas, according to a report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Black and Hispanic women accounted for 77 percent of all new AIDS infections in 1994. Nine years later, the rate was 85 percent, according to the agency.

That same year, black and Hispanic women made up 83 percent of reported AIDS diagnoses among women, although they represent only 25 percent of all women, according to Fraser-Howze's New York-based commission. AIDS is among the three top causes of death for black women ages 35 to 44.

In the District, black women represent 90 percent of women living with AIDS while making up only 62 percent of all women in the city, according to a report last year by the District's Health Department.

Fraser-Howze said the number of health facilities in black communities is inadequate when compared with the growing size of the problem. Official Washington has been slow to respond, said Fraser-Howze, a former member of the President's Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS under President Bill Clinton.

Reducing HIV infections among black women will involve more than appeals to avoid risky behavior, asking women to remain abstinent and passing out condoms, said Adaora A. Adimora, an associate professor of medicine and an adjunct professor of epidemiology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

"You also have to eliminate the economic factors that dramatically influence behavior, disease and risk," she said.

Living conditions are "critically important" to fueling the spread of the disease, Adimora said. Communities influence "social networks, partner choices, likelihood of marriage, types of risk behaviors, as well as the consequences of risk behaviors," she said.

Jackson lived in South Los Angeles, formerly known as South Central, a world very much like the ones Adimora has researched. When she found her boyfriend, whom she declined to name for his protection, she said she held on to one of the few men she liked "no matter what." It is the story of tens of thousands of black women in the underclass and middle class.

The man seemed as honest as he was charming. He told her about his crack-cocaine habit, and about his frequent arrests. Looking back, she now wonders if he picked up another habit in jail, where men have sex with other men, by consent and by force. She wonders if he was one of the many African American men who hide their sexual orientation from others in the homophobic black community, a conspiracy of silence called the "down low."

In 1998, Jackson's boyfriend was arrested for drug possession and taken to Los Angeles County Jail, where he underwent a routine HIV test for inmates entering the system. A short while later, a letter was delivered to Jackson from jail "telling me he tested positive and that I should get checked out."

Her positive result arrived in May 1998. "I was 26. I was shocked. I was stunned," said Jackson, who is now an AIDS activist working for a Los Angeles treatment center called Women Alive. "A lot of emotions went through me. I was sad. I was angry at myself because I got caught up. 'Caught up' meaning I was so into keeping this man at all costs."

Black women are not more promiscuous than other groups of women, but they are the least likely to be married of all women because most live in communities where men are more scarce, Adimora said.

"A 22-year-old woman who has sex with multiple men in an area with very low HIV prevalence, such as a Georgetown bar for well connected young people in D.C. politics, probably has less chance of getting infected than a 22-year-old woman who had sex with only one man in a poor D.C. neighborhood with a very high HIV prevalence," Adimora said.

As black men cycle in and out of jail and prison, black women are torn from relationships and go on to have "more concurrent relationships," or more than one partner in communities where more people are infected, according to an article, "Social Context, Sexual Networks and Racial Disparities in Rates of Sexually Transmitted Infections," written by Adimora and Victor J. Schoenbach, an associate professor in UNC's school of medicine

"Incarceration directly affects sexual networks through disruption of existing partnerships," Adimora and Schoenbach wrote. Black men entering prison are placed in an environment with "a pool of individuals among whom . . . high risk sexual behaviors, HIV infection and other sexually transmitted infections are high."

HIV infection among prison inmates is estimated to be eight to 10 times higher than that of the general U.S. population, they wrote. But health experts can't point to any study of male sexual preferences before and after prison sentences, or in behavior once outside, Adimora said. Even if they could, she said, imprisonment and promiscuity in black communities are not the issue. The socioeconomic conditions that lead to them are.

A recent study by Rand Corp. and Oregon State University found that nearly half of all African Americans, almost regardless of age and income, believe that AIDS is a man-made disease, and many believe it was designed by the government to decimate their communities. The study attributed the belief, in part, to the Tuskegee experiment, in which the government studied the progression of syphilis in a group of black men between 1932 and 1972 while withholding treatment without their knowledge.

AIDS prevention activists say those beliefs are hampering efforts to fight the disease's spread in black communities.

Precious Jackson said people are responsible, too. She tells the women she counsels at Women Alive to take charge of their health, by whatever means. People cannot be trusted, she said -- something that became clear recently when she ran into her old boyfriend.

"He's out now," she said. "When I told him I was diagnosed, he apologized, said he was sorry, and that he didn't mean for this to happen. It was actually cool to see him."

Until he kept talking. "He said he had two more kids," Jackson said. "That's when I got mad. I said, 'How could you?' He said his girlfriend didn't want to use condoms. He said she knows he's infected."



© 2005 The Washington Post Company

I appreciate you posting that, however, everyone should be cautious. In all honesty, there's no telling how many people anyone has "serviced."

 

[Mestiza]

Same could be said about divorce lawyers. Or furnace servicemen or plumbers or pizza delivery dudes. Probably more so because more people come in contact with them than they do strippers.

I couldn't agree w/ you more!

 

[Hareitiz]

At this point, I don't see how I could not date him. He says that I make him feel sooooooo amazing, and he makes me feel the same way. When we are together, or I talk to him, it seems as though I'm having the most wonderful dream.

That's so sweet!! If you feel like this then DO YOU and go for it! I didn't judge the guy I went out with because he was a former stripper, he just had a "you can take the stripper out of the club but can't take the club out of the stripper" thing going on. But if you are happy, that's all that matters.

 

[Laginappe]

Same could be said about divorce lawyers. Or furnace servicemen or plumbers or pizza delivery dudes. Probably more so because more people come in contact with them than they do strippers.

I wish you would say it again.

 

[mermaid]

I wish you would say it again.

Okay- (Unfortunately, people really believe that someone with a so-called "respectable" profession is safer and THAT is how this disease gets spread- preconcieved notions and prejudices.)

Same could be said about divorce lawyers. Or furnace servicemen or plumbers or pizza delivery dudes. Probably more so because more people come in contact with them than they do strippers.

 

[breezy]

Okay- (Unfortunately, people really believe that someone with a so-called "respectable" profession is safer and THAT is how this disease gets spread- preconcieved notions and prejudices.)

Same could be said about divorce lawyers. Or furnace servicemen or plumbers or pizza delivery dudes. Probably more so because more people come in contact with them than they do strippers.

 

[patient1]

In agreement with Mermaid. As a matter of fact, I think that perspective is downright DANGEROUS. No woman should be led to believe that a man's profession has a bearing on his sexual "safety". I'm in a rare mood these last few days. So I'm gonna stop THERE!

p1

 

[StrawberryQueen]

So how's it going mestiza?

 

[Mestiza]

But see, male strippers are something else. They're not like female strippers. I would not want to see my bf dancing for me like a stripper unless he's trying to be funny b/c it's not sexy. It's really not. You saw him on commercials? Wow was he that serious?

The commercials for his tour were on the radio. Yeah, he was that serious. He used the money that he made from dancing and invested it, wisely.

 

[Mestiza]

Go for it girl!

That's so sweet!! If you feel like this then DO YOU and go for it! I didn't judge the guy I went out with because he was a former stripper, he just had a "you can take the stripper out of the club but can't take the club out of the stripper" thing going on. But if you are happy, that's all that matters.

At this point, I don't see how I could not date him. He says that I make him feel sooooooo amazing, and he makes me feel the same way. When we are together, or I talk to him, it seems as though I'm having the most wonderful dream.

It looks like I'll be moving forward w/ him. He's becoming more irresistible by the day. :Blush2: Gotta run! That's him calling me, now.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

In agreement with Mermaid. As a matter of fact, I think that perspective is downright DANGEROUS. No woman should be led to believe that a man's profession has a bearing on his sexual "safety". I'm in a rare mood these last few days. So I'm gonna stop THERE!

p1

No no don't stop... Trust me I see alot of businessmen that have worse and unbelievable sexual histories than a MALE STRIPPER We've all seen this type too. The one that has a ghetto rich cash flow and lures women to do anything under his spell. A career or job never governs what's behind closed doors!

 

[Mestiza]

So how's it going mestiza?

Things are going great! He gets sweeter and more thoughtful by the day. He hates being apart from me and wants me to move to his area, ASAP. I miss him, too. He doesn't know it, but he takes my breath away, sometimes. He said to make sure that I want him b/c my life is about to make a tremendously positive change and that he is going to love and cherish me until the end of time.

 

[cafe1]

The commercials for his tour were on the radio. Yeah, he was that serious. He used the money that he made from dancing and invested it, wisely.

Shoot..tell it! I am running a commerical for one right now...!

 

[Mestiza]

Shoot..tell it! I am running a commerical for one right now...!

The commercials for his tour were on the radio. Yeah, he was that serious. He used the money that he made from dancing and invested it, wisely.

It sounds like you're working w/ tours that are for large venues like his were. Much success to you! :wink2:

 

[firecracker]

Hey Mets ole boy show you any of his ole routines or move yet?

 

[Mestiza]

Hey Mets ole boy show you any of his ole routines or move yet?

I haven't let him show me any of his moves just yet. He told me that he may have to revive me when he's done b/c he's going to make it extra special.

 

[firecracker]

I haven't let him show me any of his moves just yet. He told me that he may have to revive me when he's done b/c he's going to make it extra special.

Well go head on PAPI! Him gon have to use the helmut remover on ya oh I forgot its the Heimlich maneuver.
Your purple smiley got me busting a gut.