Who should pay?

[loveafterwar]

1. Ya'll better learn to look the other way when the bill comes.
2. If a man is stingy/doesn't want to share in the beginning - that's how he is.
3. I would like it better for a man to take me on a cheap but fun date than to have one take me to a nice place but we have to go dutch. Um no, that is not a date. I am liable to socialize a lot and may exchange numbers with someone else discretely if I am so inclined.

Officially a new rule for moi. I refuse to pay for a date YOU asked me on. I don't understand why this is such a hard concept for some men to understand.

 

[loveafterwar]

I'm in my 20's and have NEVER had issues with a man wanting to pay; no going dutch either . A lot of younger men want to play games, but if a woman makes it clear what she will and will not tolerate, then they will know that you are a woman who likes to be "chased" and won't fall for the okie doke

In my mind I have a whole speech prepared but I can never figure out how to make it come out without sounding entitled, gold diggerish, or itchy. I'd think an adult could handle someone telling them their expectations, but I've had some people flip out on me because all women only care about a man spending money on them and blah blah blah

 

[LovelyNaps26]

I guess it really depends on the age range/generation. I could be wrong, but I don't think men age <40s know what courting is. In the age of casual dating, anything goes - Dutch, splitting the bill, etc.

this is not entirely true. i agree many don't understand this but there are those that do. it's important to keep this in mind b/c you can set yourself up to be treated less than you deserve. expect to be treated like a lady. if he doesn't treat you like one you need to look at him like he's crazy. like "wait, you don't know my worth...something must be wrong with you"

i also will say that there are a group who understand chivalry b/c they've seen it in practice but are just plain lazy. they will get away with what they think they can.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

So my bff had a date this weekend. The guy asked her out. The bill came he took out his wallet, but to be kind she asked if he wanted to split check. He got a huge grin and sad "ok!!!!!!" , " ill get the tip".

Date was Friday, he called today and she is not returning the call.

I see her point, but then I look at it like she offered....

What do you ladies think?

Eta: op sorry for asking question in your thread

Why would she offer to pay? WTH? LOL.

 

[SelahOco]

So my bff had a date this weekend. The guy asked her out. The bill came he took out his wallet, but to be kind she asked if he wanted to split check. He got a huge grin and sad "ok!!!!!!" , " ill get the tip".

Date was Friday, he called today and she is not returning the call.

I see her point, but then I look at it like she offered....

What do you ladies think?

Eta: op sorry for asking question in your thread

She should not have offered but I know some women think it's 'polite' to ask. But the fact that he started grinning and said okay has me

I wouldn't call him back either. Next time he gone be telling her to get the tip plus her half!!!

 

[God_Favor]

She should not have offered but I know some women think it's 'polite' to ask. But the fact that he started grinning and said okay has me

I wouldn't call him back either. Next time he gone be telling her to get the tip plus her half!!!

Lol, right!!! I guess she was being polite and didn't think he would accept the offer, lol. He gave her cash for his part and she put the dinner on her card. They were going bowling afterward and she didn't go after that...

 

[getoffmylawn]

I would think the man would want to pay if he's dating with the idea of marriage down the road. When I was dating DH it never even dawned on me to pay, never crossed my mind lol