Who has Actually Given Up on Black Men...What Did it for You?

[ambergirl]

Also, it should not be forced down women's throats that they should love Black men no matter what.

That kind of attitude (that we need to love them, love them, just love them) over these many decades has not helped women to discern when to drop the men doing no good and it has not helped the men to want to improve themselves.

Black men get an abundance of love from Black women.... women all over will trip over any kiind of brotha. The most broke, busted, ugliest of black man has and can get many a Black woman to love him. Shoot...some Black men even have more than one Black woman loving him.....a woman here, a woman there, heck..everywhere they lay their heads they have a black woman A lot of sistas on here can testify to finding out about that.

It is not more unconditional love from Black women that Black men need to whip them into shape.[/quote]

ITA with this.

Me too!

I think alot of us date the undateable because we're afraid (or just plain tired) of being alone. I think I'm an attractive woman, but I ain't living the Sex in the City lifestyle by any stretch and I am an equal opportunity dater. My dates are far and few between and while I'm not tempted to date these low-end men, I understand how some women fall into the trap.

For me, at the end of the day, I have to value me more than a man or a relationship...but I don't think our community sends black women that message. Instead we get ish if we aren't giving any stop on by brother play.

 

[macherieamour]

I agree with Sea and Muse on a lot of their points.

I cut men AND women out of my life that are up to no good. I don't need their wayward ways to come into my spirit or to influence my environment. I'm not perfect, but I am all about uplifting other people and not disrespecting them. The standards I maintain for me, I also maintain for the other men and women in my life. I will even try to help them maintain that own standard for themselves (with job, relationships, faith, etc.) and I expect them to do the same for me.

OOF I feel you on this

 

[MamaBraidedIt]

My comments are going to be off-topic but....... I think there's an awful lot of sticking your head in the sand going on in the Black community. For the last twenty years our community has had its own version of don't ask don't tell, and where has it gotten us? Black women have the lowest marriage rate, the highest rate of children out of wedlock (no judgment) fastest growing community infected with AIDs....etc. etc. What will it take for us to wise up? Black women dropping dead in the streets?

I'm sorry, but it's time to call a spade a spade. Yes, there are a number of wonderful black men (my Daddy is a wonderful man too, and my brothers have also managed to stay out of jailerplexed ), but bottom lining it for you...today, they are the slim minority.

We can play wish upon a star for as long as we want to (I'm just putting that out into the universe), but that is not going to solve the problems that are DESTROYING the black community. God helps those who help themselves, and for that reason I admire women who vote with their feet. If more of our successful, educated, highly sought after black women did that, maybe it would have a trickle down effect. Because right now, too many women are putting up with BS, just so they can say that they've managed to hunt down the elusive black man.

So....have I decided to give up on black men? I truly wonder why we care so much. Based on the number of times I see black women described by other black women on this board as bitter, jealous, triflin, special, etc etc, with little or no provocation, it's clear to me that we find it very easy to give up on black women.

Now all we need is the benediction...halleluhuarrrrr!!!!

 

[honeycomb719]

[SIZE=3 To me when selecting a mate it isn’t just about love. My approach would be looking at a potential partner like a business. Would you invest in something that has a history of bad performance? Does this individual show behavioral patterns that may end up hurting you and your family in the long run? I honestly don’t think women think of those things when they decide to lay with someone or reproduce children. [/SIZE]

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming black women for the condition of our communities but I would like to think before someone decides to get pregnant by a man you need to examine their character. Let’s say the relationship doesn’t work out, will he still be man enough to participate in raising your children? To me those basic foundations are lacking because kids and young men of our generation (ages 21-30) are not being raised to conduct themselves with integrity or be responsible.

[SIZE]

This is my thoughts exactly. Well put.

 

[MuseofTroy]

I agree with Sea and Muse on a lot of their points.

However, I am 100% behind Muse when it comes to women taking responsibility for their share of the blame when it comes to Black Men. I'm not talking about just mothers. I'm talking about women who accept men into their lives that are substandard. Men who lie, cheat, steal, sell drugs, etc...in other words, men who live their lives below the standards that the women around them keep for themselves. I mean...take LHCF for example.... in another thread a girl posted about how she is dating some "baller"..(FYI, doing any kind of illegal activity that is poisioning our neighborhoods and that risks jail time and a bullet to the head does not make one a "baller"). ..my understanding of her comments is that he is involved in some sort of illegal and dangerous activity (like dealing guns or drugs). Now in response to her, women on LHCF are like...'ok, just be careful' or 'you do you girl and have fun doing it.' What kind of shyte is that!! Too often, women support other women who put up with this nonsense.

I'm reading it and thinking...ok...this is wrong on so many levels. First, other women need not support this woman and have her thinking that it is ok to date someone doing such ish. You don't have to condemn the woman but don't rally support for her (and him) either. On LHCF or IRL.

Next, too many women like her are in abundance...dating drug dealers, pimps, etc. and thinking it is cool. No wonder teenage boys think it is some kind of rite of passage to deal or go to jail.... Yes, there are boys out there that are just waiting to go to jail or to carry around a piece because they think it is cool and why....because women trip over themselves for men like this thinking that they are "balling" -- WTF!

Next, there are women who even after ole boy goes to jail, comes out, deals again...they date him and put up with his ish. Why even have someone like that around you? Set a standard in your life that you will not date or befriend men on that level (liars, cheater, drug dealers). Women bend over for no good men knowing they are no good. If we raised our standards for the men around us, then they will improve. No longer will boys want to go to jail.

Same for putting up with men known to disprespect other women by being the other woman or putting up with the man knowing that he has cheated on you (once or repeatedly). Others stay friends with men like this.

I cut men AND women out of my life that are up to no good. I don't need their wayward ways to come into my spirit or to influence my environment. I'm not perfect, but I am all about uplifting other people and not disrespecting them. The standards I maintain for me, I also maintain for the other men and women in my life. I will even try to help them maintain that own standard for themselves (with job, relationships, faith, etc.) and I expect them to do the same for me.

WOW WOW WOW. There is nothing else I really need to say. I wish I can give you coodles because this post was so on point.

AS for the bolded, I saw that thread and couldn't believe someone was bragging about being with a degenerate who contributes to the plight of the black community. I don't consider those type of men "ballers" real ballers are the Earl Graves, Robert Johnson, the lawyers, doctors, bankers, business men who make real money LEGALLY. Slinging drugs, guns, or particpating in any illegal activity is not the business and the primary reason why so many black people are screwed up.

 

[Shimmie]

I agree with Sea and Muse on a lot of their points.

However, I am 100% behind Muse when it comes to women taking responsibility for their share of the blame when it comes to Black Men. I'm not talking about just mothers. I'm talking about women who accept men into their lives that are substandard. Men who lie, cheat, steal, sell drugs, etc...in other words, men who live their lives below the standards that the women around them keep for themselves. I mean...take LHCF for example.... in another thread a girl posted about how she is dating some "baller"..(FYI, doing any kind of illegal activity that is poisioning our neighborhoods and that risks jail time and a bullet to the head does not make one a "baller"). ..my understanding of her comments is that he is involved in some sort of illegal and dangerous activity (like dealing guns or drugs). Now in response to her, women on LHCF are like...'ok, just be careful' or 'you do you girl and have fun doing it.' What kind of shyte is that!! Too often, women support other women who put up with this nonsense.

I'm reading it and thinking...ok...this is wrong on so many levels. First, other women need not support this woman and have her thinking that it is ok to date someone doing such ish. You don't have to condemn the woman but don't rally support for her (and him) either. On LHCF or IRL.

Next, too many women like her are in abundance...dating drug dealers, pimps, etc. and thinking it is cool. No wonder teenage boys think it is some kind of rite of passage to deal or go to jail.... Yes, there are boys out there that are just waiting to go to jail or to carry around a piece because they think it is cool and why....because women trip over themselves for men like this thinking that they are "balling" -- WTF!

Next, there are women who even after ole boy goes to jail, comes out, deals again...they date him and put up with his ish. Why even have someone like that around you? Set a standard in your life that you will not date or befriend men on that level (liars, cheater, drug dealers). Women bend over for no good men knowing they are no good. If we raised our standards for the men around us, then they will improve. No longer will boys want to go to jail.

Same for putting up with men known to disprespect other women by being the other woman or putting up with the man knowing that he has cheated on you (once or repeatedly). Others stay friends with men like this.

I cut men AND women out of my life that are up to no good. I don't need their wayward ways to come into my spirit or to influence my environment. I'm not perfect, but I am all about uplifting other people and not disrespecting them. The standards I maintain for me, I also maintain for the other men and women in my life. I will even try to help them maintain that own standard for themselves (with job, relationships, faith, etc.) and I expect them to do the same for me.

I hear Jesus shouting on this one...!!!

BTW: I didn't know that "Baller" thread was about drug dealers . Lord, Lord, Lord.... That's is 'grieving'.

 

[envybeauty]

I hear Jesus shouting on this one...!!!

BTW: I didn't know that "Baller" thread was about drug dealers . Lord, Lord, Lord.... That's is 'grieving'.

The baller thread is not about drug dealers per se but each person has her own definition of a baller so some posted about dating professional business men, etc. and others posted about....well......you know.

 

[envybeauty]

WOW WOW WOW. There is nothing else I really need to say. I wish I can give you coodles because this post was so on point.

AS for the bolded, I saw that thread and couldn't believe someone was bragging about being with a degenerate who contributes to the plight of the black community. I don't consider those type of men "ballers" real ballers are the Earl Graves, Robert Johnson, the lawyers, doctors, bankers, business men who make real money LEGALLY. Slinging drugs, guns, or particpating in any illegal activity is not the business and the primary reason why so many black people are screwed up.

Ok... ballers are real men who are successful in legal endeavours. Men who do so much and lead so many that "baller" doesn't even begin to describe their greatness. Men who demand respect at the drop of their names. .... Barak Obama, Kenneth Chenault, Colin Powell....Men that can get so much from others without paying a dime because their name carries so much respect that you just drop it and people open doors for them. That is balling... where you don't even have to know how much is in their bank account because their worth is priceless. Ballers. Not dealers.

I wish more women would learn to recognize a "baller".

 

[Summer_Rain]

Ok... ballers are real men who are successful in legal endeavours. Men who do so much and lead so many that "baller" doesn't even begin to describe their greatness. Men who demand respect at the drop of their names. .... Barak Obama, Kenneth Chenault, Colin Powell....Men that can get so much from others without paying a dime because their name carries so much respect that you just drop it and people open doors for them. That is balling... where you don't even have to know how much is in their bank account because their worth is priceless. Ballers. Not dealers.

I wish more women would learn to recognize a "baller".

You're speaking that absolute truth!

We can thank the current state of 'hip hop' for the distorted view and defintion of "baller"

 

[Shimmie]

The baller thread is not about drug dealers per se but each person has her own definition of a baller so some posted about dating professional business men, etc. and others posted about....well......you know.

Okay, I have a question...

Does the name 'baller' have a ring of 'insult' to it.

What not just call him, 'well off' or a Waddy. I can't come up with anything better...

But the name 'baller'...I wouldn't want to with someone called that. Wouldn't that make me a 'ball-ee' or a ballerette....

 

[MuseofTroy]

Ok... ballers are real men who are successful in legal endeavours. Men who do so much and lead so many that "baller" doesn't even begin to describe their greatness. Men who demand respect at the drop of their names. .... Barak Obama, Kenneth Chenault, Colin Powell....Men that can get so much from others without paying a dime because their name carries so much respect that you just drop it and people open doors for them. That is balling... where you don't even have to know how much is in their bank account because their worth is priceless. Ballers. Not dealers.

I wish more women would learn to recognize a "baller".

CHURCH!

 

[envybeauty]

Okay, I have a question...

Does the name 'baller' have a ring of 'insult' to it.

What not just call him, 'well off' or a Waddy. I can't come up with anything better...

But the name 'baller'...I wouldn't want to with someone called that. Wouldn't that make me a 'ball-ee' or a ballerette....

I have no idea where the term came from originally. My best guess is that it had to do with athletes as Blacks made great segways in sports in segregated times and to this day, black athletes are well paid and in abundance. They also tend to be big spenders as most have no clue as to how to invest their millions and instead spend lavishly on parties, girls, etc.

My guess......

ETA: It probably then grew to include really any person of great means and not just athletes.

 

[MzLady78]

CHURCH!

LOL.

Speaking of Mr. Obama, did ya'll see his numbers for how much money he's raised for his campaign? He's in 2nd place, right behind Hillary and not by much either! I was actually really surprised!

 

[Summer_Rain]

I have no idea where the term came from originally. My best guess is that it had to do with athletes as Blacks made great segways in sports in segregated times and to this day, black athletes are well paid and in abundance. They also tend to be big spenders as most have no clue as to how to invest their millions and instead spend lavishly on parties, girls, etc.

My guess......

Baller is a hip hop term. I would guess it to be coined in the 90's when "bling bling" and shiny suits became really popular.

But yeah, it's about money, flashiness, and showboating really. iMHO

 

[Shimmie]

Thanks Nvybeauty and Summerrain:

I don't want a 'baller'...not my style.

Now, the man I love can have money, just not the baller name.

 

[Nightingale]

This thread is on point! Needs a sticky...

 

[Bmack]

Sister, you broke it down so that it can be forever broken... I SO AGREE!

These types of threads truly disgust me because it’s making an unfair generalization about black men based the experiences of a few bitter black women. As I stated numerous times if all a woman is attracting is trash, then perhaps she should evaluate herself. Perhaps you aren’t as on point as you think you are if nothing but trash is coming your way. Jerks and bad apples come in every race, size, profession, and age. Why even go there about giving up on black men and just live your life. If you want to give up on black men then you might as well thrown in the towel and either turn lesbian or be single for the rest of your life because the perfect man does not exist. From my experience I’ve met good and bad black men. I’ve dealt with men of different races who give a new meaning to pompous idiot pig. Nevertheless I will not allow those few bad experiences change my whole perception of a whole group or race of people. No progressive thinking individual with an ounce of intelligence will buy into such ignorance. Giving up is for people with defeatist attitudes and refuse to see the positive in a situation.

 

[Bmack]

Damn!!! I love it!!!

My comments are going to be off-topic but....... I think there's an awful lot of sticking your head in the sand going on in the Black community. For the last twenty years our community has had its own version of don't ask don't tell, and where has it gotten us? Black women have the lowest marriage rate, the highest rate of children out of wedlock (no judgment) fastest growing community infected with AIDs....etc. etc. What will it take for us to wise up? Black women dropping dead in the streets?

I'm sorry, but it's time to call a spade a spade. Yes, there are a number of wonderful black men (my Daddy is a wonderful man too, and my brothers have also managed to stay out of jailerplexed ), but bottom lining it for you...today, they are the slim minority.

We can play wish upon a star for as long as we want to (I'm just putting that out into the universe), but that is not going to solve the problems that are DESTROYING the black community. God helps those who help themselves, and for that reason I admire women who vote with their feet. If more of our successful, educated, highly sought after black women did that, maybe it would have a trickle down effect. Because right now, too many women are putting up with BS, just so they can say that they've managed to hunt down the elusive black man.

So....have I decided to give up on black men? I truly wonder why we care so much. Based on the number of times I see black women described by other black women on this board as bitter, jealous, triflin, special, etc etc, with little or no provocation, it's clear to me that we find it very easy to give up on black women.

 

[Shimmie]

LOL.

Speaking of Mr. Obama, did ya'll see his numbers for how much money he's raised for his campaign? He's in 2nd place, right behind Hillary and not by much either! I was actually really surprised!

I'm amazed but not surprised. I amazed that it happened so quickly; it was just a few months ago, he was appearing to lag behind Hillary.

Having Hillary as the 'top' contender only shows just how weak and limited our choices for this country's leadership has come to.

 

[Shimmie]

I have no idea where the term came from originally. My best guess is that it had to do with athletes as Blacks made great segways in sports in segregated times and to this day,

black athletes are well paid and in abundance. They also tend to be big spenders as most have no clue as to how to invest their millions and instead spend lavishly on parties, girls, etc.

My guess......

ETA: It probably then grew to include really any person of great means and not just athletes.

And it's given 'back' to the White world, when many of these men choose to marry a white woman.

 

[alwayzalady22]

And it's given 'back' to the White world, when many of these men choose to marry a white woman.

it's not just that! they give it back when they buy the cars, the jewelry, the hennessey, the clothes, the shoes (the shoes may have their name on it and they may be collecting a 6 figure check, but a white man is making hundreds of millions off of him still), frequent the clubs (strip and otherwise)...hell, just PLAYING on most of the teams brings money back to the white world...it irritates me to NO end that these athletes THINK they have a lotta money, when the team owners and the leagues are just giving them a fraction of the money they generate and its not the owners' fault, that's how business goes, but maybe if players would save their money, get together after they retire, and start BUYING teams, then they could REALLY be "ballers"...that happens some, but A)not enough players do it, and B) team ownership is still a good ol' boys thing, and they ain't eager to let blacks in on the real money....

 

[pebbles]

LOL.

Speaking of Mr. Obama, did ya'll see his numbers for how much money he's raised for his campaign? He's in 2nd place, right behind Hillary and not by much either! I was actually really surprised!

I saw it!! Go Obama!!

 

[Shimmie]

it's not just that! they give it back when they buy the cars, the jewelry, the hennessey, the clothes, the shoes (the shoes may have their name on it and they may be collecting a 6 figure check, but a white man is making hundreds of millions off of him still), frequent the clubs (strip and otherwise)...

hell, just PLAYING on most of the teams brings money back to the white world...it irritates me to NO end that these athletes THINK they have a lotta money, when the team owners and the leagues are just giving them a fraction of the money they generate

and its not the owners' fault, that's how business goes, but maybe if players would save their money, get together after they retire, and start BUYING teams, then they could REALLY be "ballers"...that happens some, but

A)not enough players do it, and B) team ownership is still a good ol' boys thing, and they ain't eager to let blacks in on the real money....

Thank you for posting this. I totally agree with all of what you said...

This is what fuels my reasons of disappointments even more when they marry white. There's a Black woman who's entitled to share this and Black children who deserve to have a better life. I'm not speaking of the 'foolishness' of lavish and crazy spending; but the life that says 'no welfare' or other struggles to survive. Instead, it goes straight to a white woman.

As you shared as well, these atheletes are not forming Black enterprises to 'own' their own. Meaning even more white empowerment.

I don't know much about sports and the players but one who comes to mind that I appreciate is Jerry Rice, he has a Black wife and Black children and he appears to be an upstanding man. . I know there are more.

 

[DKO]

I can say that I put the T in Tired of black men then ended up marrying a caribbean brother and can I just tell you....what a difference. He and I have the discussion all the time because he wants to know how brothas from the US differ from caribbean men. I tell him that brothas here tend not to be as focused and driven. And the men that are making good money tend to have issues with committment. When you deal with men from single parent households sometimes you deal with other issues (being a momma's boy, no idea what being a man is or how to take the lead and step up, not understanding what his role of being a man is, etc...). But on the flip side, I've dated several bi-racial men and they have just as many problems. One of my ex's use to always ask me if he looked black and was always concerned about that.

 

[Shimmie]

I can say that I put the T in Tired of black men then ended up marrying a caribbean brother and can I just tell you....what a difference. He and I have the discussion all the time because he wants to know how brothas from the US differ from caribbean men. I tell him that brothas here tend not to be as focused and driven. And the men that are making good money tend to have issues with committment. When you deal with men from single parent households sometimes you deal with other issues (being a momma's boy, no idea what being a man is or how to take the lead and step up, not understanding what his role of being a man is, etc...). But on the flip side, I've dated several bi-racial men and they have just as many problems.

One of my ex's use to always ask me if he looked black and was always concerned about that.

Did he want to look Black? Or white? I hope he wasn't ashamed of being Black. That's another part of our Black male problems. They've been put down for so long, that they lack true pride of being who 'they' are...Important.

BTW: Are you a Belly Dancer too? If so, "sweet shimmies" to you. I'm glad you are happily married to a 'Brother' (no matter what culture). I also wish you eternal blessings for you and your husband. Amen.
"Belly Dancer's husband's have more fun..

 

[s_terry]

I agree with Sea and Muse on a lot of their points.

However, I am 100% behind Muse when it comes to women taking responsibility for their share of the blame when it comes to Black Men. I'm not talking about just mothers. I'm talking about women who accept men into their lives that are substandard. Men who lie, cheat, steal, sell drugs, etc...in other words, men who live their lives below the standards that the women around them keep for themselves. I mean...take LHCF for example.... in another thread a girl posted about how she is dating some "baller"..(FYI, doing any kind of illegal activity that is poisioning our neighborhoods and that risks jail time and a bullet to the head does not make one a "baller"). ..my understanding of her comments is that he is involved in some sort of illegal and dangerous activity (like dealing guns or drugs). Now in response to her, women on LHCF are like...'ok, just be careful' or 'you do you girl and have fun doing it.' What kind of shyte is that!! Too often, women support other women who put up with this nonsense.

I'm reading it and thinking...ok...this is wrong on so many levels. First, other women need not support this woman and have her thinking that it is ok to date someone doing such ish. You don't have to condemn the woman but don't rally support for her (and him) either. On LHCF or IRL.

Next, too many women like her are in abundance...dating drug dealers, pimps, etc. and thinking it is cool. No wonder teenage boys think it is some kind of rite of passage to deal or go to jail.... Yes, there are boys out there that are just waiting to go to jail or to carry around a piece because they think it is cool and why....because women trip over themselves for men like this thinking that they are "balling" -- WTF!

Next, there are women who even after ole boy goes to jail, comes out, deals again...they date him and put up with his ish. Why even have someone like that around you? Set a standard in your life that you will not date or befriend men on that level (liars, cheater, drug dealers). Women bend over for no good men knowing they are no good. If we raised our standards for the men around us, then they will improve. No longer will boys want to go to jail.

Same for putting up with men known to disprespect other women by being the other woman or putting up with the man knowing that he has cheated on you (once or repeatedly). Others stay friends with men like this.

I cut men AND women out of my life that are up to no good. I don't need their wayward ways to come into my spirit or to influence my environment. I'm not perfect, but I am all about uplifting other people and not disrespecting them. The standards I maintain for me, I also maintain for the other men and women in my life. I will even try to help them maintain that own standard for themselves (with job, relationships, faith, etc.) and I expect them to do the same for me.

SAY IT!!!!!

 

[locabouthair]

I agree with Sea and Muse on a lot of their points.

However, I am 100% behind Muse when it comes to women taking responsibility for their share of the blame when it comes to Black Men. I'm not talking about just mothers. I'm talking about women who accept men into their lives that are substandard. Men who lie, cheat, steal, sell drugs, etc...in other words, men who live their lives below the standards that the women around them keep for themselves. I mean...take LHCF for example.... in another thread a girl posted about how she is dating some "baller"..(FYI, doing any kind of illegal activity that is poisioning our neighborhoods and that risks jail time and a bullet to the head does not make one a "baller"). ..my understanding of her comments is that he is involved in some sort of illegal and dangerous activity (like dealing guns or drugs). Now in response to her, women on LHCF are like...'ok, just be careful' or 'you do you girl and have fun doing it.' What kind of shyte is that!! Too often, women support other women who put up with this nonsense.

I'm reading it and thinking...ok...this is wrong on so many levels. First, other women need not support this woman and have her thinking that it is ok to date someone doing such ish. You don't have to condemn the woman but don't rally support for her (and him) either. On LHCF or IRL.

Next, too many women like her are in abundance...dating drug dealers, pimps, etc. and thinking it is cool. No wonder teenage boys think it is some kind of rite of passage to deal or go to jail.... Yes, there are boys out there that are just waiting to go to jail or to carry around a piece because they think it is cool and why....because women trip over themselves for men like this thinking that they are "balling" -- WTF!

Next, there are women who even after ole boy goes to jail, comes out, deals again...they date him and put up with his ish. Why even have someone like that around you? Set a standard in your life that you will not date or befriend men on that level (liars, cheater, drug dealers). Women bend over for no good men knowing they are no good. If we raised our standards for the men around us, then they will improve. No longer will boys want to go to jail.

Same for putting up with men known to disprespect other women by being the other woman or putting up with the man knowing that he has cheated on you (once or repeatedly). Others stay friends with men like this.

I cut men AND women out of my life that are up to no good. I don't need their wayward ways to come into my spirit or to influence my environment. I'm not perfect, but I am all about uplifting other people and not disrespecting them. The standards I maintain for me, I also maintain for the other men and women in my life. I will even try to help them maintain that own standard for themselves (with job, relationships, faith, etc.) and I expect them to do the same for me.

this post is on point.

as for me, i used to feel like something was wrong with black men and i was going to start dating outside of my race but now I dont look at it like that. there are bad men in ever race. i havent given up on black men, ive given up on relationships in general im too tired to deal with, i really think i'll end up alone.

 

[ambergirl]

....

 

[cocoberry10]

Anybody who thinks they're giving up on Black men and consequently date exclusively outside of the race as a way to run away from black manhood is in for a rude awakening. What happens when you start having children?

I am raising a bi-racial boy, but bi-racial is a technical term and most people don't concern themselves with technicalities. He will be considered black by the society at large, so I am raising a black boy. How can I give up on black men?

I am careful about what he reads, what shows he watches, and what music he listens too. I try to expose him to as many positive black figures as I can. I push him to be his best. I give him love and I keep my fingers crossed.

I totally agree with you!

I think the media portrays our men in the most negative light by putting the most ignorant buffoons on tv.

Everytime one Black man acts up, I always meet or communicate with a good one. Whether it be my father, family friends, or my guy friends. There are good and bad in every race. And even some of the "bad" ones are just confused and struggling, trying to be better.

Yeah, sometimes Black men frustrate me, but don't give up on them. It doesn't mean you can't date outside your race or have non-black friends, if that's what you choose to do. But take each Black man as an individual. And even if you find 50 bad apples and 5 good, you still found some good!

 

[cocoberry10]

Pretty much.

Why? I'm still reading through the thread, but if you didn't answer, please do.

Sorry to drudge up an old "dead" thread, but I missed this one somehow!