when do you STOP using protection???

when "DO YOU" give up the condoms, or other PROTECTION

  • NEVER... even when I'm married

    Votes: 20 10.9%

  • THE DAY I GET MARRIED

    Votes: 81 44.3%

  • ANYTIME I am IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP

    Votes: 32 17.5%

  • Whenever I FALL IN LOVE

    Votes: 3 1.6%

  • Whenever i feel I've met my soulmate

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • I rarely use condoms

    Votes: 3 1.6%

  • as soon as I'm engaged to marry

    Votes: 4 2.2%

  • I DON'T FEEL I HAVE TO as long as my PARTNER & I gets checked

    Votes: 13 7.1%

  • I DON'T USE THEM if I feel I can trust my partner

    Votes: 27 14.8%
  • Total voters
    183
  • Poll closed .
Imani said:
I also replied in the similar thread. My last bf, we were best friends before we dated, someone I'd trust with my life, and had both been tested. So we didn't use them when we started dating and sleeping together. When I say both been tested, we were physically together at the clinic, not he just told me he did.

We just broke up and its going to take ALOT for me to do that with someone else.
Click to expand...
what about before him....i know sometimes old flames try to come back into your life when they hear the words "BROKE-UP":wallbash::wallbash:
 
I can only imagine the STD rates among college aged people (maybe I should google it). I want to see when I get married but if I'm in a committed relationship and can get tested regularly then that's when I'll stop. Also if the man can have the the last bit of respect to use a condom if he does cheat then I can have some piece of mind. I mean nobody wants to think about cheating while in a relationship but if the man I should feel that he's responsible enough. Idk I'm confusing myself I hope I got my point across.
 
Back when I was younger, I was on birth control. I didn't start using condoms with my boyfriend until we moved up to DC for college.

Now that I'm older I see how foolish that was. I've always been a cheater in my past, so I don't trust anyone 100%. It doesn't matter how in love I feel, I'm not taking the risks that come with unprotected sex until I get married.

Raw sex is only for married people!
 
nikolite said:
.

If you are talking about protection against STD's, then I'm not sure why someone would be in a relationship anyway with a person they think might bring home STD's. Honestly, that's something that falls in the realm of trust for me. I don't think my hubby would every bring that home, because I trust him, so I don't plan on second guessing that for the rest of my life because he might decide to cheat one day. So, IMO, in a trusting committed monogamous relationship I don't think anyone should be using condoms for more than the control of pregnancy, or else it just seems weird to me. But to each their own.
Click to expand...

This is my favorite response...love it...especially applied to marriage...moreso than a "committed" relationship.
 
We used protection until we were married then that fell by the waste side and we started our famly. But we still get check regularly and nothing better pop up or i am gonna pop off.
 
So would you all say your boyfriend for instance didn't use protection a couple of times that that means he trust you and wants to have a baby?

I know what we women think, I am just wondering what do men think about protection? Someone ask their DH. LOL
 
If I'm in a committed relationship and we have both been tested...I don't necessarily have to be married. But when me and my so do get married it will be the same. I'm on BC so pregnancy is not an issue.
 
Well, I'm a Christian so I don't believe in having sex before marriage BUT I answered the second choice but I don't think that was the write answer. "The Day I Get Married" presupposes that I would have been having sex prior and not using protection. But anyhow, if I'm married and don't want children I would be on some type of pill, no condom of course and then off the pill when I didn't want to have children.
 
A better question would b whn do I start! lol just kidding well kinda me and dh used condoms lik the first 2 times we had sex and then never again. I've had unprotected sex with a few other men too and I'm not sure y, it just kinda happend. I guess God is real cause I should have contracted something back thn.
 
These days, there is too much game and too many diseases that are much worse than an unplanned pregnancy. Too many men on the DL and what not. So for me, even if we are engaged, we will use condoms unless there has been a clean STD test with HIV included. I'm sorry, but I need to be here and healthy for my daughter, and I will not let the coaxing wiles of a man cause me to get something I can't get rid of. Birth control indefinitely until I am married and we want a baby. Condoms indefinitely until he agrees to go get tested and I see clean results. :look:

ETA: I didn't vote...my option would be: When I'm married, he has been tested, we have regular testing, and we want a baby. Otherwise, I would stay on BC but may not use physical protection all the time (i.e. condom). These days, married and elderly people are turning up with HIV, so marriage is not an end-all to protecting yourself against STD's. Some people think, "Oh when we married, we can just let it all hang out." If you do so, then make sure dude is monogamous...and that checking up on men thing is a full-time job. :lol:
 
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I have never used hormonal birth control of any kind and I never will. Condoms only for me until marriage.

When I marry I will use Natural Family Planning or the Rhythm Method.
 
Before I used to think until marriage, but now I'm so scared about STDs that it will only be once I'm ready to get pregnant. I would never marry someone I didn't trust, but people are people. The one time ooops' are real and they can happen to anyone. Even people with the best of intentions. And I'm not willing to die for anyone else's human-ness.
 
The only time protection will not be used is when we're making a baby. I'm not on BC because of side effects (and I've tried many) and I'm not a fan of the pull out and make a mess strategy. SO feels that protection should be temporary as in once you're committed you shouldn't have to but I know he's cheated on an ex in the past and I know my track record so it's just leaving too much to chance.

Another guy I dated briefly has kids in 2 different states and told me stories about other chicks he's gotten pregnant that either miscarried or aborted. He may or may not have an STD but he's definitely out there unprotected. Too much for me!

It's not that I'm worried about my current SO cheating/being unfaithful. Some STDs can go unnoticed. I use and will continue to use protection because it's more about being responsible and taking care of each other beforehand and that's the bottom line for me.

BTW...try Lifestyle's Skyn condoms. Close to nothing at all ;-)
 
are you surprised about the HIV rates within the African American community as well?

or the are you surprised about the FAST GROWING DEMOGRAPHIC OF HIV INFECTIONS WITHIN THE UNITED STATES?

or are you surprised noone seriously discusses this topic with younger women until it's too late?

or are you surprised at how uneducated the public has become on this area? what substances (both natural & non) that can break down the protective barrier of many contraceptives?

please never allow someone else to silence this discussion in you families and relationships you guys.........

if you are still surprised please go volunteer at your nearest health department or stfu
 
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CurlyMoo said:
Great thread
Click to expand...


thanks MOO, god bless sis

because I almost died listening to young girls who were NEWLY infected describe the reasons they did not use or ...why they chose not to insist their partner uses protection

never let another self-absorbed fish silence you........ this topic can never ever be approached enough within our communities, within our families, within our homes, amongst our friends

the stats speak for themselves
 
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has ANYONE ever done any work/researched/volunteered within an STD clinic? AIDS clinic? hospital L&D (ages of delivering moms)? delivered or worked with infected babies?

has anyone ever WORKED/TAUGHT/RESEARCHED the current teen pregnancy rates within our communities??? then did a cross analysis of the number of STD's PREVIOUSLY CONTRACTED by the time of first birth?

multigravida vs. parity even? the reasons why?
 
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Oh, Lawd! Be bless!

Seriously, it's a good question because there are some people who might not have any idea that other people don't just stop using protection at a certain point and vice versa. It's informal education. I'm single and celibate so my answer isn't applicable.
 
Goldenprincess said:
Oh, Lawd! Be bless!

Seriously, it's a good question because there are some people who might not have any idea that other people don't just stop using protection at a certain point and vice versa. It's informal education. I'm single and celibate so my answer isn't applicable.
Click to expand...

single and celibate is the best time to answer!!! trust me... I'm single and celibate as well

I guess the question was intended more of WHAT ARE YOUR LIFE'S PRACTICES... self reflection

but you are quite correct... the last time this thought process should come up for anyone is when the moment hits...:nono::nono::nono:

but it was posed initially with very young women, but altho' the stats are higher with one group, it affects all

primarily we are involved in what we feel are monogamous relationships

but this was simply about self reflection... one's own practices, and actions

most people put the protection down in RELATIONSHIPS... not as swinging singles!:spinning:.... heyyyelll they protect themselves most
 
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ThENApPYhAiRpRoJEcT said:
heaux sit down.......:ohwell: your participation was not needed or solicited

speak ONLY when spoken to
Click to expand...

My jaw literrally dropped:blush:

Dang...ya'll gangsta round here:look:


To answer the question: Me and my Lelo don't use protection. I'm the only one using him and he's sterile so no risk of pregnancy.

If you ain't got a Lelo..you might wanna hit up amazon and get one for those of you going thru a drought like me.
 
kweenameena said:
To answer the question: Me and my Lelo don't use protection. I'm the only one using him and he's sterile so no risk of pregnancy.

If you ain't got a Lelo..you might wanna hit up amazon and get one for those of you going thru a drought like me.
Click to expand...
I did a search for Lelo and that is nice.
 
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