Is Sex Really All That Important? (Yes I'm Serious)

[Shimmie]

Don't tell..........pleeease don't tell.

 

[Windsy]

If you asked me this at 18, my answer would have been YES are you crazy?

If you asked me this at 21, my answer would have been Dah! - of course.

If you asked me this at 25, my answer would have been Not Really.

Since you asked me this at 34, my answer is no not at all. I have learned that there is so much more that you can do with a person that sex doesn't even comes close to enjoyment and fullfilment (sp?). I tried the celebacy for a year just to prove that I could accomplish that. It was wonderful and that is when I learned to love myself; since then, I have became more passionate and affectionate.

 

[Shimmie]

If you asked me this at 18, my answer would have been YES are you crazy?

If you asked me this at 21, my answer would have been Dah! - of course.

If you asked me this at 25, my answer would have been Not Really.

Since you asked me this at 34, my answer is no not at all.

I have learned that there is so much more that you can do with a person that sex doesn't even comes close to enjoyment and fullfilment (sp?).

I tried the celebacy for a year just to prove that I could accomplish that. It was wonderful and that is when I learned to love myself; since then, I have became more passionate and affectionate.

Beautiful answer.... .

 

[Naturallong81]

First of all if your on a spiritual journey more power to you i respect that.
In a relationship its important to me because i'm a sexual person, and i enjoy it. Can i live without it forget probably not but i can last i dont need it to breathe. i'm not like samantha(sex in the city) i dont need to pick up a guy if i cant sleep. that being said if your a responsible adult then do what makes u hapy

 

[sky_blu]

Yes, I think sex is important in a relationship but its not the most important. I was also celibate until sometime this year and I can go without it for awhile. But like a can of Pringles, once you start its hard for you to stop. I think Im going to try celibacy again and stick with it. I have more to say but I dont feel like expanding right now.

 

[Poohbear]

Yes, I think sex is important in a relationship but its not the most important. I was also celibate until sometime this year and I can go without it for awhile. But like a can of Pringles, once you start its hard for you to stop. I think Im going to try celibacy again and stick with it. I have more to say but I dont feel like expanding right now.

With God's help, you can stop. Seek God and He will truly bless you. I hope you are successful with your next attempt at celibacy.

 

[SkinnyMocah]

As a virgin I have come to realize that sex is VERY important but it's taken for granted far too much. Used as a bargaining tool too much. Used to measure like or love far too much. The definition of what sex is supposed to mean to us is so skewed that it seems to be as meaningless as... I dunno... something trite and inconsequential. These days men practically want to have sex before they know your name, let alone have feelings for you. I get depressed when i think about meeting a man who doesn't want to hop right into bed so he can decide if he likes me or not. It makes me think sex isn't important but at the core o my being , I know it is. WHO it's being performed WITH is important too.

 

[Shimmie]

As a virgin I have come to realize that sex is VERY important but it's taken for granted far too much. Used as a bargaining tool too much. Used to measure like or love far too much. The definition of what sex is supposed to mean to us is so skewed that it seems to be as meaningless as... I dunno... something trite and inconsequential. These days men practically want to have sex before they know your name, let alone have feelings for you. I get depressed when i think about meeting a man who doesn't want to hop right into bed so he can decide if he likes me or not. It makes me think sex isn't important but at the core o my being , I know it is. WHO it's being performed WITH is important too.

Your husband has a beautiful gift which awaits him. When he comes, you will be the light of his life. "You waited...for him."

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

Intimacy between my husband and I is very important...but when I was single, to me it was simply an act that I enjoyed..probably too much...However, I love sex and now that I am "allowed" to do it, so to speak...yeah its even better

 

[Shimmie]

First of all if your on a spiritual journey more power to you i respect that.
In a relationship its important to me because i'm a sexual person, and i enjoy it. Can i live without it forget probably not but i can last i dont need it to breathe. i'm not like samantha(sex in the city) i dont need to pick up a guy if i cant sleep. that being said if your a responsible adult then do what makes u hapy

You have far more class than anyone on Sex in the City. (I've only seen the show once, which was more than enough for me .

Thank you for sharing your heart. This I pray for you..."Better." :blowkiss:

 

[Shimmie]

Intimacy between my husband and I is very important...but when I was single, to me it was simply an act that I enjoyed..probably too much...However, I love sex and now that I am "allowed" to do it, so to speak...yeah its even better

I'm so glad that you are freely 'allowed' .
Eternal love and Intimacy is my prayer for you and your husband.

 

[Dogmd]

Sex between by husband and myself is very important. I have to make it a priority instead of taking it for granted sometimes because I get so busy with work and life and the children. He expressed his feelings to me 15 years ago when we first got married that sex was very important to him. I have respected this committment. Side note: After 2 pelvic surgeries, my feelings about sex just aren't the same as they were prior to surgery...I could basically care less about sex, but I know that it is important for us as a couple, so I make the best of it!


**wishing someone could repair my pelvic nerves during the next c-section **

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

i dont have any experience but i will say that i think to most people it is. because when i tell people im abstinent or that i want to wait, they look at me like i have three breasts and then imply/say that no man will stay with a girl without getting any. so that leads me to believe that is a high priority for both women and men.

This is the same lie I was told before I met my husband.

 

[Blossssom]

If you have a penis it is

 

[SkinnyMocah]

This is the same lie I was told before I met my husband.

Same as me. And even worse I have experienced it. The second he finds out I'm a virgin, I'm breathing his dust as he hits the road. I've been on christian dating sites and had men send me messages and tell me they're looking for someone to date so they can have sex. So when I ask them if they believe that sex outside of marriage is a sin they say 'yeah but God is just gonna have to forgive me, I can't live without it'.

I sure would love to believe these optimistic stories but I think they're the exception and not the rule.

 

[Shimmie]

Same as me. And even worse I have experienced it. The second he finds out I'm a virgin, I'm breathing his dust as he hits the road. I've been on christian dating sites and had men send me messages and tell me they're looking for someone to date so they can have sex. So when I ask them if they believe that sex outside of marriage is a sin they say 'yeah but God is just gonna have to forgive me, I can't live without it'.

I sure would love to believe these optimistic stories but I think they're the exception and not the rule.

Angel, these men were/are not Chrisitians. They are wolves in sheep's clothing. Don't you know that the most desireable place for a wolf to 'play' sheep games is amidst the sheep community? This is satan's strategy in all areas of life. he is out to capture, deceive, and destroy. he doesn't care who he choses to hurt.

Church and Christian dating sites are the most favorite targets of satan. The 'fruit' is ripe, untouched, unchallenged. It's a 'trophy' for him to add another child of God to his list of conquests.

AND remember this. It's not so much 'you' that satan is out to get...it's to humiliate God. The one and only God whom satan tried his best to dethrone and failed in utter shame and disgrace. his only recourse is retaliating by attacking us.

Yessssssssss! I know that men have 'free will' and that satan can't make nobody do nothing. HOWEVER, satan does have influence which he can only activate through a human being. Sadly, he has his 'willing' accomplists.

Bottomline...there are REAL men out there, Christian and non-Christian. And they are NOT the exception to the rule. The good outweighs the bad. There are more Men who will always respect a woman's virture and love her all the more for waiting until marriage. AND yes...I've met them...many of them.

:blowkiss:

 

[cocoberry10]

Bottomline...there are REAL men out there, Christian and non-Christian. And they are NOT the exception to the rule. The good outweighs the bad. There are more Men who will always respect a woman's virture and love her all the more for waiting until marriage. AND yes...I've met them...many of them.
:blowkiss:

Introduce me Shimmie!

 

[Shimmie]

Introduce me Shimmie!

My son is one and so is my son-in-law. I'll have another baby son and in 20 years he'll be all yours...

J/K... But truly Coco, they are here. And they are for real. I'll ask 'Daddie' to bring you a couple for you to choose from. Okay?

​

 

[cocoberry10]

My son is one and so is my son-in-law. I'll have another baby son and in 20 years he'll be all yours...

J/K... But truly Coco, they are here. And they are for real. I'll ask 'Daddie' to bring you a couple for you to choose from. Okay?

​

Thank you so much!

 

[Shimmie]

Thank you so much!

No problem...it's a piece of cake.

 

[Monilove122]

Shimmie you have been celibate for as long as I have been on this Earth. Is sex important to me? Yes
Is it as important as society makes it seem? No

I feel that people glamorize sex too much in this society. Sex is great especially when it is with someone you love. I think some people just do it like it is eating a meal or something I guess everyone has their own thing but I don't think sex is as important as other people make it seem. Am I glad that God gave us this gift...YES

I am also unhappy at how crazy people get with it and how people lose control over it, it really is not that serious

No need to type anything. My sentiments EXACTLY!!!

 

[january noir]

Sex is an important part of a life, but it's not everything. "Making love" is more important to me. I have had sex and made love. Big difference. Both are important and should be enjoyable to those that give and receive.

For example, if my husband or LP (life partner) and I enjoyed a good sex life together and then an illness or other issue prevented us from having sex again, would I stop making love to him? No. "Sex" would end, but other gestures and acts of "lovemaking" should continue. You make love to the mind as well as the spirit.

No, NOT Really All That Important, but if you have a great sex life, enjoy it! I do enjoy sex very much, but if I had to live without it, then I would.

 

[Shimmie]

Sex is an important part of a life, but it's not everything. "Making love" is more important to me. I have had sex and made love. Big difference. Both are important and should be enjoyable to those that give and receive.

For example, if my husband or LP (life partner) and I enjoyed a good sex life together and then an illness or other issue prevented us from having sex again, would I stop making love to him? No. "Sex" would end, but other gestures and acts of "lovemaking" should continue. You make love to the mind as well as the spirit.

No, NOT Really All That Important, but if you have a great sex life, enjoy it! I do enjoy sex very much, but if I had to live without it, then I would.

A beautiful commitment to love..."in spite of any circumstance". His 'Evening Snow' which shimmers in the night eluding the darkness.

 

[Shimmie]

The more I read this thread, the more I learn. Sex is not a pass time activity; neither is it to be taken for granted. There is A price attached to it...a high one.

The question is, "What Price" is worth saving one of the most beautiful PRINCIPLES of love between a man and a woman?

What Price? Whatever it takes to protect it.

 

[amina kamal]

Yes, to me, Sex is important. Number one, it is a natural physical drive for procreation, so we cannot deny the fact that we have these feelings. I definitely think that sex drive differs in different women. Me, although I have a high sex drive I do abstain from time to time and I have gotten much better at it over the years.

Sex helps bond people however it should NOT be the sole source for the common ground of a relationship. I feel like people should wait in order to bond in other areas of compatitibility before taking a relationship to a sexual level. If not, you get two incompatible people who are together just for the sex. Believe me I have been there, and the sex was great, when I wasn't having sex I was arguing and fighting.

I have been dating my current boyfriend now, for a couple of months and we have not had sex yet. He is 12 years older and very respectable and patient. I think the relationship is having more of a chance to blossom as a result. We talk more and spend time really getting to know each other before allowing sex to muddy the waters.

 

[Shardonay11]

Sex is inportant in a relationship, if the sex is not good in marriage it's bound to cause problems. Communication is the main ingredient for good sex. I could not image my life completely sexless. I am a married woman, and probably have gotton to use to it.

 

[MJ]

I tried that path in college and it was not for me many of my friends did this but I'm not able to separate sex and feelings, I have to have a relationship with someone AND have feelings to have sex with them, call me old school but that's just me. Guys like to say "oh let's just be friends" which is code for "I want to sleep with you, not be committed to you, you don't sleep with anyone else but I am"

Now if you can handle it, and are really cool with it, then fine, but look at your reasons for doing it. don't do it in hopes that the person will eventually want more from you b/c probaby they won't. You both have to start off on the same page.
Sometimes people that will accept a casual sexual fling only either don't feel they are worthy enough to attract or demand a committed relationship or have intimacy issues, or also may have been hurt in the past. Either way just evaluate why you think this might be acceptable.

I feel the same.

 

[**Glamourlicious**]

Sex is important to me because it is an emotional act. It is not just about getting off with me. I am learning how important it is as we speak...erplexed

 

[Shimmie]

Wonderful answers have been shared by each of you. It's obvious that sex is not a game to everyone here. It is taken quite seriously.

I wonder why Hollywood doesn't get this?

 

[harrison]

Sex is interesting because its very emotional very physical and can effect so many things on different levels... so it is something not to take lightly.
Sex is different to me from a single angle and also from the married angle.

There is an undoubted strong emotional attachment to sex with my husband, and we have that because of the bond we have on other levels.
And to be honest I wouldn't trade that.