Was I in the Wrong?

[naturalmanenyc]

serendipity

I missed this part. Oh hell no!! If you want to talk about tests, this is mine.

DH still opens all doors and helps me with my coat. I know the doorman (or woman as the case may be) at our apartment complex must think it's funny but if DH is with me I NEVER touch doors (2 doors at our entrance). He opens the car door too although we do have the key fobs where you can just unlock the doors. If I am touching a door it will be because DH is carrying heavy something and I'm holding the door so he won't drop/break/spill it.

He may be a decent guy but he is not for you. He still needs some home training.

One more tidbit-he also complained to our mutual friend that I waited for him to open the door to the restaurant before we walked in. Strange huh.

 

[Zaynab]

Men who are hypersensitive to a woman's level of princess-ness tend to have problems with and deep rooted hatred towards women in general.

Women who think being "spoilt" is a form of entitlement tend to take anything they get from men, regardless of how mediocre, and mostly live by the "a piece of a man is better then no man" type of mentality.

YES. YES. YES.

It's mind boggling that in 2013 men are balking at paying for dates. Is this a common trend??!

 

[londontresses]

serendipity Was this Nandos? Girl no you were not wrong! He's too grown for that kinda date. I have my loyalty card but that's a place where u and your man go to grab a bite. Not dating. And knowing he could afford better, I'd leave it.

 

[crlsweetie912]

As I have stated before, I don't do the fake grab for the wallet or any other indicators that I am going to pay for a single thing on a date. Heck Nah. Now, once we are in a relationship, I love to shower my man with gifts, trinkets, some tail and so forth, but so far as dates, he will ALWAYS pay, unless it is his birthday.

Heck, the man I was engaged too in 2011, didn't even want me to pay for dinner on HIS BIRTHDAY. He let me pay, but I found money in the side slot of my purse the next day. I did not see him put in in there.

Since Valentine's day, the man who has been courting me daily has spent plenty o money on me and insisted on purchasing a whole bottle of wine at dinner last night even though I only wanted a glass. He told me that I never know. Well he was correct because I nearly drank the whole dang bottle.

I love how you slid that in there!
Naw, second date, and he didn't even really take u anywhere but to some taco joint and a movie...naw.....
I usually offer somewhere around the 4th date...but ain't no way I'm chipping in on the first or second date...dang.

 

[crlsweetie912]

YES. YES. YES.

It's mind boggling that in 2013 men are balking at paying for dates. Is this a common trend??!

Zaynab

 

[Zaynab]

@Zaynab

IHATECHU I love this gif

 

[crlsweetie912]

IHATECHU I love this gif

I had to do it!
But yes! Dudes be tripping about paying for dates. I had this one dude that was sweating me HARD...I gotta see you we gotta go out.....this negro wanted me to meet him in a MALL PARKING LOT! WTF!
I'm not getting up out of my warm house to go chill in a parking lot....then this fool says, well I will just contact you when I get my money together.....Uh, how about NOT!!!!!!!.....
I blocked his *** with a quickness.......

 

[ladylibra_30]

^^^What a fool! LOL

 

[Zaynab]

I had to do it!
But yes! Dudes be tripping about paying for dates. I had this one dude that was sweating me HARD...I gotta see you we gotta go out.....this negro wanted me to meet him in a MALL PARKING LOT! WTF!
I'm not getting up out of my warm house to go chill in a parking lot....then this fool says, well I will just contact you when I get my money together.....Uh, how about NOT!!!!!!!.....
I blocked his *** with a quickness.......

OMG what? That's like high school

 

[serendipity]

serendipity Was this Nandos? Girl no you were not wrong! He's too grown for that kinda date. I have my loyalty card but that's a place where u and your man go to grab a bite. Not dating. And knowing he could afford better, I'd leave it.

londontresses.Yep-Nandos it was lol. I was peeved that he even suggested there in the first instance and then to expect me to pay

 

[Curly1908]

This actually is a trend on male internet forums. I stumbled upon a thread where they were discussing how they felt women were "spoiled princesses", and they advocated not paying for dates, not acting like a gentleman, not waiting for sex, etc. - all in an attempt to avoid being a "simp".

You were right not to fall for that ish, but you kinda need to be smacked for going to a fast food place with that idiot. You deserve better.

 

[serendipity]

Another thought-As silly as it may sound, do you think race could be a factor here? This guy is white which I didn't think was relevant at all but my bff suggested that if I want to be 'treated', I should stick to black men as white men are less chivalrous and tend to believe in 'equality' more. I refuted this because I've dated generous white men and less than generous black men before. I believe this behaviour is based on the individual rather than race/ethnicity.

 

[MzLady78]

Another thought-As silly as it may sound, do you think race could be a factor here? This guy is white which I didn't think was relevant at all but my bff suggested that if I want to be 'treated', I should stick to black men as white men are less chivalrous and tend to believe in 'equality' more. I refuted this because I've dated generous white men and less than generous black men before. I believe this behaviour is based on the individual rather than race/ethnicity.

Lies and fallacies....

 

[hopeful]

serendipity
I agree that it's based on individual behavior. Chivalrous men come in all colors as do jerks. I think some women (all races) being so desperate acting and man-chasing has encouraged some men to be lazy, and now some men act like they want to be courted and woo'd. I find men like that to be very unattractive. Just stick to your expectations, they are not unreasonable. A man who asks you out should pay for the dates, he should open your door, etc., to me that's just very basic gentleman-like behavior.

 

[MzLady78]

@serendipity
I agree that it's based on individual behavior. Chivalrous men come in all colors as do jerks. I think some women (all races) being so desperate acting and man-chasing has encouraged some men to be lazy, and now some men act like they want to be courted and woo'd. I find men like that to be very unattractive. Just stick to your expectations, they are not unreasonable. A man who asks you out should pay for the dates, he should open your door, etc., to me that's just very basic gentleman-like behavior.

Exactly. It's crazy to me that people still don't get this.

OP, I'm seriously side-eying your friends right now.