What Do These Color Threads Say About the Marriage Rate of Black Women

[chica_canella]

Really? Tracy Edmonds?

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that any woman perceived as attractive by the masses gets a pass.

Ok, so that is how it goes. If you are attractive you get a pass. There are alot of cute girls from the hood-why shouldn't they get a pass?

Just wondering how we come up with who gets a pass and who doesn't. Do they have to come from a certain neighborhood or background?

 

[chica_canella]

Why are the women you referenced "socially perceived to be of a lower-status?"

Well, I never read of Tracy Edmonds doing anything "big" before she married Baby Face.

Tigers' wife is a so-called model. Find that very hard to believe.

And Vanessa was in high school when she met Kobie. I think she was a cheer leader or dancer for the team.

To many people, they married up.

 

[JamericanGurl]

I know most likely you are older than me so maybe my view of black women is more....rosier. But for some reason, I've always seen it as the exact opposite of the bolded post above.

I don't know of any of the women you are speaking about. I really can't relate to that.

I am older than you ***cough** And I truly worry about younger women. You may not know any, but they exist.

There expectations of a mate is really high....But there expectation of themselves seem to be a bit lower.

When I speak in terms successful man...I'm not looking at athletes and rappers. I'm talking college educated successful man...Very rarely do I see him with Shay Shay and her Rainbow Weave. Most of the women he dates are on his level on on their way.

 

[PrincessScorpion]

Girl please white women have the same issues. It's more of them so it makes the number that complain seem miniscule. White women have always married down, because they could get away with it. We're the ones who need our mates on an even or better playing field.

Lemme quote a malt liquor commercial and say....Don't let the smooth taste fool you!

Again I'm not advocating that nobody go to the alley and snatch Joe Joe the Crack Head up and clean him up and marry him. I just find it curious at best that so many woman want so much out of a man and they don't have a damn thing going for themselves.

I want you to leave the malt liquor alone.

 

[JamericanGurl]

Well, I never read of Tracy Edmonds doing anything "big" before she married Baby Face.

Tigers' wife is a so-called model. Find that very hard to believe.

And Vanessa was in high school when she met Kobie. I think she was a cheer leader or dancer for the team.

To many people, they married up.

Tracy Edmonds went to Stanford and Tiger Woods wife Elin was a college student....What's bad about that? Elin did do some modeling.

I misunderstood you because I thought your were saying they married down? wait you were saying that...But to me they didn't marry down...Especially in Kobe's case.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I have to say I am quite shocked at the number of people who didn't know what 'OLD E' is.

I'm going to be real with my hypocrisy - I'm fat as hell, but I ain't looking at an E-40/Notorious B.I.G./Fat Joe type of dude like "I want me some of that. "

 

[chica_canella]

Actually Tracy Edmonds is educated. As well as a sucessful producer.

Kobe never made it to college so he and his wife and on the same page...Equally

Tiger's wife isn't a dummy either actually. She was a nanny, but a nanny in college.

Is education all you need to be on the same level as someone else? I think her "looks" had a significance influence on Baby Face's attraction to her. Nothing wrong with that. But let's be real, her education didn't lead her to bring in money like Baby Face in his prime. And I didn't know she produced anything before marrying Baby Face? Perhaps you can enlighten me on this topic?

I believe we are talking about "making it big." Or being successful. It's not just about college or having a degree but being successful. Someone could start their own business and haven't attend a day of college. Why do you think his family was so angry about him marrying her? Because she wasn't on his level.

JG, I'm not saying that they aren't on his level because they aren't smart, or don't have a college degree. I believe HG is talking about the successful aspect of relationships. "Have you been as successful in life as I have" type aspects.

Those examples were just a few off the top-of-my-head but as you all know there are many more examples.

 

[shynessqueen]

Yeah, so my friend and I talked about this. She said she would tell him what she wouldn't accept and just be "kewl" from a distance. But she won't wait around for him.

Check this out. On their first date, he made her pay for 1/3 of the bill.

I wasn't going to wait around a year for him to change. He started to take baby steps but he was taking step and that let me know that he wanted to change more for himself then for me. I think he knew he could be a better man but he just needed someone to give him support. To this day he still tells me I'm the only one who truly believes in him and always has his back no matter what.


But I'm not going to say this will always work. I was 17 at the time and he was 20. He was going through a lot at that time and it took me to be strong in order to hold him back at times. I never sugarcoat things with him. I hit him straight to his heart ( his kids).

 

[gmw]

I've always wondered myself when women say:

1. I want an educated brother...but she can't read beyond Dr. Seuss
2. I want a fione man...But she looks like got dammit I'll bite ya!
3. I want a man with a good job...But she is either unemployed or under employed.
4. I want a man with some class...But she often sits on stoops taking Old E to the head.

What gives people the right to desire shyt they themselves don't even possess?

 

[gmw]

Olde English. A popular malt liquor that comes in a 40oz container and is best served in a brown paper bag.

Whewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

 

[chica_canella]

I am older than you ***cough** And I truly worry about younger women. You may not know any, but they exist.

There expectations of a mate is really high....But there expectation of themselves seem to be a bit lower.

When I speak in terms successful man...I'm not looking at athletes and rappers. I'm talking college educated successful man...Very rarely do I see him with Shay Shay and her Rainbow Weave. Most of the women he dates are on his level on on their way.

I understand what you are saying but Shay Shay and her Rainbow Weave most likely doesn't want an educated man. They want a thug with a swagger and to a certain point, I want a man with a certain swagger too. Not a thug, but a mixture of things. Not to uptight.

 

[janiebaby]

I think Tracey Edmonds had her own business when her mom hooked her up with Babyface who in my opinion was a step down for her because he wasn't attractive and I feel the same way about Russell and Kimora. I guess they stepped down so that they can step up and over their exhusbands. But I digress back to the subject at hand

 

[PrincessScorpion]

Well, I never read of Tracy Edmonds doing anything "big" before she married Baby Face.

Tigers' wife is a so-called model. Find that very hard to believe.

And Vanessa was in high school when she met Kobie. I think she was a cheer leader or dancer for the team.

To many people, they married up.

Tigers' wife use to be a nanny for another golfer. That is how he met her.

Tracey a video chick. He was interviewing girls for a video.

 

[JamericanGurl]

Is education all you need to be on the same level as someone else? I think her "looks" had a significance influence on Baby Face's attraction to her. Nothing wrong with that. But let's be real, her education didn't lead her to bring in money like Baby Face in his prime. And I didn't know she produced anything before marrying Baby Face? Perhaps you can enlighten me on this topic?

I believe we are talking about "making it big." Or being successful. It's not just about college or having a degree but being successful. Someone could start their own business and haven't attend a day of college. Why do you think his family was so angry about him marrying her? Because she wasn't on his level.

JG, I'm not saying that they aren't on his level because they aren't smart, or don't have a college degree. I believe HG is talking about the successful aspect of relationships. "Have you been as successful in life as I have" type aspects.

Those examples were just a few off the top-of-my-head but as you all know there are many more examples.

Sure they were eye candy no doubt but Tracey was no slouch. As I recall she was doing real esate with her mom back in Cali and was on her way to med school. Now at some point...Cuz you want the truth...She began auditioning for TV, movies and video. Kenny picked her for a video and she got sick and never did it. They met up later on and then married. He light weight stalked her and then they were married

Your right college don't me everything...but a good mind does

 

[Puddles]

I've always wondered myself when women say:

1. I want an educated brother...but she can't read beyond Dr. Seuss
2. I want a fione man...But she looks like got dammit I'll bite ya!
3. I want a man with a good job...But she is either unemployed or under employed.
4. I want a man with some class...But she often sits on stoops taking Old E to the head.

What gives people the right to desire shyt they themselves don't even possess?

[size=+1]OK.....I'll read on. But you're right JG. [/size]

 

[chica_canella]

Tracy Edmonds went to Stanford and Tiger Woods wife Elin was a college student....What's bad about that? Elin did do some modeling.

I misunderstood you because I thought your were saying they married down? wait you were saying that...But to me they didn't marry down...Especially in Kobe's case.

I just gradutated from college. If I went and married someone like Usher, most people would think I am marrying up.

Why, because in this world, status is placed upon success and I am not successful as he is and haven't seen the world like he has.

If all we are looking at is a college education or a stable job ("Elin did do some modeling"), then we could find a reason why every woman on this board could be on the same level as say, an investment banker.


And, yes I am pretty.

 

[JamericanGurl]

I have to say I am quite shocked at the number of people who didn't know what 'OLD E' is.

I'm going to be real with my hypocrisy - I'm fat as hell, but I ain't looking at an E-40/Notorious B.I.G./Fat Joe type of dude like "I want me some of that. "

I am right there with you...I ain't scurred to say...What two fat people gone spontaneously combust That's two much damn friction

 

[shynessqueen]

I right there with you...I ain't scurred to say...What two fat people gone spontaneously combust That's two much damn friction

You're killing me today.

 

[JamericanGurl]

I just gradutated from college. If I went and married someone like Usher, most people would think I am marrying up.

Why, because in this world, status is placed upon success and I am not successful as he is and haven't seen the world like he has.

If all we are looking at is a college education or a stable job ("Elin did do some modeling"), then we could find a reason why every woman on this board could be on the same level as say, an investment banker.


And, yes I am pretty.

But your not actually getting what I'm saying....Again I think it's unfair to want someone to have what you don't have or instill. I used college educated man and such as examples of what I always hear.

If you married Ursher I'd wonder does he make you wear a strap on to bed and hope you funnel some of that money into carving out something for yourself

 

[chica_canella]

Sure they were eye candy no doubt but Tracey was no slouch. As I recall she was doing real esate with her mom back in Cali and was on her way to med school. Now at some point...Cuz you want the truth...She began auditioning for TV, movies and video. Kenny picked her for a video and she got sick and never did it. They met up later on and then married. He light weight stalked her and then they were married

Your right college don't me everything...but a good mind does

I never said she was a slouch, but she wasn't as successful as Baby Face.

"on her way to med school." Out of all the women I know, studying for MCATs and one young black women that just finished her 3rd year of med school, I never saw anything deter them from their dreams. Auditioning for TV and movies and going to med school on the side. I think that would be pretty hard. I've heard of people who couldn't work while in law school, which is pretty much around the same level as med school. Though I think med school is probably harder.

What I see is that many times after women who aren't as succesful as the men they marry, are pumped up by a publicist. It seems as if they fabricate on the truth. In fact I know they fabricate on the truth. Why the need to lie? Well, to pump up these women so people won't just refer to them as eye candy. Thinking of all the times, I heard Kim Porter was a super model. I've never seen her walk the runway. Oh, and how about Vivica Fox's ex-husband six-something being a rapper.

Well, thank God she didn't go to med school because someone might be walking around with gause in their neck after surgery.

 

[chica_canella]

But your not actually getting what I'm saying....Again I think it's unfair to want someone to have what you don't have or instill. I used college educated man and such as examples of what I always hear.

If you married Ursher I'd wonder does he make you wear a strap on to bed and hope you funnel some of that money into carving out something for yourself

You almost made me spit out my drink. JG, what are you talking about? Sounds pretty .....naughty.

I can't even respond till I know what you are talking about. you know I love sum Usher.

 

[winterinatl]

Of course you are directing your comments to me, I started the thread. That's fine. I merely wanted to point out that our preferences and the reasons for these preferences both sound and unsound impact our marriage rate. I do think, however, that we should be clear especially in public forums when we say there are no eligible black men that we define eligible in terms of specific criteria such as advanced education and/or high earnings. It appears now in public forums that we are saying there are no black men but we really mean we want more than a decent, hardworking man. There is nothing wrong with high expectations. I agree that women should not settle. I stated that in my post.

There is a comedian that likes to say "What?! There are plenty of black men available! Just go down to the park after dark...they got them laying around everywhere! He's just a fixer upper, that's all"

 

[JamericanGurl]

I never said she was a slouch, but she wasn't as successful as Baby Face.

"on her way to med school." Out of all the women I know, studying for MCATs and one young black women that just finished her 3rd year of med school, I never saw anything deter them from their dreams. Auditioning for TV and movies and going to med school on the side. I think that would be pretty hard. I've heard of people who couldn't work while in law school, which is pretty much around the same level as med school. Though I think med school is probably harder.

What I see is that many times after women who aren't as succesful as the men they marry, are pumped up by a publicist. It seems as if they fabricate on the truth. In fact I know they fabricate on the truth. Why the need to lie? Well, to pump up these women so people won't just refer to them as eye candy. Thinking of all the times, I heard Kim Porter was a super model. I've never seen her walk the runway. Oh, and how about Vivica Fox's ex-husband six-something being a rapper.

Well, thank God she didn't go to med school because someone might be walking around with gause in their neck after surgery.

Tracey wasn't as sucessful as Babyface, but she was on her way.

Now I do have to nod in agreement that everytime a celeb dates or marries an unknown...The person is suddenly connected to the business Kim Porter Optimuim relaxer box model.

 

[Magus484]

I think this issue stems from the fact that women are taught by society that our husbands are supposed to be better than us and that they should be heads of the family. So, women are going to seek men who have higher levels of status, class, education than they do since we are taught that we are supposed to be less than our husbands. So yeah, we will see women looking for men who are "out of their league."

Likewise, men are taught that a beautiful wife will increase their status/ worth/ standing in society, so we see a bunch of busted men who are picky about the physical appearance of a potential mate, and who also have the nerve to critique women on their looks. So yes, we will see men who seek to date women who are "out of their league."

All in all, society/our environment tells us what we should look for in a mate, no matter if we match the requirements or not.

 

[JamericanGurl]

[/b]


You almost made me spit out my drink. JG, what are you talking about? Sounds pretty .....naughty.

I can't even respond till I know what you are talking about. you know I love sum Usher.

If you don't know then your to innocent for me to tell

I find Usher a bit girly that's all!

 

[UmSumayyah]

I have to say I am quite shocked at the number of people who didn't know what 'OLD E' is.

I'm going to be real with my hypocrisy - I'm fat as hell, but I ain't looking at an E-40/Notorious B.I.G./Fat Joe type of dude like "I want me some of that. "

I thought you were on your way to "skinnycoily"-ness?

 

[creolebeauty]

I think this issue stems from the fact that women are taught by society that our husbands are supposed to be better than us and that they should be heads of the family. So, women are going to seek men who have higher levels of status, class, education than they do since we are taught that we are supposed to be less than our husbands. So yeah, we will see women looking for men who are "out of their league."

Likewise, men are taught that a beautiful wife will increase their status/ worth/ standing in society, so we see a bunch of busted men who are picky about the physical appearance of a potential mate, and who also have the nerve to critique women on their looks. So yes, we will see men who seek to date women who are "out of their league."

All in all, society/our environment tells us what we should look for in a mate, no matter if we match the requirements or not.

I agree with you.

 

[chica_canella]

If you don't know then your to innocent for me to tell

I find Usher a bit girly that's all!

Don't you dare.....Karrine Steffans never said any such thing about him and we all know she tells the truth.

I don't think he is gay. Please don't say that.

 

[Connie]

Again I'm not advocating that nobody go to the alley and snatch Joe Joe the Crack Head up and clean him up and marry him. I just find it curious at best that so many woman want so much out of a man and they don't have a damn thing going for themselves.

I never wanted that much from a potential partner, but IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT THEY HAVE A DAMN JOB?!

I'm no college graduate, but I did finish HS, attended Bryant & Stratton for two years, got dual Associate degrees and have been working in the Administrative Assistant (a.k.a. glorified office maid) field all my life, so I'm the last person to be out here refusing to date none other than a Donald Trump.

But while all the other sisters were passing up the brothers because he's a garbage man, postman, manager of McDonalds or drives an ice cream truck, I would've been estatic to find such a guy, because God knows all the potential mates I had DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A F***ING JOB or had one that paid so measly I was paying his way all the time. A brother doesn't have to be making six figures for me to be happy, but unless he's willing to be a damn good house-husband and have MY dinner ready and the house clean and laundry done when I come home from work, he's GOT to have a GOOD-PAYING job!

If that makes my standards too high for some folks, too bad. It's time for someone to pay my way into a movie for a change.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I thought you were on your way to "skinnycoily"-ness?

Girl, I'm driving in that direction, but there's been a couple of temporary detours.