Precious_1 said:
You're welcome, lady. Feel free to PM or vent here if you need to. As you can see, the ladies in this thread have been encouraging and uplifting. Feel better. 
I hurt because I picked this man to be her dad and all he does is hurt her. I secretly wish he stays away. The inconsistency just hurts her more. I kinda cut off his parents. We were never close just a hi/bye type of thing. Very sweet and welcoming peple.They senta card and a check for Christmas with a message to please call. It took me a week to muster up the courage to call and even then only my daughter spoke. I have yet to call her back as she requested. I haven't even deposited the check. 
Thanks for letting me share. I'm not crying anymore. I hope I don't come back and delete this.
s_terry said:Well, although this wasn't a"together" relationship, I feel like a dang fool for falling for the man I built him up to be. Smart, funny, successful albeit a short MF!!! Ladies on this one I can really say that I played myself. After not dating at all for the last couple of years (no sex, no kissing basically very limited male contact) I got caught up. I defined who he was by his outward appearance and accomplishments without first also checking the character. He was alllll I wanted in a man-except for being short ass hell- Yeah right!!!Since it was long distance slept with him too soon. I am too old for this crap!!Yep, no sooner I slept with him he flipped the skript!
We SEEMED to connect on many levels. Now that I look back on it, it seems like he distanced as soon as we hit my home state. The connection we had in other communications was something different entirely once we met face to face again. I can now see his distancing even then. Another emotionally unavailable man. Now this I do need to work on. I know he liked me. What is there not to like?
he sounds like someone I know......where is he from? Lawd
p31woman said:Think of the man that you have broken up with. Is he REALLY the man that you have/had been praying that God to send you? Does he have all the qualities of a man u would not mind submitting to? If not, it should make it a lot easier for u to move on. I know it helped me. I had to constantly remind myself of that when I began to get sad about the man that broke my heart.
HTH!!!
isioma85 said:
That makes it worse for me because he is.
I really need this thread.
MzLady78 said:
Butterfly03 we are so >< on this! You are not alone. My mom told me that my daughters father was no good for me but I didn't listen. What really hurts is that she was right and I hate the day I argued with her about this fool. My mom passed in 2004, so you can imagine the tears I have cried over this. My daughter is 7 and her dad did not even call her for Christmas! If he and I aren't on good terms what does that have to do with her? I too was the one financially stable but I think he was jealous instead of being supportive. He always had a hard time keeping a job and all of his downfalls were because of others(in his mind). I grieve over the time lost, the pain that he took me thru and how stupid I was to ignore the signs but I can say that I have learned my lesson. Looking back on all that we went thru I don't even know what I truly saw in him???buttaflye03 said:I know I'm in trouble because I've been avoiding replying to this thread and just now it took me a long time to even get my fingers on the keyboard.
Some days I'm strong and other times I just feel like crap. Some days I feel beautiful and worthy and others I feel ugly, unwanted, etc. Ugghh! Dammit now I'm crying and I HATE IT! It's harder for me because this is the father of my child. I was with him for 10 years and finally released him from my life August 2005 and I'm still in pain. I don't want him back at all. I feel nothing for him, but I grieve for the time I lost because of him, the blinders that I had on for the majority of the relationship, the hurt he has caused my baby, , and the self doubt that he caused me to have. I wished I would have listened to my mom back then but I am thankful to God that I woke up before I married him. The man proposed to me in front of my whole family but when I found us an apartment all of a sudden he kept making excuses of why he couldn't move in yet. This had happened in the past among other big ass warning signs that this man is just emotionally unavailable. I really believe that he does not possess the skills to be a MAN. Because we are not together, he can't seem to be a father to our child. I haven't received any money from him since'05 and we haven't heard or seen him since last August. Actually last summer, he was trying to be a constant in her life, which I have always welcomed and encouraged. He would come over practically everyday, he painted my whole apartment, and wanted to work on the relationship. Thank God this was a year after our breakup and I had time to analyze our "relationship" because if he did this soon after the breakup he would probably be living up in here with me now. However, I saw him for what he was. I figured whatever he had going on went sour and now he wanted me, the financially stable one, to take him back and provide a roof over his head. Otherwise why would it take him almost a year to try to work things out with me?
He digusts me. Now when I look back, all of the signs were there. I feel so stupid. My daughter has moments when she'll just burst out crying because she misses daddy or we pass by someplace we've been to before, or she's wondering why daddy didn't even send her a card for Christmas?
Most times I feel that I am meant to be alone for the rest tof my life and have come to terms with it. Other times I do want a husband. My family have been encouraging me to go out because I don't. They are ecstatic that I'm going out 2 times this week!
I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life and I truly believe that God moved my daughter's father out of the way so I can receive the man that I deserve.
buttaflye03 said:
I'm applauding you for leaving and being strong enough to move on...and for wanting more your daughter. You'd be surprised how many women stay with men they *know* are no good regardless of the effect it has on their children.
Natasha2005 said:Butterfly03 we are so >< on this! You are not alone. My mom told me that my daughters father was no good for me but I didn't listen. What really hurts is that she was right and I hate the day I argued with her about this fool. My mom passed in 2004, so you can imagine the tears I have cried over this. My daughter is 7 and her dad did not even call her for Christmas! If he and I aren't on good terms what does that have to do with her? I too was the one financially stable but I think he was jealous instead of being supportive. He always had a hard time keeping a job and all of his downfalls were because of others(in his mind). I grieve over the time lost, the pain that he took me thru and how stupid I was to ignore the signs but I can say that I have learned my lesson. Looking back on all that we went thru I don't even know what I truly saw in him???
But life goes on. I have a daughter that needs me and I thank God that I am financially secure to take care of us. It's his loss not mine. I have a precious gift that he helped to create and I simply adore my gift. I love her giggle and hugs!
Thanks Mz. Tami for this thread. I didn't know that I had these feelings all bottled up in me until I began to type.
Now I'm really happy that I responded and that you did too.
isioma85 said:I don't want to cry....but it's hard not to.It just hurts so much.
p31woman said:
sunnydaze said:
sunnydaze said:
You are welcome. Thank you for sharing your story. (((HUGS)))Natasha2005 said:Butterfly03 we are so >< on this! You are not alone. My mom told me that my daughters father was no good for me but I didn't listen. What really hurts is that she was right and I hate the day I argued with her about this fool. My mom passed in 2004, so you can imagine the tears I have cried over this. My daughter is 7 and her dad did not even call her for Christmas! If he and I aren't on good terms what does that have to do with her? I too was the one financially stable but I think he was jealous instead of being supportive. He always had a hard time keeping a job and all of his downfalls were because of others(in his mind). I grieve over the time lost, the pain that he took me thru and how stupid I was to ignore the signs but I can say that I have learned my lesson. Looking back on all that we went thru I don't even know what I truly saw in him???
But life goes on. I have a daughter that needs me and I thank God that I am financially secure to take care of us. It's his loss not mine. I have a precious gift that he helped to create and I simply adore my gift. I love her giggle and hugs!
Thanks Mz. Tami for this thread. I didn't know that I had these feelings all bottled up in me until I began to type.
