this is the difference between a VO and a CO. with a CO, he (or, "hand", whatever) has to be touching you and if they stop for any reason, the orgasm isn't going to happen. it is dependent on the touch. with a VO, it builds up on its own, and shoots off on its own, during sex. i dont think there's any such thing as a "blended" orgasm because if there is clitoral stimulation, then that's where the orgasm comes from. it takes away the possibility of it not being from there. and im saying this based on my own experiences, not reasoned logic. even if penetration is occurring, if it happens in combination with CS, its very obvious that CS is the cause of the orgasm.
i can only have VOs on the bottom in missionary. the way i can make them happen is the guy is basically not moving and staying still in one place, and im the one making all the motion happen. that way i can control how it uh, moves (not the phrase i'd prefer to use). i think it's probably mainly a mental thing that helps it to happen once i feel it start building. i probably can't describe what i'm mentally focusing on without it being too explicit, but you can use your imagination. i focus on literally what is happening, but, you know, in dirtier terms. ive heard a lot of talk to the effect that women can only/prefer to/have an easier time having VOs with the girl on top but that's never happened for me.
its probably the sense of control in addition to actually physically controlling what's happening, because if i start to feel like he's going to go before i do, i start panicking and lose it. getting right there and having it snatched away is the worst, and if i'm worried that's going to happen i can't get there. once i am pushed over, i can usually finish even if the consistency is broken (which it usually is because the muscles tend to erm eject the player from the game) but i have to go over the cliff first. it's rarer that i can do it based on him controlling the movements; that's where being in a relationship and knowing your partner well comes in handy.
im also thinking about the difference between, like, doing it, and readjusting to reach the reupholstery if you see what i mean. this guy who had me sprung
i miss him
why didnt he love me? not even that why couldnt he just tolerate me and keep giving up the d?
he didnt even have to like me
i wouldnt have cared
i did once have a VO without pleasurable contractions though. it was wack and thankfully only happened once. (this was before i ever had a "real" VO.)