ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
Ladies I just have to say that I love this thread (and all others like it). I've recently felt like my "light" was coming on, so maybe I'll be a bit ahead of the curve when the time comes to apply it
Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue
A sistah can't get no reperations? I love him but he seems to be a TRUE 100% bonafide Sag man.
Any advice on how to get a man to start giving you more 'just because' gifts?
So at church last night. The message was from Ephesians 5:25-33 The sermon was His needs, Her Needs
The point of it all is that men just want to be respected and women just want to be loved. When a man is respected he KNOWS that he is loved. When a woman is loved she gives respect freely.
Defining those two things makes for a functional successful marriage. Respect involves letting him have the final say, not cutting him off or cutting down his ideas, if he says that he doesn't want you do do certain things(within reason, of course, I'm not talking about tyrant type stuff, but things like... don't go to the ATM at night alone, don't fill your tank up during the hottest part of the day, etc.) then respect him as your king and listen.
Love for most of us women involves hearing it, being hugged and kissed, getting those little "just because" gifts, taking care of us and our needs. and I'm sure everyone here could add a lot
I plan to ask my pastor this, but I thought I'd ask you all this:
What if respect and love aren't being reciprocated yet? What if it is a new couple just learning one another? What if it is an old couple who have just fallen off? How do we as women begin to reestablish these things? As I was sitting there I was nearly moved to tears because I KNOW I don't fully respect DH in that way. I told DH that there are certain areas I struggle with respecting him in. I also told him that there are things that he could do to let me know that he truly loved me(long story short--single ladies, enjoy singledom, and engaged ladies--GET SOME PREMARRITAL ADVICE?COUNSEL?SOMETHING. Because we didn't and now we are basically starting from scratch)
I believe in the perfect marriage(perfect as in, perfect for those two people coexisting and growing old happily together. . .bump what society says lol)
It took me half my marriage to learn to truly respect DH. I thought I was but I wasn't. I thought I was doing everything I could and I wasn't and I often felt resentful and unloved at times. Once I figured out the above, things fell into place. I definitely understand starting from scratch. I didn't have any premarital counseling either. I was just winging it thinking if I did everything right, it would work. The respect/love quotient is key. It has to come from both sides.
ETA: It was through a similar message at church that I really decided I wasn't respecting him. And thus not getting the love I wanted
you just made me feel all special. )))hugs((( I thought I was some type of extra special that I couldn't grasp that type of respect. What did you. . .How?
I think that more women experience this than we know, most just keep quiet about it and either A)Divorce or B)live married but like two single people and do whatever they want for themselves
so, how can I get DH on the health bandwagon with me. he wont workout and doesn't particularly care for healthy foods.
Does he like any activities? Ball? Walking? Biking? DH is fit, we workout and run together but he's not gonna eat healthy. I don't press it really. You could start slowly like doing a 5K together and even just signing up and walking it together. Usually starting one physical activity spurs people on to try something new
Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue
I read in a book years ago to give them the association of something good with something you want and they will automatically associate the good feeling with doing what you want.
I have no clue how to use sex as a tool.