I always say the best way to get a man to do something is to show him praise and appreciation. Nagging and complaining won't get you anywhere with a man. They do. not. like. to. be. asked twice. If you ask them something, they heard you the first time. They feel like if you keep asking them you're being their "mom" and talking down to them or you don't feel they are "capable". Men are VERY insecure. More than women from what I've found. They are like children
They benefit from positive words. ALso, when they do something or when there is a situation that needs to be handled, always defer to them and say "You always make the best decisions, what do you think is the best move or way to solve__?" It makes them feel needed and/or that they are "handing" something. It's the delivery in which you say it
After you ask or say You always make the best decisions, what do you think about ___. Insert what you want to happen. They will do it because it sounds like it's their idea.
99% of the things I want DH to do, I get him to do by making it seem like it was his idea. I just sweetly insert the suggestion.
Overall though I think if you set a theme of words of respect and appreciation towards a man, you can really get anything you want. As I've said, I learned this the hard way over the years. Continually nagging and complaining will get you nowhere with a man. They are likely to do whatever you asking LESS, so don't keep asking. Instead offer daily praises and appreciation for small things they do. As I say over and over, men give their love when we give them respect. That love encompasses our needs and what we want. Small things like I appreciate how hard you work, I know you work really hard to provide/take care of us/etc. Whatever is he does well, praise him for it. Even if he's lacking in an area, offering praise and appreciation in the form of respect will make him WANT to do the things he's not because he then wants to please and/or improve/continue doing the things that he is or isn't already. Don't ever say they are doing something wrong, like with the kids or anything around the house. I find that most women just won't let a man be a man. Just sit back and relax and defer and a man will take the lead. I think it's almost like some type of "leadership atrophy" that happens when women are too Independent, a man just sits back unconciously like "well she's got it, she's got all the answers so I'm not doing__". I don't think they THINK that really but it's what happens.
Sometimes I just think that being sweet is something that alot of women are lacking. Men just want someone to be sweet and love them and respect them. They are pretty simple. One of my favorite books on how to speak and show a man respect "For Women Only: What You need to know about the inner lives of men" Shaunti Feldman. Men love and give by receiving respect. When they feel respected by us, they will give you all the love and meet all your needs.