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sorry if this is too personal, but I couldn't help wondering... is he good? does he please you?
The best I ever had
So he tells me it's not 'good'
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The best I ever had
Black Ambrosia
Well-Known Member
I hear you loud and clear but honestly speaking... is anyone deriving pleasure out of the act itself? Its not like coloring where you are both getting something out of it. Its done for your SO's enjoyment. Best case scenario is you make him happy and it improves the entire production.
Someone let me know if I'm wrong here. Maybe my crayon licking apparatus is defective...
Bachelorette
New Member
The best I ever had
LOL, I laugh cos that song was just in my head.
Well if that's the case then I guess some things are in order.
Do you like the act is the real question. Do you have any reservations towards it
Bunny77
New Member
I hear you loud and clear but honestly speaking... is anyone deriving pleasure out of the act itself? Its not like coloring where you are both getting something out of it. Its done for your SO's enjoyment. Best case scenario is you make him happy and it improves the entire production.
Someone let me know if I'm wrong here. Maybe my crayon licking apparatus is defective...
LOL... nah, I feel ya! Actually, there are some ladies on the board who will tell you that they derive pleasure from that act... just watching their man's face and all...
I guess if we switch things around (hope you're following me here), I personally wouldn't care how the dude's face looks mid-act because I'd be too busy enjoying the overall feeling, so uh, yeah.
Anyway, like I said, I agree with acting like you're into it instead of wishing you could be doing laundry or conditioning your hair or something! I just think that porn can get too many men's heads twisted and they start having unrealistic expectations based on what they see drunk/high actors doing, versus how normal people with normal bodies and normal flaws get down on a regular basis.
Well its time to get to work.
MissYocairis
Well-Known Member
I'm wondering the same thing. How she feels about performing the act can have an impact on her performance. Do you like it, OP?
Carrie A
Well-Known Member
what? we are? They have taken and changed "BECKY" to mean fellatio now?
Probably because one of the many complaints about "us" is that we are not enthusiastic about oral crayon as Becky and her crew lol. You know Becky does this that and the other. Same song. Anyhoo I gather that Becky has now become the slang for knob. I don't know about Plies. White girl could mean cocaine so Becky might mean that too. It's all so confusing
erplexed.
ThatJerseyGirl
Well-Known Member
oooooooooooooh....do yall know i just dummied up n realized whatchall was tawkin bout......OK...gotcha...
*grabs my drink n sits ova in my chair by da winda*
so yall talkin bout polishin knobs....polishin da apples, ok...
chile puleez...he'll be OK. try not to stress ova it. all u gotta do is get a banana, get some porn n practice. practice makes perfect. but only do it if u wanna do it. learn ur body in da process n find out what turns u on while u do it. if u don't feel comfortable doing it, then don't do it.
no need to have a conversation about it, unless u feel uncomfortable. if u wanna please him, then practice. hell, i would practice so much, that the next time we got togetha, i'd blow his mind n suck da nerves out chile....uh huh...sho would....
see, das da difference between us n dem. if a brotha ain't eatin da cooch right, we just tell him to get up n what not, go in da bathroom, turn da water on to muffle da sound n call up one of our girlfriends and tell how dis brotha got it goin on, but can't eat cooch. yall know how we do...
but seriously, he needs to learn patience. it'll be ok.
*grabs my drink n sits ova in my chair by da winda*
so yall talkin bout polishin knobs....polishin da apples, ok...
chile puleez...he'll be OK. try not to stress ova it. all u gotta do is get a banana, get some porn n practice. practice makes perfect. but only do it if u wanna do it. learn ur body in da process n find out what turns u on while u do it. if u don't feel comfortable doing it, then don't do it.
no need to have a conversation about it, unless u feel uncomfortable. if u wanna please him, then practice. hell, i would practice so much, that the next time we got togetha, i'd blow his mind n suck da nerves out chile....uh huh...sho would....
see, das da difference between us n dem. if a brotha ain't eatin da cooch right, we just tell him to get up n what not, go in da bathroom, turn da water on to muffle da sound n call up one of our girlfriends and tell how dis brotha got it goin on, but can't eat cooch. yall know how we do...
but seriously, he needs to learn patience. it'll be ok.
FAMUDva
Well-Known Member
I agree that you gotta get to work and do your homework.
I do think he didn't tell you "how" to improve because how can someone tell you how to be more enthusiastic about the job at hand? Sounds to me like he clearly told you why it was lacking... "You treat it like a chore and not like you want to do it"...
It would be a turn off to me too if someone were doing the deed like they HAD to vs. wanted to...
I also wanted to add that most of the posters are thinking like women regarding the how, why, etc of him telling you this and not going further. For real... guys are not that deep to just think all that through to intentionally make you feel bad. Sometimes guys are as simple as "you asked, so I answered". Then when he sees his answer is not what you wanted to hear, he may shut down or choose not to push the matter further. Sometimes we ask questions that it's hard to hear the truth on.
Bottom line is you're not good to him, so get better... watch movies, get a book, practice, do whatever it takes if you intend to get better.
And I don't agree they think it's a bad thing if you "act" like you have experience... my experience was partly why I got the job as wifey 
I do think he didn't tell you "how" to improve because how can someone tell you how to be more enthusiastic about the job at hand? Sounds to me like he clearly told you why it was lacking... "You treat it like a chore and not like you want to do it"...
It would be a turn off to me too if someone were doing the deed like they HAD to vs. wanted to...
I also wanted to add that most of the posters are thinking like women regarding the how, why, etc of him telling you this and not going further. For real... guys are not that deep to just think all that through to intentionally make you feel bad. Sometimes guys are as simple as "you asked, so I answered". Then when he sees his answer is not what you wanted to hear, he may shut down or choose not to push the matter further. Sometimes we ask questions that it's hard to hear the truth on.
Bottom line is you're not good to him, so get better... watch movies, get a book, practice, do whatever it takes if you intend to get better.
And I don't agree they think it's a bad thing if you "act" like you have experience... my experience was partly why I got the job as wifey
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deltadreamland
Well-Known Member
To the bolded, me too! I thought the same thing and had gotten pissed about it too
..until I realized what he was talking about. Then I was like, oh that. 
varaneka
New Member
Almaz
New Member
OKAY so when does making Love and having sex in a relationship has to come to being a Performance in the first place. Maybe he does not know what the hell HE is doing. I thought it was supposed to be about 2 people in love in a committed relationship that are willing to enjoy each other and learn. This is no constructive feedback and what does BECKY have anything to do with this. What does he like back door action that maybe his past Becky's did with glee I don't know where this is going
PeanutButterandHoney
New Member
I don't understand why it's so wrong for him to come to her with his displeasure. If I was displeasedwith my man, I'd let him know. It takes a lot of love to do that.
He is a man! Do we expect him to really communicate all ofthe logistics of what she is doing wrong? he did what 90% of brothas wouldn't have done and thats tell in the first place. If you want some suggestions as to what you can do feel free to PM me.
He is a man! Do we expect him to really communicate all ofthe logistics of what she is doing wrong? he did what 90% of brothas wouldn't have done and thats tell in the first place. If you want some suggestions as to what you can do feel free to PM me.
Bunny77
New Member
I don't understand why it's so wrong for him to come to her with his displeasure. If I was displeasedwith my man, I'd let him know. It takes a lot of love to do that.
He is a man! Do we expect him to really communicate all ofthe logistics of what she is doing wrong? he did what 90% of brothas wouldn't have done and thats tell in the first place. If you want some suggestions as to what you can do feel free to PM me.
I don't think any of us had a problem with him telling her about it (heck, I'd do it with a man too), but in the initial post, when she asked for tips, he said he didn't want to give her any because it took away from the spontaneity. I think the problem was that he said something and then left it at that when she asked what she could do.
But, she's come back and clarified how the conversation started and all that, so that provides a different perspective.
I will say that I have had men tell me the things that they like (not just with that, but in general) so that I could act accordingly. And it wasn't done in a "You're not doing this well, so try this instead," fashion.
Maybe it's just me (or maybe it's because I'm not dealing with brothas most times -- just saying since you mentioned brothas specifically
), but I haven't dealt with men who've had a problem communicating what they wanted.
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Bachelorette
New Member
can we just call it licking crayons, as you can see not only does calling the act 'becky" confusing to me but many others as well
No idea who Plies even is
Bunny77
New Member
can we just call it licking crayons, as you can see not only does calling the act 'becky" confusing to me but many others as well
No idea who Plies even is
And this is a good thing!!!!!
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
I agree with all of this, but especially the bolded. If a dude was doing this to me and looking like he'd rather have a V8, I would NOT be a happy camper.
Ugh, I wish I could really comment they way I'd like, but you know......
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Umm, the issue isn't the "coloring" on whole, it's this specific act.
erplexedLast time I checked, that doesn't require much effort on the other party's end.
I don't think anybody should have to suffer through a unfulfilled sex life, it's a sure way to have problems down the line. If there are things that can be improved upon, you should be able to discuss them like adults.
The problem in this situation is that he brought up the topic without giving her any sense of what to do to make it better.
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SilentRuby
Well-Known Member
I agree with all of this, but especially the bolded. If a dude was doing this to me and looking like he'd rather have a V8, I would NOT be a happy camper.
Ugh, I wish I could really comment they way I'd like, but you know......
I know, maybe an off-forum chat could be set up so that she could get some real advice instead of beating around the bush. She would be a pro within a matter of minutes, provided she gets some good tips
*5+5
New Member
I agree with all of this, but especially the bolded. If a dude was doing this to me and looking like he'd rather have a V8, I would NOT be a happy camper.
Ugh, I wish I could really comment they way I'd like, but you know......
[/B]
I know, maybe an off-forum chat could be set up so that she could get some real advice instead of beating around the bush. She would be a pro within a matter of minutes, provided she gets some good tips
I've recieved a few PMs with some pretty good helpful hints so feel free.
Kerryann
Well-Known Member
5+5 let me make it simple instead of going into circles
evryone of us has a GAY guy friend im sure you do ask him to give you instructions on how to do it. This will make life a whole lot easier. Tapes dont work all the time so check boomsheeka and he will put you on and i guarantee no more problems
evryone of us has a GAY guy friend im sure you do ask him to give you instructions on how to do it. This will make life a whole lot easier. Tapes dont work all the time so check boomsheeka and he will put you on and i guarantee no more problems
Kurlee
Well-Known Member
the question is how many experiences has he had to know and how many people is he comparing you too. That would bug me alot, don't think I could shake it.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
[/B]
I know, maybe an off-forum chat could be set up so that she could get some real advice instead of beating around the bush. She would be a pro within a matter of minutes, provided she gets some good tips
LOL! Okay!!!
Kurlee
Well-Known Member
those shells look hella good!
Kurlee
Well-Known Member
LOL... nah, I feel ya! Actually, there are some ladies on the board who will tell you that they derive pleasure from that act... just watching their man's face and all...
I guess if we switch things around (hope you're following me here), I personally wouldn't care how the dude's face looks mid-act because I'd be too busy enjoying the overall feeling, so uh, yeah.
Anyway, like I said, I agree with acting like you're into it instead of wishing you could be doing laundry or conditioning your hair or something! I just think that porn can get too many men's heads twisted and they start having unrealistic expectations based on what they see drunk/high actors doing, versus how normal people with normal bodies and normal flaws get down on a regular basis.
*5+5
New Member
I'm my SO's 1st partner where love + strong emotions are involved. So I guess I'm the Lone Ranger away from all of that unattached sex he's experienced.
My guy bff was in my SO's positioned and he told me that it took him awhile to adjust to emotional sex after having so many different meaningless partners. He said he use to get bored with it, now that he is married he swears he doesn't remember telling me that.
Kurlee
Well-Known Member
I'm my SO's 1st partner where love + strong emotions are involved. So I guess I'm the Lone Ranger away from all of that unattached sex he's experienced.
My guy bff was in my SO's positioned and he told me that it took him awhile to adjust to emotional sex after having so many different meaningless partners. He said he use to get bored with it, now that he is married he swears he doesn't remember telling me that.
i GUESS i'm just old
SelahOco
Well-Known Member
I didn't read all the posts, but OP you make sure you know this man's heart.
If he's a jerk: It could be true that he's punishing you in some way for not doing it the way he wants to. He'll tell you it's not good to make you insecure. Then if he cheats on you, he'll have an excuse. He won't coach you and he won't make you comfortable learning b/c he's not concerned with your comfort. He's selfish and doesn't intend to be with you for the long haul anyway.
If he's a good man: It could be that he mentioned this to you in an effort to communicate, but stopped short of telling you details because he doesn't wanna seem nasty or doesn't want to make you more insecure. Some men watch porn, and they see these women cooing over the penis like it's an ice cream cone. They want you to scream, hollar and lap it up like it has the cure for cancer in it.
You would not naturally act that way if you're not a porn watcher. Most women naturally treat "tasting a man" like they would kissing him. Slow, sensual, soft. They've been taught (thru experience and porn) that a woman is enjoying herself if she's acting ravenous. It's a matter of perspective.
The more you act like an animal, the more he likes it, and they easier it is for him to relax and enjoy what you're doing. He might be afraid to coach you because what he wants could sound "nasty" if he describes it to you. He might not know how to express it w/o offending you.
In either case, he should (you both should) be open to teaching each other. Thats what lovers do. You learn how to love one another.
Just imagine if he was bad at tasting you. How hard would it be for you to describe what he should do better. Try to put yourself in his shoes. Oral sex is either good or its bad. You can get better at it, but you should feel NO shame for not being good at it yet. You have to learn...everyone has to learn it. EVERYONE!!!
If he's a jerk: It could be true that he's punishing you in some way for not doing it the way he wants to. He'll tell you it's not good to make you insecure. Then if he cheats on you, he'll have an excuse. He won't coach you and he won't make you comfortable learning b/c he's not concerned with your comfort. He's selfish and doesn't intend to be with you for the long haul anyway.
If he's a good man: It could be that he mentioned this to you in an effort to communicate, but stopped short of telling you details because he doesn't wanna seem nasty or doesn't want to make you more insecure. Some men watch porn, and they see these women cooing over the penis like it's an ice cream cone. They want you to scream, hollar and lap it up like it has the cure for cancer in it.
You would not naturally act that way if you're not a porn watcher. Most women naturally treat "tasting a man" like they would kissing him. Slow, sensual, soft. They've been taught (thru experience and porn) that a woman is enjoying herself if she's acting ravenous. It's a matter of perspective.
The more you act like an animal, the more he likes it, and they easier it is for him to relax and enjoy what you're doing. He might be afraid to coach you because what he wants could sound "nasty" if he describes it to you. He might not know how to express it w/o offending you.
In either case, he should (you both should) be open to teaching each other. Thats what lovers do. You learn how to love one another.
Just imagine if he was bad at tasting you. How hard would it be for you to describe what he should do better. Try to put yourself in his shoes. Oral sex is either good or its bad. You can get better at it, but you should feel NO shame for not being good at it yet. You have to learn...everyone has to learn it. EVERYONE!!!
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MissMeWithThatIsh
New Member
If you really LIKE doing it, you'll get better in time.
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