Single Christian Women's Support Thread

[foxee]

Ladies, it's getting a little harder out there.

1. It's getting warmer. Nice weather= more outdoor activities, most of which aren't really fun when you have no one to enjoy them with.

2. The amount of people within my circle of friends and associates getting engaged, married, or into a relationship thus far this year is really high.

3. A young man who was interested in me for quite sometime is now officially in a relationship with another person. (Thanks facebook, which doesn't really help but I'm sure that could be another thread.) I know, I know, he must not have been the one for me. But I can't help but think about whether I was sleeping on a great opportunity. He clearly stated that he was interested in a starting a very serious relationship but I was a little hesitant.

4. I'm lonely.

Just reporting.


Oh, btw, while I was having these thoughts earlier today, I heard a voice tell me to "delight yourself in Me."

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I have my days too.

I experienced #3 a few months ago, but his status went from "Single" to "Engaged." erplexed I really hate Facebook sometimes.

Have you considered signing up for classes related to one of your favorite hobbies or even a supper club? With supper clubs you typically go to a different local restaurant once a week with the same group. It's a great way to meet new people and try places you may be too scared to eat at alone.

BTW, I love the bolded. Feel free to PM me anytime if you need someone to talk to.

Lol. I hear you. Yesterday I had an "I want to be a mommy" moment and start a family soon ... but then I let that go with a quickness. It will happen in God's time and His time is best.

I can only share this with y'all, but I have been thinking about my future kids a lot lately. I need to babysit someone's "child from hell" so I can get get over this feeling.

 

[Ms Red]

Thank you I really needed to read that today. Sometimes you feel like it will 'never happen' (hopes and desires) but you still want God's will for your life. Thank you for reminding me that it is only for a season.

I understand where you are coming from. However, alot of the times the change is two stepped. Before things change for us as Chrisitians, we often have to learn to rely and trust completely on God. We have to understand and be prepared for the fact that what God's plans and his intentions for us maynot be our own. It is only when we get there we are able to see a change in our lives. Sometimes the circumstances of our struggle do not change at all. It is our attitude and sense of security that gives us the strength for what we are going thru. As our wants and prays fall into line with God's plans for our future we begin to see a change. When we start looking and following God's plans for our lives things always seem to happen. Things start to work "out". The real change is allowing ourselves to be shaped and bent to his plans for us rather than going off on paths where our greatest blessings are not to be had. Also, it is o.k. to feel down and discouraged. The christian walks has its ups and downs. Sometimes it feels like it will happen for everyone but us. Be strong in this down season and remember that it is only for a season. Things will get better.

 

[ToyToy]

Just checking in . Wish you all a lovely weekend!!

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

This thang is getting harder..Im trying to become from sexual stronghold..not with a person..If Im deemed to marry I want to be solid in that area..I felt like a fool now after chatting it up Friday with a guy I just met as much as I think Im good I seem so desparte..Im so scared to get out there bc I fear that the first fine thing that comes my way Im going to jump on it..and make a fool of me and God..pray for me sisters..

 

[a_ caribbean_dream]

I have an important decision to make soon and I really would appreciate the prayers of all my fellow sisters in this thread.

I have been praying a long time for God to give me a clear answer on this and the time to make a decision is approaching. I have to keep praying and mediating on Proverbs 3.

Please, please say lift me up in your prayers tonight.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

i watched this classic message today and got encouraged. God called me to consecrate this week and even though I've been more focused on other things it was meaningful to see this. The Lord reminded me that i still have growing to do and need to seek his face regarding my desire to marry.

**btw, for those of you who have never watched this message i recommend that you take the time to watch the whole thing. no matter what your views of her are today, this is the kind of stuff that just doesn't get old.

 

[nubiennze]

Done. Trust His guidance!

I have an important decision to make soon and I really would appreciate the prayers of all my fellow sisters in this thread.

I have been praying a long time for God to give me a clear answer on this and the time to make a decision is approaching. I have to keep praying and mediating on Proverbs 3.

Please, please say lift me up in your prayers tonight.

 

[dimechiq]

Great thread. I will keep up with this. It's marriage time yet I'm still working on me. Thanks ladies.

 

[luthiengirlie]

Do you know if there is one already started? If so, can the link be posted?

If not, can we start one?

Who would be interested in a thread that caters to the difficulties single women face on a day to day basis and offer encouragement for one another?

I'm 23 yrs old almost 24. I have decided that the next relationship I get involved with is the man that's Godsent and the one ill marry. Not that I'm on the hunt lol. I got school! but its like days like today, I wish I had my future husband hold me and just let me know that the world can't attack me because I'm in his arms. I'm already his. He's already mine. Its YHWH's timing and our preperation. But sometimes I admit I just wanna know how that feels.

YHWH has stated to me that it would be an intense relationship like Christ has for and with the Church. But I need to emotionally position myself to receive it. However I admit as much as I want the lovey dovey doves. I'm terrified of making a mistake so that's me!

 

[milaydy31]

What does "YHWH" mean?

 

[luthiengirlie]

What does "YHWH" mean?

Hebrew name for God. Well it is His proper name

 

[Vonnieluvs08]

Battling loneliness right now. With it being so hot and all the couples being out on the block it makes me sad that I'm in the car riding by all alone.

I've also been distracted since a guy I met in college said he was interested in me. However his actions aren't matching up with his words so its frustrating. A beast I was trying to lay to rest by finding contentment in the Lord is awake because someone says I'm beautiful and would make a good wife. Now I can't put it back to bed.

Most times I just want someone to have a conversation with. I know I'm not ready for anything because I know how easily I become distracted from the Lord and kingdom work and would make any man an idol. Recognizing these things don't make it any easier but it lets others hold me accountable.

Trying to refocus my time on the Lord and all that he is and will ever be that Man can never live up to. I can get so disappointed in myself when these things happen. Going to go pray and read some Word. I just need to lay it all at the cross.

 

[loolalooh]

I have some frustrations on my heart that I'm trying to fight with faith in the Lord. I don't feel like stating them because I'll be giving them power. I will say that this Single journey is tough right now because I feel I am ready but that the Lord does not feel it's my time yet. Yesterday was a time of reflection and I finally cried out to Him for wisdom ... wisdom to know what it is I need to work on before He brings me the one. I heard nothing, but He led me to 1 John 5, which I need to meditate on a bit more:

13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. (NIV)

I sense there is something I'm overlooking in this situation. This week will be spent listening.

 

[foxee]

We let this thread drop to page three!

Summer is upon us, so I hope you ladies are getting out more, taking advantage of all these outdoor activities.

As for me, I am truly enjoying my singlehood . . . for now. I'm moving soon so I'm gonna hit the ground running. I made a personal challenge to go out once a week.

So how is everyone?

 

[phynestone]

Good. Just one day at a time.

 

[loolalooh]

Foxee, your once in a week challenge sounds like a good plan!

Phynestone, same here.

-----
Doing a lot better than since I last posted. Making an effort to go out and just enjoy the company of associates or friends. Also focusing on other areas of my life. Two guys have expressed a crush, but I'm not jumping with excitement or anything. One is a Christian but we do not click personality-wise (or even spiritually) and I tried but do not find him physically attractive. The other - I'm uncertain if he is Christian but I'm very much drawn to him physically and, so far, personality-wise. Interesting scenario. Anyway, I've prayed about it and haven't been directed that either of them is the one. I'm just accepting singlehood - more time to grow, do me, etc.

 

[Vonnieluvs08]

I'm hanging in there. Had a interesting convo with a friend. We talked about respecting men, interactions with guys esp at church, dealing with those that have expressed interest or that we are interested in. It was nice just to get it all out.

I find myself in a situation as to whether I should even be concerned with this area of my life since I'm still a babe in Christ and there is so much doubt in my professional life. Or live a little and be more social and accepting of the opposite sex.

I feel that I should lean on the side of working on my walk and getting my professional life settled. Everything else is just a distraction and since no one is serious then just leave well enough alone.

 

[Kimbosheart]

I'm officially joining-but perhaps I did a few pages back, if not I'm coming out of lurking. I've been on an interesting journey with the singleness thing in my faith walk. Now I'm content, with God's grace I've changed before my situation has. I definitely still have my moments of loneliness and doubt but I'm truly happy now. Anyway I feel compelled to learn more and prepare for this future test that marriage will be. I'm good at studying for tests and preparing and researching. I'm certain that's my gift along with patience. I would like to share with you ladies some resources that I've found helpful for getting information about being single, desiring marriage and drawing closer to God.

Boundless.org
Futuremarraigeuniversity.org

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Hey Ladies!!!!

Last night I was haven't one of my single girl moments, so I threw a God has forgotten about me pity party. I really began to pray and seek God what's going on. Well, it came to my spirit that, I am not being obedient to Lord during my transition process. He has been calling me to be more diligent about somethings, so I made up my mind to be willing to trust the process he his taking me through.... I will not allow self to keep me from the blessing I so desire!!! I have decided to be more obedient all areas of life and trust the process the Lord is taking me through.
Please pray for me, because really trusting is really hard. Thanks Ladies and be encouraged. I am praying for you all as well!!!!!

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

I have really been having problems in this area.I really want to be acknowledged by a man.To be desired.I truly feel that the only reason why I exist to a degree.Why have desires God for what to be single and haggered all my life.I pray I don't have to wait until Im way over the hill before I married..what would be the point..and before I get any God didn't promise marriage I know that..Im not dumb.Just a single woman rant and vent..

 

[Vonnieluvs08]

Had a bit of a breakdown Saturday night. I was visiting my friend in Charlotte and her boo came over. She had told me about him over the phone and he was just as nice in person. He even took her 2 nephews to the park with his son so we could hang out and get some mani/pedi. He is a gentleman in every since of the word.

I am happy for my friend she deserves happiness. It was just hard watching them interact and feeling like the 3rd wheel. It was such an inspiration to just see them and know that they both love the Lord and are trying to have a relationship that is honoring to him.

I kept wishing it was me. Kept wondering why I can't meet someone that has similar qualities. Just tired of feeling lonely and feeling guilty if I wear something nice, flattering and feminine. I was texting another friend about it but crying was the only thing that "help". I kept praying in my head for God to make me a better friend, not covet a relationship, and give me patience to wait on the Lord's perfect timing. The last one is the hardest one....especially since I keep being around children and feel that clock just ticking away.

Just learning to trust the Lord.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

<<<< Hugs to You VonnieLoves08>>>>>>

 

[luthiengirlie]

I admit i am getting tired. it's not that I expect a man to complete me no no that ain't his job. but as a person who has 3 diseases and school it would be nice to just rest in somebody's arms for awhile. I admit I texted my ex just to say hey could you hold me for a bit.. i don't know if htat was the wrong thing to do or what

 

[foxee]

For all my sisters

Ladies, I'm just not stressed about this part of my life right now. And it's not that I don't care or I no longer desire a relationship. I don't want to stress myself out worrying when it's all going to work out anyway.

Having said that, I'm going to begin my personal challenge of going out once a week starting next month. My sole purpose of this challenge is not to meet a man every single time I go somewhere, but just to go out and enjoy life! Someday when I'm a wife and mother I'm going to miss the days when I can come and go as I please, sleep in, etc. So whether I get married next year or a few years from now, I refuse to spend another day wallowing in self pity!

 

[Kimbosheart]

I have really been having problems in this area.I really want to be acknowledged by a man.To be desired.I truly feel that the only reason why I exist to a degree.Why have desires God for what to be single and haggered all my life.I pray I don't have to wait until Im way over the hill before I married..what would be the point..and before I get any God didn't promise marriage I know that..Im not dumb.Just a single woman rant and vent..

Had a bit of a breakdown Saturday night. I was visiting my friend in Charlotte and her boo came over. She had told me about him over the phone and he was just as nice in person. He even took her 2 nephews to the park with his son so we could hang out and get some mani/pedi. He is a gentleman in every since of the word.

I am happy for my friend she deserves happiness. It was just hard watching them interact and feeling like the 3rd wheel. It was such an inspiration to just see them and know that they both love the Lord and are trying to have a relationship that is honoring to him.

I kept wishing it was me. Kept wondering why I can't meet someone that has similar qualities. Just tired of feeling lonely and feeling guilty if I wear something nice, flattering and feminine. I was texting another friend about it but crying was the only thing that "help". I kept praying in my head for God to make me a better friend, not covet a relationship, and give me patience to wait on the Lord's perfect timing. The last one is the hardest one....especially since I keep being around children and feel that clock just ticking away.

Just learning to trust the Lord.

@ the bolded and specifically the underlined, please take a look at this link: http://www.boundless.org/girls/pages/GirlsGuide.pdf

This gave me so much encouragement and biblical support for what I'm feeling and how and why it's okay to actually want a husband. It's a quick read and yes some of the ideas may seem archaic at first, but all of us in this forum understand obedience. There is a corresponding link for guys and it makes it quite plain in God's own words that as single women we trust in the Lord by waiting and wanting and theres nothing wrong with that. HTH

 

[loolalooh]

Ladies, I had a dream some days ago. I don't want to get into the details, but the summary was that I was standish-offish towards men. When I woke up, I knew that was God speaking to me. If I don't put down my high guard, my future husband is just going to pass me by. I know what's causing this high guard (pain from a previous failed relationship) and I need to work on it pronto. That's my update. Please pray for me to let go of the pain.

 

[loolalooh]

@ the bolded and specifically the underlined, please take a look at this link: http://www.boundless.org/girls/pages/GirlsGuide.pdf

This gave me so much encouragement and biblical support for what I'm feeling and how and why it's okay to actually want a husband. It's a quick read and yes some of the ideas may seem archaic at first, but all of us in this forum understand obedience. There is a corresponding link for guys and it makes it quite plain in God's own words that as single women we trust in the Lord by waiting and wanting and theres nothing wrong with that. HTH

Okay, I'm still in the process of reading but it seems RIGHT ON TIME so far. I know this was intended for the other ladies, but it's proving itself useful to me too. Thank you so much for sharing!

 

[phynestone]

This isn't really about relationships, but I feel very lonely. I haven't made any friends here and it's been a long time since I've really hung out with anyone. Yeah, I talk to my co-workers and people at school, but it isn't the same. Now I enjoy my own company, but it would be nice to have friends that like me for me and don't try to change me. Even when I was back home, I went out by myself, did everything by myself b/c the few friends I did have were busy working or they had other responsibilities. Or they lived far away. How much more "self-improvement" do I need? How much more "spiritual" do I need to be? How diligent do I need to be as a Christian before I am "blessed" with the other things I'd like in my life? I'm not trying to sound ungrateful....I'm very happy with what God has done in my life thus far. But we're also not meant to be an island. I feel very lonely. School is my priority right now, so I think having a boyfriend would take me off track, but I'm feeling very discouraged right now.

 

[Kimbosheart]

Okay, I'm still in the process of reading but it seems RIGHT ON TIME so far. I know this was intended for the other ladies, but it's proving itself useful to me too. Thank you so much for sharing!

It was intended for all of us!!! I will say while it gives me encouragement in wanting to be a wife it doesn't make the waiting any easier.

 

[luthiengirlie]

This isn't really about relationships, but I feel very lonely. I haven't made any friends here and it's been a long time since I've really hung out with anyone. Yeah, I talk to my co-workers and people at school, but it isn't the same. Now I enjoy my own company, but it would be nice to have friends that like me for me and don't try to change me. Even when I was back home, I went out by myself, did everything by myself b/c the few friends I did have were busy working or they had other responsibilities. Or they lived far away. How much more "self-improvement" do I need? How much more "spiritual" do I need to be? How diligent do I need to be as a Christian before I am "blessed" with the other things I'd like in my life? I'm not trying to sound ungrateful....I'm very happy with what God has done in my life thus far. But we're also not meant to be an island. I feel very lonely. School is my priority right now, so I think having a boyfriend would take me off track, but I'm feeling very discouraged right now.

i am where you're at... relationships sighs