A Single Women's Guide to Marriage Preparation

[Aviah]

@Aviah,
^^^ Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!! I hope you and SO find some good godly premarital couseling. It is priceless! Here are a few books I recommend and often purchase IRL as gifts for those about to be wed.
Making Marriage Work- https://shop.joycemeyer.org/eStore/Products/JMM/PID-BK69.aspx
The Successful Family- Creflo Dollar Ministries - The Successful Family
Anything by Gary Smalley. Check out his website. It is FULL of martial info.The Official site of Gary Smalley, Michael and Amy Smalley, and Greg and Erin Smalley! | Expert advice on dating, marriage, and parenting from a name you trust - Smalley!
I especially like this book- Before You Plan Your Wedding, Plan Your Marriage Before You Plan Your Wedding...Plan Your Marriage
Also look at Focus on the Family- www. family.org
Ok, I'll stop now. I am dead serious about biblical marriage though...

Lol, thanks for the information but I am not engaged yet, but think I will be this year. SO and I have been talking about it seriously this year, more than the past so, I figure there's no harm in preparation.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I would encourage all of us to meditate on

Colossians 2:9 For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; 10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

Are you complete in him or waiting for that missing piece in your life? Are you satisfied in him only or doing things for him so he can satisfy you with your desires?

I was convicted of this last night. I want to share so we can begin to really understand that though marriage is good and righteous, it will not satisfy us like we may anticipate.

If you are happy and complete in joy in Christ before marriage, you will be after marriage. If you are not before marriage, you will not be after marriage.

Which leads me to believe that...I should be living my fullest and most joyous time now. Today without my mate. I should not be waiting for him to add something to my life that I currently do not have but another person I'll have to be accountable to. In reality, I know my job as a wife will be to serve and not be served.


But this does not stop my desires when I am complete in him, it just places it in perspective. I pray and pray and pray some more until my mate comes then I'll keep praying because I am called to pray without ceasing. But I know my joy and happiness is in Christ Jesus. No husband, child, career, ministry, or earthly thing. I am going to live my best now and my husband will be an additional to that already established happiness, not the source.

 

[a_ caribbean_dream]

I would encourage all of us to meditate on

Colossians 2:9 For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; 10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

Are you complete in him or waiting for that missing piece in your life? Are you satisfied in him only or doing things for him so he can satisfy you with your desires?

I was convicted of this last night. I want to share so we can begin to really understand that though marriage is good and righteous, it will not satisfy us like we may anticipate.

If you are happy and complete in joy in Christ before marriage, you will be after marriage. If you are not before marriage, you will not be after marriage.

Which leads me to believe that...I should be living my fullest and most joyous time now. Today without my mate. I should not be waiting for him to add something to my life that I currently do not have but another person I'll have to be accountable to. In reality, I know my job as a wife will be to serve and not be served.


But this does not stop my desires when I am complete in him, it just places it in perspective. I pray and pray and pray some more until my mate comes then I'll keep praying because I am called to pray without ceasing. But I know my joy and happiness is in Christ Jesus. No husband, child, career, ministry, or earthly thing. I am going to live my best now and my husband will be an additional to that already established happiness, not the source.

Amen and amen. Thank you for this post. I am struggling with this, BADLY.

 

[Zeal]

Here's a response I gave to a post on Relationships (How Long Is Too Long). I think it applies to "getting ready."

"I knew I was really ready when I figured out that I had to be willing to be a wife according to God's word AND that the man I married had to be the type of husband God called men to be. Specifically, that meant I had to be in a place of understanding about submission and that being submissive does not take anything away from who I am as an individual. So, if a woman isn't ready to be submissive -- she's not ready.

Being ready has also meant that had to be in a place of allowing my husband to be the head of our family and dealing with the need within me to try and control things. So, in essence, I had to allow God to deal with my control issues. I had to learn that He is control -- not me. If a woman feels the need to be in control, she's not ready.

Being ready has meant I've had to deal with my selfish nature -- IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! If a woman wants to be all about her -- she's not ready.

Being ready means learning to forgive easily and being quick to ask for forgiveness.

I've also had to learn how to disagree (even argue) in a way without disrespecting my husband. I've had to learn not to use my words to try to cut and hurt him just because I'm angry. If women isn't ready to deal with that deadly tongue, she isn't ready.

To sum it up: if we're not ready to put down our flesh, we're probably not ready.

Honestly, I didn't learn all this stuff BEFOREhand, but I sure wish I'd had someone to sit me down and tell me the REAL DEAL. The more I line myself with God's word, the better wife I become. So, in short, all the instructions for preparation we need are in the Bible: submission, forgiveness, being slow to anger, speaking kind words, communication, honesty. If we measure ourselves by this, we'll find out just how close we are to being ready for a loving marriage relationship.

ETA: And I haven't even begun to talk about sex yet!

Are you in my head. I was just having this conversation Sunday night with a friend. I was telling him that all the timebefore that I was not rady. But I am closer to being ready now. Why??? because of everything that you posted above.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

I would encourage all of us to meditate on

Colossians 2:9 For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; 10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

Are you complete in him or waiting for that missing piece in your life? Are you satisfied in him only or doing things for him so he can satisfy you with your desires?

I was convicted of this last night. I want to share so we can begin to really understand that though marriage is good and righteous, it will not satisfy us like we may anticipate.

If you are happy and complete in joy in Christ before marriage, you will be after marriage. If you are not before marriage, you will not be after marriage.

Which leads me to believe that...I should be living my fullest and most joyous time now. Today without my mate. I should not be waiting for him to add something to my life that I currently do not have but another person I'll have to be accountable to. In reality, I know my job as a wife will be to serve and not be served.


But this does not stop my desires when I am complete in him, it just places it in perspective. I pray and pray and pray some more until my mate comes then I'll keep praying because I am called to pray without ceasing. But I know my joy and happiness is in Christ Jesus. No husband, child, career, ministry, or earthly thing. I am going to live my best now and my husband will be an additional to that already established happiness, not the source.

Question and maybe Im just not christian enough but the serving part throws me.I feel its mutally both parties should serve one another..I think this is why I become highly irrated by marriage convo's with some bc it appears we have to be doormats without expectations of receieving love and care back from the hubby.

But the rest of your post is very hot bc this can be applied on so many other areas of life.

 

[Prudent1]

Question and maybe Im just not christian enough but the serving part throws me.I feel its mutally both parties should serve one another..I think this is why I become highly irrated by marriage convo's with some bc it appears we have to be doormats without expectations of receieving love and care back from the hubby.

But the rest of your post is very hot bc this can be applied on so many other areas of life.

GoddessMaker
Eph 5:21
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
We all know the wives submit ot husbands verse but sometimes (for whatever reason) the verse before it is left out. Both parties are to mutually be concerned with meeting the needs of the other person (not how well the other person is meeting their needs). Can you picture how freeing and selfless doing this would be? If this is taking place in a marriage, no one is a doormat for anyone else-period. When Christ is being reverenced, no one is being treated unfairly because He doesn't treat us like crap nor does He condone others treating us that way. To do so would make him a liar since he is not a respector of persons and loves and cherishes his daughters too. Please don't believe the lies the enemy spews to scare you away from a godly marriage. Always consider the source. Some of these feminist groups are just as hateful and twisted as any false preacher, college professor, baby daddy type, chauvinist male, or jealous (a.k.a manless) female 'trusted' advisor. Consider the source.

 

[Brittneynicole7952]

Wow!!!

I was not expecting to find this kind of stuff on LHCF. I love that you all are so open to the many things that concern us women, including marriage.

Well since you asked PrettyfacedANB, where are all the married woman at?...here is one.
I recently got married this past Oct 9 to the most amazing man in the world to me. At age 24, you might consider me to be a young married women a (newbie), I can say that the bible REALLY does teach you, prepare you for marriage. I am a living witness that the more that you get into the word of GOD and pray to him to mold you into the woman that he wants you to be, you will automatically take the role of the woman that is ready for marriage. My story is a little different from most (and I would be willing to tell you, if you want to here it...) I see that you have the desire to get married and I believe that this is an honorable thing, therefore (if in God's will, you will receive this anyway).

 

[Brittneynicole7952]

There is no other book greater than the bible that will explain to you about the things of life. Ask God to give you clarity if you don't understand a particular scripture. No need for "christian" books. GOD'S word is ALL you need. Promise.

 

[Brittneynicole7952]

Wow!!!

I was not expecting to find this kind of stuff on LHCF. I love that you all are so open to the many things that concern us women, including marriage.

Well since you asked PrettyfacedANB, where are all the married woman at?...here is one.
I recently got married this past Oct 9 to the most amazing man in the world to me. At age 24, you might consider me to be a young married women a (newbie), I can say that the bible REALLY does teach you, prepare you for marriage. I am a living witness that the more that you get into the word of GOD and pray to him to mold you into the woman that he wants you to be, you will automatically take the role of the woman that is ready for marriage. My story is a little different from most (and I would be willing to tell you, if you want to here it...) I see that you have the desire to get married and I believe that this is an honorable thing, therefore (if in God's will, you will receive this anyway).

 

[Brittneynicole7952]

I would encourage all of us to meditate on

Colossians 2:9 For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; 10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

Are you complete in him or waiting for that missing piece in your life? Are you satisfied in him only or doing things for him so he can satisfy you with your desires?

I was convicted of this last night. I want to share so we can begin to really understand that though marriage is good and righteous, it will not satisfy us like we may anticipate.

If you are happy and complete in joy in Christ before marriage, you will be after marriage. If you are not before marriage, you will not be after marriage.

Which leads me to believe that...I should be living my fullest and most joyous time now. Today without my mate. I should not be waiting for him to add something to my life that I currently do not have but another person I'll have to be accountable to. In reality, I know my job as a wife will be to serve and not be served.


But this does not stop my desires when I am complete in him, it just places it in perspective. I pray and pray and pray some more until my mate comes then I'll keep praying because I am called to pray without ceasing. But I know my joy and happiness is in Christ Jesus. No husband, child, career, ministry, or earthly thing. I am going to live my best now and my husband will be an additional to that already established happiness, not the source.

beautifully said sis!!

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Brittneynicole7952

Thank you Brittney for sharing your encouragement with us ladies.

I would love to hear your story. Please share with the class.

 

[preciouzone]

Old thread but timeless advice! I really enjoyed reading all 3 pages!!

Bumping for more advice from the married women on here if you have more to add!!