Should She Sleep With This Married Man?

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GetHappy2014 said:
:lachen:
I hear ya. I really do. But this is where I disagree. Yes, the husband should pay... But that is the wife's job. She chose to marry and stay with a philandering man... So deal. The only thing my friend should have to deal with is what is put upon her. He didn't break any vows with my friend he doesn't owe her anything.
Click to expand...
.
Dealing shouldn't include your friend knowingly fxing a married man. And only after one dinner. Does she even do that with single men?!

How does your friend benefit from this? She isn't even doing selfish right
 
You might need to get your story straight, OP.
When you tell the truth, you rarely contradict yourself.
First you posted:

GetHappy2014 said:
My friend... Yeah innocent. She didn't know he was married. To clarify... Wifey's behavior is not in response to the recent dinner date.
Click to expand...

When didn't she know this?
Surely not before the dinner
Since you wrote:

GetHappy2014 said:
I think you mis-understood the chain of events. She went on the date very recently. Wifey has been dragging her for months prior.
Click to expand...

Not to mention that in the OP
you already told us when she found out:

GetHappy2014 said:
One day he runs into her in the cafeteria, he approaches her and asked why hasn't he heard from her. She replies, cause she hasn't been in need of consulting. They are talking in a crowded cafeteria, for all to see. Not long after their very public exchange, she calls him. Very early in the conversation he says to her, you know I'm married, right? She explained to him that she did not know, and that she does not 'do married men' and abruptly ended their call.
Click to expand...

So she's not innocent
She's mad because the community frowns upon her shenanigans
And you are encouraging the bullsh**
Where do you both come off thinking she a victim here?
TF sort of side-piece logic is that?
Is your friend so cheap as to confirm rumors by taking it further
and becoming the office slut?
The guy is probably placed bets on how soon before
he hits this easy wanna-play-hard "I don't do married men" flake
He's already scored points by dating her
Talk of being played without even knowing it :nono:

You started this thread talmbout
GetHappy2014 said:
I know that most of your answers would probably be the same as mine ....
Click to expand...

Nah Girl,
Not if you think vengeance is yours or your friend's
And that you/she didn't bring all this on yourselves
Or that you have a leg to stand on being mad about the repercussions

When you play with mess
You get covered in it and you stink
So it should not surprise you if everyone holds their noses and makes faces when you show up.

And just when I think I have seen all the ****ery
You go and post this:

GetHappy2014 said:
No offense to be taken, I appreciate everyone's opinion. My friend is my friend because we share similar values as is probably the case with you all. So, some of the decisions she makes usually aligns with my thinking (not always). So I was in support of her going on the date with Wifey's husband (although she told me afterwards). She can absolutely 'hold her own' . He treated her with respect, she was wined and dined on Wifey's dime. Rode in her car. That is sweet revenge.
Click to expand...
GetHappy2014 said:
I will agree that giving up the cooch is giving away too much of herself. However, wifey was too weak to deal with husband. She was too weak to leave his behind for the trifling hoe he probably is....

Suggesting that my friend reads "I strongly advise you and your friend to read the book: "Why Men Don't Love Women Like You" , by G. Lambert." is quite unnecessary, in this situation. Because this is a one time event for her. This doesn't usually happen to her. The point of my post was to figure out how to exact revenge on the wife. Instead wifey needs to read that book... For clinging to a bum of a husband. And punishing innocent people because she is to weak to leave him.
Click to expand...

Why do you suddenly sound like the typical, worthless, side-piece
Who insults the wife talking about how "inadequate" she is
Because bird logic tells the side-piece that she is the prize
"She can hold her own" and so is a more worthy treat for this dog
"Wife is too weak to deal with her man" so she'll step in take care of business
Suddenly you sound like this is a contest to win this worthless piece of sh**

Like I don't understand why you think the wife needs to read the book and not you guys
Surely you two don't think he loves your friend and not his wife do you?
I know we been having floods but don't tell me brains were washed away
Please don't tell me you and your friend are this delusional or thirsty
Why else are you apparently bothered about the wife being too weak to leave his ass
So your friend who was flattered and found him attractive can win?
I would be so embarrassed if my friend were making this much a fool of herself.


 
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If the friend hadn't gone out to dinner with him, she could have approached the wife to have a sit-down and talk about it/get the truth out there. It would have thrown the wife off guard if she would have approached her to explain things and she would have probably been more open to talking to your friend. You'd be surprised where truth and open communication can take you. I've seen it done. These are actions that people who can hold their own take. And even if, in the end, the wife is still upset, it'll be b/c her husband finds your friend tempting instead of her walking around believing your friend definitely slept with her man. But, she went out to dinner with him and he can use that to keep the pot stirred, so...

I'd avoid them at all costs and focus only on the job while looking for ways to transfer to another department, get a new job, etc. Further playing with the wife's emotions can lead to death, prison, stalking/miserable life/fatal attraction type stuff in reverse.
 
I was about to post but @PatDM'T came in here and broke sh.it down.

ItsTrueTho_zps7a56f136.gif~c200
 
PatDM'T said:
You might need to get your story straight, OP.
When you tell the truth, you rarely contradict yourself.
First you posted:



When didn't she know this?
Surely not before the dinner
Since you wrote:



Not to mention that in the OP
you already told us when she found out:



So she's not innocent
She's mad because the community frowns upon her shenanigans
And you are encouraging the bullsh**
Where do you both come off thinking she a victim here?
TF sort of side-piece logic is that?
Is your friend so cheap as to confirm rumors by taking it further
and becoming the office slut?
The guy is probably placed bets on how soon before
he hits this easy wanna-play-hard "I don't do married men" flake
He's already scored points by dating her
Talk of being played without even knowing it :nono:

You started this thread talmbout


Nah Girl,
Not if you think vengeance is yours or your friend's
And that you/she didn't bring all this on yourselves
Or that you have a leg to stand on being mad about the repercussions

When you play with mess
You get covered in it and you stink
So it should not surprise you if everyone holds their noses and makes faces when you show up.

And just when I think I have seen all the ****ery
You go and post this:



Why do you suddenly sound like the typical, worthless, side-piece
Who insults the wife talking about how "inadequate" she is
Because bird logic tells the side-piece that she is the prize
"She can hold her own" and so is a more worthy treat for this dog
"Wife is too weak to deal with her man" so she'll step in take care of business
Suddenly you sound like this is a contest to win this worthless piece of sh**

Like I don't understand why you think the wife needs to read the book and not you guys
Surely you two don't think he loves your friend and not his wife do you?
I know we been having floods but don't tell me brains were washed away
Please don't tell me you and your friend are this delusional or thirsty
Why else are you apparently bothered about the wife being too weak to leave his ass
So your friend who was flattered and found him attractive can win?
I would be so embarrassed if my friend were making this much a fool of herself.
Click to expand...



Well Damn. That's all folks. We can just pack up and go cause @PatDM'T done laid it out.
 
PatDM'T said:
You might need to get your story straight, OP.
When you tell the truth, you rarely contradict yourself.
First you posted:



When didn't she know this?
Surely not before the dinner
Since you wrote:



Not to mention that in the OP
you already told us when she found out:



So she's not innocent
She's mad because the community frowns upon her shenanigans
And you are encouraging the bullsh**
Where do you both come off thinking she a victim here?
TF sort of side-piece logic is that?
Is your friend so cheap as to confirm rumors by taking it further
and becoming the office slut?
The guy is probably placed bets on how soon before
he hits this easy wanna-play-hard "I don't do married men" flake
He's already scored points by dating her
Talk of being played without even knowing it :nono:

You started this thread talmbout


Nah Girl,
Not if you think vengeance is yours or your friend's
And that you/she didn't bring all this on yourselves
Or that you have a leg to stand on being mad about the repercussions

When you play with mess
You get covered in it and you stink
So it should not surprise you if everyone holds their noses and makes faces when you show up.

And just when I think I have seen all the ****ery
You go and post this:



Why do you suddenly sound like the typical, worthless, side-piece
Who insults the wife talking about how "inadequate" she is
Because bird logic tells the side-piece that she is the prize
"She can hold her own" and so is a more worthy treat for this dog
"Wife is too weak to deal with her man" so she'll step in take care of business
Suddenly you sound like this is a contest to win this worthless piece of sh**

Like I don't understand why you think the wife needs to read the book and not you guys
Surely you two don't think he loves your friend and not his wife do you?
I know we been having floods but don't tell me brains were washed away
Please don't tell me you and your friend are this delusional or thirsty
Why else are you apparently bothered about the wife being too weak to leave his ass
So your friend who was flattered and found him attractive can win?
I would be so embarrassed if my friend were making this much a fool of herself.
Click to expand...

sdwdD.gif
 
PatDM'T said:
You might need to get your story straight, OP.
When you tell the truth, you rarely contradict yourself.
First you posted:



When didn't she know this?
Surely not before the dinner
Since you wrote:



Not to mention that in the OP
you already told us when she found out:



So she's not innocent
She's mad because the community frowns upon her shenanigans
And you are encouraging the bullsh**
Where do you both come off thinking she a victim here?
TF sort of side-piece logic is that?
Is your friend so cheap as to confirm rumors by taking it further
and becoming the office slut?
The guy is probably placed bets on how soon before
he hits this easy wanna-play-hard "I don't do married men" flake
He's already scored points by dating her
Talk of being played without even knowing it :nono:

You started this thread talmbout


Nah Girl,
Not if you think vengeance is yours or your friend's
And that you/she didn't bring all this on yourselves
Or that you have a leg to stand on being mad about the repercussions

When you play with mess
You get covered in it and you stink
So it should not surprise you if everyone holds their noses and makes faces when you show up.

And just when I think I have seen all the ****ery
You go and post this:



Why do you suddenly sound like the typical, worthless, side-piece
Who insults the wife talking about how "inadequate" she is
Because bird logic tells the side-piece that she is the prize
"She can hold her own" and so is a more worthy treat for this dog
"Wife is too weak to deal with her man" so she'll step in take care of business
Suddenly you sound like this is a contest to win this worthless piece of sh**

Like I don't understand why you think the wife needs to read the book and not you guys
Surely you two don't think he loves your friend and not his wife do you?
I know we been having floods but don't tell me brains were washed away
Please don't tell me you and your friend are this delusional or thirsty
Why else are you apparently bothered about the wife being too weak to leave his ass
So your friend who was flattered and found him attractive can win?
I would be so embarrassed if my friend were making this much a fool of herself.
Click to expand...
lNxz7.gif
 
PatDM'T said:
You might need to get your story straight, OP.
When you tell the truth, you rarely contradict yourself.
First you posted:



When didn't she know this?
Surely not before the dinner
Since you wrote:



Not to mention that in the OP
you already told us when she found out:



So she's not innocent
She's mad because the community frowns upon her shenanigans
And you are encouraging the bullsh**
Where do you both come off thinking she a victim here?
TF sort of side-piece logic is that?
Is your friend so cheap as to confirm rumors by taking it further
and becoming the office slut?
The guy is probably placed bets on how soon before
he hits this easy wanna-play-hard "I don't do married men" flake
He's already scored points by dating her
Talk of being played without even knowing it :nono:

You started this thread talmbout


Nah Girl,
Not if you think vengeance is yours or your friend's
And that you/she didn't bring all this on yourselves
Or that you have a leg to stand on being mad about the repercussions

When you play with mess
You get covered in it and you stink
So it should not surprise you if everyone holds their noses and makes faces when you show up.

And just when I think I have seen all the ****ery
You go and post this:



Why do you suddenly sound like the typical, worthless, side-piece
Who insults the wife talking about how "inadequate" she is
Because bird logic tells the side-piece that she is the prize
"She can hold her own" and so is a more worthy treat for this dog
"Wife is too weak to deal with her man" so she'll step in take care of business
Suddenly you sound like this is a contest to win this worthless piece of sh**

Like I don't understand why you think the wife needs to read the book and not you guys
Surely you two don't think he loves your friend and not his wife do you?
I know we been having floods but don't tell me brains were washed away
Please don't tell me you and your friend are this delusional or thirsty
Why else are you apparently bothered about the wife being too weak to leave his ass
So your friend who was flattered and found him attractive can win?
I would be so embarrassed if my friend were making this much a fool of herself.
Click to expand...

giphy.gif
 
Sosoothing said:
@PatDM'T
I like you.

I seriously doubt the friend exists.
Click to expand...

You aren't the only one
The way she knows the details of their encounters as if she was there
Normally this is stuff you remember when it's happened to you

Rewind:
One day he runs into her in the cafeteria, he approaches her and asked why hasn't he heard from her. She replies, cause she hasn't been in need of consulting. They are talking in a crowded cafeteria, for all to see. Not long after their very public exchange, she calls him. Very early in the conversation he says to her, you know I'm married, right? She explained to him that she did not know, and that she does not 'do married men' and abruptly ended their call. About two months pass and no sign of Mr. Player. Then...as she is walking through the lobby someone calls out for her from behind ... She turns around and it's him.....she gives him an unpleasant look and is waiting to hear what he wants. He asks her how she's been... She responds with short, flippant answers. Later that day she runs into him again with a crowd of people around she attempts to ignore him but he calls out for her. She turns around and says hi and notices other people are watching their exchange. One particular woman has this look of surprise/confusion.
Click to expand...
Maybe it's a reality show
And she saw the video :look:

As for the animosity toward the wife
Beats me why she would be so invested in causing her misery
If this ain't about her
Side-pieces be staying delusional
Judging the wife for keeping a ho while trying so hard to be the wife of the ho.
 
My apologies, cause I didn't read every post in detail. So let me know if I failed to address a point. First my friend and I talked about this in detail over the past months. I asked questions to get a full account of what happened. She didn't know he was married, she didn't know we both tried to figure out what happened cause like I said to date nobody addressed my friend, even the husband. The dinner happened very very recently. The dragging has been happening for months although since my friend wasn't informed she doesn't know exactly when. I made it crystal clear that she purposely went on the date to spite the wife, knowing he was married. (Whether you like it or not). By the way I am a detail person, when it matters ( it is part of my profession). Did I miss anything? What else you got?
 
GetHappy2014 said:
My apologies, cause I didn't read every post in detail. So let me know if I failed to address a point. First my friend and I talked about this in detail over the past months. I asked questions to get a full account of what happened. She didn't know he was married, she didn't know we both tried to figure out what happened cause like I said to date nobody addressed my friend, even the husband. The dinner happened very very recently. The dragging has been happening for months although since my friend wasn't informed she doesn't know exactly when. I made it crystal clear that she purposely went on the date to spite the wife, knowing he was married. (Whether you like it or not). By the way I am a detail person, when it matters ( it is part of my profession). Did I miss anything? What else you got?
Click to expand...

Why are you asking for advice, but can't be bothered to "...read every post in detail"?
 
If she'd gone out with him to talk about the situation then the dinner wouldn't be a problem but the wining and dining part makes it clear that it was a date. I understand being mad at the wife because she's actively making the her work environment more difficult. I just don't get entangling oneself in drama and doing it with your eyes wide open. If I were in this situation, I'd want a friend to tell me that this was beneath me. The only plotting we'd do would be on how to get them both fired. It sounds like he's a contractor so that should be easy to do with his flirting. The wife is creating a hostile work environment so it's a legitimate grievance.
 
Last edited:
To address the HR complaint issue, which is the route I initially suggested. However, as she explained to me... Nobody has brought anything concrete to her. She even had to figure out... That this is his wife and still nothing has been confirmed.

If this was me... I would not have a problem saying so. I personally agree with her date tactic. I'm in it already, so why wouldn't I just take full responsibility?
 
GetHappy2014 said:
We are going after the wife because she turned co-workers against my friend. She could have very easily had a sit down discussion with my friend. My friend is a very approachable person. There was no need to drag her name, when nothing was going on.
Click to expand...
She doesn't owe your friend anything. Your friend should have sat down with the wife and explained that she was unaware that he was married. That is what someone your age would do. Please know that people are going to say ish about you, they are not going to like you, etc... What are you going to do about it...NOTHING! Move alone!
 
Black Ambrosia said:
If she'd gone out with him to talk about the situation then the dinner wouldn't be a problem but the wining and dining part makes it clear that it was a date. I understand being mad at the wife because she's actively making the wife's work environment more difficult. I just don't get entangling oneself in drama and doing it with your eyes wide open. If I were in this situation, I'd want a friend to tell me that this was beneath me. The only plotting we'd do would be on how to get them both fired. It sounds like he's a contractor so that should be easy to do with his flirting. The wife is creating a hostile work environment so it's a legitimate grievance.
Click to expand...
"The wife is creating a hostile work environment so it's a legitimate grievance. "
The wife had been causing a hostile environment months before the dinner date. She went on the date to get back at the wife. Immature? Yes, of course. But I ain't made at her.
 
niknik253 said:
She doesn't owe your friend anything. Your friend should have sat down with the wife and explained that she was unaware that he was married. That is what someone your age would do. Please know that people are going to say ish about you, they are not going to like you, etc... What are you going to do about it...NOTHING! Move alone!
Click to expand...
WRONG!!!! Correction: My friend doesn't owe the wife anything. Especially, since she ( the wife) hasn't brought anything to her attention. The wife knows who she married, a bum. So why visit that crap on someone else. Just Deal! Go home and go rock yourself in a corner.
 
No, no and no. She shouldn't have went to dinner with him. That was dumb and its escalating things and adding fuel to the fire. Why is sleeping with him even an option? That is 100x worse than dinner and gives the wife an excuse to cause further issues at work or outside of work (by beating that arse), but this time she'd be justified. If it were me, I'd let wifey know publicly that I have never accepted her man's invitations, that her bullisht isn't appreciated, and if it continues, it will be taken to HR.
 
GetHappy2014 said:
No offense to be taken, I appreciate everyone's opinion. My friend is my friend because we share similar values as is probably the case with you all. So, some of the decisions she makes usually aligns with my thinking (not always). So I was in support of her going on the date with Wifey's husband (although she told me afterwards). She can absolutely 'hold her own' . He treated her with respect, she was wined and dined on Wifey's dime. Rode in her car. That is sweet revenge.

I will agree that giving up the cooch is giving away too much of herself. However, wifey was too weak to deal with husband. She was too weak to leave his behind for the trifling hoe he probably is....

Suggesting that my friend reads "I strongly advise you and your friend to read the book: "Why Men Don't Love Women Like You" , by G. Lambert." is quite unnecessary, in this situation. Because this is a one time event for her. This doesn't usually happen to her. The point of my post was to figure out how to exact revenge on the wife. Instead wifey needs to read that book... For clinging to a bum of a husband. And punishing innocent people because she is to weak to leave him.
Click to expand...

No, he didn't. Just because some arsehole, kang, fkcuboy, wannabe pimp takes her out in wifey's car does not mean he is treating her with respect. In fact, it's the polar opposite. To think of that as revenge doesn't make any sense. Revenge would be to get wifey in trouble somehow at work.

ETA: Your friend started out on the right track by shutting homebody down at first. Now because your friend got mad that the insecure wife was talkin' ****, she decided to go out on a date...that was the first wrong move...tell her it needs to be the last. Let wifey continue to be the weak idiot and don't fall into their web of foolishness.
 
GetHappy2014 said:
"The wife is creating a hostile work environment so it's a legitimate grievance. "
The wife had been causing a hostile environment months before the dinner date. She went on the date to get back at the wife. Immature? Yes, of course. But I ain't made at her.
Click to expand...

You're entitled to your own opinion but no one sees this as getting revenge on the wife. It sounds more like, "They already think I'm flucking him so I might as well do what I really want to do anyway and just fluck him." That's not revenge. It's justifying reckless behavior.
 
Op tell your friend the best thing to do here is living her life well...

That's really the best revenge
Let the couple tend to their craziness and just tell your friend Sis I love you but let's just move on

If things continue to escalate at work have a meeting with HR

Other than that you and her can go on a girls trip or she can enjoy some time away from the office

I would move on with my happy life and come in to work confident and happy that I have opted to concentrate on more significant things

I know how we all can get caught up in some bull but this can get dangerous and I would not allow anyone to come into my life and cause harm

Good luck op.


The only person I would be viciously upset with is the bleep of a man
He knew he was married and they worked together
He actually created a hostile environment for your friend and put her in harms way
I take that very seriously
The revenge would be on him
 
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