School me. What's your definition of providing?

[sarumoki]

BUT... Since the thread was bumped, let's talk about it! :nod:

Reading through the earlier responses, it seems like the general consensus in this thread (and LHCF in general) is that a man being a provider means that his income is covering all of the household's expenses and then some. What about couples who live in NYC, SF, or wherever else the cost of living is through the roof? What makes a man a provider when living in a place where it's almost a guarantee that both partners will have to work? And please don't say "Well they could just move." That's a terrible answer, imo.

 

[LdyKamz]

BUT... Since the thread was bumped, let's talk about it! :nod:

Reading through the earlier responses, it seems like the general consensus in this thread (and LHCF in general) is that a man being a provider means that his income is covering all of the household's expenses and then some. What about couples who live in NYC, SF, or wherever else the cost of living is through the roof? What makes a man a provider when living in a place where it's almost a guarantee that both partners will have to work? And please don't say "Well they could just move." That's a terrible answer, imo.

Cost of living is high in New York but this is still something that can be done. The men I'm around do make a lot of money. Most of the people in my dating pool are lawyers, doctors, IT managers and they make big bucks. But my friend circle runs the gamut. Teachers, MTA employees, mail room supervisors. They don't get paid a lot but that just means you won't be living in the doorman building in Battery Park. Men with decent jobs and good work ethic can still cover their household. Heck, my father worked 2 jobs to make sure he provided.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Wow, I really should've looked at the date on the first post. I was about to be like "Sis are you okay? Blink twice if you need help."

lol I thought about the sunken place when I read this

 

[sarumoki]

Cost of living is high in New York but this is still something that can be done. The men I'm around do make a lot of money. Most of the people in my dating pool are lawyers, doctors, IT managers and they make big bucks. But my friend circle runs the gamut. Teachers, MTA employees, mail room supervisors. They don't get paid a lot but that just means you won't be living in the doorman building in Battery Park. Men with decent jobs and good work ethic can still cover their household. Heck, my father worked 2 jobs to make sure he provided.

MTA workers get money like that? You know, I know a guy that just took the MTA exam... He's cute too...

 

[sarumoki]

lol I thought about the sunken place when I read this

It's amazing what can change in a few years.

 

[PrissiSippi]

MTA workers get money like that? You know, I know a guy that just took the MTA exam... He's cute too...

Say heeeey Zaddy

It's amazing what can change in a few years.

So amazing. Four years of growth I tell ya is mind blowing.

 

[UmSumayyah]

BUT... Since the thread was bumped, let's talk about it! :nod:

Reading through the earlier responses, it seems like the general consensus in this thread (and LHCF in general) is that a man being a provider means that his income is covering all of the household's expenses and then some. What about couples who live in NYC, SF, or wherever else the cost of living is through the roof? What makes a man a provider when living in a place where it's almost a guarantee that both partners will have to work? And please don't say "Well they could just move." That's a terrible answer, imo.

People have to decide what's most important to them. What they think they can get (and what they can realistically get, not always the same thing lol) is also a factor.

 

[LdyKamz]

MTA workers get money like that? You know, I know a guy that just took the MTA exam... He's cute too...

Some can make a lot of money. Most aren't paid like that but I think they are making a decent average income where they can afford to provide a modest lifestyle. I used to date a train conductor (he would always let me ride with him in that little room where they open and close the train doors) He was paid. He had a crazy stupid big house in Jersey but he worked nearly everyday. He was working all the time. I had a sneaking suspicion he was married so that didn't last long.

 

[PrissiSippi]

People have to decide what's most important to them. What they think they can get (and what they can realistically get, not always the same thing lol) is also a factor.

I think with the right guy, a girl can get anything. But you must be strategic about getting these things. I think in my first thread I was all about being fair. It's not fair that he has to do all of this and he doesn't get a true return in the end. I didn't know what the return of a wife was anyway because my dad didn't have much of a return other than a home cooked meal everyday. NOW I know and I put great pride and value in how I benefit his life just by me breathing and being me. Health goes up, eat good, I give you joy with the children I bring, I bring variety so life is not mundane, I bring a LOT and should be compensated for such.

Because of this, he is not crazy. I can get a lot. I didn't know this so I let a lot of stuff slide, but I could have been getting this stuff all alone.

 

[momi]

Bahahahahahahaha im sorry y'all. I just wanted to bump this because of the shullbit I posted in the OP. Ohhh how we learn and grow.

I stopped reading after half.

 

[Petal26]

I know this is old. IMO a man providing for me means he takes care of all the expenses, and I work because I choose to.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I stopped reading after half.

Happy Halloween cuz I was TRICKED no treat in this thread

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Happy Halloween cuz I was fuggin TRICKED no treat in this thread

Was this another SO or just basically a different you, lol? If you're the only one who changed, how'd you shift that dynamic in your relationship?

 

[PrissiSippi]

Was this another SO or just basically a different you, lol? If you're the only one who changed, how'd you shift that dynamic in your relationship?

Same SO, different me.

I have no idea. I guess in a sense he was my game changer. (I needed to write this. I never thought of it like this) He was raised by a stay at home mother so of course paying all/most of the bills is his normal. Things changed once we went from gf/bf to married. After that he took on all the major bills. I DO pay the bull crap bills. I pay like electricity and gas so maybe $150 a month.

The women in my life are work mules. I would have never thought to stay at home. I would have thought it was very lazy and irresponsible for me to not work with all of these degrees. He changed that.