jturner7156
New Member
I hate that my boyfriend has a life and I don't
Get one...hang out with your girlfriends, go to sports games, church, etc!
I hate that my boyfriend has a life and I don't
There's really no reason to still be talking to an ex, especially one that broke your heart.
Ditto, and one area/boundary where I am not doing well. Limited conversation, but conversation nonetheless. I don't want to take that with me into the new year.
@BGT, sounds like SO should let UWG (ugly white girl) know clearly, plainly, and calmly that there is no longer a place for her in his life if she continues to try to insert herself in his new relationship. She can either fall way back, or get erased from the picture.
Also, why do you have access to what is going on on her facebook? That's only causing you additional and unnecessary worry. I would delete and block her.
As for your SO, sounds like he is letting you know that this isn't someone he wants to communicate with... so I'd focus on growing your relationship with him.
Don't let UWG get to you
Explore your loneliness to see if it is the normal need for connectedness, or a sign of injury that needs to be healed.
Be aware that romantic feelings, though a good thing, can disguise deep loneliness and confuse how you pick people.
Become deeply involved in your friendships, and value the good things you're getting out them; this can fulfill you inside and help resolve the tendency to romanticize platonic friendships.
Keep at it CarLiTa, somewhere along the way you learned or were taught that your needs mattered less than others. What you want and what you want to do is important. Your wishes and dreams matter. In therapy I realized that I was always putting others, particularly those I love, ahead of me. You deserve to put yourself first. Let others take care of their stuff. I literally sometimes have to say out loud to myself, that's not my problem.
A friend of mine sent this to me in an email and I wanted to pass it along to my fellow single but still fabulous ladies of the relationship random thoughts thread:
"Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less."
I've been reading this book since the weekend:
"Boundaries in Dating," which can be found here:
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Da...0342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322803129&sr=8-1
It is amazing. Thanks so much for recommending it, barbiesocialite. So far, I'm reading it without stopping, but I will want to take time to focus on specific sections, because it's giving me so much to think about.
One thing that I find striking about it is the huge emphasis on non-dating relationships, on DEEP FRIENDSHIPS... to help us learn about ourselves, to be frank in helping us identify our weaknesses, to cure loneliness, to help us grow and give us balance when we DO find ourselves in a romantic relationship.
And, something that pertains to a lot of what we post in this thread, "loneliness"... or the implied feeling that many of us are waiting for a man to come into our life and that things will be grand, that we feel empty in some ways without that presence.
The authors say:
Everyone in this thread You ladies - we ladies - are all so beautiful. :heart2:
Thank u so much for this post, hopeful.
Love this!!!! Saw it in your siggy and had to copy + paste!
Those quotations are so on point. This book is exactly what I need. Thanks, girl!