***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

Status
Not open for further replies.
Gosh why do I want to talk to him. He was one of those...you are a great girl and you will make some guy really happy. I hated him, now I know he was doing me a favor by not trying to start anything with me.

I miss my late night call buddy.
 
This negro stays resurfacing outta nowhere. It doesn't bother me, I just find it funny. I don't see those pics of him and his "boo" on his page anymore. Knew that wasn't gonna last when he hit me up asking about us hanging out again.
 
Last edited:
BGT said:
There's really no reason to still be talking to an ex, especially one that broke your heart.
Click to expand...

Ditto, and one area/boundary where I am not doing well. Limited conversation, but conversation nonetheless. I don't want to take that with me into the new year.
 
A friend of mine sent this to me in an email and I wanted to pass it along to my fellow single but still fabulous ladies of the relationship random thoughts thread:

"Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less."
 
Last edited:
CarLiTa said:
Ditto, and one area/boundary where I am not doing well. Limited conversation, but conversation nonetheless. I don't want to take that with me into the new year.
Click to expand...

It's SO doing it. :sad: This ugly white girl has been a major irritant in my life. She dumped him in May and as soon as we started dating in August, all of a sudden she wants to talk about their relationship. :rolleyes: Never mind the fact she didn't talk to him May-July. :rolleyes: The first 2 months of our relationship, she did nothing but mourn the relationship she voluntarily ended. Wanted him to come over and talk, wanting to show up at his job and talk because she missed him.

She's racist too. When she found out he was dating a black girl (he's white/Filipino), she called me a "sista friend". She wrote a status on FB about Obama and one of her friends commented, "Let's not Re-Nigg 2012). And she "liked" it. This is obviously someone who doesn't like nor respect me and our relationship. I understand that they've been friends for a long time, but I don't see the purpose of even maintaining a relationship with this person.

We were together Monday and she texted him. I saw her name on his phone before he locked the screen and asked who was texting him, and he said it was someone he didn't want to talk to.
 
Last edited:
It was all going so well until he asked about long term and giving myself to him totally. I felt my chicken wings fluttering.
 
i wish my brain went numb for just an hour or so. thoughts are getting the best of me. this is soooooo one sided. you have the care and the no care at all, i think.
 
BGT, sounds like SO should let UWG (ugly white girl) know clearly, plainly, and calmly that there is no longer a place for her in his life if she continues to try to insert herself in his new relationship. She can either fall way back, or get erased from the picture.

Also, why do you have access to what is going on on her facebook? That's only causing you additional and unnecessary worry. I would delete and block her.

As for your SO, sounds like he is letting you know that this isn't someone he wants to communicate with... so I'd focus on growing your relationship with him.

Don't let UWG get to you:hug2:
 
CarLiTa said:
@BGT, sounds like SO should let UWG (ugly white girl) know clearly, plainly, and calmly that there is no longer a place for her in his life if she continues to try to insert herself in his new relationship. She can either fall way back, or get erased from the picture.

Also, why do you have access to what is going on on her facebook? That's only causing you additional and unnecessary worry. I would delete and block her.

As for your SO, sounds like he is letting you know that this isn't someone he wants to communicate with... so I'd focus on growing your relationship with him.

Don't let UWG get to you:hug2:
Click to expand...

CarLiTa

We're not FB friends. I've never met the girl, but she has a very open page and anyone can see everything on it. :look: Mine is super private, and I know that was burning her up so much because 3 of her friends requested me. :rolleyes:

He and I talked this afternoon, and he did tell me that they still talk about stuff lie family and school and work, but they don't talk about us. As long and she keeps me out her mouth, I'm OK...I guess. I don't want to demand that he not do stuff since we've only been together 3.5 months, but I don't like it. Like I said, I don't see a reason why they need to keep talking.
 
I think Drew likes me. He is ALWAYS complimenting me on my clothes, my personality, my intelligence. We talked for four hours straight the other day. Unfortunately, I have no interest in him. He is SO socially awkward (like, in the gross way) and he doesn't have a clear direction in life yet and we're seniors. :ohwell: Plus he's told me his family is racist (he's dated an Asian girl and a biracial girl in the past). :ohwell: We have a lot in common personality wise and he's a really nice guy, but I just can't get past the social misfit-ness. :nono:
 
I've been reading this book since the weekend:
"Boundaries in Dating," which can be found here:
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Da...0342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322803129&sr=8-1


It is amazing. Thanks so much for recommending it, barbiesocialite. So far, I'm reading it without stopping, but I will want to take time to focus on specific sections, because it's giving me so much to think about.

One thing that I find striking about it is the huge emphasis on non-dating relationships, on DEEP FRIENDSHIPS... to help us learn about ourselves, to be frank in helping us identify our weaknesses, to cure loneliness, to help us grow and give us balance when we DO find ourselves in a romantic relationship.

And, something that pertains to a lot of what we post in this thread, "loneliness"... or the implied feeling that many of us are waiting for a man to come into our life and that things will be grand, that we feel empty in some ways without that presence.

The authors say:
Explore your loneliness to see if it is the normal need for connectedness, or a sign of injury that needs to be healed.
Click to expand...

Be aware that romantic feelings, though a good thing, can disguise deep loneliness and confuse how you pick people.
Click to expand...

Become deeply involved in your friendships, and value the good things you're getting out them; this can fulfill you inside and help resolve the tendency to romanticize platonic friendships.
Click to expand...
 
My ex came by to talk to me. He seemed so genuine. I know myself and it is hard for me not to give a person a chance to redeem themself. Nonetheless, it's going to take a miracle for me to even want to go back down that past road.
 
Everyone in this thread :bighug: You ladies - we ladies - are all so beautiful. :heart2:

hopeful said:
Keep at it CarLiTa, somewhere along the way you learned or were taught that your needs mattered less than others. What you want and what you want to do is important. Your wishes and dreams matter. In therapy I realized that I was always putting others, particularly those I love, ahead of me. You deserve to put yourself first. Let others take care of their stuff. I literally sometimes have to say out loud to myself, that's not my problem.
Click to expand...

Thank u so much for this post, hopeful.

MzLady78 said:
A friend of mine sent this to me in an email and I wanted to pass it along to my fellow single but still fabulous ladies of the relationship random thoughts thread:

"Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less."
Click to expand...

Love this!!!! Saw it in your siggy and had to copy + paste!

CarLiTa said:
I've been reading this book since the weekend:
"Boundaries in Dating," which can be found here:
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Da...0342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322803129&sr=8-1


It is amazing. Thanks so much for recommending it, barbiesocialite. So far, I'm reading it without stopping, but I will want to take time to focus on specific sections, because it's giving me so much to think about.

One thing that I find striking about it is the huge emphasis on non-dating relationships, on DEEP FRIENDSHIPS... to help us learn about ourselves, to be frank in helping us identify our weaknesses, to cure loneliness, to help us grow and give us balance when we DO find ourselves in a romantic relationship.

And, something that pertains to a lot of what we post in this thread, "loneliness"... or the implied feeling that many of us are waiting for a man to come into our life and that things will be grand, that we feel empty in some ways without that presence.

The authors say:
Click to expand...

Those quotations are so on point. This book is exactly what I need. Thanks, girl!
 
Lucie I hit two years post this past summer. I am currently in kinky twists. My daughter who is in college is natural too and she was wearing her big pretty fro over Thanksgiving break. Her hair and your hair make me want to take these twists out sooo bad. Bet your straightened hair will be purty too:).
 
hopeful, I had NO CLUE you had a daughter in COLLEGE! Wow! I actually combed my hair out, washed it and DCed it. I think I may rock a 'fro more often. But it only maked my "hand in hair," disease worse.

LOL @ us talking about hair in a relationship thread. Hahaha!
 
I know! Ha ha. Well it is the "Random" Thoughts thread lol. I have a daughter in college and a daughter in middle school. We are all natural:).
 
At the club...dancing...laughing at the drunk idiots fighting....but you've been on my mind the whole.time. I haven't heard from you in a while. That's not like us.....

*sigh* don't. Please don't. At least not with me thinking everything is fine.

Sent from my pretty red Inspire, excuse the typos!
 
I can pretend that I'm not lonely
But I'll be constantly fooling myself
I can pretend that it don't matter
But I'll be sitting here lying to myself
Some say love ain't worth the buck
But I'll give every dime I have left
To have what I've only been dreaming about

Everybody wants something
Better want something
What are you living for?
Everybody needs something
Fighting for something
I know what you're fighting for

We all want someone there to hold
We just want somebody
We all wanna be somebody's one and only
We all wanna be warm when it's cold

No one wants to be left scared and lonely
We all want the same thing
 
Going to a Christmas party with dh on Saturday. I'm getting excited. Getting my nails done this evening and wearing a new dress. Also, I usually go bare-legged but I'm wearing sheer hose for a change. I love dressy affairs:yep:.
 
ITA Katherina
I love this thread too. For the most part we all stay loving and supportive. It feels like a safe place. I have learned so much from the ladies here about love, loneliness, sisterhood, kindness, perseverance, and on.


Katherina said:
Everyone in this thread :bighug: You ladies - we ladies - are all so beautiful. :heart2:



Thank u so much for this post, hopeful.



Love this!!!! Saw it in your siggy and had to copy + paste!



Those quotations are so on point. This book is exactly what I need. Thanks, girl!
Click to expand...
 
Dont minimize my feelings after you've hurt them
Dont tell me I'm too sensitive when you know you went too far
Dont act like you dont remember that you said something or deny it
Dont change up what you meant when you know it was intended to pierce
Dont take something i said to you in confidence and throw it in my face when you're angry
Dont yell at me when no one's yelling at you.


You can have someone who seems perfect in every way. But when it's time to disagree, they become unfair. That unfairness can weigh very heavily against all the positive things.


The best remedy for any type of emotional ailment is to do better for yourself in any and every way imaginable. Treat yourself well, love who you are and dont let anybody cause you to question yourself and your core. Dont allow anyone to manipulate your mind just because they dont agree with what you have said or your view on things. Sometimes these very folks dont even think they are doing anything wrong, they believe they are helping you "improve"...

But they are not. What they do not realize is that they are causing you to share less, keep stuff to yourself because you dont want to hear their crap.

They get so caught up in their point, they dont see any validity in yours. If your soul tells you this is wrong, hold tight to that.



*sigh*


hopeful

Thanks again for being just who you are and caring about all of us here...love ya and I'm feeling better now.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

SheenaVee
  • Locked
  • Poll Poll
Request Can I Create An Off Topic Random Thoughts Thread?
Replies
21
Views
4K
Nazaneen
N
kweenameena
LHCF First Date Look Book
2 3 4
Replies
114
Views
5K
caribeandiva
caribeandiva
SurferBabe
  • Sticky
Thread for the heartbroken
40 41 42
Replies
1K
Views
50K
PatDM'T
PatDM'T
nappystorm
Random Thoughts
2 3 4
Replies
94
Views
8K
Eisani
E
Naturefreegirl
Can A Relationship Work If .........
Replies
11
Views
307
Naturefreegirl
Naturefreegirl
Back
Top