ambergirl
Well-Known Member
ambergirl-I totally understand the stance you are taking.
My husband is his daughters parent as much as her mother is. No I am not and never have insinuated that his ex is a beast. That's not or should I say wasn't the purpose of my post. I just thought that her approach was wrong.
The way we established our union is really not the issue. There is nothing wrong with people being cordial initially and getting to know each other while respecting the boundaries. All I want is for his ex-wife to respect them.
I am not a oager nor am I unapproachable. I am not looking for her approval nor do I need it.
I have a daughter too and I love her dearly. This same love will be shown to my husbands daughter because she is an innocent child and also a human being.
It's that simple.
I know all about marrying and the blending of families. I was once a child too
I am glad that you are an advocate from the daughters perspective. I am too.
I would have never married him if I for an instant saw she wasn't a priority to him.
Honestly where would that leave me?
After this all I can say is I see why others leave LHCF.
Just know all that post may not be as hard rock as some of you. Many of us are sensitive and only wish to have sisterhood. I have been through alot in my life.
It just saddens me how at times some can be cruel in the guise of niceness.
Many women search their entire lives or marry more than once to finally find some joy.
I have and I won't allow you to steal mine
OP, I'm sorry you thought I was being cruel. If you look back at my posts that was not and was never my intention.
This isn't about stealing your joy. This is about looking at this issues from all perspectives, not just yours, to better understand why people are behaving the way they are.
I'm not questioning your marriage, your love, your intentions or anything because I don't know you. I'm saying look through the eyes of a 12-13 year old girl who rarely sees her dad because of the distance and now has to come visit him with a brand new stepmom living there that she's never met. Or look through the eyes of the ex, who loves her child, and doesn't understand what could have gone down for two people to commit so quickly.
Again, not judging....just saying through their eyes this situation may look very different. And knowledge is power. If you're at least sensitive to the fact that they may see the situation differently, it will give you the ability to figure out how to deal with it better rather then be offended or angry.
And I'm not downing your husband. I'm saying he probably could have handled this better (and you said that as well).
As for LHCF, I've never understood why people take stuff on here personally. I don't know you or your people
If you think I've gotten your situation entirely wrong, then disregard everything I've said. I've always thought the point of posting stuff anonymously on boards like this is to hear different opinions with the understanding that no one here has an interest one way or the other so you're likely to hear things your friends won't tell you. Yeah some folks on her can be a little extra and a lot mean, but I don't think that's what happened in this thread. Shoot most people thought you were 100% correct and told you to go to the mat so I'm obviously in the minority so you should just ignore my arse if I'm upsetting you.
Rather then signing off of LHCF forever. Just take these comments for what they are....stranger's opinions...and let it go.
