Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

Hi everyone..
I need this thread.
I dont have alot of friends and need some social with other people. However with my car being down and with trying to save to get another one. Im trap in my house on my days off. Cabs cost alot of money to go out into town.

A family member do help with rides to go to work (to pay bills and get food on payday.)and doctor visit(type 1 diabetes)

I missed going to the mall and hang out with people.

So hopefully talking with you ladies will help. Til i get my new car,i can't wait.
 
One other thing me and my mother side of family see me a the black sheep. So they do help ..but always so drama behind it with a few of them.

It super sad but true.

On a other note:
my one old niece had the my sis phone and was calling for over 30mins non stop:badgirl:. :eek:And my sis sit there a let her do it. I super upset with my sis.. Like real sis and you think that funny.
I love my niece she is everything. Because she started working my sis last nerves. :evillaugh:
 
Last edited:
Nay said:
Aww, thanks Hopeful. Sometimes after you type something out, you already see the answer to the question. It wasn't anything too deep. Just me reflecting on how people oftentimes want you to make the first move -- and how I get tired of being the conductor on the friendship train :drunk:
Click to expand...
I didn’t see your post but I completely understand. Sometimes, we have to let go of those who just don’t resonate, despite force, to make way for a new person.

Here’s a funny little story: a girl I work with, I’ve been tired of her for a while. Most of my friends, we just give each other space and are always open to receive. Around the time I gave up on even bothering with her, I made a new friend (@kupenda). There are days where I’m drained or tired or just zoned out and Kupenda always tells me good morning and she’s annoying cheerful so it always gets me in good spirits. Sometimes I feel bad because most mornings she texts me first. Like, I don’t forget about her, but DS, who is completely normal, is draining. He’s a morning, noon and night person :giggle: but she understands. Once I gave up that draining friendship, I’ve been able to allow better energy to move in. The right people won’t drain, whether it’s giving or receiving.
 
Saludable84 said:
I didn’t see your post but I completely understand. Sometimes, we have to let go of those who just don’t resonate, despite force, to make way for a new person.

Here’s a funny little story: a girl I work with, I’ve been tired of her for a while. Most of my friends, we just give each other space and are always open to receive. Around the time I gave up on even bothering with her, I made a new friend (@kupenda). There are days where I’m drained or tired or just zoned out and Kupenda always tells me good morning and she’s annoying cheerful so it always gets me in good spirits. Sometimes I feel bad because most mornings she texts me first. Like, I don’t forget about her, but DS, who is completely normal, is draining. He’s a morning, noon and night person :giggle: but she understands. Once I gave up that draining friendship, I’ve been able to allow better energy to move in. The right people won’t drain, whether it’s giving or receiving.
Click to expand...
:cry3::2inlove::2inlove::2inlove::2inlove:
 
Nay said:
Aww, thanks Hopeful. Sometimes after you type something out, you already see the answer to the question. It wasn't anything too deep. Just me reflecting on how people oftentimes want you to make the first move -- and how I get tired of being the conductor on the friendship train :drunk:
Click to expand...

I understand...been there many times. Being the conductor all the time gets tiring. And it’s unfair. It always feels good when we take turns at being the conductor. It just feels best when relationships are reciprocal.

~~~

@Chazz
Welcome! Thank you for sharing.
 
sarumoki said:
I recently cut a close friend out of my life and objectively I know I did the right thing but it still hurts. :( But she had to go so I'm going to suck it up and keep it moving.
Click to expand...

I'm sooo sorry for the loss of your friendship. *hugs*
My friend and I discussed how much more hurt we are when we have to cut off a female friend vs breaking up with a guy.
 
Last edited:
On another note, I have another friend who I’m pretty sure is going through a midlife crisis. Unfortunately, she will not be honest with me. I guess she thinks I will judge her? I’m hearing and seeing a lot of borderline terrible things she’s doing to her husband and kids (we are all connected socially) that she pretends never happened when she talks to me. I have stopped seeking her out but she still contacts me and basically makes things up, searching for sympathy. I dont know how much longer I can keep listening. I want to be there for her but feel some kind of way that she’s lying to me and pretending that she’s always the victim.
 
JFemme said:
I seriously want new friends. I'm finding it hard to connect though these days. I'm quick to push back, delay or make excuses not to get close to people. ...I think I'm way too measured, rigid in ways that I want to give up....
Click to expand...

Chazz said:
I can't wait to hang out with my friends.
Im ready to do something fun.
Click to expand...

We need friends huh? I’m going to the movies tonight with a group from MeetUp. It’s nice but I need some REAL friends too. I plan to connect with my sorority this fall too. Hopefully I’ll make some friends there. I moved to a new city last year so it’s a challenge starting over. But we can do it ladies.
 
hopeful said:
We need friends huh? I’m going to the movies tonight with a group from MeetUp. It’s nice but I need some REAL friends too. I plan to connect with my sorority this fall too. Hopefully I’ll make some friends there. I moved to a new city last year so it’s a challenge starting over. But we can do it ladies.
Click to expand...
I need to make time to go out with my other friends too. Lately I've been spending time with my line sisters. They've been a lifesaver.
 
hopeful said:
We need friends huh? I’m going to the movies tonight with a group from MeetUp. It’s nice but I need some REAL friends too. I plan to connect with my sorority this fall too. Hopefully I’ll make some friends there. I moved to a new city last year so it’s a challenge starting over. But we can do it ladies.
Click to expand...
Hopeful, in the past I've done a few things with different MeetUp groups. It's something to do to pass some time, but like you said it doesn't really feel like REAL friends -- just folks making do.

I recently reconnected with someone I was friends with 20 years ago. She's a sweet person and I'm cautiously optimistic that perhaps we can develop a new, even better friendship than we had back then. Time will tell. It's crazy how hard it is to really connect with people.
 
Nay said:
Hopeful, in the past I've done a few things with different MeetUp groups. It's something to do to pass some time, but like you said it doesn't really feel like REAL friends -- just folks making do.

I recently reconnected with someone I was friends with 20 years ago. She's a sweet person and I'm cautiously optimistic that perhaps we can develop a new, even better friendship than we had back then. Time will tell. It's crazy how hard it is to really connect with people.
Click to expand...

I agree! It is crazy how hard it is to really connect. Good luck with your reconnection with an old friend.
 
We are all on the same page. Someone actually told me I needed new friends. I wholeheartedly agree. It's just that now that I've gotten rid of people, I find the lack of friends thing kind of nice. Really nice. Then there are those times I want a friend to do such and such. I have the thought but then quickly shrug it off and keep it moving. I don't think I'm going to put myself out there to find new friends. I want to maybe later but not right now.
 
Browndilocks, I feel you. I've been going solo so long, that I've gotten used to it. I've enjoyed the conversations I've had with my reacquainted friend, but I almost don't know "what's supposed to come next" because I'm out of practice. It's like I'm kind of gun shy or jaded and don't have any ideas or expectations on what friendship looks like at this stage of my life. Weird, huh?
 
Nay said:
Browndilocks, I feel you. I've been going solo so long, that I've gotten used to it. I've enjoyed the conversations I've had with my reacquainted friend, but I almost don't know "what's supposed to come next" because I'm out of practice. It's like I'm kind of gun shy or jaded and don't have any ideas or expectations on what friendship looks like at this stage of my life. Weird, huh?
Click to expand...

I feel the same way. I recently joined a women's small group from my church and I like the girls there, but not sure on how to take it to the next level and invite them to things outside of our weekly meeting. Although I am a loner I would like friends. I just have to remind myself that it is a process to try to get to know someone, trust them and then be vulnerable with them. I would love to just have a best friend today, whom I could share all my secrets with and have someone I can depend on, but I have to approach it like dating and get to know people's character before I give them my heart. I have been burnt in the past with people I liked and became friendly with too quickly, because I wanted a friend just to find out they were crazy, needy, jealous, or vindictive. Just like dating I have to look for red flags.

Thankfully, I have been getting better at this. I can have a few conversations with someone and see that they are not someone I would like in my circle. Its funny because before I use to gravitate to these people. I have stopped myself several times in the past from giving a girl my number to keep in touch because of their behavior, energy, and things they've talked about in passing. Also I'm tired of being the Beyoncé in the group. I need friends that are equally yoked and that will uplift, challenge, inspire and motivate me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

SurferBabe
Life Lessons Learned The Hard Way: Dating & Relationship Edition
2
Replies
57
Views
2K
julzinha
julzinha
mischka
The Five Un-Romantic Keys to a Happy Relationship
Replies
24
Views
817
SerenavanderWoodsen
SerenavanderWoodsen
SurferBabe
  • Sticky
Thread for the heartbroken
40 41 42
Replies
1K
Views
51K
PatDM'T
PatDM'T
LadyBlu
Playing The Game
Replies
9
Views
297
amara11
A
Cincysweetie
Someone Please Explain the Whole "Friends First" Thing to Me
Replies
20
Views
672
erokawa
erokawa
Back
Top