Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

My mom & step dad's dog got hit by a car while my step dad was walking her and she was on the leash. I'll save the long details but the driver has paid for the initial vet bill. But you know it wasn't that simple. Dog needs 1 or even 2 more procedures. I told my mom she needs to file a police report. Hasn't done that yet. Said she will tomorrow. She's contacted the lady to ask for her auto insurance. Lady first ask if they can discuss on Monday. Then say no to giving up her insurance information. For whatever reason, my stepdad can't recall what kind of car she was driving, even though the driver took him & the dog to the ER vet. The lady lives in the same apartment complex but said she's out of town. Mom has name, address, and phone number.

I don't understand why mom hasn't filed a police report especially since she has no plate number. And I can't understand why my stepdad can't remember what kind of car he was in.

They had to put our childhood dog down earlier this year. And our other childhood dog a couple years prior. I'm running out of what to tell her they should do when they aren't doing or remember important things.
 
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A couple of days ago I was out minding my business enjoying the afternoon. A guy was walking behind me being weird. So I stopped to let him go, he mumbled something that I didn't hear. I made note of him and kept it moving.

45 mins later I walk into a store and he walks in right after me. He is just staring. The cashier greets him asks if he needs help. He is still standing there staring at me. At this point I ask what the problem was... he says something that neither myself or the cashier here.

She gathers something is wrong and engages me in the store. He finally leaves. She asks if I know him I tell her no and that he was behind me earlier. She tells me to be careful and I stay in the store a bit longer.
I send a description of him to my friends JIC.

My gf calls me and I just couldn't hold it together. I was so angry and upset. She told me she would come get me but I was already on my way home.
 
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Naw don’t try to act like you’re so helpful now. When I needed you, you couldn’t be there. I know for certain that I can never depend on you. And you’re disrespectful of my time. And manipulative as well, but you’re always complaining about someone doing you wrong. F*** that, I can just love you from a distance. Me and me kid always alone anyway. What a parent.
 
ItsMeLilLucky said:
Naw don’t try to act like you’re so helpful now. When I needed you, you couldn’t be there. I know for certain that I can never depend on you. And you’re disrespectful of my time. And manipulative as well, but you’re always complaining about someone doing you wrong. F*** that, I can just love you from a distance. Me and me kid always alone anyway. What a parent.
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(((Hugs)))

Crackers Phinn said:
Everybody can stop sending me text messages that so-so got out of jail and need help.

That ain’t none of my business.
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People are a trip.
 
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This has been such an emotionally draining week. I just retreated into myself this weekend which is unlike me.

I was laid off. First time I haven't had a job in over a decade. On top of everything else.

I don't know how to feel. Right now I am just trying to eat and go to the gym. I tend to not eat when I am under emotional distress. The gym has been a place where I can stop thinking for a while.

My therapist had to leave town so my appointment was pushed back. I will try journaling and see if helps.
 
I actually don’t want it back. Because now he could never fix his mouth to ask me for anything again.
Crackers Phinn said:
@Ganjababy

I won't quote in case you want to erase.

You say his funky :moon: apology is enough for you but the first words you typed are that you are crying. Are those tears of happiness? I'm betting they are tears of pissed tf off! Stop forgiving these people. You sitting up crying while he off somewhere carefree and not thinking about returning the money he accepted from you is not okay!

Listen, I got 3 brothers. 2 out of 3 are disappointments. They never remember what they did to anybody and the whole world is mean or crazy for accusing them of anything. The only way to deal with somebody like that is not to deal with them.

I know that I'm a broken record with this but my motto when dealing with people boils down to the lyrics of the gambler.

You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run

I have walked away from a whole lot of people who tried to get over on me and am better off for it.
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I am trying to be more assertive with my family. Some of them really take the piss. I paid for a close family member to come and visit me. The ticket was $800. I only did it because I was having a family party and I knew this person could not afford to come and she would feel left out.

She missed the plane! I could not claim it back on my credit card insurance because I was not travelling with her. She was too cheap to buy travel insurance for herself. She never apologized. She rang me from the airport and said that she could not “be bothered” and was going back home (from the airport). This was after she was tried to argue with them to let her on the plane after they had closed the door.

She never apologized. Someone else offered to buy her another ticket and she told them that she did not want them to waste their money. But I guess she was okay with my money being wasted.

One family inadvertently told me that she said that I am kind because I am showing off. That I think I am better than other people and I show it by showing off through my kindness. I was flabbergasted! The relative who relayed this to me said that they did not believe this. They felt Thad that our mutual relative even thought this way. I was so glad they told me.

I could not believe someone could turn kindness and love into something so ugly. This has changed the dynamics of our relationship forever. There is a lot more but this was the culmination of a lot of negativity (which started in childhood/ignited by an emotionally abusive narcissistic mother who ignited jealousy and division amongst her children) and I had enough of this family member and alll the negativity that I tried to fix on my own.

Anyway I am having family visit again. This time I did not offer to buy any plane tickets. In fact I have learned my lesson. I have stopped sending money to my deadbeat family members, most of the time it was behind my husbands back. I feel lighter.

But I just found out that this family member was planning to come to my home uninvited for the latest family holiday at my house.

I don’t know if I am overreacting but I told her to never ever come to my home without clearing it with me first. Ever. I felt bad saying it but indignant that she would assume she could just come to my house like that. Especially after treating me like that!

I don’t understand how she could be planning to come to my house for 2 weeks without even speaking to me about it? What kind of madness is that?
 
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@BrownBetty I had something similar happen to me recently. It seemed everything was falling apart and the person I needed to be there was out of town too. It was a dark month or so but I ended up finding new people to help me and going in a better direction. Hang in there, keep pressing forward and finding the resources you need and the support you need :kiss:. We are with you in spirit and cheering you on. Things will work out.
 
In a little over a week, I'll be back in NYC. There's no place like home. I'm getting excited about spending time with my grandmother. She loves when I bring her honey and pistachios from the farmers market. She really gets a kick out of them being all the way from California. :) I'm trying to think of what else I can take her.
 
So instead of taking the lady who hit their dog to small claims court my parents decided to settle with her insurance company. $900. Which isn't anywhere near what they'll need for the dog's surgery.

She asked if my brother or me would apply for a vet credit card.

No ma'am. My step-dad has 3 cars to his name and between the 2 of them someone's credit should qualify for a loan.
 
hopeful said:
@BrownBetty
How are you doing? Just checking in on you.
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I'm ok, thanks @hopeful.

Don't quote
The last two weeks have been awful. I felt as if I was drowning. Anxiety + panic attacks. It has been brutal but I'm surviving.
Going to therapy and working through it. I saw my therapist and cried for a while. I cried off my mascara and brows... I'm trying to just make it to the other side.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Since hurricane season is half the year the trip on that scary Pontchartrain bridge is put off til next year. We are going to New Mexico where I have already bought groupons for the rattlesnake museum.
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New Mexico trip sounds great. I’ve been to Santa Fe a couple times and really enjoyed it.

Crackers Phinn said:
Of course there was a welcome home from jail barbecue.
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Of course there was :nono: :lol:.
 
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