Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

Leeda.the.Paladin said:
My friend is pregnant and heavily hinted that she wants me to throw her a gender reveal party. While I’m not a fan of such parties, I am happy to do both that and the baby shower because she has been praying and praying for this baby. However I will have to think on logistics since I’ll be out of town for almost 2 weeks after she finds out the gender so I’m not sure what to do...
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Is she in a rush? Is there a way she can move the appointment up to move the party up? Or... move the appointment back so you can be there? If someone was offering to do that for me, I’d definitely try to make it work out if it’s practical.
 
@onyxdreams I don't know how old your daughter is but I'm in my early 30s and I have two sisters in their 20s. If one of us found ourselves in your daughter's situation, my mother would be hitting the roof and wondering where she went wrong in parenting us. You're not being negative you're stating facts. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Help as much as you can but your health must be #1.
 
I am literally crying right now. I have 3 brothers and 2 of them are such disappointments. One of them finally apologized to me for treating me like poop. That’s all I needed. An apology. He claimed that he does not remember me ever sending him money to bail out his behind every couple years. That I was money hungry and I should move on. I sent him emails where I have paid his lawyers fees and airplane ticket receipts which I have bought.

Turns out the idiot really has selective memory. For the first time ever. He apologized. I really appreciate the apology. I forgive him. He is successful now. He never, ever offered to pay back the thousands I have spent on him. But that’s okay. He apologized and that is enough for me...
 
@Ganjababy

I won't quote in case you want to erase.

You say his funky :moon: apology is enough for you but the first words you typed are that you are crying. Are those tears of happiness? I'm betting they are tears of pissed tf off! Stop forgiving these people. You sitting up crying while he off somewhere carefree and not thinking about returning the money he accepted from you is not okay!

Listen, I got 3 brothers. 2 out of 3 are disappointments. They never remember what they did to anybody and the whole world is mean or crazy for accusing them of anything. The only way to deal with somebody like that is not to deal with them.

I know that I'm a broken record with this but my motto when dealing with people boils down to the lyrics of the gambler.

You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run

I have walked away from a whole lot of people who tried to get over on me and am better off for it.
 
Movie night with my parents and sister was so much fun. John Wick was only OK. I'll go find the John Wick thread to complain.

I was crying laughing at my parents the whole time though because they're having a hard time adapting to how fancy movie theaters are now. My mother kept waving the server down in the theater and then catching an attitude when she wouldnt stop. Lol I was like lady! would you please use your card so she can see you need her. My father was just sitting there too afraid to move because of the announcements at the beginning saying they would remove people :lachen: I couldn't stop laughing at them! They had a good time anyway.
 
I just landed in Salt Lake City, UT to visit my bestie. I will be here on vacation for 10 days! I’m so exited to see her and spend time away from work. We haven’t seen each other in a year since I dropped her off to airport. We used to spend every weekend together it’s crazy.

It’s feels like home and the good old days in college, being with her :2inlove:
 
Ganjababy said:
I am literally crying right now. I have 3 brothers and 2 of them are such disappointments. One of them finally apologized to me for treating me like poop. That’s all I needed. An apology. He claimed that he does not remember me ever sending him money to bail out his behind every couple years. That I was money hungry and I should move on. I sent him emails where I have paid his lawyers fees and airplane ticket receipts which I have bought.

Turns out the idiot really has selective memory. For the first time ever. He apologized. I really appreciate the apology. I forgive him. He is successful now. He never, ever offered to pay back the thousands I have spent on him. But that’s okay. He apologized and that is enough for me...
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My brother recently ghosted me during an extremely stressful period dealing with my ill sister.
Its getting easier to let go of that disappointment, and anger but it does rise up out of nowhere at times.

I do wish he would apologize or say something. I've forgiven him, but he will forever be in the sunken place as far as I'm concerned.
 
I love my aunt but she's stupid. She had a boyfriend who was an absolute mooch to the core. He had no steady job, no place of his own, no car, not even his own cell phone plan. Grown arse grandfather with 3 grown arse kids. Two ex wives. He ran my aunt's beemer into disrepair and pitched a fit because SHE wanted to replace HER bmw with a honda. Refusing to buy his own car and god forbid having the responsibility of a car note, he purchases a scooter for himself. Got hit smack on the freeway and dead on the scene. Of course he has no life insurance. A marine, his family only has to pay for half a funeral. So why are they calling my aunt now...even the ex wives. Her FB page looking stupid with his trifling gofundme. And if she pays for this circus act, I'm willing to bet his next of kin will forget all about reimbursing her once they get the settlement money from the person who hit him. #venting
 
theRaven said:
I just landed in Salt Lake City, UT to visit my bestie. I will be here on vacation for 10 days! I’m so exited to see her and spend time away from work. We haven’t seen each other in a year since I dropped her off to airport. We used to spend every weekend together it’s crazy.

It’s feels like home and the good old days in college, being with her :2inlove:
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I thought that I was going to be bored and annoyed by Salt Lake City but it was beautiful. I was absolutely charmed by the place and want to go back. Although, we did not go to anything Latter Day Faith related. Synagogue yes, church no.
 
hopeful said:
@Browndilocks oh my! He rode a scooter on the freeway? Is your aunt heartbroken over his death? She will likely pay for the funeral but hopefully after that she can move on. You know they will not repay her — that is a given : / I hope grief and loneliness don’t lead her to getting with another moocher.
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She is very hurt and I'm hurt that she's hurt. However I do believe that his passing is god's ticket for her out of that situation, as I do not believe she would have ever been truly rid of him, had he not kicked the bucket. She has tried in the past. Many failed attempts. She is disabled and has limited mobility due to an ms diagnosis.

I sometimes wonder about my own life and why I haven't attained certain things yet, but then I have people like her as living examples on what not to do. Not from a judgmental standpoint, but just observations of how things can unfold in life. How pride can have you jacked up and looking crazy. She is a self made millionaire. She opened a little clothing store in the early 90s then met her husband, who also had a little clothing store. Together they opened 6 more stores. They have no children. She was married for almost 25 years and divorced him because she was "tired of his attitude. He's not as attentive as I want". Never paid one bill throughout the entire course of her marriage so even after the divorce, she could still live in the lap of luxury. She knew about the ms diagnosis but it wasn't until after her divorce was final that she started having health issues.

Her ex husband was not the most hands on person, but he did take good care of her. He might not be the one pushing her wheelchair, but he for sure would have hired round the clock people to do so. So it has been hard for me to see her go from that, to a user who cannot even get his own cell phone. I think she filed for divorce over some dumb shaaat and her pride didn't let her pause and truly think about what she was doing. Now in her yearning for companionship, she was willing to go as far as taking care of a nothing arse ninja in his 50s who blatantly used her. Took her car to visit his side hoes. Posting FB selfies from her fly crib. Pitching fits whenever his profiling was threatened. Maybe I wouldn't be reflecting like this if I wasn't enjoying the heck outta this banana rum and if she didn't tag me in that pathetic gofundme post. I wouldn't donate my doo doo, I tell you that much.
 
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Crackers Phinn said:
I thought that I was going to be bored and annoyed by Salt Lake City but it was beautiful. I was absolutely charmed by the place and want to go back. Although, we did not go to anything Latter Day Faith related. Synagogue yes, church no.
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That’s wonderful. I’m actually going hiking tomorrow for the first time. The scenery here is beautiful and so many mountains! Funny enough my bestie is a Mormon. So I’ve been to a few services at the temple with her before.
 
theRaven said:
That’s wonderful. I’m actually going hiking tomorrow for the first time. The scenery here is beautiful and so many mountains! Funny enough my bestie is a Mormon. So I’ve been to a few services at the temple with her before.
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Everywhere I turned around there was a gorgeous snow peaked mountain top just begging to be photographed and sold as an Ansel Adams post card. It was around 70ish degrees during my trip. Not even the least bit cold.
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My dad called me on my bday 2 weeks ago. Didn't answer. Heck didn't even listen to the voicemail until my step mom called me last night. Didn't answer her either. She only called because I never called him back.

I'm over the super awkward 5 minute conversations we have only on birthdays and Christmas. I do exist outside of those times and if they can't bother to talk to me then then you ain't getting me on my birthday and one holiday either.

Me and my step mom are fb friends. She knows I'm alive and well. That's good enough.
 
I went out with a friend yesterday and for the most part I had a good time. But this friend is a hater and I know it. She is confused about how things "just work out" for me. Her words. At some point she called herself competing with me and I welcomed it because while I didn't join her in the competition I was happy to see her attempt to level up and quit being happy with being a basic pick me. But the problem is, with that competition comes jealousy.

While we were at lunch I caught her trying to secretly snap a pic of me. She was texting the whole time so I guess she thought I wouldn't notice. But her phone was angled right at my face. I was like "umm if you want a pic can you tell me so I can stop stuffing my face and pose?" She made up an excuse about her new roommate wanting to know who she was at lunch with. But the secrecy led me to believe she was up to no good. So I go to the bathroom and when I come back I'm behind her and peek over and barely catch a glimpse of a text that says "what is so magical about her?" before she notices me and shuts the screen off quickly. Now this text could have been about anyone but I'm no fool and I know it was about me.

Again, I had a nice time because I wasn't worried about her and more interested in enjoying my meal, shopping and filling myself up emotionally. On the cab ride home I reflected on the day and was proud of myself for not letting her ruin my time. She texted me later offering to go back to the store with me today to exchange an item that I accidentally purchased in the wrong size. I was also going to buy her something that she liked in the store just because. Instead I thanked her and said no thanks that I had other plans. And I do. I plan to go with my sister. lol Idk maybe it's the nice weather but nothing is bothering me that much lately.
 
LdyKamz said:
I went out with a friend yesterday and for the most part I had a good time. But this friend is a hater and I know it. She is confused about how things "just work out" for me. Her words. At some point she called herself competing with me and I welcomed it because while I didn't join her in the competition I was happy to see her attempt to level up and quit being happy with being a basic pick me. But the problem is, with that competition comes jealousy.

While we were at lunch I caught her trying to secretly snap a pic of me. She was texting the whole time so I guess she thought I wouldn't notice. But her phone was angled right at my face. I was like "umm if you want a pic can you tell me so I can stop stuffing my face and pose?" She made up an excuse about her new roommate wanting to know who she was at lunch with. But the secrecy led me to believe she was up to no good. So I go to the bathroom and when I come back I'm behind her and peek over and barely catch a glimpse of a text that says "what is so magical about her?" before she notices me and shuts the screen off quickly. Now this text could have been about anyone but I'm no fool and I know it was about me.

Again, I had a nice time because I wasn't worried about her and more interested in enjoying my meal, shopping and filling myself up emotionally. On the cab ride home I reflected on the day and was proud of myself for not letting her ruin my time. She texted me later offering to go back to the store with me today to exchange an item that I accidentally purchased in the wrong size. I was also going to buy her something that she liked in the store just because. Instead I thanked her and said no thanks that I had other plans. And I do. I plan to go with my sister. lol Idk maybe it's the nice weather but nothing is bothering me that much lately.
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I had a "friend" like this once. My very existence was like hot coals on her chest because she had some kind of internal competition that went on whenever we were together. We're not friends anymore :look:
 
Fine 4s said:
@Browndilocks
I've been on here for at least a decade and I do NOT remember you being so funny! I read the first post and started cracking up even when talking about death. You're like Daria from the old school MTV show.
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Daria?? :lol: I think a lot of the humor comes from the lessons I learned out of all the mistakes I've seen and made. I've done a whole lot of growing on this board.
 
Maracujá said:
Any ladies here who have been able to pull out of relationships where you're always doing the 'giving'? If so, how did you recognize this and what was the process like?
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I realized I was avoiding the person for fear that they would need me to do something for them yet again. I also became physically exhausted. The person was emotionally draining and the constant favors and errands, listening to their self induced issues was too much. The final straw was when I almost lost a few pieces of my furniture that she volunteered to hold for me due to her negligence. When I confronted her she tried to lie and put the blame on someone else. When I told her that I knew the full truth she still refused to accept responsibility. That said, pulling back was easy. That was the first time I realized that some people live messy lives and will pull you down with them and show no remorse. I also had to realize that I can't pour into other people from an empty pot. Once I started taking time out for myself it became easier to spot users and even easier to pull away.
 
Maracujá said:
Any ladies here who have been able to pull out of relationships where you're always doing the 'giving'? If so, how did you recognize this and what was the process like?
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For me it has always come with recognizing that I'm feeling used or taken for granted. It doesn't truly materialize until something happens where the person is upset because I didn't inconvenience myself to accommodate them. My spirit always tells me when something isn't right - even the most subtle of things. There are always signs. So I say a little prayer asking God to give me clarity and/or an exit out of the relationship. So far, the same thing has happened 3 times. The friend did or said something completely ridiculous; which pushed me to go off on them and cut them cold turkey. IDK if that's the best way out of a relationship, but that's how it happened for me with 3 different people now. I'm also thankful for it.

1 - Friend of 15+ years. Mad that I was out of the country on her birthday and didn't call her fast enough once I got back to say happy belated birthday. Wrote me a nasty text message. Ignoring the fact that there's never been a birthday I didn't call her for and that I wished her a happy bday before I left.

2 - Friend of 20+ years. Mad that I had another friend whom she didn't know, come to town. I had the nerve to go out with my visiting friend and husband and did not invite her to hang with us. She basically got upset that I have other friends.

3 - Friend of 15+ years. Showed up to my house on my only weekend off with wet hair expecting me to style it. Proceeded to get mad and downright nasty when after I finished her hair, I was grilling food that wasn't cooking fast enough so she could eat at that moment.

See...ridiculous. I think about them here and there but I want no parts of them in my life. God has something better for me and I will trust that.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Everywhere I turned around there was a gorgeous snow peaked mountain top just begging to be photographed and sold as an Ansel Adams post card. It was around 70ish degrees during my trip. Not even the least bit cold.
6gzp6f.jpg
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Photographs from my first hike on a mountain. My hiking group was nice, stopping to check on me and waiting for me to catch up :lol: . As I clearly was out of shape and not used to the higher altitude. It took us somewhat over an hour to reach the top.

7A4CAF60-FE61-45A8-B311-847218ED960A.png


84B2CB3B-3D74-4340-9E86-7282799A74DC.png


F9B3C9A5-1EED-4B2C-BF3E-306203F8839A.png


5C027A98-8E78-41E6-B3F6-F5F42D0CCF91.png

012588C4-AC88-4F7C-86EB-DB931D7D7745.png
 
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