Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

Crackers Phinn said:
Me and my home girl flew up to Portland for the day and we hit up the Freaky But True Peculiarium. I don't care what the reviews say, that is the best place in all of Oregon. Since I am a upright religious woman, I did not back these cakes up on Krampus' lap for a selfie with Santa Claus' evil homie but I reaaaaaallllly wanted to. The Dude Where's My Guts exhibit and the Murder Dollhouse had me transfixed! If I could figure out a way to turn a profit I would be in heaven running a store like that.

We found an Irish Pub that served the most beautiful shepherds pie I've ever seen. Unfortunately, it was not the most tasty shepherds pie. Crazy enough the table full of women next to us were also visiting from LA.

I cannot wait until the trip to Roswell. Does happy dance.
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You do some of the most eclectically interesting things.
 
Browndilocks said:
You do some of the most eclectically interesting things.
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Almost 2 years ago my mom died, in the same week a childhood friend of 30+ years died and the month after my college roommate who I'd known for 25 years died. When I got myself together after that I decided to make time to do all the silly crazy stuff I would find excuses not to do. The old man humors me when it comes to doing some of those things. (He won't let me have a purple kitchen tho. :cry3:) I got one friend from my childhood left so I try to run off and do geeky hoodrat things with her before she gets married and mommy'ed this year.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
I got one friend from my childhood left so I try to run off and do geeky hoodrat things with her before she gets married and mommy'ed this year.
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Guess who spoke too soon. I don't know what it is about me as matchmaker and these chicks getting pregnant before walking down the aisle. Okay, I know what it is but dammit they ain't supposed to actually not use the condoms. No more destination wedding in Switzerland.
 
I don't understand people who say they will call you at a certain time and then don't. :confused:
Its not like I was the one who made that 'appointment' of your time.
In fact you wasted my time, as I made myself available to receive your non existent call.
When I don't call or message you, do not complain.
 
^^anger and feeling wronged are coping mechanisms for a lot of people. my mom was like that. she had all these issues with my grandmother, and I said in a million different ways that she would have to spend that energy on herself because we can't convince other people to change or give us the apologies we deserve. It really ate her up. I hope your sister sees the light on that!
 
I’ve been trying to make plans with two of my girlfriends and both are acting flaky. :ohwell: One takes days to respond to texts (she’s been like this with a lot of people for a couple years now) and the other, who I posted about upthread, has gone completely off the grid. She’s not even on her social media now hardly.

I’m not taking this personally because they’re not just doing this with me but it still sucks. I’ve been friends with both women for years and the friend who takes forever to text back, I wanted her advice on something.

Good news is I unexpectedly had a nearly 2 hour chat with my other girlfriend who moved to another state. I miss her so much.
 
I got a revelation this morning. Folks need to be the change they wanna see in others. Being double-minded is not good for the soul. Can’t say you want certain positive outcomes from others, but entertain foolishness. It is still a form of being in victim mode. I choose to work on being the change from within and allow it to radiate outwardly. We have to look at our circle, or what we involve ourselves in and that will give us a clear understanding of where we are at in life and our thought process. It takes a lot of work to figure out the part we play in our circumstances. Nothing is just happening to us.
 
@Evolving78 i totally agree. One of the biggest things for me was not only recognizing and accepting my flaws, but also surrounding myself with people who not only understand and are working on them too, but are working towards the same goals (not necessarily the same but moving forward/positive/up) and most of all, people who understand self worth. Toxic people infect.

Also, with others, during the getting to know a person process, sometimes this can take years. The same way we look to see if a man is right for us by vetting him, we should do the same with friends and not just look at them like “oh, but they’re so nice”. I’ve had people say that so many times just for me to say “he/she is a turd” and it’s not being mean or my typical Capricorn self; it’s because you can’t want to elevate yourself but still be in the sewers with Master Splinter.

Last, sometimes, it can take what you are going through for a person to show you something you didn’t see after knowing then for years. Scary, but true.
 
Saludable84 said:
@Evolving78 i totally agree. One of the biggest things for me was not only recognizing and accepting my flaws, but also surrounding myself with people who not only understand and are working on them too, but are working towards the same goals (not necessarily the same but moving forward/positive/up) and most of all, people who understand self worth. Toxic people infect.

Also, with others, during the getting to know a person process, sometimes this can take years. The same way we look to see if a man is right for us by vetting him, we should do the same with friends and not just look at them like “oh, but they’re so nice”. I’ve had people say that so many times just for me to say “he/she is a turd” and it’s not being mean or my typical Capricorn self; it’s because you can’t want to elevate yourself but still be in the sewers with Master Splinter.

Last, sometimes, it can take what you are going through for a person to show you something you didn’t see after knowing then for years. Scary, but true.
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I agree with all of this! Thanks for sharing your prespective!
 
This was a really good weekend. On Friday, I decided to go to a Meetup event last minute and I'm glad I went...I met some cool people. Yesterday, I went to a beer festival with some friends. I'm not a huge beer drinker, but the admission fee included unlimited samples from all the vendors there and I found a few ciders that I really liked. It was fun just walking around, drinking beer, getting food from food trucks and getting hit on:lol:

Then today a couple of friends and I went to this brunch spot that we had been wanting to try. The food wasn't all that great, but the bottomless mimosas were good and it was fun catching up.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
That would be about 90% of my mothers family. They all on niggynore.
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Lol!

I don't want to have to do that, but my sanity and peace is precious to me. Recently, they tried to manipulate me in to doing something that I wasn't able to do because of a scheduling conflict. I said no, but they kept pressing until I gave the firm NO and the reason why. They were bothered. The other day I was thinking and I remembered another time when they did the same thing. Manipulate me in to doing what they want and then get upset when I say no. I'm too old for this and so are they.
 
mrselle said:
Anybody else have family members who get upset when you don't do what they want you to do when they want you to do it? Its been getting to me lately, but I'm slowly stepping out of my comfort zone of being a people pleaser.
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I’m the introvert extraordinaire in my parts. I crawl in a hole and when I come out, somehow no one says no to me. The above is the exact reason why.

Like, no lie, I have a family member that gets on my everlasting nerves. Things they say and do. :look: So I avoid outings and chats altogether when they start a group chat. “Let’s meet up and go here...” and I say nothing. Then I’ll get a “Saludable, are you free? She still hasn’t answered... Well meet us if you can... I guess she isn’t coming...” I just popped up a few days ago with “let’s go here on this date and time and coordinate so we can all sit together...” I cannot be bothered :laugh:

@Crackers Phinn option may just give you the peace you need. Either way, you may have to ignore.
 
I’m am not chasing nobody. I’m a great friend and person but I’m not going to beg you to be my friend. This one woman that I’ve been trying to link up with to have a friendship keeps flaking on me. She takes 5-6 hours to text back, stands me up on meeting up, like I can’t with her. I invited her out to the movies to see Little. She enthusiastically agreed but said she needs to see if her care is available cause she shares it with her sister. I said cool let me know if you can make it. Girl goes MIA and I never hear from her. I said oh well and saw the movie by myself and enjoyed it. Right after the movie ended she text me that she’s at work. I ain’t even respond. Cause her lying behind just told me the day before that she doesn’t work nights.
This is the second time she’s stood me up on plans and texts me afterwards with an excuse. Chile please. I’m not asking her out for anything anymore. She’s an ultra home body with overbearing parents. I’m not jumping through hoops to get you out the house
 
Royalq said:
I’m am not chasing nobody. I’m a great friend and person but I’m not going to beg you to be my friend. This one woman that I’ve been trying to link up with to have a friendship keeps flaking on me. She takes 5-6 hours to text back, stands me up on meeting up, like I can’t with her. I invited her out to the movies to see Little. She enthusiastically agreed but said she needs to see if her care is available cause she shares it with her sister. I said cool let me know if you can make it. Girl goes MIA and I never hear from her. I said oh well and saw the movie by myself and enjoyed it. Right after the movie ended she text me that she’s at work. I ain’t even respond. Cause her lying behind just told me the day before that she doesn’t work nights.
This is the second time she’s stood me up on plans and texts me afterwards with an excuse. Chile please. I’m not asking her out for anything anymore. She’s an ultra home body with overbearing parents. I’m not jumping through hoops to get you out the house
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Thank you for sharing this. I posted about my friends upthread pulling similar behavior.

My HS friend who told me she's in competition with my relationship and has now gone off the grid, she asked me about having a double date with our SOs a while back. At the time my SO had a lot going on and I told her so, but we planned out what we were going to do. No more than a month later I texted her asking about a double date a couple weeks from then, and she didn't text me until 4 days later, very unusual for her. When she did she said it sounded fun but she wasn't sure if she's supposed to go to her cousin's place that day out of town. Whatever. :rolleyes: I responded, "Ok, just let me know," knowing I wasn't going to hear back. And I didn't. I told SO we could make other plans for that day.

She keeps saying things are going well for her since she got back with her ex-SO but I have my doubts. Either way, I'm not chasing her.
 
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My bestie that I’ve known since we were 12 got married yesterday and she will be a first time mommy before the end of the year at the age of 46.

I’m just giddy cuz the come up is real and she’s getting the baby that she’s been wanting for forever and her husband is crazy about her. I’m soooo happy for her. She deserves every bit of it.
 
My 62 year old uncle has a baby on the way with his 31/32 year old girlfriend or wife? We don't know if they got married. He had three kids with his first wife of 20 years, all of whom are older than the new woman. He has been married twice since the first wife, and supposedly had a vasectomy. Now we are trying to figure out if he had it reversed at 60 something??? This girl is kind of a hood rat too, first clearly black woman we have seen him with in over a decade, she has an older kid who she seems to neglect. The whole scenario has all like :drunk::drunk::drunk:

To make it even more crazy, his son, who is about 39 has another kid on the way with his wife. The men folk in my immediate family are a hot mess.
 
I went away for a overnight stay to see a concert with a friend. I had no idea she snored like a rhino! :(:(:( 5 of us have a girls weekend trip planned but errah because she snores I don't know if I want her to come now. I invited two friends and she is one of them. :badidea:
 
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