Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

[Crackers Phinn]

I want to slap her — I really do She is so annoying .

She is but when I looked at how much it would cost to hire a new person at market rate........She's being paid what she's worth.

 

[LdyKamz]

Over the weekend I almost had the worst brunch experience of my life. My people wanted to go to a place in Brooklyn that I would never be caught in! Never! This place is always crowded, always loud, not to mention the reviews are bad. I tried to warn them about it when it was suggested but they wanted to go so I said fine. When I got there I tried to be a team player and just enjoy the place. However, the place was like a club, loud music, wall to wall packed inside, couldn't talk to each other, 2+ hour wait for a table - mind you this is after waiting outside on line in the freezing cold and having to show ID at the door...FOR BRUNCH!

My people seemed to be having fun singing and dancing to the music and I really tried to enjoy myself but again I came for brunch, I didn't come to sing and dance the day away. I was underdressed - wearing jeans and a sweater while everyone else was in club dresses with heels and beat faces. It was such an odd experience. We finally ended up leaving and going to a place that had the same kind of music but not overcrowded with gyrating 20 somethings all around the place. And then one of my people had the nerve to say "I'm just going with the flow, I wish you would too" which I just took as code for I'm mad you didn't let us stay and turn up at the day club. My thing is I saw they were enjoying themselves but because I wasn't I actually told them they could stay and I would leave. She said that made her feel bad and it was rude of me. So what were my options? Stay and be uncomfortable so they could dance and hang or....pick a place we could ALL agree on? This is why I don't be wanting to hang out with people. Like anyone who knows me would know not to invite me to a place like that! And I would not be offended if they went without me.

 

[Nay]

Ldykmz, your story reminds me of a time my husband and I went to New Orleans with a group of people. At one point they all wanted to go to some crowded street and go bar hopping and stay out until the wee hours of the morning. I'm a be in bed by 12 kind of person, so my husband and I said, "Good night. Have fun," and we went back to the hotel. The next day some folks from the group had an attitude of "Why did y'all even come?" Needless to say, my husband and I travel alone now. Who needs the grief! You do you, and I'm going to do me.

 

[LdyKamz]

Ldykmz, your story reminds me of a time my husband and I went to New Orleans with a group of people. At one point they all wanted to go to some crowded street and go bar hopping and stay out until the wee hours of the morning. I'm a be in bed by 12 kind of person, so my husband and I said, "Good night. Have fun," and we went back to the hotel. The next day some folks from the group had an attitude of "Why did y'all even come?" Needless to say, my husband and I travel alone now. Who needs the grief! You do you, and I'm going to do me.

See I should have done the same and just left and called it a day. I know already that I'm not cut out to be "part of the group". Some of the stuff people do puzzle me. Like even when we were at the next place, we sat at the bar. When we got the check and put our cards in I got up to go to the bathroom. I come out and one of them is holding my stuff in their hands while some random person is sitting in my seat. I was like I got up to go to the bathroom not to leave and they were like "but we're getting ready to leave anyway" I just can't stand people. I would never touch someone else's things and handle their personal items to let a random stranger sit down.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

Still no venue for my friend's baby shower. Bringing your food sounds like a great idea, until you want a place that's central, has plenty parking, and cheap. Central = downtown and downtown, has meters, and places that want you to use their catering and aren't cheap.

Oh and the date is in peak wedding season.

Other places have been axed because:
Not in good neighborhoods - that's relative
Too far - from who's house exactly? Everyone doesn't live in the same area.
Too expensive - 300 isn't that bad imo, especially when it's being split
Other people we know used it recently - say what now?
Parking - it's not the club, 500 people aren't coming, people will be able to park.


-_-

 

[RUBY]

I've had an epiphany recently, I realized that fundamentally throughout my friendship with someone I've been relegated to a 2nd class/3rd class friend while I don't treat my friends like that.

Now that shes been sick and she can't/hasn't been able to or straight up ditched by her regular 1st class friends now she appreciates my friendship. I realized that I've been making excuses, letting things go and thinking the best of people all these years when in fact she hasn't really wanted to hang with me or its ok to on the odd occasion when she feels like it.

So now I said to myself I'm tired. I'm tired of making time for people who don't make time for me. I'm letting go, falling all the way back. I've been feeling like this since last year.

Why did she ring me talking about she misses me, am I upset with her because I haven't called/messaged (basically actively chasing her)? And when I said no then goes on to tell me how she appreciates me and doesn't want to loose me as a friend especially as she isn't hanging with her 1 class group of friends because of her ill health and how they have mistreated her. Then she goes on to tell me about a holiday (that she didn't invite me on or tell me about) that she lost her deposit on because she was sick. So you want me to commiserate with you about you missing out on a holiday that I wasn't invited to? She told on herself.

 

[hopeful]

@RUBY good thing you decided to cut her loose. She has a lot of nerve.

 

[RUBY]

@RUBY good thing you decided to cut her loose. She has a lot of nerve.

Honesty, I'm not gonna cut her loose but now that I'm fully aware of how she sees me, I'll behave accordingly. In fact I've become acutely aware of how everyone sees me and treats me. In most cases it's not a pretty picture. But I'm definitely going to stop prioritising, pursuing and engaging with people who don't reciprocate. And in that vein other people will be the ones that cut themselves loose from me.

 

[Nay]

But I'm definitely going to stop prioritising, pursuing and engaging with people who don't reciprocate.

That was gold right there. You nailed it on the head.

Folks will take your best and give you the very least. They will monopolize the conversation and give you five minutes at the end with a,"What about you?" and get off the phone before you can answer good. They will seek you out when they're lonely and/or bored and ghost you when something better comes along. I speak from experience. And I've stopped prioritizing, pursuing, and engaging with people who don't reciprocate.

 

[BrownBetty]

Morning ladies!
Stay warm!

Life has been quiet and I am ok with that . My new thing is my plants. I bought a couple and I am committed to not murdering them.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Morning ladies!
Stay warm!

Life has been quiet and I am ok with that . My new thing is my plants. I bought a couple and I am committed to not murdering them.

I have been barely keeping plants alive for the past 6 months. I definitely do not have a green thumb but I enjoy it!

I have been a recluse all month. I just want to be at home relaxing or outside playing with DS. January is always kind of like that for me, but especially so now. I get moody and contemplative about everything. Not necessarily a bad thing, but just something I am noticing. I have made some decisions about big things and small things. Done some decluttering. Binge watched some shows I love.

 

[BrownBetty]

There is a new indoor plant thread over in the home/cooking forum, check it out.

I have been barely keeping plants alive for the past 6 months. I definitely do not have a green thumb but I enjoy it!

I have been a recluse all month. I just want to be at home relaxing or outside playing with DS. January is always kind of like that for me, but especially so now. I get moody and contemplative about everything. Not necessarily a bad thing, but just something I am noticing. I have made some decisions about big things and small things. Done some decluttering. Binge watched some shows I love.

 

[Chrismiss]

My assistant dialed my extension and asked if I wanted to take a sales call (telemarketer). I told her to send it to voice mail cuz my home girl was visiting and we were talking. My door was open so when I hung up we both heard her say "She told me to transfer you to voice mail".

LOOOOOL!! I know I'm late but that's hilarious!

 

[weaveadiva]

One of my good friends from college was supposed to come visit this summer. I've been asking her for months, even volunteered to find the ticket and pay.

She was supposed to be booking her flight by the end of January.

Today she tells me she can't make it and I started crying. I guess I miss her more than I thought. I had already started planning things to do.

Her reason for not coming isn't something I can get into here. It's a valid reason and once I get outta my feelings I'll understand it better but right now all I can see is that we could have had this planned and out of the way months ago.

Just had to vent. I was really looking forward to hanging with her. She is a friend I can be my true self around.

 

[reallynow]

My good gf from college can be exhausting. I love her, lord knows I do but girl. How many times are you going to leave the husband you just married because you got knocked up for the second time? Now you are 2 children in with someone we TRIED to tell you about. And you're leaving for the 50+11 time. Then you gonna tell us you don't want to discuss it. I guess not. We would never say "I told you so" but we know you can feel it through the phone.

 

[Browndilocks]

California recently passed a law that says it is no longer a felony to knowingly pass HIV to an unsuspecting partner. It is also no longer a felony to knowingly donate HIV positive blood. I am very bothered by this and completely disgusted.

ETA: I don't even know why I posted in this particular thread. I forgot this was about non romantic relationships. Sorry!

 

[LostInAdream]

California recently passed a law that says it is no longer a felony to knowingly pass HIV to an unsuspecting partner. It is also no longer a felony to knowingly donate HIV positive blood. I am very bothered by this and completely disgusted.

ETA: I don't even know why I posted in this particular thread. I forgot this was about non romantic relationships. Sorry!

What the what??

 

[firecracker]

California recently passed a law that says it is no longer a felony to knowingly pass HIV to an unsuspecting partner. It is also no longer a felony to knowingly donate HIV positive blood. I am very bothered by this and completely disgusted.

ETA: I don't even know why I posted in this particular thread. I forgot this was about non romantic relationships. Sorry!

Wow I didn't know this. That sucks and is wrong on so many levels.

 

[Browndilocks]

@firecracker

 

[firecracker]

Hey Browndilocks. Happy 2019. How you doin? Lmbo

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I feel like if I click my heels 3 times Blossssom might show up.

 

[firecracker]

I feel like if I click my heels 3 times Blossssom might show up.

She just might. LMBO

 

[bellatiamarie]

My friend met this guy in front of her job last week and they’d been texting back and forth for a few days before he called. She said he was driving at the time he called her. She said that they hadn’t been on the phone for 2 minutes and she heard him get into a road rage incident with a woman and he yelled out at her “well f*** you then b****!” My friend said she clutched her pearls, hung up the phone, and immediately blocked his number without hesitation.

Fast forward to today she gets a bouquet of flowers at her job from him with a note saying something like.... that’s not who I am... I’m so sorry....let’s start over.... blah blah blah! So, she feels in her words “moved” by this gesture. I told her he done showed you who he really is and you need to go with your first reaction on this one and throw those flowers away and keep it moving. She’s planning to call him and thank him

Why even open that door back up? What would y’all do? I need some more insight because all the women at her office were like “girl you need to call and talk to him” “give him a chance” Chile I say throw him and the flowers away OK. What y’all think.

 

[Nay]

I feel like if I click my heels 3 times Blossssom might show up.

Not Blossssom. I remember her. She was fun. And if you click them yet again, Buffalo Soldier may appear. Does anyone remember her? I sometimes wonder whatever happened to past members.

 

[shespoison]

A friend reached out to me because her father needed a job. I connected him with someone and he got an interview.

She messaged me asking me for the friends number because she wanted to send a “thank you” gift. I asked if her father got the job...

She didn’t answer that. She just asked for the address again.

Was it wrong of me to ask or is she bugging? She wanted the hook up but didn’t think it was necessary to tell me how it went.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

A friend reached out to me because her father needed a job. I connected him with someone and he got an interview.

She messaged me asking me for the friends number because she wanted to send a “thank you” gift. I asked if her father got the job...

She didn’t answer that. She just asked for the address again.

Was it wrong of me to ask or is she bugging? She wanted the hook up but didn’t think it was necessary to tell me how it went.

You were not wrong. She's janky.

 

[BrownBetty]

She is bugging. If you ask someone for a referral you then follow up with them. Especially when you are used as a referral or gave a referral. She is the pits.

A friend reached out to me because her father needed a job. I connected him with someone and he got an interview.

She messaged me asking me for the friends number because she wanted to send a “thank you” gift. I asked if her father got the job...

She didn’t answer that. She just asked for the address again.

Was it wrong of me to ask or is she bugging? She wanted the hook up but didn’t think it was necessary to tell me how it went.

 

[shespoison]

She is bugging. If you ask someone for a referral you then follow up with them. Especially when you are used as a referral or gave a referral. She is the pits.

I’ve known this girl since I was seven. I thought it was bizarre. I thought maybe there was a back story...I’m not going to contact her to talk about it but next time she reaches out I’m going to let her know how I feel.

 

[RUBY]

A friend reached out to me because her father needed a job. I connected him with someone and he got an interview.

She messaged me asking me for the friends number because she wanted to send a “thank you” gift. I asked if her father got the job...

She didn’t answer that. She just asked for the address again.

Was it wrong of me to ask or is she bugging? She wanted the hook up but didn’t think it was necessary to tell me how it went.

No it wasn't wrong of you to ask. And most importantly, where are your flowers?
You are the one who hooked them up in the first place. Also why wouldn't she tell you whether or not he got the job? Could it be he hasn't and she wants to send the flowers to try and tip the balance in her father's favour?

 

[shespoison]

No it wasn't wrong of you to ask. And most importantly, where are your flowers?
You are the one who hooked them up in the first place. Also why wouldn't she tell you whether or not he got the job? Could it be he hasn't and she wants to send the flowers to try and tip the balance in her father's favour?

Yea. I’m thinking he didn’t get it the job.