Halana Malie
Sippin’ bubbly feeling lovely
Humble yourself my friend.
Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread
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Halana Malie
Sippin’ bubbly feeling lovely
Being kind goes a long way.
onyxdreams
Well-Known Member
I received a phone call from my son's girlfriend this morning. She was crying hysterically after having a blow out with him. Again I tried to be neutral, I even asked her about calling her mother or sister. She told me she couldnt speak to her mother because her mom would call her names like stupid and laugh. Unfortunately, this young lady feels she has wasted her time with my son and that he doesn't love her. She has asked him to be transparent with what he has done and he has been. Now she is upset with what he is sharing.
I am treading lightly but trying to nurture her. I can see a lot of the old me inside her. I did suggest counseling for herself and couple's counseling for them if she decides to stay. Finally, I told her to stop saying she was stupid for investing in love and getting nothing but heartache. I told her, love has no guarantees for anyone. I told her, I hope she can love again without an expectation of return and with abandonment in the future. Love is a risk and a woman isnt stupid because she takes that risk. No man will come to her with a recipe on loving her. It will take hard work and she will have to instruct him on how to best cater to her needs.
I am treading lightly but trying to nurture her. I can see a lot of the old me inside her. I did suggest counseling for herself and couple's counseling for them if she decides to stay. Finally, I told her to stop saying she was stupid for investing in love and getting nothing but heartache. I told her, love has no guarantees for anyone. I told her, I hope she can love again without an expectation of return and with abandonment in the future. Love is a risk and a woman isnt stupid because she takes that risk. No man will come to her with a recipe on loving her. It will take hard work and she will have to instruct him on how to best cater to her needs.
sarumoki
Epicurean Empress
I'm so fed up with my job right now. And it's not even the job itself, because I love my job. But I can't stand my boss and two co-workers who happen to be her favorites. I can't even phone it in with them and just fake it until my next move because these two really just get on my nerves. A lot of my other co-workers feel the same way and it's become an us vs them kind of work environment. It's so exhausting.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Peace be still! Today is a new day! Let us rejoice and be glad!
I woke up feeling great this morning. It's snowing and it's gloomy outside but I feel much better than I did this weekend. I woke up in a great mood and I'm still in a great mood.
I sent an email at 6am to my partner and his secretary/receptionist saying I was going to be about an hour late because I needed to pick up some paperwork for my volunteer training. The partner knew about this and said it was no problem and I was really only emailing as a courtesy reminder. As soon as I stepped out into the snow I decided to go straight to work because I didn't want to be traveling back and forth in slush. I go to send the email saying I would be in on time and I have a separate email from the busybody receptionst/secretary telling me that's not how I'm supposed to do that. I have to call her and tell her. First of all that isn't true because when I spoke to my partner he told me to email HIM. She's nobody's boss! I only included her on the email because she's nosy AF and this would satisfy that and she's his secretary so it was a courtesy to her as well. Second of all, this is how it has been since I started. No one telling me anything until I ask or do it wrong the first time. But then they want to be up in arms like I'm supposed to somehow magically know. It's exhausting. But I'm in a good mood with no time for nonsense.
So I respond back "my apologies I actually will NOT be in today at all. Should I give you a call?" And I put the partner back on the email. I'm tired of this. He needs to rein her in, otherwise he won't like the way I do it.
Now off to the library to get my stuff and they told me I can do my training this morning if I'd like so that's exactly what I'm going to do. Have a great day ladies!
I sent an email at 6am to my partner and his secretary/receptionist saying I was going to be about an hour late because I needed to pick up some paperwork for my volunteer training. The partner knew about this and said it was no problem and I was really only emailing as a courtesy reminder. As soon as I stepped out into the snow I decided to go straight to work because I didn't want to be traveling back and forth in slush. I go to send the email saying I would be in on time and I have a separate email from the busybody receptionst/secretary telling me that's not how I'm supposed to do that. I have to call her and tell her. First of all that isn't true because when I spoke to my partner he told me to email HIM. She's nobody's boss! I only included her on the email because she's nosy AF and this would satisfy that and she's his secretary so it was a courtesy to her as well. Second of all, this is how it has been since I started. No one telling me anything until I ask or do it wrong the first time. But then they want to be up in arms like I'm supposed to somehow magically know. It's exhausting. But I'm in a good mood with no time for nonsense.
So I respond back "my apologies I actually will NOT be in today at all. Should I give you a call?" And I put the partner back on the email. I'm tired of this. He needs to rein her in, otherwise he won't like the way I do it.
Now off to the library to get my stuff and they told me I can do my training this morning if I'd like so that's exactly what I'm going to do. Have a great day ladies!
caribeandiva
Human being
I started my new job today!! I’m excited!
sarumoki
Epicurean Empress
onyxdreams
Well-Known Member
Awe, I hope it was a blessed day!
@caribeandiva Congratulations. I hope you had a great day.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Yay @caribeandiva! So excited for you girl! And 
.
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caribeandiva
Human being
Thanks ladies!! It was awesome! I don’t have to deal with customers! Hallelujah! My first grownup (non customer service) job. 
hunnychile
Well-Known Member
My mother and I are having some growing pains and I'm not sure how to go about changing my attitude towards her.
I had an entire wall of text here that I decided to delete once I saw the length. I'm going to start calling around for a therapist...
I had an entire wall of text here that I decided to delete once I saw the length. I'm going to start calling around for a therapist...
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Congrats hunny bunny! So happy for you!
hopeful
Well-Known Member
My mother and I are having some growing pains and I'm not sure how to go about changing my attitude towards her.
I had an entire wall of text here that I decided to delete once I saw the length. I'm going to start calling around for a therapist...
Good luck with finding a good therapist. Sounds like you have a lot to sort through.
Browndilocks
Browndisha Brownie Sundae
My phone died 2 weeks ago and I got a replacement. I didn't put any of my old numbers etc back in. Just spoke to and texted the few in my general rotation. Best 2 weeks of my life. I made a mistake and activated the cloud. Now my phone is totally populated again and I'm sad.
caribeandiva
Human being
Turn off the cloud and reset your phone. Problem solved!
caribeandiva
Human being
Thank you!!
LovelyRo
Well-Known Member
Today is my brother’s 16th birthday... 16 years and my sister and I have never been invited to celebrate his birthday. Also never been invited to celebrate the 19 year old’s b-day either. Yet, my dad doesn’t see a problem with this.
He married my stepmother over 20 years ago.
He married my stepmother over 20 years ago.
I'm sorry about to hear this. They're old enough now where you can call them and build relationships separate from their mother if you want to. Are you open to that? Do you think they will be?
caribeandiva
Human being
@KammyGirl How are you doing with the hair situation?
LovelyRo
Well-Known Member
What’s odd is that we (dad, stepmother, and kids) don’t have an estranged relationship. I guess my sister and I aren’t part of the “core family” so we get excluded from certain things.
Thanks for asking. After a few days I'm adjusting. I still hate it but I've stopped tearing up every time I look in the mirror. Wash day is coming up and I'm nervous about it. I'm going to wait until the last possible day to wash even though my scalp is already itching and my hair is already getting oily.
That sucks. I'm sorry it's like that.
bellatiamarie
Well-Known Member
I’m getting such a strong urge to move out of state and I’m not sure if it’s just because I’m tired of everybody and want to go far away or if I sincerely just want to move for more/better opportunities. Either way.... I’m thinking of moving and people better get used to the idea.
shespoison
Well-Known Member
So I decided to delete and block my friend who I always complain about on here.
I had a get together for my birthday. She called me and said she was coming. Texted me when she left her house, called me to say the trains were messed up. I told her to get as close as she could and I would send her an Uber. Hours passed and she didn’t update me so I called her to see if she was ok. She didn’t answer or text back.
The next morning her dad left a message on fb asking me to forgive her because the trains were messed up. I inboxed him and told him it was funny that he knew that she didn’t come and why but she hadn’t contacted me yet. He called and left a message on fb messenger with her terminally ill mother in the background telling me to call her back.
It pissed me off. How are you going to emotionally manipulate me when you could have just communicated with me like an adult. Then I see on ig that she is asking for prayers for her mother. I found the timing fishy and pathetic. The day after you played yourself you decide to let the world know your mother is sick but you couldn’t even text me that you are ok and can’t make it?
I feel for her situation but she was a pos friend before her mother got sick and her making it seem like it is about her mother is low. She is a liar a drunk and I don’t trust her.
I was feeling bad for abandoning her now but 2 friends sat me down and told me she wasn’t a friend to me anyway and I should invest my energy in people who care and show up for me.
I had a get together for my birthday. She called me and said she was coming. Texted me when she left her house, called me to say the trains were messed up. I told her to get as close as she could and I would send her an Uber. Hours passed and she didn’t update me so I called her to see if she was ok. She didn’t answer or text back.
The next morning her dad left a message on fb asking me to forgive her because the trains were messed up. I inboxed him and told him it was funny that he knew that she didn’t come and why but she hadn’t contacted me yet. He called and left a message on fb messenger with her terminally ill mother in the background telling me to call her back.
It pissed me off. How are you going to emotionally manipulate me when you could have just communicated with me like an adult. Then I see on ig that she is asking for prayers for her mother. I found the timing fishy and pathetic. The day after you played yourself you decide to let the world know your mother is sick but you couldn’t even text me that you are ok and can’t make it?
I feel for her situation but she was a pos friend before her mother got sick and her making it seem like it is about her mother is low. She is a liar a drunk and I don’t trust her.
I was feeling bad for abandoning her now but 2 friends sat me down and told me she wasn’t a friend to me anyway and I should invest my energy in people who care and show up for me.
shespoison
Well-Known Member
Thank you.
It’s a mess. We were a trio since high school. The other woman in the trio JUST started talking to her 3 days ago and learned about her mother’s condition. At first she told me to talk to her. When she realized that the reason drunkey called her was because I encouraged her too annnnd I stoped talking to her when she called her she said it was foul understood.
I can’t say I will never talk to her again but she needs to get her life together without me and maybe we can be friends in the far off future.
My therapist is cancelled. For real this time. We were talking about asserting myself and how far I've come. I told him about the hair incident and was asking how do I manage to stand up for myself without resorting back to misanthropy and hating everyone because I like where I am right now. He doesn't advise but instead says " it doesn't help that when I saw you come up the stairs I thought ohhhh she looks different" and he started laughing. I didn't laugh but instead said now I'm adding you to the list of incidents where I am figuring out how to assert myself without entering conflict. If y'all could have heard how quick his laughter stopped. It literally sounded like someone cut off a laugh track 
I don't know what's going on but I've been tested a whole helluva lot these past couple weeks.
Eta: Also I have not been able to find a thread in the hair section to help me grow this hair out. I may just start my own thread. We'll see.
I don't know what's going on but I've been tested a whole helluva lot these past couple weeks.Eta: Also I have not been able to find a thread in the hair section to help me grow this hair out. I may just start my own thread. We'll see.
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hopeful
Well-Known Member
@KammyGirl
I feel you. I’m in a similar situation. I love my therapist but there is a point when they just don’t get certain things. They are human and flawed like everyone. Sometimes they can only take us so far. We have to thank them for what they’ve done, then let them go. It’s very hard. But good therapy teaches us to keep moving forward, to tell the truth, and honor ourselves. Him laughing at you was crass. It is what it is. You will find another therapist who will be able to take you further in your healing journey. I’m still trying to decide if I need to cancel mine.
I feel you. I’m in a similar situation. I love my therapist but there is a point when they just don’t get certain things. They are human and flawed like everyone. Sometimes they can only take us so far. We have to thank them for what they’ve done, then let them go. It’s very hard. But good therapy teaches us to keep moving forward, to tell the truth, and honor ourselves. Him laughing at you was crass. It is what it is. You will find another therapist who will be able to take you further in your healing journey. I’m still trying to decide if I need to cancel mine.
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