Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

The ballet last weekend was so much fun, enchanting, and so well done. It was a retelling of Frankenstein. My daughter loved it as well and we are planning on seeing more ballets in the future :yep:.

I plan to take myself to see the movie, The Shack, this weekend, hopefully on Friday. I love movies like this and will be sure to have tissues with me.

Saturday morning I've been invited to attend a breakfast/beauty & health event. The lady who invited me is really sweet and I hope we will start building a closer friendship.
 
Scenario #1

You make friends with this girl because your boyfriends at the time are friends. Long after the boyfriend relationships are over, you remain friends. In fact you see each other through multiple boyfriends and whole bunch of other life stuff. Yall are kinda besties, you know each other's family. Bff gets married and starts a new life with DH. Your relationship changes but not really, you just don't see each other as much. Bff gets pregnant and you throw the baby shower. You style her photo shoot. Baby comes and you cook dinner every night for her and her DH for 2 weeks straight.

When the baby was 2 months, you get a job out of state & move. Bff texts you pics of the baby etc. all the time. Then all of a sudden the texts stop. You come to town and reach out, she doesn't respond. You text her "I hope everything is ok" and she still doesn't respond. You give it time, still nothing. She's ok though because she posts on SM regularly. Baby turns 1 and you text her HBD to the baby. She replies THANK YOU!!!XOXOXOXOX and says nothing else.

You delete her from all your SM. You never call her again. You think about her here and there but essentially not really. Baby will be 2 in June. You quit your job a while ago and move back. You're doing you, minding your business, happy. Phone rings, you look at it. It's former bff. You press ignore.

Would you have done the same thing?
 
@Browndilocks I wonder why she just stopped speaking to you out of the blue? That is so strange. I probably would have done the same thing.

So my sister is not speaking to me. She is being such a little brat and she always acts like this. She doesn't have a great relationship with my mother and I speak to my mom everyday. My mom has been telling me she's been speaking to sis everyday too and she's surprised. She always does this. I wonder how long it will last this time.
 
Browndilocks said:
Would you have done the same thing?
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I have been known to not talk to friends for long periods of time. The people that know me well enough know I mean nothing by it.

In this case it does look like the friend with the baby was using the friend that moved away. Once she was gone there was no need to remain polite since the friend with the baby could not benefit. Now that she is back, the friend with the baby wants the benefits again. That isn't a friendship and I wouldn't answer either.
 
KammyGirl said:
@Browndilocks I wonder why she just stopped speaking to you out of the blue? That is so strange. I probably would have done the same thing.

So my sister is not speaking to me. She is being such a little brat and she always acts like this. She doesn't have a great relationship with my mother and I speak to my mom everyday. My mom has been telling me she's been speaking to sis everyday too and she's surprised. She always does this. I wonder how long it will last this time.
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I wondered too... for about 3 months. I feel like I'm too old for that stupid, guess how they're feeling today crap. Ain't got time.
 
My male best friend and my female best friend each separately approached me about being roommates and getting a place. I thought this was great since the 3-br's that I found are much nicer than the 2-br's. Male best friend is completely on board with everything, but fbf has found an issue with everything, from the timing (mbf and I want to find something within three months, fbf wants to wait), to the neighborhoods we're looking at, to the fact that I'm even considering moving in with both her and mbf, to the fact that mbf has a cat. I kinda want to cut her out of it now and find a different 3rd roommate but if I do that it'll definitely damage our friendship because she's the type to take everything personally. *sigh*
 
sarumoki said:
My male best friend and my female best friend each separately approached me about being roommates and getting a place. I thought this was great since the 3-br's that I found are much nicer than the 2-br's. Male best friend is completely on board with everything, but fbf has found an issue with everything, from the timing (mbf and I want to find something within three months, fbf wants to wait), to the neighborhoods we're looking at, to the fact that I'm even considering moving in with both her and mbf, to the fact that mbf has a cat. I kinda want to cut her out of it now and find a different 3rd roommate but if I do that it'll definitely damage our friendship because she's the type to take everything personally. *sigh*
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If she's a problem now...DONT room with her! Trust me.
 
I've been wanting to go to the movies by myself, but I can't seem to find the time lately. I love going to matinees during the week by myself. That's one of my secret pleasures :lol: Hopefully, I will get to do it in another couple weeks.

On another random note, for the past 2 months, I've been sending out inspirational videos to my 4 bffs in a group text. At first no one really responded or anything :look: then when I decided to stop sending them, I got a text from 3 of them asking, "hey - are we going to get our inspirational video today??" That made me feel good :)
 
Godsdaughter001 said:
I've been wanting to go to the movies by myself, but I can't seem to find the time lately. I love going to matinees during the week by myself. That's one of my secret pleasures :lol: Hopefully, I will get to do it in another couple weeks.

On another random note, for the past 2 months, I've been sending out inspirational videos to my 4 bffs in a group text. At first no one really responded or anything :look: then when I decided to stop sending them, I got a text from 3 of them asking, "hey - are we going to get our inspirational video today??" That made me feel good :)
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Aww. We have a 4 person g
sarumoki said:
Lol I take it you've gone through this before?
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yep. 17 years of friendship dead and gone.
 
Godsdaughter001 said:
I've been wanting to go to the movies by myself, but I can't seem to find the time lately. I love going to matinees during the week by myself. That's one of my secret pleasures :lol: Hopefully, I will get to do it in another couple weeks.

On another random note, for the past 2 months, I've been sending out inspirational videos to my 4 bffs in a group text. At first no one really responded or anything :look: then when I decided to stop sending them, I got a text from 3 of them asking, "hey - are we going to get our inspirational video today??" That made me feel good :)
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I love going to the movies too! Yesterday afternoon I went with a girlfriend. Then in the evening went to the movies with my teenaged daughter. It was a really fun and satisfying Friday:).

Tonight I'm going to an art gallery opening with a girlfriend. The weather is beautiful here in Cali today. I feel so happy.

Oh and yesterday earlier in the day I got a mani/pedi. It was so relaxing.
 
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I LOVE live music and my friends don't like the same artists as me, i.e. The Internet, Emily King, Lianne La Havas, The Foreign Exchange etc.

I still never let that stop me from catching a show by myself. I end up meeting some dope people and gain new friends that way. Life is too short to miss out on things you really enjoy because you fear going alone!
 
I had a so called friend at work and I'm now ready to beat her @zz. We planned a trip with two other people and I gave her my part the money and I thought everyone was giving in their part because that's what she told me. She quickly changed her attitude towards me and started being extremely standoffish towards me. I decided that it was in my best interest not to go and be put in an awkward situation for 4 days. (I'm not close to the other people going). I hadn't found the right time to talk to her about backing out yet.

Fast forward to today and my other coworker (also a friend that got dropped by this psycho) told me she overheard her and the other girl going talking about how they are going to use my money to fund another trip if I don't go. And also about how they wanted me to go so I can get the rental car in my name. (I'm the best candidate to get a rental car).

I quickly upon hearing this, texted the witch and told her I want my money back and that I'm not going. She asked what was wrong and I said, “nothing, I'm not going and I need my money back." No response. Later I talked to her in person and she says it's 50% refund to cancel the Airbnb and she will send me the screen shot of the cancellation policy. (Mind you my other coworker just told me they hadn't paid anything and plan to use my money). I said I need that AND proof of purchase. She said she would send those tonight and it hasn't happened.

I plan on confronting her at work ASAP which unfortunately is Sunday or Monday. She will either pay with money or pain. And I'm willing to lose my job other this (part time job). I can't believe I'm in some mess with this psycho. I've never been in a situation like this before. I just wish I could lay hands on her tonight... The money I paid is $211 and it's the money and principle I'm angry about.
 
So I "liked" a status amd she rememebered I existed. She wanted to meet up next week for dinner to catch up. I'm bored, have noone else to hang out with and want to get out of the house so I'll go.

Sigh! I need to get a life.
 
So my good friend goes through these phases when she starts feeling sorry for herself and sad that she's not in a relationship, it happens like clock work, at least once every quarter (she just text me about it again this morning). She starts by making comments like "I'm tired of being single" or "I'm ready to be married" etc etc.

She is convinced that men treat her poorly because she is "not as pretty or skinny as other women" and they only use her for sex then discard her for the one the really want.

The problem with this is that she is NEVER without a man, she constantly keeps up with ex's and can't go without being on POF. I have handled this situation with kid gloves in the past and try to tell her that she needs to take time to herself without ANY men in her life, just take some time to self reflect. A few months ago I told her that she moves too fast with men and she needs to slow her roll after she told me that her current boo of a few months was already talking marriage and that "he's different than the rest"...she didn't talk to me for 2 days and they broke up a few weeks after that.

I haven't even responded to her because I'm tired of hearing her cry about it, I feel that the core of her issue lies with her inability to be alone and she finds her worth in how men treat her, I feel like at some point you have to take responsibility for your own actions and do some self reflection.

I think I'll tell her I never got her message.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
So my good friend goes through these phases when she starts feeling sorry for herself and sad that she's not in a relationship, it happens like clock work, at least once every quarter (she just text me about it again this morning). She starts by making comments like "I'm tired of being single" or "I'm ready to be married" etc etc.

She is convinced that men treat her poorly because she is "not as pretty or skinny as other women" and they only use her for sex then discard her for the one the really want.

The problem with this is that she is NEVER without a man, she constantly keeps up with ex's and can't go without being on POF. I have handled this situation with kid gloves in the past and try to tell her that she needs to take time to herself without ANY men in her life, just take some time to self reflect. A few months ago I told her that she moves too fast with men and she needs to slow her roll after she told me that her current boo of a few months was already talking marriage and that "he's different than the rest"...she didn't talk to me for 2 days and they broke up a few weeks after that.

I haven't even responded to her because I'm tired of hearing her cry about it, I feel that the core of her issue lies with her inability to be alone and she finds her worth in how men treat her, I feel like at some point you have to take responsibility for your own actions and do some self reflection.

I think I'll tell her I never got her message.
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Lawd - I'm still reeling from a dinner last night with such an acquaintance - Soul draining. Just happened to run into her after a perfectly happy Jfemme day. One train wreck nutty story after the next for two hours. Smh I have no energy to listen or be in the company of such negativity and emotional emptiness anymore. I truly wish her well but as of last night shes cut off..

Thankfully I have enjoyed a week of great outing with two of my best friend gals...:2inlove:
 
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JFemme said:
Lawd - I'm still reeling from a dinner last night with such an acquaintance - Soul draining. Just happened to run into her as out to dinner after a perfectly happy Jfemme day. Just one nutty story after the next. I have no energy to listen or be in the company of such negativity and emotional emptiness. I truly wish her well but as of last night shes cut off..

Thankfully I have enjoyed a week of great outing with two of my best friend gals...:2inlove:
Click to expand...


It truly is draining! I'm close to losing it and telling her about herself but that'll probably be the end of our relationship but I feel like a true friend would tell you the truth.

I think I'll take a page from your book & recharge with well balanced people.
 
I've already come with a stategy to slowly back away then block her-

Never been bout that woe is me life. I've always encouraged her to do better, choose better....Thought nothing much of inviting her join me at dinner.. But it's a testament to what changes are afoot in me that the cost is now too heavy to brush up against that low level of self worth.
 
Bunnyhaslonghair said:
I had a so called friend at work and I'm now ready to beat her @zz. We planned a trip with two other people and I gave her my part the money and I thought everyone was giving in their part because that's what she told me. She quickly changed her attitude towards me and started being extremely standoffish towards me. I decided that it was in my best interest not to go and be put in an awkward situation for 4 days. (I'm not close to the other people going). I hadn't found the right time to talk to her about backing out yet.

Fast forward to today and my other coworker (also a friend that got dropped by this psycho) told me she overheard her and the other girl going talking about how they are going to use my money to fund another trip if I don't go. And also about how they wanted me to go so I can get the rental car in my name. (I'm the best candidate to get a rental car).

I quickly upon hearing this, texted the witch and told her I want my money back and that I'm not going. She asked what was wrong and I said, “nothing, I'm not going and I need my money back." No response. Later I talked to her in person and she says it's 50% refund to cancel the Airbnb and she will send me the screen shot of the cancellation policy. (Mind you my other coworker just told me they hadn't paid anything and plan to use my money). I said I need that AND proof of purchase. She said she would send those tonight and it hasn't happened.

I plan on confronting her at work ASAP which unfortunately is Sunday or Monday. She will either pay with money or pain. And I'm willing to lose my job other this (part time job). I can't believe I'm in some mess with this psycho. I've never been in a situation like this before. I just wish I could lay hands on her tonight... The money I paid is $211 and it's the money and principle I'm angry about.
Click to expand...

You know what RiRi says:look:. She better give you back your money. So trifling. I am sorry you are in this predicament but your post tickled me when you said you wanted to beat her tail and that you would be willing to lose your job over it. I like that you are not playing -- my kind of woman :). Keep us updated.
 
It's been a pretty good and social week. I went for a hike last Sunday with a co-worker, went out for coffee with a different co-worker this past Monday, and a few of my co-workers and I have planned to go on a hike this coming Sunday. Even though I like this group of co-workers, I still feel like I have to remind myself that no matter how cool they are, they're still co-workers and I have to kind of watch what I say. Before starting to work at this company, I never really hung out with my co-workers outside of work.

Friday night I went out to dinner with a friend I haven't seen in a few months. My youngest sister was on spring break and was in town yesterday. I got to spend all day yesterday with her, my middle sister and my mom...it was great catching up with them.

I really need to make more of an effort to keep in contact with my friends. I've never been good at it and when anyone texts me just to talk, I'm not good at keeping up the conversation because I take forever to reply back lol...I would rather text to make plans to meet up rather than text just to talk. With my 10-year high school reunion coming up, it has me thinking about all the people I fell out of contact with and it kind of makes me sad.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
So my good friend goes through these phases when she starts feeling sorry for herself and sad that she's not in a relationship, it happens like clock work, at least once every quarter (she just text me about it again this morning). She starts by making comments like "I'm tired of being single" or "I'm ready to be married" etc etc.

She is convinced that men treat her poorly because she is "not as pretty or skinny as other women" and they only use her for sex then discard her for the one the really want.

The problem with this is that she is NEVER without a man, she constantly keeps up with ex's and can't go without being on POF. I have handled this situation with kid gloves in the past and try to tell her that she needs to take time to herself without ANY men in her life, just take some time to self reflect. A few months ago I told her that she moves too fast with men and she needs to slow her roll after she told me that her current boo of a few months was already talking marriage and that "he's different than the rest"...she didn't talk to me for 2 days and they broke up a few weeks after that.

I haven't even responded to her because I'm tired of hearing her cry about it, I feel that the core of her issue lies with her inability to be alone and she finds her worth in how men treat her, I feel like at some point you have to take responsibility for your own actions and do some self reflection.

I think I'll tell her I never got her message.
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I have a friend like this. Eventually I told her "You never listen to me anyway, so do what you gotta do."
 
I just found out that an ex-friend of mine has been blabbing all of my secrets all over town. We were friends for over 15 years so I trusted her. At first I was hurt and angry but after dealing with my emotions I've decided to let karma deal with her. I won't stoop to her level even though I could easily destroy her and her marriage by divulging her secrets. I'm better than that. This is all proof that it was the right decision to end the friendship 2 years ago.
 
On a more positive note, I went to see the Shack on opening night and made it into a girls' night with one of closest friends. We had dinner and then drank wine. I'm so glad I went. Such a good movie and yes I shed tears. I'm gonna go back and watch it again with my sister this time cuz she still hasn't seen it.

Speaking of sister, yesterday we had a sister's day and we went to see "Get out" cuz she was scared to watch it alone. :lol: We went to the matinee and there was maybe 6 other people there. My brothers have all seen that movie and they've been bugging us to go see it too. It wasn't a scary movie thank goodness (I can't handle scary movies). It was a psychological thriller and it kinda felt a little bit like a parody to me (I know I'm weird). Good movie nonetheless. :yep:
 
caribeandiva said:
I just found out that an ex-friend of mine has been blabbing all of my secrets all over town. We were friends for over 15 years so I trusted her. At first I was hurt and angry but after dealing with my emotions I've decided to let karma deal with her. I won't stoop to her level even though I could easily destroy her and her marriage by divulging her secrets. I'm better than that. This is all proof that it was the right decision to end the friendship 2 years ago.
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You're better than me. I would tell it.
 
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