Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

Ugh...I’m so annoyed.

I’m going to spend the night at my cousin’s house tomorrow. I just wanted a lowkey time. My other cousin calls me just now and is like “we’re coming with you tomorrow” (we being her, her granddaughter and her niece). I deliberately didn’t tell her I was going cuz I knew she probably had the girls this weekend. This isn’t the first time she’s done this, and I find it a little inconsiderate. She must have heard it my voice that I wasn’t too thrilled, cuz she was like “you don’t want me come?” I played it off like “stop that”.

I’m sure it’ll be fun regardless, it always is, but damn. I really don’t like kids being forced on me.
 
Would it be wrong to cuss out my best friends significant other? I have tried to be nice to her and she has always been funny acting towards me. And then to top it off not only does she act funny with me, she has made it a habit to point out something I am wearing to laugh at. It's like really? Are we back in high school making fun of what people have on? Not to mention when we hang out in a group she is always the oldest of us she is in her early 30s to be acting like this! And to top it off she is always wearing the most basic stuff to be talking about what someone else is wearing with that scalpy hair cut she is always wearing.
 
mz.rae said:
Would it be wrong to cuss out my best friends significant other? I have tried to be nice to her and she has always been funny acting towards me. And then to top it off not only does she act funny with me, she has made it a habit to point out something I am wearing to laugh at. It's like really? Are we back in high school making fun of what people have on? Not to mention when we hang out in a group she is always the oldest of us she is in her early 30s to be acting like this! And to top it off she is always wearing the most basic stuff to be talking about what someone else is wearing with that scalpy hair cut she is always wearing.
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I wouldn’t hang out with them anymore. She knows her partner is a butthole. And I wouldn’t bother with confrontation, or trying to explain myself.
 
@mz.rae
I wouldn’t bother. Your best friend is a guy then right? She is probably uncomfortable with her SO’s bestie being a younger woman. She may be feeling insecure or jealous of you. Instead of dealing directly with those feelings and discussing her concerns with him, sounds like she’s taking things out on you. I would keep my distance with her, and honestly with him too.
 
hopeful said:
@mz.rae
I wouldn’t bother. Your best friend is a guy then right? She is probably uncomfortable with her SO’s bestie being a younger woman. She may be feeling insecure or jealous of you. Instead of dealing directly with those feelings and discussing her concerns with him, sounds like she’s taking things out on you. I would keep my distance with her, and honestly with him too.
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Oh the best friend isn’t a woman? Lol you know these days... I can’t keep up! Lol
Oh she is definitely jealous and he knows it. Most people don’t believe men and women can be friends anyway. This dude ended up in the friend zone! Lol
 
shortdub78 said:
I wouldn’t hang out with them anymore. She knows her partner is a butthole. And I wouldn’t bother with confrontation, or trying to explain myself.
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caribeandiva said:
I agree. Her jealousy is very apparent and your bestie did nothing to put an end to it. You top priority is to protect yourself. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
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hopeful said:
@mz.rae
I wouldn’t bother. Your best friend is a guy then right? She is probably uncomfortable with her SO’s bestie being a younger woman. She may be feeling insecure or jealous of you. Instead of dealing directly with those feelings and discussing her concerns with him, sounds like she’s taking things out on you. I would keep my distance with her, and honestly with him too.
Click to expand...
Thanks ladies and no my bestie is a woman. Its actually interesting because one time me and my bf had fell out over a situation back in February where I was just fed up and ended up lashing out and when we did finally start talking my bf said she felt like something more was going on for me to lash out. And I asked her what the deal was with her SO she acts like she doesn't like me and is very funny acting with me. And my bf said no one else in the group is noticing this and that its probably not what I'm thinking. Its funny because after not liking how I was treated by her last year when I came over to their house I haven't gone back since. Which in my opinion should let anyone know thats a little weird for a BFF relationship.

I have started pulling back my interactions with them. And plan to pull back completely. I am at a point in my life where I want to travel more, enjoy the company of some good people and just enjoy life. All that making fun of people is quite juvenile to me. I get BFFs rip on each other playfully, but no way am I going to tolerate it from a funny acting SO.
 
Planning a trip to Vegas next year for my bday. My friend from high school is going to help me plan it. I’m excited I plan on inviting people I don’t get to hang out with much, and a few cousins. I’m still on the fence about inviting my best friend but letting her know her SO is not invited.
 
mz.rae said:
Would it be wrong to cuss out my best friends significant other? I have tried to be nice to her and she has always been funny acting towards me. And then to top it off not only does she act funny with me, she has made it a habit to point out something I am wearing to laugh at. It's like really? Are we back in high school making fun of what people have on? Not to mention when we hang out in a group she is always the oldest of us she is in her early 30s to be acting like this! And to top it off she is always wearing the most basic stuff to be talking about what someone else is wearing with that scalpy hair cut she is always wearing.
Click to expand...

Maybe she fancies you? She finds you attractive and doesn't know how to act like towards you?
 
Fine 4s said:
abandonment issues, trust issues, confidence, loneliness, no real hobbies, no life ....where the F do I start addressing this mess????
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Get a hobby! I got several hobbies and it really helps! And try something different, something you have to learn to do. Something that will get the wheels turning. My new hobby is learning how to sew. Heck I’m still working on how to use the machine! I bet you get out and interact way more than I do. I’m hardly ever around other adults and I don’t keep a bunch of friends around. I like my peace and I enjoy being by myself.
 
After further exploration of my issues, I'd like to add that I'm a control freak. Wait, I think I've admitted this here before.
Like I mean with friends.....I MIGHT be one of those friends who feels like when my bff has another close friend or bff, I must destroy her! LMAO
You can't be MINE and HERS too. Pick a side. *sigh*
 
@shortdub78

How do you even figure out what your hobby should be or is? I don't feel moved by much enough to know lol
I love money management to the point of obsession, I used to dance but now my body is tired more....what can I learn?
Hmmmm.....I think I need to be still and allow ideas to come to me. I'm either working, online or sleeping. I need to give my mind more space.....
I might enjoy reading more but then I fall asleep lol
 
Sigh.

Sorry long vent.

His brother seems to be developing a pattern of trying to get with my single friends. When it happened with the first friend I thought it was kinda cute as they seemed to be getting on really well and she liked his company. He's not really her physical type though.

He contacted her months later and all she said was that she didn't have time to meet him 1 on 1, she is dating someone new and she thinks of him as a friend (politely). He went OFF. Like walls of text off. He called her shallow, a whore in a roundabout way, he's above her anyway blah, blah. Now she has rightly said she doesn't want to hang out with him again.

I went out with another one of my friends yesterday. He was focusing on her for the most of the night, they were getting along well and then tried to kiss her. She told him she doesn't want to date anyone and just wants to be friends. He went off again. Talking about "IM GOING HOME!". Outside the bar he was getting even more butt hurt talking about why doesn't she want an older accomplished man :look:, how did she have sex with her loser ex but wont with him and other stupid stuff.

Now my FH is asking if I want him to be the one to talk to his brother about his behavior. I kind of feel like I should do it because I have a lot to say, but its so uncomfortable approaching him. If FH does it then he may confront me about not saying this myself.

I have a generally good relationship with him otherwise. He's kind and funny most of the time. Just this chip on his shoulder and butt hurt behavior about women when they are not interested is very ugly.
 
@Sumra
You didn’t ask, but for what it’s worth I’d let your fh handle it. Ultimately he’s disrespecting your fh. He gets to be part of his brother’s world and then instead of behaving like a gentleman, he’s disrespecting his brother, his brother’s fiancé, and his brother’s fiancé’s friends. And himself too, really. Not cool.
 
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