Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

mz.rae said:
If I’m honest I’m still in my feelings about a chain of events that happened last month... *1

Anyway, as the outing is winding down me and potential SO are sitting at a table and my friends talk about the last time we hung out. I was drunk and was talking about some explicit things and they were laughing about it... And my friends are seeing how potential SO is acting and we’re saying “awwww she’s in trouble now” referring to me. And then next thing you know my best friend gets up starts dancing in front of potential SO while saying “just don’t hit her though.”.. *2

I felt some type of way because why was something I said while I was drunk brought up in front of new person anyway... *3

This isn’t the first incident where I’ve walked away feeling some type of way about them. After hanging with them on New Years I felt a way to a lesser extent. But I more so felt a way about BFF’s SO, she has the audacity of having a stank attitude towards me and then thinks it’s ok for her to chime in when they were teasing me about my clothes... *4
Click to expand...
*1: your feelings are your guide. Trust them

*2: wtf? That’s not cool. What you’re dealing with my dear is a frenemy, an undercover hater. Maybe not so undercover :lol:. She’s trying to embarrass you and make you lose face in front of your new guy when she should’ve been singing your praises and protecting you and your reputation. And then dancing in front of him while saying weird things about not hitting you? Her mask is slipping and you’re realizing it. Your SO did hence his reaction.

*3: Exactly!! She said it to make you lose face. She is NOT a friend. I repeat, NOT a friend! Your feelings are guiding you again.

*4: with “friends” like these who need enemies? :nono:
 
caribeandiva said:
*1: your feelings are your guide. Trust them

*2: wtf? That’s not cool. What you’re dealing with my dear is a frenemy, an undercover hater. Maybe not so undercover :lol:. She’s trying to embarrass you and make you lose face in front of your new guy when she should’ve been singing your praises and protecting you and your reputation. And then dancing in front of him while saying weird things about not hitting you? Her mask is slipping and you’re realizing it. Your SO did hence his reaction.

*3: Exactly!! She said it to make you lose face. She is NOT a friend. I repeat, NOT a friend! Your feelings are guiding you again.

*4: with “friends” like these who need enemies? :nono:
Click to expand...
Thank you! It's like am I really y'all friend or am I just there for your entertainment. That's why I said when I'm around my cousin and her best friends I don't see any of this type of behavior. They are having fun and I feel a sense of sisterhood especially amongst her and her best friend. We are doing our usual yearly planning of going to Haunted houses and one of the haunted houses is an hour and some minutes away. And I mentioned in the group how I was going to have to ride with someone. And the response was why? Cause everyone can't fit into one car. And I replied because I don't want to drive down there by myself. And people were talking about how their cars are full. Even my BFF was saying her car was going to be full. Now mind you I have given my BFF rides a few times and most times when we go to the haunted houses out of town she rides with me. After this was when I deactivated my Facebook and messenger, because I have had enough of them. I don't plan on going to any haunted houses with them, or anything else. Count me out.
 
So my grandfather's partner's father recently passed away. I call her his partner because after damn near 40+ years together I still have no idea what to call her. They are not married but are together. There is a lot of other mess that goes along with this but I will spare you all the details. Anyway, this woman has been in my life for my entire life except she has never really felt like family. She behaves as though she is a new girlfriend. She's very stand offish and says and does stupid things that make no sense to me. She's been quite rude and dismissive over the years. I'm not sure if it's on purpose or if she's just that clueless. She acts like a stranger practically. She never calls on her own, she feels she has to be invited personally to family get togethers like she doesn't know us. Just straight up weird. Anyway as soon as I got old enough not to deal with her I stopped talking to her altogether. I even lived in one of their apartments while I was fresh out of college and paying off school loans and paid rent (full market rate because of her!) And during that time I thankfully managed to only speak to her a handful of times. Anyway, as I said her father recently passed and I am honestly dreading calling her. Dreading it! I know it's the right thing to do and I probably should but other than "I heard about your father, sorry for your loss" what else is there to say to her? I don't want to have a conversation with her. I don't want to talk to her at all. How do I give my condolences without having to have a long conversation with her. Texting is out of the question and -even feeling the way I feel about her- inappropriate I think. Any advice on how I should handle?
 
@MzLady78 I honestly don't think she'd care and I initially figured I didn't have to call but everyone else will be on my back to talk to her telling me I should because it's only right. It doesn't help that my sister has already called her and talked to her for nearly an hour. About what???:confused: I couldn't even imagine.
 
KammyGirl said:
So my grandfather's partner's father recently passed away. I call her his partner because after damn near 40+ years together I still have no idea what to call her. They are not married but are together. There is a lot of other mess that goes along with this but I will spare you all the details. Anyway, this woman has been in my life for my entire life except she has never really felt like family. She behaves as though she is a new girlfriend. She's very stand offish and says and does stupid things that make no sense to me. She's been quite rude and dismissive over the years. I'm not sure if it's on purpose or if she's just that clueless. She acts like a stranger practically. She never calls on her own, she feels she has to be invited personally to family get togethers like she doesn't know us. Just straight up weird. Anyway as soon as I got old enough not to deal with her I stopped talking to her altogether. I even lived in one of their apartments while I was fresh out of college and paying off school loans and paid rent (full market rate because of her!) And during that time I thankfully managed to only speak to her a handful of times. Anyway, as I said her father recently passed and I am honestly dreading calling her. Dreading it! I know it's the right thing to do and I probably should but other than "I heard about your father, sorry for your loss" what else is there to say to her? I don't want to have a conversation with her. I don't want to talk to her at all. How do I give my condolences without having to have a long conversation with her. Texting is out of the question and -even feeling the way I feel about her- inappropriate I think. Any advice on how I should handle?
Click to expand...
Send her a card and flowers. I know you don't want to text but at least this is a kind gesture. Everyone handles death differently, I'm one of those people who gets ackward when I know someone passed and fine if people just text or sends flowers/cards.
 
LostInAdream said:
Send her a card and flowers. I know you don't want to text but at least this is a kind gesture. Everyone handles death differently, I'm one of those people who gets ackward when I know someone passed and fine if people just text or sends flowers/cards.
Click to expand...
Yo I legit overthink everything. I'm sitting here like that's a good idea and then I pictured myself writing in the card and I'm like wth do I call her in the card? How do I address it? I never talk to her so I usually call her by her name to other people but I don't call her anything to her face. SMH This is a good idea though. I'll just put her name. Thanks.
 
KammyGirl said:
So my grandfather's partner's father recently passed away. I call her his partner because after damn near 40+ years together I still have no idea what to call her. They are not married but are together. There is a lot of other mess that goes along with this but I will spare you all the details. Anyway, this woman has been in my life for my entire life except she has never really felt like family. She behaves as though she is a new girlfriend. She's very stand offish and says and does stupid things that make no sense to me. She's been quite rude and dismissive over the years. I'm not sure if it's on purpose or if she's just that clueless. She acts like a stranger practically. She never calls on her own, she feels she has to be invited personally to family get togethers like she doesn't know us. Just straight up weird. Anyway as soon as I got old enough not to deal with her I stopped talking to her altogether. I even lived in one of their apartments while I was fresh out of college and paying off school loans and paid rent (full market rate because of her!) And during that time I thankfully managed to only speak to her a handful of times. Anyway, as I said her father recently passed and I am honestly dreading calling her. Dreading it! I know it's the right thing to do and I probably should but other than "I heard about your father, sorry for your loss" what else is there to say to her? I don't want to have a conversation with her. I don't want to talk to her at all. How do I give my condolences without having to have a long conversation with her. Texting is out of the question and -even feeling the way I feel about her- inappropriate I think. Any advice on how I should handle?
Click to expand...
I would just say what it is that you said and then leave it at that. She doesn't seem like she would talk much anyway. So a sorry for your loss hope you are doing well. Take care should be enough.
 
caribeandiva said:
Why do you feel obligated to talk to her? I say don’t call. If she’s treated you poorly over the years that’s on her. You owe her nothing.
Click to expand...
This is so what I want to hear right now :lol: but I know I can't say nothing. She hasn't exactly treated me poorly but more like very obvious indifference. After all this time I still can't tell if it's intentional or because she's just clueless. I feel obligated because I still consider her a family member even though she doesn't act like one. Just a very very distant one I don't talk to. lol Without saying too much my gramps has a side piece who has been around about half the time he's been with the original and I still tell people side piece is not invited to my wedding when I get married. She can't come because the original will be there. I don't care if everyone gets along I will always side with the original...even though I don't mess with her like that :look:

@shespoison I want it that way. lol She talks to my sister because my sister talks to her. It's just straight up odd. And instead of me bending to try to make her feel included like everyone else does I just ignore her. I mean she was already in the family for a good many years before I was even born. Me and my aunt are the only ones that are like we good you can stay over there lol

eta: and now I just got a text from my gramps with her number. :rolleyes: Ima gon ahead and pretend I aint get that.
 
I'm officially done with my family. One thinks the Vegas shooting is a hoax, another thinks the Earth is flat and another is talking to me about Scientology. Y'all! I can't with these folks. I haven't looked at my phone all night because my curse out finger is itching. I'm just going to leave them alone in their ignorance.
 
KammyGirl said:
I'm officially done with my family. One thinks the Vegas shooting is a hoax, another thinks the Earth is flat and another is talking to me about Scientology. Y'all! I can't with these folks. I haven't looked at my phone all night because my curse out finger is itching. I'm just going to leave them alone in their ignorance.
Click to expand...

I saw folks on a friend's FB page saying the same.

But they're all hoteps who think everything is a conspiracy.
 
KammyGirl said:
I'm officially done with my family. One thinks the Vegas shooting is a hoax, another thinks the Earth is flat and another is talking to me about Scientology. Y'all! I can't with these folks. I haven't looked at my phone all night because my curse out finger is itching. I'm just going to leave them alone in their ignorance.
Click to expand...

We're friends with an older couple ( I inherit them thru DH) that the husband is a HUGE conspiracy theorist. He thinks all mass shootings (including 911) were a hoax and there is no outer space (all space exploration is fake). I was done when the wife told me she voted for Trump! :/
 
I've been so BAD about staying in contact with my friends and family. I haven't talked, emailed or returned calls in MONTHS. I've been busy, depressed, and stressed...............and when I should reach out to my support network the most but I haven't.

Now I'm slightly embarrassed to try to re-connect.
 
My brother was let go at his job. We worked for the same company but different departments. We're pretty close so we'd see each other almost everyday on his breaks or at random misc work stuff. We'd also chat throughout the day. I miss him at work. He was looking to leave anyway but the fact he's gone and it's wasn't pre-planned sucked.

Oh well.
 
This girl that I went to school with and recently re-connected with is fun to hang out with, but she's annoying me right now. She's always late when we have plans! And not something acceptable like 20 minutes...like an hour and a half! She'll wait until the last minute for things. Like right now...we were supposed to go to happy hour at 4:00pm since we both got off work early today and here it is 5:40 and we haven't met yet because she had to "take care of something at the bank" and that "it would take 30 minutes max", but here we are over an hour later. Happy hour is damn near over now! And I think banks are normally closed at this time any way. If I don't hear from her in like 15 minutes I think I'm going to just cancel.

I guess I have to adopt the same policy that I use when dealing with dudes. Because if a man and I had a date at 4pm and he suddenly had to "go take care of something at the bank real quick", I definitely would not be waiting around for him.
 
My mom is a lot of things. I don’t always approve of her life choices but one thing that remains true, she is always here for me when I need her!

My sister is the best friend that I could ever have asked for. Never judges me and always there for me even when I don’t want her to be.

I’m entering into a new phase of my life and I’m so blessed to have them by my side.

I’ll have to remember to focus on all of the good and less of the personality/ lifestyle differences. I’m up for the challenge.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

SurferBabe
Life Lessons Learned The Hard Way: Dating & Relationship Edition
2
Replies
57
Views
2K
julzinha
julzinha
mischka
The Five Un-Romantic Keys to a Happy Relationship
Replies
24
Views
817
SerenavanderWoodsen
SerenavanderWoodsen
SurferBabe
  • Sticky
Thread for the heartbroken
40 41 42
Replies
1K
Views
51K
PatDM'T
PatDM'T
LadyBlu
Playing The Game
Replies
9
Views
297
amara11
A
Cincysweetie
Someone Please Explain the Whole "Friends First" Thing to Me
Replies
20
Views
672
erokawa
erokawa
Back
Top