Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

Miss_Luna said:
I'm moving to the other side of the planet in ~48hrs!!
So crazy...I don't feel stressed or anything, like this is what supposed to happen. The movers are here to pack up my stuff and I'm sitting here like :drunk: :eek: :abducted:

Everyone is asking me if I'm nervous, but I'm not lol I'm just like, :look:, I'm going to go work in a new office. ::shrugs:: Ready for this new adventure!
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Enjoy every second. A friend moved to Dubai to teach recently and loves it.
 
hopeful said:
Idk. Did you figure this out?



Good for you! What did you do?
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As you might already know, I live in SoCal but I'm from NYC. Hadn't been home or seen any of my family in more than two years. This was in part due to life happenings like quitting my job, moving again, surgery, needing to stay financially responsible, etc.

Instead of going on a vacation to some place fancy, I just went home. For the past month, I've been eating pizza almost every day, going on fantastic dates, kicking it with childhood friends, rap concerts and most of all chillin with my grandmother. I didn't even realize how much I needed this. Long walks through this city gave me life. I'm so grateful that I can on occasion take nice increments of time to do these types of things.
 
I cut off a good friend because I didn't like how she talked about her other friends to me. These were people I was cool with, but I only knew them through her. Whenever we talked she would be judging them for their relationship choices, having kids before marriage, etc. It was just too much negativity. Sometimes I feel bad because I know she still considers me a friend, but I just can't deal with her. I think she doesn't understand because she doesn't judge me that way, so she feels like it shouldn't bother me.
 
hopeful said:
But that's the thing. How do you know she doesn't judge you too behind your back?
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She's told me several times how she admires me for doing things the "right" way. I got married before having kids, DH and I both have successful careers, etc. Those are the things she values. She talks down about them to me, because I guess she thought I would agree with her. All of her judgments about them center around OOW babies and guys she classifies as bums.
 
FoxxyLocs said:
I cut off a good friend because I didn't like how she talked about her other friends to me. These were people I was cool with, but I only knew them through her. Whenever we talked she would be judging them for their relationship choices, having kids before marriage, etc. It was just too much negativity. Sometimes I feel bad because I know she still considers me a friend, but I just can't deal with her. I think she doesn't understand because she doesn't judge me that way, so she feels like it shouldn't bother me.
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She's probably talking behind your back too. Is she does it with you...
 
FoxxyLocs said:
She's told me several times how she admires me for doing things the "right" way. I got married before having kids, DH and I both have successful careers, etc. Those are the things she values. She talks down about them to me, because I guess she thought I would agree with her. All of her judgments about them center around OOW babies and guys she classifies as bums.
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She reminds me of a friend I had to cut off. She would call me after speaking to her friend, just to talk crap about her. She would talk down about her and call her names. I think she just envied said friend amd talking about her made my friend feel better. I slowly cut her off and we went from speaking almost daily to MAYBE twice a year, and I keep it brief.
 
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I had dinner with my homegirl this week, it was so much fun. We went to a ceviche bar and shared a couple of different dishes, everything was so good. We also got champagne with our meal to celebrate my getting into grad school. Afterwards we went to this store that imports their chocolate directly from Switzerland so she could get a late birthday gift for her mom. She got a cherry griotte for herself and bought me a Grand Marnier truffle. :lick: She's such a sweetheart. She left to go back to school yesterday, but I'm hoping to make it to the West Coast to visit her later this year.
 
Miss617 said:
I had dinner with my homegirl this week, it was so much fun. We went to a ceviche bar and shared a couple of different dishes, everything was so good. We also got champagne with our meal to celebrate my getting into grad school. Afterwards we went to this store that imports their chocolate directly from Switzerland so she could get a late birthday gift for her mom. She got a cherry griotte for herself and bought me a Grand Marnier truffle. :lick: She's such a sweetheart. She left to go back to school yesterday, but I'm hoping to make it to the West Coast to visit her later this year.
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Well, don't y'all sound grown! :lol:
 
My family takes me for granted. I am not one that takes pride in being the one everyone goes to in my family. Other people can handle that and actually like being that person. I do not. Whenever someone asks me to do something that I feel they can do on their own I am annoyed that I have to help. I have started slowly backing off in the hopes that they will figure it out on their own. But they call more often. I am out of town right now as I am typing this. I just got a phone call asking me if I could call Fed Ex to find out when a package is coming. While I am in a different state and the person on the other end of the phone is sitting at home on the couch. Why do I have to call, I ask. Oh because I don't have the customer service number and you'll think of questions to ask that I always forget. What? :confused::mad: I'm out of town. The answer is NO!

The other day I call TWO people in my family to talk about my decision to switch careers. I'm quite polite and I know my conversation will be long because it is important (to me) so I ask "are you busy" to both of these people when I call. Both say no. The first person listens and then says This shouldn't be a project. Don't make it a project just pick something else to do. Oh yeah no big deal. Just a total career change and my final decision on NOT attending law school. Yeah I'll just pick something. :rolleyes: So I hang up and try again with the 2nd person. Again asked "are you busy" The answer was no. When I start I get cut off Well the bus is coming so I can't talk about this now but let me tell you about so and so real quick. Oh ok :(

When I bring this up people in my family like to say I am pretty self-sufficent and I don't usually bother people with stuff like this so they aren't used to it. Umm that should be even more of a reason to pay attention when I do bring something up right? Then they say I keep people at arms length anyway. Which is total bs. And I'm going to show them just how much. You think you're at arms length now, just you wait and see. Because arms length is me answering MAYBE ONE of your every 20 phone calls. Get ready. I'm done with this.
 
Yes! So happy @KammyGirl
No one has to get or learn or understand anything so long as you get it. Choose you first and foremost. Self preservation is the first law of nature. Instead of you being other's support, you need to build your own Kammy support system/ team/ infrastructure. You deserve to have a happy life where you feel supported and loved.
 
Miss617 said:
I had dinner with my homegirl this week, it was so much fun. We went to a ceviche bar and shared a couple of different dishes, everything was so good. We also got champagne with our meal to celebrate my getting into grad school. Afterwards we went to this store that imports their chocolate directly from Switzerland so she could get a late birthday gift for her mom. She got a cherry griotte for herself and bought me a Grand Marnier truffle. :lick: She's such a sweetheart. She left to go back to school yesterday, but I'm hoping to make it to the West Coast to visit her later this year.
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That sounds like so much fun! Good for you!
 
Ugh. So I had one of my friends ask me if I had weed. Let me rewind for a minute. She went to Denver to live with her boyfriend. She then decided to move back but did not tell anybody until three months later. Which is fine. But the first thing you text me is if I know anyone who's holding? This is a weird question because I am the last friend to be holding and I would like to get rid of it. I said I got an eighth and she is like omw. Then she says can I meet her somewhere. Girl to do a drug transaction? I am not a dealer, no. So it has been an hour. She finally pulls up with "I'm outside." Are you legit treating me like a drug dealer? You not going to come in and chat? I rarely smoke. I had this same eighth for three months and haven't touch weed in about a year. Hell I am surprised she doesn't have a plug. So I throw the stuff in a purse and she is parked on the other side of the road. Yeah, this does not look like a drug deal. She asked me why I have a purse, where am I going? Uh, I am not about to bring in outside in my hand. She has her brother in the car and says she can only afford 10$. Mannnn are you serious? I did not even know you could get weed for 10$. Do people get beat up for coming at drug dealers like that. I was offended. Who rolls out of bed for 10$? So I am looking like, " uhhhhhh." She was like do you have a scale? How does 10$ worth of weed look? I said this was 40$ so break off about a fourth and take a little more since it is two of y'all.

Just the whole exchange was... Next time I will ignore her.
 
So my friend admitted to shading someone because the girl's husband doesn't help much with the kids. She shaded her by telling her how active her husband is with their son. She said this in front of another friend who she has had this exact same convo with... which means she's shaded her too. Keep talking girl...
 
locabouthair said:
I need to work on my boundaries and start telling people no. And people have been asking me for money lately. It wasn't a lot of money but it makes me feel uneasy.
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Yep, that uneasy feeling is your signal to shore up your boundaries. They need money? Get a second job. Get a loan. You have every right to your money. Someone asked me for money recently too. And afterwards I had that uneasy feeling as well. I decided then that I'm going to maintain whatever plans I have for my money. If I want to help people, be charitable, I will donate to a charity :).
 
So I gave you a heads up on the situation. I also mentioned the reason for my actions a while ago. Why are you asking me another silly question and including stupid smilies in your text.

I'm not going to respond and after this post I will not be placing anymore energy into this.

Toodles~
 
LostInAdream said:
Went hiking today with a local meetup group and it was awesome. I love nature and an so glad I'll be free to do as I please in the very near future. So glad my sister and friend invited me.
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caribeandiva said:
Spent the day lounging poolside and swimming with a close friend. We made cocktails, ate frozen treat and desserts. She's a single mom and this was her weekend away from the kids. We talked about everything especially sex and the friends we cut off over the years. It was a blast.
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So happy for both of you! Sounds like so much fun :grin:.
 
Just home from the kids party. It was so much fun. I got there early to help set up and then didn't do anything but stand off to the side and watch all the kiddies play. There were 2 little girls who got there super early before everyone so I played with them while I put the finishing touches on some of the displays. They were so adorable. And after the clown came and painted their faces they came to find me so they could show me and do their "rawwrs" (she was a kitty cat) and twirls (and she was a butterfly). Well behaved Children are so precious.
 
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