'marrying Down' Costs Educated Women $25k A Year

[Femmefatal1981]

Not necessarily. In that case they would be mothering their children from black men the same.
Some of the most problack folk I know married out, I married to a black man care a lot less abouf "saving" adult men who in too many cases would not do the same.

DH and I already know our kids are black and we'd be raising them to gain the best out of life, especially with daughters who i would not encourage to marry down for any reason.

I'm not going to go around in circles but one can only be so pro black while marrying out...it is what it is.

As far as your children being black go if your husband is white that's not guaranteed. Biracial people decide how to identify themselves and sometimes they make choices their parents don't agree with.

My black daughters are being raised to marry successful loving black men like their father. He is their hero, their prince charming , the man that makes the magic happen. What I tell them is that if mommy can have a husband like this you can too, I'm teaching by example. This is one of the rare times that I regret not trying for a son so that my husband could teach him the same lesson about black women.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

A less educated husband can spell financial ruin – especially for Black women.

I hate to derail this thread but I stumbled upon this majestic feat of hotepery on the Tube of You that addresses this very issue. For the Hotep averse = Education and careers make black women unwifeable.

For the rest of you adventurous types, start at 4:50 and let the wokeness flow through you. Warning: Do Not Listen to this **** for more than 5 straight minutes or you will wake up in a shoebox apartment as a 3rd wife with 4 kids and multiple anks to polish.


Peep the white mans shoes in the background.

I love your posts. "Tube of You"

 

[Dellas]

I love your posts. "Tube of You"

I missed that post. That is a lot of work for a working woman. I will want to stay single and happy if he is my only choice. Dang.

This is a no win situation.
If you don't have your own you are not a bad chick.

If you have your own then you too independent.

Crazy. A great guy once told me good guys are simple. No drama. If they are about that drama they are gay. His words not mine.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

I missed that post. That is a lot of work for a working woman. I will want to stay single and happy if he is my only choice. Dang.

This is a no win situation.
If you don't have your own you are not a bad chick.

If you have your own then you too independent.

Crazy. A great guy once told me good guys are simple. No drama. If they are about that drama they are gay. His words not mine.

I like that guy

 

[MzRhonda]

I'm not going to go around in circles but one can only be so pro black while marrying out...it is what it is.

As far as your children being black go if your husband is white that's not guaranteed. Biracial people decide how to identify themselves and sometimes they make choices their parents don't agree with.

My black daughters are being raised to marry successful loving black men like their father. He is their hero, their prince charming , the man that makes the magic happen. What I tell them is that if mommy can have a husband like this you can too, I'm teaching by example. This is one of the rare times that I regret not trying for a son so that my husband could teach him the same lesson about black women.

Love it!

 

[shelli4018]

I'm not going to go around in circles but one can only be so pro black while marrying out...it is what it is.

As far as your children being black go if your husband is white that's not guaranteed. Biracial people decide how to identify themselves and sometimes they make choices their parents don't agree with.

My black daughters are being raised to marry successful loving black men like their father. He is their hero, their prince charming , the man that makes the magic happen. What I tell them is that if mommy can have a husband like this you can too, I'm teaching by example. This is one of the rare times that I regret not trying for a son so that my husband could teach him the same lesson about black women.

In my experience as the mother of biracial sons, children tend to take after the mother. My sons are free to date whomever they choose. But once the older ones reached dating age each naturally gravitated toward black women. If anything biracial folk may be more motivate to "marry in" because of their racial makeup.

 

[Brownie]

...

 

[PrissiSippi]

You're right about how people used to do more in terms of building and fixing....you watch house hunters, and most of the men, don't want to do yard work or home renovations. Nowadays people are quick to pay someone to do a lot of things that older folks knew how to do themselves.

I've noticed this too. I blame video games. My little nephews and cousins growing up don't tinker with things. They don't even go outside much. They stay inside on these video games and iPads and miss the opportunity to learn how to do a lot with their hands. Then we end up with a generations that has to shell out big bucks to do small things.

 

[MzRhonda]

I've noticed this too. I blame video games. My little nephews and cousins growing up don't tinker with things. They don't even go outside much. They stay inside on these video games and iPads and miss the opportunity to learn how to do a lot with their hands. Then we end up with a generations that has to shell out big bucks to do small things.

my dad changed the oil in his car....I don't see many men doing that themselves....our 1st and 2nd house he and friends built...he knew someone who knew someone to help or do the work he did not know how to do....it took some years to finish but when it was all said and done he owed NO ONE.....No Bank, no one. That is a trait I looked for in my dh.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

my dad changed the oil in his car....I don't see many men doing that themselves....our 1st and 2nd house he and friends built...he knew someone who knew someone to help or do the work he did not know how to do....it took some years to finish but when it was all said and done he owed NO ONE.....No Bank, no one. That is a trait I looked for in my dh.

Same here! My dad built our first house on family land. No mortgage, no loans. My husband is very good with his hands and so is his brother. They learned from their dads and grandpas who learned from their fathers...fathers are important to girls and boys.

 

[DarkJoy]

wrong thread

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

You're right about how people used to do more in terms of building and fixing....you watch house hunters, and most of the men, don't want to do yard work or home renovations. Nowadays people are quick to pay someone to do a lot of things that older folks knew how to do themselves.

I haaaaate this when I watch House Hunters. Like if that was me sitting next to my husband whining about manual labor for our home, my cooch would dry up right then and there.

 

[meka72]

My sister has 2 biracial sons, whom she's raised as unicorns. They are in high school and both date white/biracial/others. She has a younger (all) black son who will likely follow in their footsteps.

They actually won't be fine...and unfortunately all these black women will do is raise boys who are more likely to marry non black women like all biracial children. Next thing you know you have wiped out your black bloodline. Having a black mother isn't some magic cure all.

 

[shelli4018]

My sister has 2 biracial sons, whom she's raised as unicorns. They are in high school and both date white/biracial/others. She has a younger (all) black son who will likely follow in their footsteps.

Are they in a predominantly white area/school? We're in the DMV.

 

[barbiesocialite]

I'm not going to go around in circles but one can only be so pro black while marrying out...it is what it is.

As far as your children being black go if your husband is white that's not guaranteed. Biracial people decide how to identify themselves and sometimes they make choices their parents don't agree with.

My black daughters are being raised to marry successful loving black men like their father. He is their hero, their prince charming , the man that makes the magic happen. What I tell them is that if mommy can have a husband like this you can too, I'm teaching by example. This is one of the rare times that I regret not trying for a son so that my husband could teach him the same lesson about black women.

Idk if I genuinely believe this.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Idk if I genuinely believe this.

Yeah men don't care about seeing what a queen mommy is. I have a coworker now where him and all his brothers were raised by a prominent black pastor and educated black woman. Yet, every single one of them like light skinned or not-black women. You would think they would value Black girls more seeing how successful both of their black parents are and look up to them but nahhhh.

 

[MzRhonda]

Yeah men don't care about seeing what a queen mommy is. I have a coworker now where him and all his brothers were raised by a prominent black pastor and educated black woman. Yet, every single one of them like light skinned or not-black women. You would think they would value Black girls more seeing how successful both of their black parents are and look up to them but nahhhh.

Many of the black males I see in high school are dating yt, hispanic, mixed or other...many of these young men have black mothers and come from single family households.

 

[bubbles12345]

Many of the black males I see in high school are dating yt, hispanic, mixed or other...many of these young men have black mothers and come from single family households.

That's why I'm like if a black person has a biracial daughter and keeps her involved in the black community, she'll most likely find a black male partner since many of BM love mixed looking women. And then you have the Obama and Jessie bae types that love them a black women. That's why I don't get these oh if you marry out you're automatically gonna completely whiten out your blood line types of posts.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Since most boards this picture have hit are claiming that everybody in this picture is either regla or diet black then I'm just going to put it out there that biracial women and octoroons are doing just fine when it comes to keeping the blood lines black.

[/

 

[meka72]

Overall the city is predominantly white but they live in a very integrated area of the city and attend a school that's probably 60-70% white/30%-40% non-white, mostly black.

Are they in a predominantly white area/school? We're in the DMV.

 

[DarkJoy]

My sister has 2 biracial sons, whom she's raised as unicorns. They are in high school and both date white/biracial/others. She has a younger (all) black son who will likely follow in their footsteps.

do you know how the mother feel about the oldest ones preferences?

 

[MzRhonda]

Since most boards this picture have hit are claiming that everybody in this picture is either regla or diet black then I'm just going to put it out there that biracial women and octoroons are doing just fine when it comes to keeping the blood lines black.

[/

Since I recognize one as an actor I will assume the other males are doing well financially and not being able to tell the race of the women they are with I will assume most are not black so less black men available for black women to marry up with.

 

[DarkJoy]

Since most boards this picture have hit are claiming that everybody in this picture is either regla or diet black then I'm just going to put it out there that biracial women and octoroons are doing just fine when it comes to keeping the blood lines black.

[/

yes my biracial cousin married black. her brothers all married white.

 

[meka72]

do you know how the mother feel about the oldest ones preferences?

His mother (my sister) is fine with it to an extent. But then she's always talking about these hot ass white girls calling her house.

When I say that she raised them to be unicorns, I mean she raised them to think that being "mixed" was better than being black. I had them running around spouting off black power slogans when they were kids but it clearly didn't work. Lol.

 

[Topsido]

[/

This picture is so sad.

 

[Honey Bee]

I haaaaate this when I watch House Hunters. Like if that was me sitting next to my husband whining about manual labor for our home, my cooch would dry up right then and there.

Yes! SO was terrible around the house. His single mother raised him to have the money for repairs, but not the ability. To be fair, she did great in that regard, sent him to an ivy with no debt, he'll inherit property, etc. Nevertheless, I purposefully shamed him out of it, putting together our little Ikea furniture with my own power tools and ish. I wasn't mean about it, just matter of fact. I had been raised with a brother who could do anything with his hands, take apart a car and put it back together, electrical wiring, all that. My little skills ain't nothing compared to him.

Anyway, it worked. SO got better. He's had his own tools for many years now and he's currently considering a certificate course on homebuilding.

Since most boards this picture have hit are claiming that everybody in this picture is either regla or diet black then I'm just going to put it out there that biracial women and octoroons are doing just fine when it comes to keeping the blood lines black.

[/

Aww! Why the brown skinned girl sitting all far away by herself?!

 

[janiebaby]

His mother (my sister) is fine with it to an extent. But then she's always talking about these hot ass white girls calling her house.

It's a shame what I got out of this post is ...."people still call houses?"

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I agree. It is nothing to hear of fathers, uncles, grandfathers who earned less than their wives at one point during their marriage. Especially when Black women could more easily get jobs in women dominated, stable salary paying professions as nurses, secretaries, teachers, etc. They often married men who were more mechanics, plumbers, electricians, construction workers, etc. and those incomes were not as steady. In earlier years, men may have earned less than their wives BUT - and that's a BIG OLE BUT! - the men contributed to the household in other ways. They fixed things in the house, fixed cars, built extensions on homes, etc. That alone amounted to thousands per year that did not come from household income.


Today, I know women married to men who make less than them and those men don't know how to do JACK in the home. Nothing! Not replace a tile, stop a leaking toilet, change the oil, nothing. So the women are paying other men to come into their homes to do things. Even yardwork! That has got to be draining mentally and financially. Today it is a myth that men with lesser income make up for it in other ways. Most do not.

So much truth here. I think it's a cross between not knowing how and also feeling like you earn enough to pay others to do manual labor in the case of some high earning men. A lot of men today cannot fix crap. A friend drove to our house with her horn blaring the entire way so DH could fix it. Her husband was making mid 6 figures but isn't the type to fix things. All he needed to do was disconnect the horn until the next day when the repair shop was open.

DH would never pay for a simple home or car repair. If he can't figure it out and we have to pay someone, you can believe we are getting our money's worth while they teach DH to fix it for next time. My FIL is like that too. I didn't even know DH could install a hot water heater until one went out at a rental property.

 

[hunnychile]

That other thread just made me think....

What about a man who makes less than you but is financially savvy enough to amass a tidy sum? Like that bus driver or janitor or whatever that older gentleman was. Does he get a chance?

 

[Femmefatal1981]

Yeah men don't care about seeing what a queen mommy is. I have a coworker now where him and all his brothers were raised by a prominent black pastor and educated black woman. Yet, every single one of them like light skinned or not-black women. You would think they would value Black girls more seeing how successful both of their black parents are and look up to them but nahhhh.

I don't think my husband and family members are some weird exception....just because you have a black mother doesn't mean it's reinforced that you are supposed to want/marry a woman like this. My mother in law literally told her sons they weren't to date out and gave reasons why. When they tried it she stopped speaking to him (true story). Most of my aunts did the same thing...those sons are dating or engaged to black women. Even though they didn't go to school with many black girls, don't live in cities with a bunch of a black women etc. The 2 cousins that will probably marry out have mothers who don't think it's a big deal.