YOU CAN NOT CHANGE A MAN!!!! YOU CAN NOT CHANGE A MAN!!
you can not change a man.
StLucianSweetie
Well-Known Member
subscribing. 
Studio_gal
Well-Known Member
Great thread. Subscribing
sky_blu
Well-Known Member
Wow......GREAT thread!
Develop YOU before trying to be a GIRLFRIEND or WIFE!
A relationship is never a replacement for a low slef esteem, low energy, or low goals........work on being a GREAT person on your own!
Mary J Blige's "Be Happy" just popped in my head when I read this.
gorgeoushair
Well-Known Member
Thank ya'll for bumping this up. I sooooo needed this......like yesterday
andrea
New Member
Amen. This is so true
P
Paradox
Guest
I've never been in a relationship but this helps me pick friends
watch out and see how the man treats his enemies. you get to see how he reacts in stressful situations.
watch out and see how the man treats his enemies. you get to see how he reacts in stressful situations.
SoSweet08
New Member
The things I learned so far...
- You can't change a guy. He has to be willing to change on his own
- It's okay to take things slow
- Enjoy your moments together, have fun, be positive, and happy because you never know what can happen.
- Life is too stressful. A man or women shouldn't have to come home to a house filled with more drama.
- We have the opportunity to choose who we want to be with and what we want to do in life...choose wisely
- Respect yourself and don't change yourself for anyone...follow your dreams
- Remain independent. Don't depend on anyone because if all comes to worst and you come to a situation where you are being mistreated and you need to leave, you don't want to wait around until you can find a job and save up...save up now, have your own money stash and get that certificate, license or degree because you never know what can happen
- Loving yourself more is important...take care of yourself (inside and out)
- Don't stop your life for anyone. Have a goal...a plan, and go for it.
- Stay calm and talk things out like an adult. Think before you speak because you might regret what you said.
- You don't have to be with your partner 247, you have your own life and he has his.
- It's important for both of you to stay up with your doctor appointments...shoot I will even ask to show each other the results because you just never know.
- Handle your business first before you try to handle or help somebody else.
- Keep things exciting, be a chase, be myseterious
- You don't always have to go on trips or events with your SO...have some things that you do alone or with your friends.
LadyKaypnyc
New Member
1) Your not his momma...
When it started to get cold outside, my SO and I would get into arguments b/c he wasn't dressing warm enough for the weather...or something similar. I have learned that he is a grown *** man, so why should I worry about what he's wearing, if he isn't?
2)You can't change him.
If he constantly did something that really annoyed you when you initially met him, he will still be doing those things 10 years later. So learn to deal with it, or dump him.
3)Say what you mean and mean what you say.
When I'm not feeling something, I say it. Period.
When it started to get cold outside, my SO and I would get into arguments b/c he wasn't dressing warm enough for the weather...or something similar. I have learned that he is a grown *** man, so why should I worry about what he's wearing, if he isn't?
2)You can't change him.
If he constantly did something that really annoyed you when you initially met him, he will still be doing those things 10 years later. So learn to deal with it, or dump him.
3)Say what you mean and mean what you say.
When I'm not feeling something, I say it. Period.
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
1) The relationship doesn't feel like a "good fit" because it's not.
2) Men ALWAYS have time (i.e. make time) to make their feelings known for a woman they care about. He's not that busy, he's just that uninterested.
3) Relationships are what they are, not want you want them to be, think they should be, or hope they will become.
2) Men ALWAYS have time (i.e. make time) to make their feelings known for a woman they care about. He's not that busy, he's just that uninterested.
3) Relationships are what they are, not want you want them to be, think they should be, or hope they will become.
deltagyrl
Well-Known Member
*It's okay to put you first...ahead of the kids, spouse, family and career. You matter.
*Sometimes the answer to your prayer is no.
*Men who have fractured relationships w/ their mother's are, oftentimes, train wrecks.
*Every couple doesn't live happily ever after and that's ok. Learn from it and move on.
*Sometimes the answer to your prayer is no.
*Men who have fractured relationships w/ their mother's are, oftentimes, train wrecks.
*Every couple doesn't live happily ever after and that's ok. Learn from it and move on.
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barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Check my argumentativeness--I can't insist on being right all of the time
even though I KNOW I AM 99.9% of the time
even though I KNOW I AM 99.9% of the time
PhoenixRose360
New Member
From my last relationship I learned:
1) You need to bring something to the table and either meet me halfway or let me catch up to you.
2) both of us need to be ambitious, can't be me and you reap the benefits of my efforts
3)both of us need to be willing to work it out
4) I can't help you with EVERYTHING, you got yourself into it, then get yourself out of it
5) Finally, I'm too old for bullsh*t, if you can't see that I'm a great catch, then poof be gone!!
1) You need to bring something to the table and either meet me halfway or let me catch up to you.
2) both of us need to be ambitious, can't be me and you reap the benefits of my efforts
3)both of us need to be willing to work it out
4) I can't help you with EVERYTHING, you got yourself into it, then get yourself out of it
5) Finally, I'm too old for bullsh*t, if you can't see that I'm a great catch, then poof be gone!!
tiara76
New Member
neither actions nor words mean n e thing if your intuition is telling you something different...love is the intuitive knowledge of our hearts
I'm not here to save people, just love them for who they are and where they are
Honesty and trust go along way, even when being honest "hurts", it always strengthens the bond in the long run
Loving to love feels way better than loving to get...loving to love means the love is already in you now all you have to do is share it....and this way of loving always ensures love is what you get back....what you put out you get back...
all loving relationships start with the self first
men are just as emotionally jacked up as we think women are
men have just as many insecurities as we think most women do, especially about their physical looks
men have just as many hang ups and issues over sex and sexuality as we think women do
some relationships are soley meant to prepare you to becoming a more loving person know when to let go and release, get the lesson and open yourself up to invite in the deeper relationship of love
hurt people hurt others and a relationship of taking jabs at each other will ensure you create a nice unhealthy bond of negative energy that keeps you together but not happy
true heart connections aren't determined by a legal contract....if you don't have the heart connection before you get married, there is a good chance you won't have it after you get married....sacred marriage is the union of two souls on mind/body/spirit levels...unite your souls to each other in love to really feel what a sacred union really feels like
conditional love doesn't make people feel secure in their relationship....EVER...whether married, together for years, or anything else...unconditional love does
what bothers you in others is what you have an issue with within yourself
men really do like women who like themselves
the "nice guy" is the equivalent to the "nice girl".....nothing but sugar coated terms for doormats and people who don't think they deserve n e thing more than to get ran over...some "nice" people lay down and try to grab your feet to stomp all over them and then get upset about it
resisting temptation doesn't make one strong, just makes them more neurotic within and more cause more internal fighting, conflict and anger....getting to the core issue of why the temptation exists or experiencing the temptation is what gets them over it
Overpowering another in a relationship is only satisfying for a short period of time and does neither party any good
there is a difference between sharing of yourself with another as a gift in love and completely giving away yourself to another where they have all the power over you
compromising yourself for "love" gives you no different feeling than if you compromised yourself in any other circumstance.....there is a difference between wanting to be open and make conscious efforts to start enjoying what you do and engage in if you don't vs doing what doesn't bring you joy and settling for the discontent feeling you have with yourself simply to appease another
Being in tune with yourself makes it that much easier to be in tune with others...when you stop dilluding yourself and remove your own masks and fronts you will clearly be able to see others
If you experience a great love and it ends it doesn't mean you go out and settle for less than what you just experienced it means something greater is possible for you to experience...the end of a great love isn't a punishment, its a blessing to let you know that there is greater for all involved....when you do find a great love enjoy it whether it last for a month or 10 years....most people are so concerned over whats gonna happen tomorrow or in the future with this love that all they focus on is the thought of losing it and never enjoy what they have in the present moment...
waiting on somebody else to change will only leave you frustrated and unhappy...be the change you want to see in a relationship..either the one you are in will change for the better or it will end to bring you in one that will bring you what you are wanting to experience
there is a difference in targeting a man's heart vs targeting his ego....
if a man is chasing me, it means I haven't chosen him and most likely never will...
there is no need to chase a man, if a woman is chasing he is running....
mutual connections and acting on real feelings lead to healthy relationships...anybody who isn't keeping it real when you are won't be a vibrating match to you and vice versa
the spirit thrives off of expression, wilts on repression....expressing love when one feels it makes the heart sing...repressing it because another isn't responding to you a certain way means that other person has power over your expressions and note there is a difference between loving somebody and being okay with how things are and being obsessed trying to force things to be a certain way by any means necessary (ie emotional manipulation, playing games, using things against them, punishing them, etc) those aren't actions out of love
no time is ever wasted in a relationship...and the "bad" ones provide the most opportunity for growth, strength and ability to become more loving
I'm not here to save people, just love them for who they are and where they are
Honesty and trust go along way, even when being honest "hurts", it always strengthens the bond in the long run
Loving to love feels way better than loving to get...loving to love means the love is already in you now all you have to do is share it....and this way of loving always ensures love is what you get back....what you put out you get back...
all loving relationships start with the self first
men are just as emotionally jacked up as we think women are
men have just as many insecurities as we think most women do, especially about their physical looks
men have just as many hang ups and issues over sex and sexuality as we think women do
some relationships are soley meant to prepare you to becoming a more loving person know when to let go and release, get the lesson and open yourself up to invite in the deeper relationship of love
hurt people hurt others and a relationship of taking jabs at each other will ensure you create a nice unhealthy bond of negative energy that keeps you together but not happy
true heart connections aren't determined by a legal contract....if you don't have the heart connection before you get married, there is a good chance you won't have it after you get married....sacred marriage is the union of two souls on mind/body/spirit levels...unite your souls to each other in love to really feel what a sacred union really feels like
conditional love doesn't make people feel secure in their relationship....EVER...whether married, together for years, or anything else...unconditional love does
what bothers you in others is what you have an issue with within yourself
men really do like women who like themselves
the "nice guy" is the equivalent to the "nice girl".....nothing but sugar coated terms for doormats and people who don't think they deserve n e thing more than to get ran over...some "nice" people lay down and try to grab your feet to stomp all over them and then get upset about it
resisting temptation doesn't make one strong, just makes them more neurotic within and more cause more internal fighting, conflict and anger....getting to the core issue of why the temptation exists or experiencing the temptation is what gets them over it
Overpowering another in a relationship is only satisfying for a short period of time and does neither party any good
there is a difference between sharing of yourself with another as a gift in love and completely giving away yourself to another where they have all the power over you
compromising yourself for "love" gives you no different feeling than if you compromised yourself in any other circumstance.....there is a difference between wanting to be open and make conscious efforts to start enjoying what you do and engage in if you don't vs doing what doesn't bring you joy and settling for the discontent feeling you have with yourself simply to appease another
Being in tune with yourself makes it that much easier to be in tune with others...when you stop dilluding yourself and remove your own masks and fronts you will clearly be able to see others
If you experience a great love and it ends it doesn't mean you go out and settle for less than what you just experienced it means something greater is possible for you to experience...the end of a great love isn't a punishment, its a blessing to let you know that there is greater for all involved....when you do find a great love enjoy it whether it last for a month or 10 years....most people are so concerned over whats gonna happen tomorrow or in the future with this love that all they focus on is the thought of losing it and never enjoy what they have in the present moment...
waiting on somebody else to change will only leave you frustrated and unhappy...be the change you want to see in a relationship..either the one you are in will change for the better or it will end to bring you in one that will bring you what you are wanting to experience
there is a difference in targeting a man's heart vs targeting his ego....
if a man is chasing me, it means I haven't chosen him and most likely never will...
there is no need to chase a man, if a woman is chasing he is running....
mutual connections and acting on real feelings lead to healthy relationships...anybody who isn't keeping it real when you are won't be a vibrating match to you and vice versa
the spirit thrives off of expression, wilts on repression....expressing love when one feels it makes the heart sing...repressing it because another isn't responding to you a certain way means that other person has power over your expressions and note there is a difference between loving somebody and being okay with how things are and being obsessed trying to force things to be a certain way by any means necessary (ie emotional manipulation, playing games, using things against them, punishing them, etc) those aren't actions out of love
no time is ever wasted in a relationship...and the "bad" ones provide the most opportunity for growth, strength and ability to become more loving
PhoenixRose360
New Member
firecracker
Well-Known Member
If you suck a wiener, you are a winner..........................................
InchHighPrivateEye
Well-Known Member
Lucie said:
Yess! I am in love with the process of learning this. So far
my SO feels like the right man and we've had our disagreements--neither one of us is perfect--but I can't get over how open of a book everything is.
InchHighPrivateEye
Well-Known Member
firecracker said:
LMAO. Stop!
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