Lessons you have learned in relationships

  • Thread starter Thread starter Bublnbrnsuga
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Someone help me out with this one. Ive been talking to a guy for about a month now and there's times he says he'll call me back but then doesn't or calls me back at odd hours of the night (past 12am). It makes me wider what he's doing ! It really annoys me and I've brought it to his attention once but I try not to keep nagging him. I'm so bad at "dating"

Any advice?
 
tlbaby23 said:
Someone help me out with this one. Ive been talking to a guy for about a month now and there's times he says he'll call me back but then doesn't or calls me back at odd hours of the night (past 12am). It makes me wider what he's doing ! It really annoys me and I've brought it to his attention once but I try not to keep nagging him. I'm so bad at "dating"

Any advice?
Click to expand...

tlbaby23 He's not serious about dating you and probably just looking to hook up. Date others. You should be dating at least 3 guys. Then you wouldn't have time to worry about why one jerk isn't calling back.
 
tlbaby23 said:
Someone help me out with this one. Ive been talking to a guy for about a month now and there's times he says he'll call me back but then doesn't or calls me back at odd hours of the night (past 12am). It makes me wider what he's doing ! It really annoys me and I've brought it to his attention once but I try not to keep nagging him. I'm so bad at "dating"

Any advice?
Click to expand...

He's probably taken.
 
@tibaby23

Girl......He is taken. Sorry to burst your bubble. Try not to answer if he calls after 12. Then when he says he will call you and doesn't, let him know and stop picking up after it continues

You shouldn't be answering after 12. How rudeee, you could be sleeping.
 
SmileyNY said:
tlbaby23 He's not serious about dating you and probably just looking to hook up. Date others. You should be dating at least 3 guys. Then you wouldn't have time to worry about why one jerk isn't calling back.
Click to expand...
IA.
Sounds like he wants you as a booty call .anyone who calls after 12 only wants one thing from you.
 
1. Trust my instincts - I don't need to look at cell phone records, texts, etc. to confirm that he has stepped out on me. Once I get that feeling, it is already confirmed.
 
hes not keeping his word on something as minor at calling you back within a decent time frame--then he doesn't deserve your time

do not reward bad behavior---you teach men /ppl how to treat you
 
  • Don't sell yourself short.
  • Don't ignore red flags.
  • Pay attention to how he treats and speak to his mother and to the women in his life. He may not be the best boyfriend but he will more than likely be a good man to you.
 
I was just telling a best friend of mine yesterday that during my therapy sessions, I have learned one of many lessons, and that is that I need to stop undervaluing myself in relationships (and even friendships). I was doing this and not even realizing it at the time. :nono: It's now that I realize how easy I have been making things for men (not even so much on a physical level); I give 200% of myself in all things and I'm lucky if I get a 10% return on my efforts. Why did I permit that? Well fortunately I can change this and I've already started. I don't have to be a titanium wall of caution or paranoia towards men, I naturally have a gentle and friendly personality, BUT the lesson learned is that I do need to take myself more seriously, hold myself at a higher esteem and expect the same from others without compromise or fear of being alone. I'm so worth it, I just can't and shouldn't be afraid to claim it anymore. :yep: This business of taking 2 of my kindness for 1 weakness has to stop and the best way for me to combat this tendency that I have is to stop ignoring the signs...I see them, and sometimes I silence my better judgement in an effort to be "nice" or "give the benefit of the doubt". Most times I end up with the short end of the stick and I refuse to deal with that anymore. That "gut feeling" and those "signs" are a God given instinct that I plan to utilize more in my relationships and friendships with people from here on forward.

It was a very difficult thing to admit and learn this lesson...I'm gonna be 35 and I don't have squat to show for the years of dating (majority) loser guys who were not worth the time. But I allowed that, and now I've learned, that must change. Otherwise, I will have no one else to blame but myself.
 
People do change, but that does not mean you have to sit around and wait for them to do it. There is no law saying you have to give second chances. Forgive and move on.
 
Be unapologetically you!

Look for persons actions and not their words. There are men who say a lot but do very little.
 
Know what you can live with and what you can't, and don't give him all the power.

Sometimes two people are not right for each other, no matter how much they love each other or what they might have been through.
 
Whatever one does is because they want to...whatever one doesn't do is because they don't want to.
 
Don't waste time on an insecure man because while you are
trying to build him up, he can tear you down.

Don't settle for "potential" because he may never change.
 
Stop looking for something in a significant other that you should be giving to yourself.

Love
appreciation
Stability
Happiness
Joy
Content


are allllllll things you can and should give to yourself.
 
Smiley79 said:
I was just telling a best friend of mine yesterday that during my therapy sessions, I have learned one of many lessons, and that is that I need to stop undervaluing myself in relationships (and even friendships). I was doing this and not even realizing it at the time. :nono: It's now that I realize how easy I have been making things for men (not even so much on a physical level); I give 200% of myself in all things and I'm lucky if I get a 10% return on my efforts. Why did I permit that? Well fortunately I can change this and I've already started. I don't have to be a titanium wall of caution or paranoia towards men, I naturally have a gentle and friendly personality, BUT the lesson learned is that I do need to take myself more seriously, hold myself at a higher esteem and expect the same from others without compromise or fear of being alone. I'm so worth it, I just can't and shouldn't be afraid to claim it anymore. :yep: This business of taking 2 of my kindness for 1 weakness has to stop and the best way for me to combat this tendency that I have is to stop ignoring the signs...I see them, and sometimes I silence my better judgement in an effort to be "nice" or "give the benefit of the doubt". Most times I end up with the short end of the stick and I refuse to deal with that anymore. That "gut feeling" and those "signs" are a God given instinct that I plan to utilize more in my relationships and friendships with people from here on forward.

It was a very difficult thing to admit and learn this lesson...I'm gonna be 35 and I don't have squat to show for the years of dating (majority) loser guys who were not worth the time. But I allowed that, and now I've learned, that must change. Otherwise, I will have no one else to blame but myself.
Click to expand...

Smiley79

Wowww. THANKS YOU FOR THIS
 
It doesn't matter if you love the other person. It matters if you love the relationship. Sometimes you have to look past the person and evaluate your situation. I have loved very hard just to realize the relationship wasn't sh*t.
 
A few more things to add.

- A man with money is....just a bonus
- A woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing. A man's loyalty is tested when he has everything.

910917c178d00c5eabfd005d2daeac31.jpg
 
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