Via an email I received from KP this morning:
"...My mom was a pretty detached mother but the funny thing is I grew to really adopt her detached style and yet when we’re together she has this tendency to mother like most mothers do.
They can't help themselves.
And maybe you even do too without realizing it… so I’d like to talk about this mothering thing in this email.
So she has this thing…of always wanting to hand around in my room when I’m doing my thing like having a shower, getting dressed or just getting ready. It feels like she’s breathing over my neck. She would start folding my clothes, putting away my stuff, helped me packing, etc while I’d much rather her wait somewhere else or do something else but not in my room. In China, the first second the wake up call rang (usually very early like 5 or 6 am) she would knock at my door. Every day like clock work.
It got annoying at times….as if she was waiting outside my door trying to eavesdrop if the phone rang so she could knock on time lol… And I would open the door and have her get busy “mothering” me while I was barely awake and trying to get ready.
I have grown to like my me-time and independence. I love space, if you haven’t already noticed yet lol…
I love her to death, don’t get me wrong, so I never said anything. I thought I would miss this one day so why not enjoy her now?
My point is this…when you do this to a guy, he will feel the exact same way I feel with my mom. You follow him around like a sick puppy, trying to clean his living space, to cook for him (before he’s your bf), to organize his things, solve his problems for him …you get the drift. It feels like what his mother does to him and is why he’s not living with her!
It’s annoying and it’s disruptive.
I’d like to walk around naked after the shower in my room but I can’t cause she’s there (and with the extra weight I have gained I don’t need to hear how much weight I have gained!).
So when you have this tendency with guys and you think you’re being considerate and nice, think again. You are turning him off. This is one of the reasons guys stop talking or having sex with you,
cause you have depolarized yourself by acting like his mother. Showing how much you care for a guy before he shows it first (including giving or buying him stuff before he does it to you) is an example of mothering and why it’s a turn off, contrary to what we think. Asking a guy to call/text us when he arrives safely somewhere is what a mother would do as well.
Pretty counterintuitive, isn’t it?
So stick with me to learn stuff that really works with men. And if you haven’t already, invest in my ebook to work closely with me. My method is the ultimate way of getting a guy and keeping him attracted as long as you live.
Thousands have experienced profound transformation through my teaching. And at least one engagement/week on average -that I know of- has been produced since the publication of the book in late 2012...."
No decent man is going to keep calling and pursuing a woman who is running in the opposite direction. We have to be receptive and provide positive reinforcement for him to keep doing it. I think it's a cycle of lean back-let him pursue-appreciate him-let him process/calculate his next move. Then repeat. It shouldn't be a game--it should be natural. I think staying in the moment is also HUGE. It's very easy to let your mind wonder about a guy with potential. But we have to really force ourselves to keep pace with him. I think even on a subconscious level, men can sense when a woman is anxious for something to happen versus a woman just trusting him and letting him have space...this is where the dating multiple men comes in handy. Keeps you from zeroing in on one man.
