Dating/Finding Love as a Non-Pretty Woman

I've seen women who are ugly based on society's idea of beauty and also dress down, don't do much with their hair ect and they have men as well. So I don't totally agree with the whole if your unattractive you must play up everything else argument. I'm sure it works for some women though.
 
Sometimes facially unattractive women have good bodies and facially beautiful have unattractive bodies. It's not just one thing that attracts a man to a woman. MOST women have something to fall back on if they aren't pretty, be it good skin, a nice bust, a nice waistline, a nice butt, good legs, pretty hair, a nice voice etc. or any combo of those. Obviously, the more attractive you are, the wider appeal you'll have but it can't be impossible for a woman to find a decent man, can it?
 
SerenavanderWoodsen said:
Sometimes facially unattractive women have good bodies and facially beautiful have unattractive bodies. It's not just one thing that attracts a man to a woman. MOST women have something to fall back on if they aren't pretty, be it good skin, a nice bust, a nice waistline, a nice butt, good legs, pretty hair, a nice voice etc. or any combo of those. Obviously, the more attractive you are, the wider appeal you'll have but it can't be impossible for a woman to find a decent man, can it?
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I'm starting to wonder...
 
Afrobuttafly said:
I've seen women who are ugly based on society's idea of beauty and also dress down, don't do much with their hair ect and they have men as well. So I don't totally agree with the whole if your unattractive you must play up everything else argument. I'm sure it works for some women though.
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If you're unattractive you don't necessarily have to do anything. But if you want to COMPETE with attractive women and even attractive men (I tend to think of "bagging" certain types of men as competing with them) then you definitely have to have something.

If you don't want to just take whatever walks by, if you want more control and more choice in your options, then yeah, I think you have to have something special going on. YMMV.
 
i'm not going to be PC in this thread. i have seen unattractive women cook for men. especially at work. it's always some chick trying to bring a man a plate of food for lunch or to take home.
 
Someone once said charm is better than beauty, I do believe it. A charming personality is a huge plus let me know if you want an e-book on charm OP.
 
mischka said:
If you're unattractive you don't necessarily have to do anything. But if you want to COMPETE with attractive women and even attractive men (I tend to think of "bagging" certain types of men as competing with them) then you definitely have to have something.

If you don't want to just take whatever walks by, if you want more control and more choice in your options, then yeah, I think you have to have something special going on. YMMV.
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That is just having standards/self respect regardless of what you look like. I get what you are saying to some degree. My point is, that "something" some women have going on is not always her outward appearance. The laws of attraction are not so rigid. So for some of the ladies to be saying you need to put on makeup and make sure your hair is done ect..to get attention is not always true. Some men are attracted to a less high maintenance appearance/vibe. If you are plain looking you will attract some men that find that attractive..not necessarily just whatever walks by. If you want to attract a man that expects you to look like you just stepped out of Glamour magazine the majority of the time, then yes, by all means doll it up. But if you want to attract men that are in to more natural/plain looking women then do that. If you want to attract man heauxs then dress like a street walker. Are there exceptions? Sure...but the response you get can depend on the vibe/signal you send out. An "unattractive" women does not have to go overboard with the fluff to be attractive to somebody.
 
I am so confused with the notion of "keeping your looks up"...I can understand being healthy, but men tend to hit on me when I am wearing a wife beater and sweats so why should I even try to look nice.
 
lushcoils said:
^^^

I didn't see anyone not seeing themselves as attractive. I think I'm pretty, but to the average male? I'm not. Since most men approach based on looks, I think it's a normal conversation to have for women like me who want to improve their appeal. It doesn't have to be awkward lol, just acknowledging reality that a few of us may have to do a few things differently to get what we want. However, I do agree with not going over the top in makeup, weave, and clothes. That's not my style personally.
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Check out that pheromone thread on here. It's enlightening and entertaining at the same time. :yep:
 
CarLiTa said:
What do you think the average male wants and how are you not hitting the mark?

I definitely agree with wanting to improve one's appeal and brainstorming ways to do so. I guess what I really dislike abt these conversations is that I often don't find the responses to show sympathy nor empathy... there are usually too many responses with: well I don't know what you're talking abt bc I'm blessed with amazing looks... or: yeah you're probably ugly... or: you don't have that je ne sais quoi, and you're not gonna get it.

*shudder* It's like a bunch of posters thrive on these threads to come toot their own horns.
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I completely agree. :nono:
 
I was reading a study that said that flirtation was more important than looks in predicting how much attention you get from the opposite sex. They described different types of flirting (physical, traditional, fun).

So maybe unpretty women can work on making themselves seem available, interested and flirtatious.
 
There is no non-pretty woman/man imho. There a people that you or me may not find physically attractive but others will.
 
Uhmm you should ask a group of guys this question. Cuz they are the ones that hold the key---not other chicks. I personally don't ask women men related questions. Like asking a lion why monkeys like bananas...
 
Pretty, ugly, average, it's all subjective. My boyfriend tells me that a man will chose an ugly woman with a banging body that a pretty woman with a so so body and I believe him.
 
^^ A few of my guy friends have told me this too. a few lady friends of mine have told me that they rather have a banging body than a pretty face. I'm not sure I agree (with the ladies). I'd rather a have a pretty face and work on my body. Just my 2 cents...
 
^^^

I've heard men say the exact opposite. They would sex a girl with a banging body but marry the girl with the pretty face. Meh.
 
Incognitus said:
^^ A few of my guy friends have told me this too. a few lady friends of mine have told me that they rather have a banging body than a pretty face. I'm not sure I agree (with the ladies). I'd rather a have a pretty face and work on my body. Just my 2 cents...
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This right here i agree with. :yep:. You can always lose the the weight, but the face...:look:

As for the OP this is a pretty old post so I just kinda skimmed it. I can personally tell you that since I'm a non-pretty woman I just do my best to dress well. Can't be ugly and a horrid dresser. :look:
 
Jennifer Hudson might have a hot new body but her face is...... well... ugly. So cute face beats hot body. You can work on your body.
 
RachelRegina said:
This right here i agree with. :yep:. You can always lose the the weight, but the face...:look:

As for the OP this is a pretty old post so I just kinda skimmed it. I can personally tell you that since I'm a non-pretty woman I just do my best to dress well. Can't be ugly and a horrid dresser. :look:
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I understand the concept. I have big feet (sz 12) and I always say that I can't have big feet and ugly shoes or toes. So I make sure my shoes are nice and my toes are always done. :look:

Okay said:
Jennifer Hudson might have a hot new body but her face is...... well... ugly. So cute face beats hot body. You can work on your body.
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:grin: Interesting example. :lol:
 
Incognitus said:
^^ A few of my guy friends have told me this too. a few lady friends of mine have told me that they rather have a banging body than a pretty face. I'm not sure I agree (with the ladies). I'd rather a have a pretty face and work on my body. Just my 2 cents...
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there was a thread about this in OT a while ago. A couple posters' DHs said this exact same thing--if the body is right, they can work with the face.

I know more buttaheads with bangin bodies in relationships than chicks with pretty faces and sloppy bodies :look:
 
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