Calling in the One Challenge

frogkisses said:
In fact right when I finished the book I met my fiancé! The book helped me in many different ways, and I'm hoping my fiancé will read it even though we are already together :)
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That's amazing!!! Even more proof that this book really does give you results if you do the work. I love reading the success stories! :yep:
 
I'm having a hard time expressing what I need in a relationship to be happy. I'm doing the practice exercise and I thought it would be so easy until I started. In my heart I know what I need, but it's so hard to put it into words. I don't know if that makes sense. I'm wondering if that is part of my problem. Men can't figure me out because I am unable to even across what I really want. It's crazy! My heart is beating fast and I'm nervous as if I will write something wrong or someone has to approve of my needs.

I am very anxious about writing the letter to myself. Same reasons as above. Also I've been thru a verbally abusive relationship and instead of loving and sweet things coming to mind, the negative words came to the front, "no one will ever love you", "you aren't beautiful". I know in order to heal and move forward I have to get past this. I just didn't think I would be in tears so early on in the book.

Has anyone else had any similar experience to what I'm going thru?
 
prettykinks said:
I'm having a hard time expressing what I need in a relationship to be happy. I'm doing the practice exercise and I thought it would be so easy until I started. In my heart I know what I need, but it's so hard to put it into words. I don't know if that makes sense. I'm wondering if that is part of my problem. Men can't figure me out because I am unable to even across what I really want. It's crazy! My heart is beating fast and I'm nervous as if I will write something wrong or someone has to approve of my needs.

I am very anxious about writing the letter to myself. Same reasons as above. Also I've been thru a verbally abusive relationship and instead of loving and sweet things coming to mind, the negative words came to the front, "no one will ever love you", "you aren't beautiful". I know in order to heal and move forward I have to get past this. I just didn't think I would be in tears so early on in the book.

Has anyone else had any similar experience to what I'm going thru?
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I cried through several lessons in this book. For me it was mostly daddy/abandonment issues that I thought I had dealt with long before. But yeah keep at it. There'll be more tears trust me :lol:

On a side note I just had another friend buy the book. That makes it 4 friends now who bought it at my suggestion! She's gonna start reading it in a few days. I think I'm gonna reread it with her, maybe not do the exercises though this time.
 
prettykinks said:
I'm having a hard time expressing what I need in a relationship to be happy. I'm doing the practice exercise and I thought it would be so easy until I started. In my heart I know what I need, but it's so hard to put it into words. I don't know if that makes sense. I'm wondering if that is part of my problem. Men can't figure me out because I am unable to even across what I really want. It's crazy! My heart is beating fast and I'm nervous as if I will write something wrong or someone has to approve of my needs.

I am very anxious about writing the letter to myself. Same reasons as above. Also I've been thru a verbally abusive relationship and instead of loving and sweet things coming to mind, the negative words came to the front, "no one will ever love you", "you aren't beautiful". I know in order to heal and move forward I have to get past this. I just didn't think I would be in tears so early on in the book.

Has anyone else had any similar experience to what I'm going thru?
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I'm sorry that this is so difficult for you, @prettykinks . When it comes to the list of things you need, I say trust yourself. Write down any and everything you can think of because you don't have to share that with anyone and there are no wrong answers. This is an exercise that will help you learn to reclaim the power you've lost to state your needs. You are as worthy of having your needs met as anyone else. The person/people who verbally abused you cannot hurt you now. Take your power back by creating your list, no matter what anyone else would say or think about what you add to it.

If you're where I think you are in the book, the letter you're writing is supposed to come from your ideal lover. Think of all of the things you want your beloved to say, think and feel about you. You seem to be quite sensitive (that is not an insult - so am I) and vulnerable right now, perhaps your ideal lover is a man who feels honored that you trust him enough to be vulnerable with him. Maybe he tells you that your ability to be vulnerable heightens his love and inclination to protect you and your feelings, inspiring him to be the best man that he can be for himself and for you. Maybe he tells you that your beauty incites in him a passion that knows no rival, and every moment he spends away from you he lives in expectation of the moment he can see, caress, and kiss you again.

Big hugs, lady! :bighug:This can be hard. Just sit with it for a little while if you need. The answers will come.
 
I got the audiobook and these testimonies are scaring me. I don't know if I want to meet the one at this point in my life. I haven't really dated much and I'm still trying to sort out if I want a relationship, to meet the one, or just date a bunch.
 
I've been MIA in this thread. I started the book but never finished. The good thing is I met a guy via my friends. We both had been thru some tough times in relationships and felt we were done. We were both wrong. It started with a simple "hello" and blossomed into LOVE!!! It's been 5 months and that's not alot of time but we have discussed so many topics from our past relationships, kids, finances, work ethics, religion, etc. I write down my thoughts and he addresses my concerns in much detail. I can honestly say that we are in this for the long haul. He opened up and told me that when we first started talking he was also talking to other women (no sex involved). He weeded them out within a few weeks of meeting me. He stated that none of them could compare to what he found in me.

The very good part is that I've known his family for almost 8 years and am in contact almost daily and before him my kids already considered his parents and called them NANA and POP POP. After talking more and finally meeting face to face we found out we go to the same church. There are so many people there that I didn't notice him( according to him) lol. He has spoken to me a few times there but I never gave it much thought because meeting someone wasn't on my mind. He even tried to get his sister to get my attention so we could meet and talk but I was always engrossed in whatever activity I was doing and dismissed her and said we can talk later (LOL). He said he gave up and didn't try again.

I'm around his family all the time and knew of him but never really got to know him due to him working and/or being at other functions and the same on my end. It's crazy how our paths finally crossed. There is no getting to know our families , except on my end because he didn't know my parents, but our families know each other really well. He recently told me that he loved me. Last night he went into great detail telling me why he loves me and what caused a shift in his thinking and heart. It felt so good to hear him open up and pour out his heart to me. He says this is it for him. He isn't going anywhere and wants to move forward with me. He's been talking to my parents alot and honestly I think he wants more than what we have now. He has hinted at wanting me to be his wife and having more children with me. Thru the sibling grapevine I was informed that he plans to have a special meeting with my parents soon. Hmmm I'm not sure what that's about but they think he wants to ask for my hand!!!! Only time will tell what happens next.

Things that I noticed mad a difference this time for me were, waiting to get face to face (we texted and talked on the phone for a bit before meeting), no sex ( I want to have clear thinking with this. I don't want to feel I'm inlove when all I love is his peen. We gained an emotional connection before anything else. When he tells me he loves me I know he does and it isn't about what we did in bed last night.

I'm so excited about where we are headed. I guess I need to finish the book eventually lol. There is some very good info in there. I will keep updating this thread and get back in the book.
 
prettykinks said:
I've been MIA in this thread. I started the book but never finished. The good thing is I met a guy via my friends. We both had been thru some tough times in relationships and felt we were done. We were both wrong. It started with a simple "hello" and blossomed into LOVE!!! It's been 5 months and that's not alot of time but we have discussed so many topics from our past relationships, kids, finances, work ethics, religion, etc. I write down my thoughts and he addresses my concerns in much detail. I can honestly say that we are in this for the long haul. He opened up and told me that when we first started talking he was also talking to other women (no sex involved). He weeded them out within a few weeks of meeting me. He stated that none of them could compare to what he found in me.

The very good part is that I've known his family for almost 8 years and am in contact almost daily and before him my kids already considered his parents and called them NANA and POP POP. After talking more and finally meeting face to face we found out we go to the same church. There are so many people there that I didn't notice him( according to him) lol. He has spoken to me a few times there but I never gave it much thought because meeting someone wasn't on my mind. He even tried to get his sister to get my attention so we could meet and talk but I was always engrossed in whatever activity I was doing and dismissed her and said we can talk later (LOL). He said he gave up and didn't try again.

I'm around his family all the time and knew of him but never really got to know him due to him working and/or being at other functions and the same on my end. It's crazy how our paths finally crossed. There is no getting to know our families , except on my end because he didn't know my parents, but our families know each other really well. He recently told me that he loved me. Last night he went into great detail telling me why he loves me and what caused a shift in his thinking and heart. It felt so good to hear him open up and pour out his heart to me. He says this is it for him. He isn't going anywhere and wants to move forward with me. He's been talking to my parents alot and honestly I think he wants more than what we have now. He has hinted at wanting me to be his wife and having more children with me. Thru the sibling grapevine I was informed that he plans to have a special meeting with my parents soon. Hmmm I'm not sure what that's about but they think he wants to ask for my hand!!!! Only time will tell what happens next.

Things that I noticed mad a difference this time for me were, waiting to get face to face (we texted and talked on the phone for a bit before meeting), no sex ( I want to have clear thinking with this. I don't want to feel I'm inlove when all I love is his peen. We gained an emotional connection before anything else. When he tells me he loves me I know he does and it isn't about what we did in bed last night.

I'm so excited about where we are headed. I guess I need to finish the book eventually lol. There is some very good info in there. I will keep updating this thread and get back in the book.
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I'm so happy for you!! :biggrin:
 
caribeandiva said:
I cried through several lessons in this book. For me it was mostly daddy/abandonment issues that I thought I had dealt with long before. But yeah keep at it. There'll be more tears trust me :lol:
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Yup. The 70x7 passage made me cry unexpectedly. She explained that it doesn't mean you let someone mistreat you 490 times lol. It means that something may come to your mind 70x7 times, and you have to forgive it and let it go in order to empower yourself and be free.
 
Papoose said:
Me @Chocoluxe. I need to break out of this rut and make some things happen...
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MzLady78 said:
I will. I've had it on my Kindle for who knows how long, should probably read it.
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prettybyrd said:
Yes! I read the book, now I want to go through and do the activities for each chapter. I can re-read with everyone as I go along.
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LaFaraona said:
@Chocoluxe I recently got the book. I am in
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Black Ambrosia said:
@Chocoluxe I'm in. Time to bring in my blessings.
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Sweetg said:
I would like too as well. @Chocoluxe I need to find it in my storage this weekend
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@julzinha

Download the Group Me app on your computer or phone, then PM me your email address and I will add you to the group. I want to make sure everyone has a safe space to share and be open about their experiences while reading the book.

2017 is our year!! :dance7:
 
I want to join (& hopefully not fall off)!!

I will need to get the book first though. When are you ladies starting?
 
mzpurp said:
I want to join (& hopefully not fall off)!!

I will need to get the book first though. When are you ladies starting?
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We dont have a firm start date just yet, but our group me is seven members deep, so PM me ur email addy so you can join, too!!
 
Chocoluxe said:
We dont have a firm start date just yet, but our group me is seven members deep, so PM me ur email addy so you can join, too!!
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PM sent! I ended up getting my book also. Who knew I had audible credits? :lol: So I'm ready! Going to read through the thread today.
 
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