Katarina Phang's Dating Philosophy

[sweetvi]

I like Katarina's teachings, and she has a free FB group for those who haven't joined any of her programs.

However, some of her followers are doing the most to get commitment from low value men. If any woman is going to invest hundreds of dollars into these programs (Katarina's teachings are not cheap!), the man she ends up with better be about something. Some of those guys come off as straight up kangs.

Girl!!!! I'm in that group lol and they take her concepts and twist it to fit theirs. I think they don't believe themselves to be high value and that's where the problem lies..

I recommend everyone to purchase her book first and foremost and the program I purchased was Journey Inward. I listen to it time n time again. She touches on many issues tjat blocks us .


@keyawarren



Her other programs are too pricey for my taste and I get the just of most of her teachings from her blogs.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Girl!!!! I'm in that group lol and they take her concepts and twist it to fit theirs. I think they don't believe themselves to be high value and that's where the problem lies..

I recommend everyone to purchase her book first and foremost and the program I purchased was Journey Inward. I listen to it time n time again. She touches on many issues tjat blocks us .


@keyawarren



Her other programs are too pricey for my taste and I get the just of most of her teachings from her blogs.

I'm in that group and whoo chile. Did you see the post from the chick who's dating that poly guy but withholding sex? She sounds crazy. I love how Katarina doesn't sugar coat her words. She also removes her energy from people who are wasting her time/advice.

Where did you find her book? Her links are a hot mess. Her advice is interesting but her business acumen is a bit messy. Why are her products not listed in one place??

 

[C@ssandr@]

I like Katarina's teachings, and she has a free FB group for those who haven't joined any of her programs.

However, some of her followers are doing the most to get commitment from low value men. If any woman is going to invest hundreds of dollars into these programs (Katarina's teachings are not cheap!), the man she ends up with better be about something. Some of those guys come off as straight up kangs.

There was a chick who is dating a married man. She totally twisted the idea of winning her EUM back. I was done when she said he never told her he was still married (with a damned kid) and that she found out by accident. That's not being emotionally available, that's being a taken @-hole. Sigh. I'm guessing some of these women are not using the right programs. Angelisa Almanzar has a similar program with self work and self awareness being the beginning of it all. I suspect that the KP's programs are not being used in the proper order. You shouldn't be dealing with an emotionally unavailable man if you lack the skills to keep yourself together. Smh.

 

[sapphire74]

I like Katarina's teachings, and she has a free FB group for those who haven't joined any of her programs.

However, some of her followers are doing the most to get commitment from low value men. If any woman is going to invest hundreds of dollars into these programs (Katarina's teachings are not cheap!), the man she ends up with better be about something. Some of those guys come off as straight up kangs.

What is the name of her FB group? I was only able to find her FB page.

 

[LdyKamz]

Does she suggest an order to her programs? And can someone link the post with the difference between her and Rori Raye. I'm sure I could find it if I searched google but I'm lazy and I'd probably get side tracked.

There was a chick who is dating a married man. She totally twisted the idea of winning her EUM back. I was done when she said he never told her he was still married (with a damned kid) and that she found out by accident. That's not being emotionally available, that's being a taken @-hole. Sigh. I'm guessing some of these women are not using the right programs. Angelisa Almanzar has a similar program with self work and self awareness being the beginning of it all. I suspect that the KP's programs are not being used in the proper order. You shouldn't be dealing with an emotionally unavailable man if you lack the skills to keep yourself together. Smh.

Girl!!!! I'm in that group lol and they take her concepts and twist it to fit theirs. I think they don't believe themselves to be high value and that's where the problem lies..

I recommend everyone to purchase her book first and foremost and the program I purchased was Journey Inward. I listen to it time n time again. She touches on many issues tjat blocks us .


@keyawarren



Her other programs are too pricey for my taste and I get the just of most of her teachings from her blogs.

 

[LadyPBC]

Seeking Understanding ...
I guess that I've always believed that men want to feel desirable as well. If we 'lean back' they may feel as if we are not interested and move along. So how do you show your interest if all you are doing is responding to what they initiate?

 

[LdyKamz]

Seeking Understanding ...
I guess that I've always believed that men want to feel desirable as well. If we 'lean back' they may feel as if we are not interested and move along. So how do you show your interest if all you are doing is responding to what they initiate?

They do but they also want to chase. You show your interest by responding to him. Simple as that.

 

[SurferBabe]

Seeking Understanding ...
I guess that I've always believed that men want to feel desirable as well. If we 'lean back' they may feel as if we are not interested and move along. So how do you show your interest if all you are doing is responding to what they initiate?

She talks about mirroring his behavior. When he is showing interest, be passionate and show interest back. When he is distant, lean back and do your own thing.

 

[SurferBabe]

What is the name of her FB group? I was only able to find her FB page.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hesreallythatintoyou/

 

[fluffyforever]

Seeking Understanding ...
I guess that I've always believed that men want to feel desirable as well. If we 'lean back' they may feel as if we are not interested and move along. So how do you show your interest if all you are doing is responding to what they initiate?

I'm not up to speed on her approach, but it shouldn't be too hard.

Show your interest while you are spending time together and in your responses. Sound excited for his plans. Stroke his ego and compliment him a bit on what he does. Don't let phone or other distractions interrupt dates. Smile and lots of eye contact. Thank him and tell him what you enjoyed most about the date and you had an amazing time. And men will remember a good hug goodbye or some kind of contact.

He should know that you enjoy being with him and find him attractive, but also know you don't chase men and have your own life.

 

[sweetvi]

I'm in that group and whoo chile. Did you see the post from the chick who's dating that poly guy but withholding sex? She sounds crazy. I love how Katarina doesn't sugar coat her words. She also removes her energy from people who are wasting her time/advice.

Where did you find her book? Her links are a hot mess. Her advice is interesting but her business acumen is a bit messy. Why are her products not listed in one place??

What about the black girl who keeps gettimg dissed and used by men. She is so pretty and it breaks my heart that she doesn't know her self worth.

Well when she first popped up on my Google page, it took me to her page that had the lunk for the book ..

Maybe Google Katarina phang ebook

 

[sweetvi]

There was a chick who is dating a married man. She totally twisted the idea of winning her EUM back. I was done when she said he never told her he was still married (with a damned kid) and that she found out by accident. That's not being emotionally available, that's being a taken @-hole. Sigh. I'm guessing some of these women are not using the right programs. Angelisa Almanzar has a similar program with self work and self awareness being the beginning of it all. I suspect that the KP's programs are not being used in the proper order. You shouldn't be dealing with an emotionally unavailable man if you lack the skills to keep yourself together. Smh.

Tell me more about Angelisa

 

[LovelyRo]

Seeking Understanding ...
I guess that I've always believed that men want to feel desirable as well. If we 'lean back' they may feel as if we are not interested and move along. So how do you show your interest if all you are doing is responding to what they initiate?

Being receptive shows interest.

 

[LBoogie85]

Girl!!!! I'm in that group lol and they take her concepts and twist it to fit theirs. I think they don't believe themselves to be high value and that's where the problem lies..

I recommend everyone to purchase her book first and foremost and the program I purchased was Journey Inward. I listen to it time n time again. She touches on many issues tjat blocks us .


@keyawarren



Her other programs are too pricey for my taste and I get the just of most of her teachings from her blogs.

@sweetvi what did you think of Journey Inward? Were there specific exercises or tools that she focuses on or is the program structured differently?

 

[LovelyRo]

There was a chick who is dating a married man. She totally twisted the idea of winning her EUM back. I was done when she said he never told her he was still married (with a damned kid) and that she found out by accident. That's not being emotionally available, that's being a taken @-hole. Sigh. I'm guessing some of these women are not using the right programs. Angelisa Almanzar has a similar program with self work and self awareness being the beginning of it all. I suspect that the KP's programs are not being used in the proper order. You shouldn't be dealing with an emotionally unavailable man if you lack the skills to keep yourself together. Smh.

I listened to a podcast that someone on here posted a few months back and there was a similar situation... I believe Katarina told the person to find someone that was emotionally available... it was so matter of factly... people are special!

 

[sweetvi]

@sweetvi what did you think of Journey Inward? Were there specific exercises or tools that she focuses on or is the program structured differently?

It was a six week program about an hour or more long which tackles different subjects weekly. For example, healing childhood wounds was one topic that I liked.. She also incorporates some meditation exercises within the program. It was organized and useful to Me, and the only thing I didn't like was her going on tangents sometimes. She can talk lol

I still listen to it from time to time

 

[C@ssandr@]

Seeking Understanding ...
I guess that I've always believed that men want to feel desirable as well. If we 'lean back' they may feel as if we are not interested and move along. So how do you show your interest if all you are doing is responding to what they initiate?

I think women who are married or are already in an LTR can explain it better, but I'll take a shot. I did not use KP's program, but I did use the concept that was defined by AA, which is to mirror the guy/s you're dealing with. First off, you don't need to be worried about making him feel desired. That's not really your job, especially if he isn't your man.

When you are dealing with a dude leaning back means to let him do the work. This way you're only investing as much energy into him as he does for you. Things like letting him call you. Letting him set up the dates. Letting him do the footwork. Mirror him instead. Mirroring means to put as much energy into your rlshp as he does. For example if he calls you regularly, then sure, you can call him here and there. If he texts you, then go ahead and text him back. Leaning back serves 2 purposes...1) you won't end up wasting time on a dude who's not that into you. How? Because you are not pushing up on a dude who doesn't want you. 2)You get to observe his character and his level of interest because you see the work he is or isn't putting in.

It is a bit revolutionary for some because you think, well how do I show him I'm interested? You show him by being receptive to his advances and being your absolute self. The philosophy is that feminine energy is not about doing, it is being. Masculine energy is about doing. Men/the masculine are supposed to do the work. It is far more understandable once you start to practice the concepts.

You will actually see it all fall into place once you start to embody your feminine essence. Before me and bf became official, there were two other dudes. They did the calling, the courting, the leading, but they all did it at different paces. I was able to observe who was really bout it. see, we make the mistake of getting mad when guys put us on a side or back burner, when we are supposed to be doing the same thing. If you let them lead and you have more than one guy ("carousel dating" another concept) you'd understand why this is a great thing. you're supposed to be having fun, being yourself, and enjoy the male presence w/o expectations. Because the guy you're supposed to be will do the things he's supposed to do to win you over. Again, this may be hard to understand/see until you put this all into practice.

Things get murky for us when we're doing too much. We know what's up with a dude because's he's not doing enough and you're not receiving much.

Before I paid for this program, I had already started to get the concepts on my own. I'm not completely there just yet, but I've seen results. for example, I don't call men. One day, I just stopped being interested in reaching out to them. My male cohorts know where to find me, especially those who claim to be interested. My current BF is the one who was consistent from jump. Due to leaning back, I could see his interest w/o question. It's been 4 months and I still don't call to talk to him. It's not to brag, It's just an example of him doing his "masculine" thing. He reaches out so much that I don't have to.

 

[Evolving78]

I was reading FB drama about this guy who was mistreating his girlfriend (not sure if she was the babymama). People try to tell him about himself. His response was she pursued him so he didn't owe her respect. He said he was minding his own business and she came to holla at him.

Somebody said that about his wife too. Said he didn't ask her to marry him, so whatever happens she has to deal.

 

[SurferBabe]

I think women who are married or are already in an LTR can explain it better, but I'll take a shot. I did not use KP's program, but I did use the concept that was defined by AA, which is to mirror the guy/s you're dealing with. First off, you don't need to be worried about making him feel desired. That's not really your job, especially if he isn't your man.

When you are dealing with a dude leaning back means to let him do the work. This way you're only investing as much energy into him as he does for you. Things like letting him call you. Letting him set up the dates. Letting him do the footwork. Mirror him instead. Mirroring means to put as much energy into your rlshp as he does. For example if he calls you regularly, then sure, you can call him here and there. If he texts you, then go ahead and text him back. Leaning back serves 2 purposes...1) you won't end up wasting time on a dude who's not that into you. How? Because you are not pushing up on a dude who doesn't want you. 2)You get to observe his character and his level of interest because you see the work he is or isn't putting in.

It is a bit revolutionary for some because you think, well how do I show him I'm interested? You show him by being receptive to his advances and being your absolute self. The philosophy is that feminine energy is not about doing, it is being. Masculine energy is about doing. Men/the masculine are supposed to do the work. It is far more understandable once you start to practice the concepts.

You will actually see it all fall into place once you start to embody your feminine essence. Before me and bf became official, there were two other dudes. They did the calling, the courting, the leading, but they all did it at different paces. I was able to observe who was really bout it. see, we make the mistake of getting mad when guys put us on a side or back burner, when we are supposed to be doing the same thing. If you let them lead and you have more than one guy ("carousel dating" another concept) you'd understand why this is a great thing. you're supposed to be having fun, being yourself, and enjoy the male presence w/o expectations. Because the guy you're supposed to be will do the things he's supposed to do to win you over. Again, this may be hard to understand/see until you put this all into practice.

Things get murky for us when we're doing too much. We know what's up with a dude because's he's not doing enough and you're not receiving much.

Before I paid for this program, I had already started to get the concepts on my own. I'm not completely there just yet, but I've seen results. for example, I don't call men. One day, I just stopped being interested in reaching out to them. My male cohorts know where to find me, especially those who claim to be interested. My current BF is the one who was consistent from jump. Due to leaning back, I could see his interest w/o question. It's been 4 months and I still don't call to talk to him. It's not to brag, It's just an example of him doing his "masculine" thing. He reaches out so much that I don't have to.

Thanks for this!

It all makes so much sense. I think where some have failed, including me, is that we mirror in the beginning and then we become comfortable in pursuing because we believe that the interest he showed in the beginning is still there, even if he has cooled off.

For example, I posted on here last year about a failed fling. This guy chased me hard in the beginning, and when I finally gave in, he cooled off. I started leaning forward because I assumed that 4 years of chasing meant he was sincere. That was a huge mistake. Players chase heavily in the beginning because they know that showering you with attention will get you wide open. By the time you start to fall, he is in control.

A lot of modern dating advice encourages women to lean back when a man shows interest (play hard to get). When the guy stops chasing, you instinctively lean forward in an attempt to rekindle the romance, and suddenly he has all of the power. It is a recipe for disaster. I never felt good leaning back when men showed interest. I didn't get to enjoy being pursued because I was too busy ignoring his calls, texts, and invitations. I never got to open my heart and just enjoy the ride because I was too focused on the outcome instead of just allowing myself to be in the moment.

I believe I lost a lot of potentially good men this way.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Tell me more about Angelisa

I will be brief to avoid hijacking the thread. Angelisa Almanazar is a love coach. Her website is www.allheartcoach.com

There are three pillars of feminine enlightenment: Trust, Authenticity, and Vulnerability. She has 6 modules that addresses the pillars. The package includes 6 - hour long audio recordings, a workbook, and maybe some extras. I think I paid $1000 for it all. It's worth the money imo.

I like her program because she address women who have issues tapping into their femininity. One of the major tools I learned from her is notincing when you're being reactive and taking responsibility for looking after yourself. These are things that I've never heard about using in terms of how we interact with men.

It's not a rule book, it's about transforming yourself for the better overall. These concepts increase your quality of life across the board, not just in dating. I can go on and on because there are alot of little things that are hard to explain especially since I've given myself a character limit . If you have any questions you can inbox me.

 

[LadyPBC]

Based on what you're saying I do a good job of 'leaning back' but need to do a better job of 'mirroring' his behavior. I can't tell you how many times a guy has encouraged me to treat him the way that he is treating me, call sometimes, leave him sweet messages, initiate physical contact, etc. I'm guessing that I don't feel secure or that he is solidly committed to a relationship with me or I don't want to fgive him the impression that we can spend time in the bedroom. Thanks @keyawarren

I think women who are married or are already in an LTR can explain it better, but I'll take a shot. I did not use KP's program, but I did use the concept that was defined by AA, which is to mirror the guy/s you're dealing with. First off, you don't need to be worried about making him feel desired. That's not really your job, especially if he isn't your man.

When you are dealing with a dude leaning back means to let him do the work. This way you're only investing as much energy into him as he does for you. Things like letting him call you. Letting him set up the dates. Letting him do the footwork. Mirror him instead. Mirroring means to put as much energy into your rlshp as he does. For example if he calls you regularly, then sure, you can call him here and there. If he texts you, then go ahead and text him back. Leaning back serves 2 purposes...1) you won't end up wasting time on a dude who's not that into you. How? Because you are not pushing up on a dude who doesn't want you. 2)You get to observe his character and his level of interest because you see the work he is or isn't putting in.

It is a bit revolutionary for some because you think, well how do I show him I'm interested? You show him by being receptive to his advances and being your absolute self. The philosophy is that feminine energy is not about doing, it is being. Masculine energy is about doing. Men/the masculine are supposed to do the work. It is far more understandable once you start to practice the concepts.

You will actually see it all fall into place once you start to embody your feminine essence. Before me and bf became official, there were two other dudes. They did the calling, the courting, the leading, but they all did it at different paces. I was able to observe who was really bout it. see, we make the mistake of getting mad when guys put us on a side or back burner, when we are supposed to be doing the same thing. If you let them lead and you have more than one guy ("carousel dating" another concept) you'd understand why this is a great thing. you're supposed to be having fun, being yourself, and enjoy the male presence w/o expectations. Because the guy you're supposed to be will do the things he's supposed to do to win you over. Again, this may be hard to understand/see until you put this all into practice.

Things get murky for us when we're doing too much. We know what's up with a dude because's he's not doing enough and you're not receiving much.

Before I paid for this program, I had already started to get the concepts on my own. I'm not completely there just yet, but I've seen results. for example, I don't call men. One day, I just stopped being interested in reaching out to them. My male cohorts know where to find me, especially those who claim to be interested. My current BF is the one who was consistent from jump. Due to leaning back, I could see his interest w/o question. It's been 4 months and I still don't call to talk to him. It's not to brag, It's just an example of him doing his "masculine" thing. He reaches out so much that I don't have to.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Thanks for this!

It all makes so much sense. I think where some have failed, including me, is that we mirror in the beginning and then we become comfortable in pursuing because we believe that the interest he showed in the beginning is still there, even if he has cooled off.

For example, I posted on here last year about a failed fling. This guy chased me hard in the beginning, and when I finally gave in, he cooled off. I started leaning forward because I assumed that 4 years of chasing meant he was sincere. That was a huge mistake. Players chase heavily in the beginning because they know that showering you with attention will get you wide open. By the time you start to fall, he is in control.

A lot of modern dating advice encourages women to lean back when a man shows interest (play hard to get). When the guy stops chasing, you instinctively lean forward in an attempt to rekindle the romance, and suddenly he has all of the power. It is a recipe for disaster. I never felt good leaning back when men showed interest. I didn't get to enjoy being pursued because I was too busy ignoring his calls, texts, and invitations. I never got to open my heart and just enjoy the ride because I was too focused on the outcome instead of just allowing myself to be in the moment.

I believe I lost a lot of potentially good men this way.

What I've learned is that we are always in control. Leaning is back is not playing games, it is about being clear and enforcing your boundaries. I know what you mean about dating a guy who is going hard...carousel dating keeps you from giving up all of your time to a guy who is not committed to you. There are a number of overlapping principle that help us avoid the pitfalls in dating. Vetting is a skill that's necessary also.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Based on what you're saying I do a good job of 'leaning back' but need to do a better job of 'mirroring' his behavior. I can't tell you how many times a guy has encouraged me to treat him the way that he is treating me, call sometimes, leave him sweet messages, initiate physical contact, etc. I'm guessing that I don't feel secure or that he is solidly committed to a relationship with me or I don't want to fgive him the impression that we can spend time in the bedroom. Thanks @keyawarren

Honestly, that sounds a little ***** @ssed. A guy who is not in a relationship with you should not be complaining about what you're not doing for him. A man who is in his masculine will have no qualms about doing this because he delights in the idea of you accepting his calls, responding sweetly to his texts and leaving you sweet messages. Sounds like you don't feel secure because he's not doing his job.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

my cousin builds up her men...the 1st one...babydaddy...was nothing when he met her...she encouraged him to get a trade...got him a job...then once he settled...he dipped and married someone else he was sercretly seeing at work. after all the time she put in...damn

now this new one, she is repeating the pattern. hes from foreign...shes helping with papers..finding him a job...etc etc...

I can't do this ever!!

I am a lean back girl but there's more to it that just that. I'm a Work in progress.

 

[LovelyRo]

I think women who are married or are already in an LTR can explain it better, but I'll take a shot. I did not use KP's program, but I did use the concept that was defined by AA, which is to mirror the guy/s you're dealing with. First off, you don't need to be worried about making him feel desired. That's not really your job, especially if he isn't your man.

When you are dealing with a dude leaning back means to let him do the work. This way you're only investing as much energy into him as he does for you. Things like letting him call you. Letting him set up the dates. Letting him do the footwork. Mirror him instead. Mirroring means to put as much energy into your rlshp as he does. For example if he calls you regularly, then sure, you can call him here and there. If he texts you, then go ahead and text him back. Leaning back serves 2 purposes...1) you won't end up wasting time on a dude who's not that into you. How? Because you are not pushing up on a dude who doesn't want you. 2)You get to observe his character and his level of interest because you see the work he is or isn't putting in.

It is a bit revolutionary for some because you think, well how do I show him I'm interested? You show him by being receptive to his advances and being your absolute self. The philosophy is that feminine energy is not about doing, it is being. Masculine energy is about doing. Men/the masculine are supposed to do the work. It is far more understandable once you start to practice the concepts.

You will actually see it all fall into place once you start to embody your feminine essence. Before me and bf became official, there were two other dudes. They did the calling, the courting, the leading, but they all did it at different paces. I was able to observe who was really bout it. see, we make the mistake of getting mad when guys put us on a side or back burner, when we are supposed to be doing the same thing. If you let them lead and you have more than one guy ("carousel dating" another concept) you'd understand why this is a great thing. you're supposed to be having fun, being yourself, and enjoy the male presence w/o expectations. Because the guy you're supposed to be will do the things he's supposed to do to win you over. Again, this may be hard to understand/see until you put this all into practice.

Things get murky for us when we're doing too much. We know what's up with a dude because's he's not doing enough and you're not receiving much.

Before I paid for this program, I had already started to get the concepts on my own. I'm not completely there just yet, but I've seen results. for example, I don't call men. One day, I just stopped being interested in reaching out to them. My male cohorts know where to find me, especially those who claim to be interested. My current BF is the one who was consistent from jump. Due to leaning back, I could see his interest w/o question. It's been 4 months and I still don't call to talk to him. It's not to brag, It's just an example of him doing his "masculine" thing. He reaches out so much that I don't have to.

I totally agree with your post. I'm in a new relationship as well my guy was the most persistent and for the most part he initiates all contact. He has mentioned more than once that if he doesn't call me, we won't talk.... if aren't together, we communicate all day via text from GM to GN and we probably talk every other day. He says that he doesn't have an issue with initiatibg contact but, since he's brought it up numerous times, I think he does. I've been making a conscious effort (because I forget) to call him at least once a week. Has your guy acknowledged that he initiates all the contact?

 

[LadyPBC]

That's the point I'm making - it seems that men want to feel that you are making an effort as well. I've got to up my 'mirroring' game!

I totally agree with your post. I'm in a new relationship as well my guy was the most persistent and for the most part he initiates all contact. He has mentioned more than once that if he doesn't call me, we won't talk.... if aren't together, we communicate all day via text from GM to GN and we probably talk every other day. He says that he doesn't have an issue with initiatibg contact but, since he's brought it up numerous times, I think he does. I've been making a conscious effort (because I forget) to call him at least once a week. Has your guy acknowledged that he initiates all the contact?

 

[C@ssandr@]

I totally agree with your post. I'm in a new relationship as well my guy was the most persistent and for the most part he initiates all contact. He has mentioned more than once that if he doesn't call me, we won't talk.... if aren't together, we communicate all day via text from GM to GN and we probably talk every other day. He says that he doesn't have an issue with initiatibg contact but, since he's brought it up numerous times, I think he does. I've been making a conscious effort (because I forget) to call him at least once a week. Has your guy acknowledged that he initiates all the contact?

No, my bf doesn't mind. I was annoyed that he didn't want to talk all of the time until he revealed that his job requires him to be on the phone all day. I let him lead with the calling because when he calls I know he's not too tired to talk. Since that conversation I really don't have an issue with the frequency (2-3 times a week). If I really want to hear his voice, I'll call and tell him "I just wanted to chat before bed". Even if he's tired, he's not bothered by that.

As for what's in bold, I also sense that he does mind. If he didn't, he wouldn't have said anything. Do you forget to call because he calls so often? If this is the case, then tell him that.

 

[LovelyRo]

No, my bf doesn't mind. I was annoyed that he didn't want to talk all of the time until he revealed that his job requires him to be on the phone all day. I let him lead with the calling because when he calls I know he's not too tired to talk. Since that conversation I really don't have an issue with the frequency (2-3 times a week). If I really want to hear his voice, I'll call and tell him "I just wanted to chat before bed". Even if he's tired, he's not bothered by that.

As for what's in bold, I also sense that he does mind. If he didn't, he wouldn't have said anything. Do you forget to call because he calls so often? If this is the case, then tell him that.

I usually don't think to call because we text so much throughout the day (neither of us have phone conversations during the workday). He doesn't call a lot... maybe 3/4 times a week but, we're together at least 2 days a week.

That's the point I'm making - it seems that men want to feel that you are making an effort as well. I've got to up my 'mirroring' game!

But, how do you display effort without leaning in? I'm so confused. I'm trying to balance my own masculine and feminine energy and effort to me is masculine.

 

[sweetvi]

I think women who are married or are already in an LTR can explain it better, but I'll take a shot. I did not use KP's program, but I did use the concept that was defined by AA, which is to mirror the guy/s you're dealing with. First off, you don't need to be worried about making him feel desired. That's not really your job, especially if he isn't your man.

When you are dealing with a dude leaning back means to let him do the work. This way you're only investing as much energy into him as he does for you. Things like letting him call you. Letting him set up the dates. Letting him do the footwork. Mirror him instead. Mirroring means to put as much energy into your rlshp as he does. For example if he calls you regularly, then sure, you can call him here and there. If he texts you, then go ahead and text him back. Leaning back serves 2 purposes...1) you won't end up wasting time on a dude who's not that into you. How? Because you are not pushing up on a dude who doesn't want you. 2)You get to observe his character and his level of interest because you see the work he is or isn't putting in.

It is a bit revolutionary for some because you think, well how do I show him I'm interested? You show him by being receptive to his advances and being your absolute self. The philosophy is that feminine energy is not about doing, it is being. Masculine energy is about doing. Men/the masculine are supposed to do the work. It is far more understandable once you start to practice the concepts.

You will actually see it all fall into place once you start to embody your feminine essence. Before me and bf became official, there were two other dudes. They did the calling, the courting, the leading, but they all did it at different paces. I was able to observe who was really bout it. see, we make the mistake of getting mad when guys put us on a side or back burner, when we are supposed to be doing the same thing. If you let them lead and you have more than one guy ("carousel dating" another concept) you'd understand why this is a great thing. you're supposed to be having fun, being yourself, and enjoy the male presence w/o expectations. Because the guy you're supposed to be will do the things he's supposed to do to win you over. Again, this may be hard to understand/see until you put this all into practice.

Things get murky for us when we're doing too much. We know what's up with a dude because's he's not doing enough and you're not receiving much.

Before I paid for this program, I had already started to get the concepts on my own. I'm not completely there just yet, but I've seen results. for example, I don't call men. One day, I just stopped being interested in reaching out to them. My male cohorts know where to find me, especially those who claim to be interested. My current BF is the one who was consistent from jump. Due to leaning back, I could see his interest w/o question. It's been 4 months and I still don't call to talk to him. It's not to brag, It's just an example of him doing his "masculine" thing. He reaches out so much that I don't have to.

Yesss! Don't forget to mention thar the women also have to work on themselves. If self love is there, there are behaviors from men that will automatically be a turnoff. Heal your wounds, seek counseling, pray and date date date. Many women attach themselves to one guy and can spend years pining over him, and not notice that he never was interested in the first place. Nice dialogue girls

 

[ClassyJSP]

I found this right on time, thank you ladies off to do more research.