Interracial Dating or Marriage

[LDebagoria]

My boyfriend of almost a year is White. I was talking with my Aunt about our relationship and she told me that with her being from the "Old School," this was still newer to her and would take getting used to.
She said she's not opposed to interracial dating or marriage, that you should be with the man or woman who treats you right, makes you happy...the usual.
I see no problem. What are your opinions?

 

[landakaye]

My husband is white and weve been together for 6 years and before him there was another white man. It was not intentional but apparently Im intimidating to other black men.(insert eye roll) White boys were the only ones with courage enough to ask me out. Strange hunh?

 

[CarLiTa]

I think interractial dating is perfectly fine. I don't see any problem with it but I really don't get how some people get so about it. I lived in Haiti till I was 12 and there was no race barrier or anything. We knew a lot of white people or hispanics there or whatever, but to us, everyone was Haitian and it didn't matter... then I came here and if you like a guy who's different from your race, people think you're "selling out." I was just like ...
I understand that we shouldn't have a preference for a race other than ours, because that would mean that we don't really love ourselves, but if you find someone of the other race who understands you, treats you right, and you feel crazy about him, then of course, go for it. You gotta admit, some of these white/indian/hispanics/asian/whatever else boys are hott, so it shouldn't be any problem...

 

[LookieLoo]

My boyfriend of over 2 years is White, so obviously I don't see a problem with it. As long as he's a good person and he respects you, that's all that matters. I've met both of his parents (divorced), and they're fine with me ... probably because they are of European background. I'd imagine that white Americans would have more issues with blacks.

However, I was recently surprised to learn that my boyfriend's grandfather was a member of the Nazi party in Germany. Even so, his grandfather wasn't the least bit prejudiced against blacks and actually had a strong dislike for anyone who was ... Jews were another matter entirely, however.

 

[divine]

I'm not against it, but I will never do it.

 

[VelvetRain]

My ex bf of a year was white. I would and am looking to date out of my race again.

 

[Country gal]

I think you should fall in love with who every you want too. I don't like it when people say I am with this race because my people ain't ish and all the other nonsense.

My family is not into IR. So if I were with someone of another race it would be weird to them.

 

[chocolate01]

I don't have a problem with it. My aunt is married with to a white man and they have been together all my life. My family doesn't have a problem because they are used to it but I know if I bought home a white guy they would have something to say. I think people put too much emphaphis on race and dating and try to make it all political when it's really not.

 

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

I'm not against if done for the right reasons. If its out of genuine love then that's fine, but if someone does it out of rejection for their race then that's when I have a problem with it. For example, you know the Wesley Snipe types who won't date black women because we supposedly have too much attitudes or we supposedly can't hold a candle to their white counterparts, well I just think men like those have some serious issues.

 

[Ayeshia]

Im all for it, im currently talking to a guy now who uis white..and no the person in the siggy is not my bf LOL.

 

[Ms Red]

I don't have a problem with it. My boyfriend is black, my sister-in-law is Japanese and my dad was 1/4 white.

However, my boyfriend's mother recently told me (with great conviction, mind you) that "I don't believe in interracial dating, marriage or procreation. It's just not right." She must have forgotten that she has "bragged" to me several times before that her mom was 1/2 white.

Wouldn't you call that self-hate?

 

[Skydancer]

I don't have a problem with it. My boyfriend is black, my sister-in-law is Japanese and my dad was 1/4 white.

However, my boyfriend's mother recently told me (with great conviction, mind you) that "I don't believe in interracial dating, marriage or procreation. It's just not right." She must have forgotten that she has "bragged" to me several times before that her mom was 1/2 white.

Wouldn't you call that self-hate?

I agree with that last comment. I'm curious as to those who answered "Nay." As in, "no, not at all... for anyone" or "No, not for me"? Although, I am not sure I understand either stance. As many people have already pointed out, the pool of decent men is small enough as it is; why limit it more due to a factor that we have been trying to prove for centuries does not limit any of us? So then why do we place limits on others? If you want to change something in the world, you have to start with yourself. It's a 2-way street. "Never name the well from which you will not drink." Because true love knows no colors, and I would hate to think that someone missed out because he/she already had some preconceived notion in his/her mind.

 

[Chivara]

I answered Nay, not that I have a problem with interracial dating, but I myself would never date outside my race. It's nothing agaisnt any other race, I just prefer Black men.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

I personally have never been attracted to people of other races, except mexicans but to me they are just light skinned black people, however, I feel its soooo hard to find someone you love and care about that you can stand to be around that feels the same way about you, if you are lucky enough to find it then it should'nt matter if they are black, white, purple or green.

 

[Skydancer]

I answered Nay, not that I have a problem with interracial dating, but I myself would never date outside my race. It's nothing agaisnt any other race, I just prefer Black men.

I guess i can understand that:] Everyone is entitled to their preference.
Devil's Advocate, if you will: Say that you are attracted to a certain type of man (personality-wise, not race-wise), and you meet someone who is definitelty not your type... but for whatever reason it is clicking. Would you pull away because he was not the type of person you imagined yourself with? Even if you can feel that there is something there and he is an honest and good man? I know I wouldn't. I guess that's why I don't understand why someone would do that when it came to race. People are people :/

 

[sprungonhairboards]

Say that you are attracted to a certain type of man (personality-wise, not race-wise), and you meet someone who is definitelty not your type... but for whatever reason it is clicking. Would you pull away because he was not the type of person you imagined yourself with? Even if you can feel that there is something there and he is an honest and good man? :/

Girl I did just that. We've been together 4 years and he STILL aint my type but I love him to death and he would DIE for me, ya heard?

 

[Tiffany]

People should date & marry who they want. I expect others to mind their business. I do not care who others date. Even if someone dates another race for the "wrong reasons", it does not affect anyone else. They have their personal preferences. It is their life!

 

[Chivara]

I guess i can understand that:] Everyone is entitled to their preference.
Devil's Advocate, if you will: Say that you are attracted to a certain type of man (personality-wise, not race-wise), and you meet someone who is definitelty not your type... but for whatever reason it is clicking. Would you pull away because he was not the type of person you imagined yourself with? Even if you can feel that there is something there and he is an honest and good man? I know I wouldn't. I guess that's why I don't understand why someone would do that when it came to race. People are people :/

I think I would pull away if he was a different race, even if it was clicking. But honestly I don't ever see myself getting to the "clicking" point with someone of another race. Even if he was an honest and good man, I wouldn't feel comfortable. It may seem stupid b/c people are in fact just people, but I just don't see it happening. In my opinion (and this pertains to ME only), no one can relate to me nor I to them, except for a Black man.

 

[Ayeshia]

I think I would pull away if he was a different race, even if it was clicking. But honestly I don't ever see myself getting to the "clicking" point with someone of another race. Even if he was an honest and good man, I wouldn't feel comfortable. It may seem stupid b/c people are in fact just people, but I just don't see it happening. In my opinion (and this pertains to ME only), no one can relate to me nor I to them, except for a Black man.

Thats understandable but cn also be debated at the same time. So lets just say hypothetically there was a white guy who lived next door to you your entire life, same neighborhood/upbringing, values, morals...okay cool? And then you meet a black guy who was raised the total opposite of you: Fresh Prince Style...Beverly hills house, prep school, glee club, the whole nine...would you still say the black guy relates to you more just because he is black or no? I believe that relating to someone totally depends on environmental surroundings and circumstances more so than just race alone.

 

[sugaplum]

Im all for it, im currently talking to a guy now who uis white..and no the person in the siggy is not my bf LOL.

Ohh I was about to say that you two make a nice couple.

I'm not against interracial dating/marriage. I've dated a hispanic guy for a year (treated like a queen). Also, I dated mixed brothers.

I don't mean to change the topic or anything, but those who have dated outside there race, have you been treated differently by the other race then your own???

 

[Chivara]

Thats understandable but cn also be debated at the same time. So lets just say hypothetically there was a white guy who lived next door to you your entire life, same neighborhood/upbringing, values, morals...okay cool? And then you meet a black guy who was raised the total opposite of you: Fresh Prince Style...Beverly hills house, prep school, glee club, the whole nine...would you still say the black guy relates to you more just because he is black or no? I believe that relating to someone totally depends on environmental surroundings and circumstances more so than just race alone.

You raise a good point. It has to do with more than just race. There are lots of other issues as well. In reference to the above scenario, I would date neither. I wouldn't date the white guy b/c he is white and the black guy b/c he would be the total opposite of me. My ideal mate is someone who fits with me personality wise, up-bringing wise, and is of the same race. No one could relate better I think.

And that's honestly how I feel.

 

[LookieLoo]

Thats understandable but cn also be debated at the same time. So lets just say hypothetically there was a white guy who lived next door to you your entire life, same neighborhood/upbringing, values, morals...okay cool? And then you meet a black guy who was raised the total opposite of you: Fresh Prince Style...Beverly hills house, prep school, glee club, the whole nine...would you still say the black guy relates to you more just because he is black or no? I believe that relating to someone totally depends on environmental surroundings and circumstances more so than just race alone.

Sorry this isn't a reply to what you said above.^ I just noticed your siggy and your hair album; you're absolutely gorgeous! Must be nice being you.

 

[Skydancer]

Sorry this isn't a reply to what you said above.^ I just noticed your siggy and your hair album; you're absolutely gorgeous!

I second that notion

 

[mermaid]

I've always been in IR's and always will. Why limit myself to such a narrow pool?? My mother is white and my father is black, so obviously they have never been bothered by it!

 

[Belle Du Jour]

For the people who dated outside their race, how did it come about? Were y'all just friends and it happened? Did you meet each other in school? Or did you place yourself in certain situations or places (say a hangout where mostly white guys would go).

I'm extremely curious about how to get out there and let guys of other races know that I'm,er, "down."

 

[Ayeshia]

Sorry this isn't a reply to what you said above.^ I just noticed your siggy and your hair album; you're absolutely gorgeous! Must be nice being you.

Aww thank you lookie and skydancer

 

[mermaid]

For the people who dated outside their race, how did it come about? Were y'all just friends and it happened? Did you meet each other in school? Or did you place yourself in certain situations or places (say a hangout where mostly white guys would go).

I'm extremely curious about how to get out there and let guys of other races know that I'm,er, "down."

Just did it, I guess. How do you let a black man know you're interested? I'd do nothing out of the ordinary, if I saw a guy that I thought was looking good I'd hold a glance, ask a question, whatever.
Now, so ya know, I will only hang out/live in very diverse areas, no one race is in the majoirty, so I guess that would make it easier, but I never deliberatly go white-boy-hunting !
You know you have skills, mami! Work it!!

 

[Ayeshia]

For the people who dated outside their race, how did it come about? Were y'all just friends and it happened? Did you meet each other in school? Or did you place yourself in certain situations or places (say a hangout where mostly white guys would go).

I'm extremely curious about how to get out there and let guys of other races know that I'm,er, "down."

I go to a predominantly white college. Well the guy that I currently talk to is in my Physics class...I was attracted to him because he was sooo smart and he was a cutie pie. Not cuz I was on a "must find white man" hiatus . It just happened.But i wasnt going to approach him becasue I didnt know what his preference was So a few weeks later my frined who lives on my floor says that I have a secret admirer in my physics class. She said that he thought I was cute, how he loves my hair....blah blah blah.The first person that came to my mind was this black guy and then I instantly threw that thought away cuz I cant stand him and he cant stand me . And then I thought of Will and said BINGO. I started talking to him more and now we're cool. He amazing.

But the sad thing is is that he's graduating in december and moving so not much can happen. So we've decided to chill this summer together and I'll enjoy his company while I can

 

[webby]

For the people who dated outside their race, how did it come about? Were y'all just friends and it happened? Did you meet each other in school? Or did you place yourself in certain situations or places (say a hangout where mostly white guys would go).

I'm extremely curious about how to get out there and let guys of other races know that I'm,er, "down."

My dh and I were introduced to each other by my best friend. However, with the other white guys that I've dated...it's about being in the right setting. For instance, book stores, concerts, volunteer work. You meet a decent selection of men period, when you are in a decent environment.

 

[MizAvalon]

I haven't dated a black man in years. So I'm all for interracial dating.

OT:Ayeshia, you're so pretty!