i hate online dating

[lushcoils]

the thing w. pof is, the more you're on there, the more often your profile gets viewed, so the more msgs you get.

uhh... Speak for yourself.

 

[LovinLocks]

What is POF??? Does it work for old folk?

 

[lushcoils]

^^^
It seems like everyone's experience is different, depending on how you look, the pictures you use, your personality/interests/lifestyle, what you are looking for, age, location, etc etc . So give it a try!

 

[runwaydream]

What is POF??? Does it work for old folk?

plentyoffish.com
ppl of all ages are on there

 

[runwaydream]

uhh... Speak for yourself.

try it. i always get the most msgs when im already on there. also try changing out ur main pic every so often. you'll get more views that way.

 

[DecemberBaby]

Hi Ladies
I just wanted to come out of hiding to say that I met my guy on tagged. I don't know if anyone has mentioned this site already but I just had "the talk" with him this past weekend so now we are exclusive.
Anyway, if you decide to sign up for this site, be forewarned....you will get messages from alot of foreigners and old yt men, but I met alot of nice guys my age (39) and older. Oh yeah, I got alot of messages from much younger guys too.

 

[lushcoils]

try it. i always get the most msgs when im already on there. also try changing out ur main pic every so often. you'll get more views that way.

I've been on there forever. Changed my picture several times already. Not getting views or messages.

Like I said before, if you don't have the right combination of factors, you won't have success. But I'm glad it's going well for you.

 

[blue_flower]

Most of the guys from my city are unattractive. Just not feeling them. But when I do searches in other cities, the guys are attractive. Maybe I should move.

 

[VelvetRain]

As the time goes on I am starting to realize online dating is just not for me. I agree with lushcoils for it to really be effective you really have to have the right combination of factors. Here's a tip though lol. If someone contacts you and is not smiling and showing teeth in any of the 50-11 pictures they have posted be aware. I met a guy who did just that. Went out with him and come to find out his grill was jacked up. Broken teeth and all. Was totally not expecting that one.

These days I am thinking of places to go that are conducive to meeting the type of man I am interested in and one that has all his natural teeth.

 

[DragonPearl]

If I were you, I would list my race.

If some men will not check me out because I am black, it's all good, because that's not the kind of man I want anyway.

 

[NYAmicas]

I've decided to take a break from it and stop checking my emails. I really dont have the time with finals and a trip coming up plus I was getting the men confused. I think Im also just bored with the meet up dates and trying to schedule the dates period when I dont have any time!!! I was on POF really late last night just replying and this annoying pest complained I hadnt called him yet. I told him I've been very busy and he replied, "But you're on here.". I told him off! Explained it's easier for me to type an email then engage in a conversation when I'm very tired and busy.

So I'll let my inbox fill up before I dare venture back on. Im completely bored by it now.

 

[LovinLocks]

Hi Ladies
I just wanted to come out of hiding to say that I met my guy on tagged.

I'm game; what's the URL, please??? K, I've got it, I think (tagged.com); however, I can't get on here at work . It looks more for like "socializing" than establishing a relationship . . . what do you all think? Anybody else here using it besided SatRa?

 

[LovinLocks]

Im completely bored by it now.

Must be nice.

 

[chocolat79]

I'll join in this lil discussion. I've been on a good deal of the websites, except a few, including eHarmony.

I was recently on Chemistry.com and Speedate.com, although I didn't pay (I just wanted to see if I'd get any viable men ). I've been online dating for years and I'm tired of it now. I want to meet someone organically or through mutual friends or something.

Anyway, a few pointers. I know people have been talking about pics. From what I understand, you should choose pics that are flirty (not TOO sexy), some that are full-length (yes, it make a difference), definitely ones where you're smiling and having fun. An ex-friend of mine showed me a pic she had on Match.com with her tongue hanging out (in a playful manner). She got TONS of messages, she said, LOL. She's definitely not "like that" but, it got her messages and she met quite a few men. A friend of mine showed me her pics that she uses and hers lacked energy, completely. Like, the pic drained ME. So I told her to step it up. As for me, I'm sure I can use ones where I'm more active, I just don't care that much right now. Also, I've heard from quite a few men, that I'm much more attractive in person, so online actually works AGAINST me. (Although I don't get approached out either, but that's another matter)

Funny story, I may have mentioned this here before, but I was on Chemistry and I had a pic of me on an ATV in St. Lucia (although you couldn't tell it was in St. Lucia). Anyway, I KEPT getting these backwoods, White guys who wore overalls who live in one of the most racist counties in GA, LOL messaging me. They looked like they made moonshine in the mountains or something, LOL. I was like, WTF?? I looked at my pics again and realized that they saw I was ATVing and must have thought I was an "acceptable" black girl, LOL. I took that pic down.

On Speedate, I keep getting the extremes. I get the guys over 40 or under 25. I think I've had one from an 18 yr old and one from like a 52 year old. I'm 31, BTW, so who knows.

FYI, I've met great men on CL. Now that's Ripley's Believe It or Not! My last 3 exes and one guy who probably would've eliminated the need for the other exes if I wasn't acting stupid, were all from CL. The thing with CL though is weeding out the undesirables. That's the hard part. My filtering is pretty good now. But I'm not interested anymore in online dating.

Believe me, I KNOW how you feel.

 

[Kalani]

Funny story, I may have mentioned this here before, but I was on Chemistry and I had a pic of me on an ATV in St. Lucia (although you couldn't tell it was in St. Lucia). Anyway, I KEPT getting these backwoods, White guys who wore overalls who live in one of the most racist counties in GA, LOL messaging me. They looked like they made moonshine in the mountains or something, LOL. I was like, WTF?? I looked at my pics again and realized that they saw I was ATVing and must have thought I was an "acceptable" black girl, LOL. I took that pic down.

That's hilarious!

 

[kandake]

I've been lurking this thread and some of the other on-line dating threads. I've been on E-Harmony and Match off and on for about two years with absolutely no luck. I've actually said that I hate on-line dating as well, but for whatever reason I'll sign back up for another month.

Well, this time I decided to try black people meet. I signed up Thanksgiving night, put up pics and filled out my profile. I was pleasantly surprised with this site. I actually met someone already. We IM'd Thursday night for a couple hours. We had a pretty good conversation. As it turns out we have very similar educational backgrounds and professional interests. Also, we found out they we live in the same neighborhood. Actually, we live RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET from one another. We've already met for breakfast and we're going to a movie tomorrow. For now he seems cool. But, I must admit that I feel weird and a little uncomfortable about us living so close to one another. Is that strange for me to feel that way? At any rate, I guess we'll see what happens.

Anyone, I seem to be getting a lot of traffic. I think its because I'm new. I decided to be more optimistic this time so I hope it works out.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

my passions? my passions are fashion, theater, and boy bands. i see regular concerts that straight guys go to as well but my PASSION is 5 guys dancing in unison(sometimes with a chair or top hat involved) while singing saccharin sweet cheesey mid tempo pop songs...

Man I wish we lived closer we could talk about boybands! haha I am a recovering boyband addict.

I have had limited success on POF and match.com The one guy I met on match.com seemed like the guy that I wanted, but he didn't feel the same way. I was pretty upset about this. I tried to be friends with him but that didn't workout. He was one of those you are a great girl but...then he got jealous when I started to date this kid from POF.

Lame. So I have stopped my dating because the pool of candidates in my town is very small and it is extremely hard to meet men in graduate school. Also I don't plan on staying in this town after graduation so it's kinda like what's the point?

I got a dog. He is a great companion!

 

[LovinLocks]

im happy. ive been getting a ton of luck on pof lately. okcupid..not so much =/ im considering deleting my profile.

the thing w. pof is, the more you're on there, the more often your profile gets viewed, so the more msgs you get.

I only signed up the other day and geeeesh, too many "messages" . . . gotta wade through all that menutia (or however u spell it). And, if I read "yummy"; "you're so sexy" again, I will scream. I'm thinking what da f that got to do with anything???? Oh, Of course I know the answer which sickens me. Maybe I'm in the wrong century/decade? I'm done with promiscuity. Ya gets none of dese cookies widout a ring on its finger.

 

[LovinLocks]

I got a dog. He is a great companion!

WORD up. I would too but the dang "non-refundable" security deposit for him is tooo much here.

 

[LivingDol1]

man. I need a dog. forget the man. and besides, maybe I'll meet a likeminded guy at a dog park. the Internet is for creepers. I got an email from someone on pof but haven't checked it bc I'm on my way home from thanksgiving holiday.... but I suppose of I'm on lhcf on my phone, I can log onto pof..... meh.

I'm a superior chick though. I should really ditch this and meet superior men. so not fair....

 

[blue_flower]

I've been a member of blackpeoplemeet for a little over a week and I've already decided not to renew my membership after this month. It's unbelievable, but most of the responses I get are from old guys (late 40s and up) wearing pimp suits. Apparently they don't know how to read or write because I also keep getting these smiley face emails that say "I'm interested in you!" Seriously, you can't type out a few sentances on your own?

As for match, I get very few replies. One guy contacted me but I'm getting tired of the back in forth emails. I keep my emails as short as possible, but this is dragging out.

Another thing I noticed is the lack of attractive men on both websites. I'm not looking for a model, but there has to be some kind of attraction. I see a lot of attractive guys out in public and I"m starting to think I'm just better off approaching these guys myself and accept being rejected instead of wasting money on a dating website.

 

[LivingDol1]

^^^^ i too am sick of the responses and their low quality. you're getting pimp suits. some wannabe thug wearing a stocking cap on his head just emailed me! i -hate- that. i'm sorry but it's insulting that these guys even THINK that i would write them back. don't even waste my emailing viewing time. i don't know how anyone can take that look seriously. go find some piece of trash at the mall. don't email me.

i'm done with it. i'm closing my membership to POF right now. i'll try HowBoutWe.com only because it's NYC based and the guys on there don't look like thugs. it's cheap too. if that doesn't work, i'm taking extreme measures in january 2011. matchmaker. psychologist. psychic.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Good luck OP! I know it can be uber frustrating because people say "stop looking it will come to you" or "be a more positive person," But sometimes it is hard to be all that and get not one semi positive response from these guys. Then when you see certified psycho girls with well mannered, awesome dude, you are like WHATTTT???? Fail dude!

I am rooting for you!

 

[runwaydream]

I only signed up the other day and geeeesh, too many "messages" . . . gotta wade through all that menutia (or however u spell it). And, if I read "yummy"; "you're so sexy" again, I will scream. I'm thinking what da f that got to do with anything???? Oh, Of course I know the answer which sickens me. Maybe I'm in the wrong century/decade? I'm done with promiscuity. Ya gets none of dese cookies widout a ring on its finger.

i feel the same way. i feel like 75% of the msg's are crap. but...theres still that 25% that makes it worth it lol. so i stick in there.

 

[keykee]

That's the same results that I got from OKCupid.. NOTHING! Online dating pisses me off too.. I just can't do it! I am sick of the 50 year old men messaging me.
I think I seriously would rather go to a bar by myself then sit at the computer talking to old dudes.

I think the best thing is just go out.. if you can. Go out on your own if there's no one to go with you. Do the things that you enjoy and maybe you will meet someone that way.
I always look out for things I know single men will be at.. festivals, bars, live music, clubs etc.
Be outgoing and talk to guys.. and don't wait for them to approach you.. because a lot of them can be interested but too shy to say anything.

Good luck.. hey good luck to us all!!

 

[DecemberBaby]

I'm game; what's the URL, please??? K, I've got it, I think (tagged.com); however, I can't get on here at work . It looks more for like "socializing" than establishing a relationship . . . what do you all think? Anybody else here using it besided SatRa?

A girlfriend of mine told me about it. So I thought it was just for socializing too. But the responses I got indicated they were interested in something more. The ones I actually talked to seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. Like I said before though, you will still get responses from all kinds...

 

[ebonylocs]

I agree... I dabbled in online dating, met some amazing guys... (only white guys though??!) But it wasn't for me
..18 months ago I noticed a guy on my commute and struck up the guts to ask him for a drink...we have been semi-attached at the hip ever since

Knowing my sweetie...as technology declined as he is (ex:29 and still uses a checkbook for bills) I would have NEVER met him and all his amazing online....

I get panicked sometimes like if i had stayed online like "oh wheres my catch"...we wouldn't be together!! eek!

Huh? Ummm. The two are not mutually exclusive. You can be open to meeting people online and on the bus. After all, even if you go on the dating sites while you are at home, you still have to take the bus , and you can still say hi to the cute guy sitting across from you. (Or would you be on the bus surfing through dating websites with blinkers on ) Going online is a way to INCREASE your pool of prospects, not substitute for real world meetings.

From my experience on that particular site, men would run away the minute they discover that I was black. .

So what difference does that make? Eventually they are going to have to see a pic and/or meet you, and they will find out you're black. So for a man with *those* prejudices, it's either he's going to run sooner, or he's going to run later. And why would you even want to start any kind of communication with a guy who would not communicate with you if he knew you were black?

That's the same results that I got from OKCupid.. NOTHING! Online dating pisses me off too.. I just can't do it! I am sick of the 50 year old men messaging me.

Keykee, not on topic, but is that you in your avatar? If so, you are super gorgeous!

 

[VelvetRain]

I've been a member of blackpeoplemeet for a little over a week and I've already decided not to renew my membership after this month. It's unbelievable, but most of the responses I get are from old guys (late 40s and up) wearing pimp suits. Apparently they don't know how to read or write because I also keep getting these smiley face emails that say "I'm interested in you!" Seriously, you can't type out a few sentances on your own?

As for match, I get very few replies. One guy contacted me but I'm getting tired of the back in forth emails. I keep my emails as short as possible, but this is dragging out.

Another thing I noticed is the lack of attractive men on both websites. I'm not looking for a model, but there has to be some kind of attraction. I see a lot of attractive guys out in public and I"m starting to think I'm just better off approaching these guys myself and accept being rejected instead of wasting money on a dating website.

BPM major waste of my time. If I see one one more smiley face email with I like you or I'm interested in you I am done. I didn't renew my membership either. Finding the guys on the site are either lazy or cheap because they didn't pay for a membership to do anything other than send you a ridiculous flirt. It also shows they lack social skills.

Ladies we should start a challenge where we venture out to a new place at least once a week to expand our social circle to try align us with meeting someone who may be what we are looking for.

For something that doesn't seem so hard to do seems like many of us are having such a difficult time with it. Something is not right with this picture. LHCF has a lot attractive and intelligent women who are on point. I swear it's not us. It's the lack of quality men on these sites.

 

[Lovelylife]

BPM major waste of my time. If I see one one more smiley face email with I like you or I'm interested in you I am done. I didn't renew my membership either. Finding the guys on the site are either lazy or cheap because they didn't pay for a membership to do anything other than send you a ridiculous flirt. It also shows they lack social skills.

Ladies we should start a challenge where we venture out to a new place at least once a week to expand our social circle to try align us with meeting someone who may be what we are looking for.

For something that doesn't seem so hard to do seems like many of us are having such a difficult time with it. Something is not right with this picture. LHCF has a lot attractive and intelligent women who are on point. I swear it's not us. It's the lack of quality men on these sites.

That would be a great challenge! When are you going to start it

 

[LivingDol1]

BPM major waste of my time. If I see one one more smiley face email with I like you or I'm interested in you I am done. I didn't renew my membership either. Finding the guys on the site are either lazy or cheap because they didn't pay for a membership to do anything other than send you a ridiculous flirt. It also shows they lack social skills.

Ladies we should start a challenge where we venture out to a new place at least once a week to expand our social circle to try align us with meeting someone who may be what we are looking for.

For something that doesn't seem so hard to do seems like many of us are having such a difficult time with it. Something is not right with this picture. LHCF has a lot attractive and intelligent women who are on point. I swear it's not us. It's the lack of quality men on these sites.

true that, my friend. we need to venture out.

i need more options. i am doing my volunteer dog walking on a regular basis now since i found a new spot that i really like visiting.

i said i would try speed dating.... that's something i could go to alone... but i have been to a singles mixer before and the men are like creeper vultures so i'm traumatized by that experience.

i could try going to barnes and noble... i hear that's a pick up spot.

i don't know what else to do or where else to go. it's also cold out so my tendency to go outdoors gets lower and lower during these times....

anyone ever meet men during the holiday season? my horoscope says that virgo is back in my house or whatevers so that should put me back out there, able to meet men.

there are 5 women to every one guy in NYC. so i'm screwed, really... i mean, i know i'm a quality chica.... and there are poorer, more retarded, uglier, more insecure women who are in relationships while i'm not in one.... it makes no sense really. maybe they're more sexually adventurous....

i don't think all of the men are coupled up. i think majority of them are single and wanting to stay that way b/c they can do their thing and get as much a$$ play as they want...

i think i just need to import a house husband into the city. i gotta meet a guy who's awesome yet thinks that i'm way cooler than he is and therefore loves me more.