I THINK HE CHEATED: STILL CONDUCTING MY INVESTIGATION

[MsDeeDee82]

This may sound stupid but he called her in front of me and told her not call anymore. This doesnt mean anything so thats why I will pursue my investigation to calm my nerves. He always says that I have my best friend which is a male IN ANOTHER COUNRTY ( CANADA) is the same as him having a friend. The difference is we having been friends for 10 yrs and this girl is a new friend. I feel dumb in front of you guys saying im staying but when I emailed her she said nothing is going on with him and someone refered her to him for a mortage and they cont talking well. I made it clear not ghetto or rude to him and her this friendship has to end. He has no excuses on why he sent her pictures so I will let that slide. God will everything out. I think I went crazy last week because I was on my cycle which me honestly for me crazy mode no time for bull...

 

[MsDeeDee82]

I know but I dunno. I am very confused believe me. I am praying He guides me through this.

 

[TCatt86]

This may sound stupid but he called her in front of me and told her not call anymore. This doesnt mean anything so thats why I will pursue my investigation to calm my nerves. He always says that I have my best friend which is a male IN ANOTHER COUNRTY ( CANADA) is the same as him having a friend. The difference is we having been friends for 10 yrs and this girl is a new friend. I feel dumb in front of you guys saying im staying but when I emailed her she said nothing is going on with him and someone refered her to him for a mortage and they cont talking well. I made it clear not ghetto or rude to him and her this friendship has to end. He has no excuses on why he sent her pictures so I will let that slide. God will everything out. I think I went crazy last week because I was on my cycle which me honestly for me crazy mode no time for bull...

Thank You for the update. I hope everything works out for you.

 

[msdeevee]

Oh, Ok you came back ......but sounds like a lot of craziness to me.

If u have forgiven him , then do that. Don't keep on investigating. Yeah, I smell a rat but that is btwn you and him. BTW , if you have a best guy friend then yeah he is going to keep throwing that in your face. I know many think differently but I don't think men and women can be friends like that, if you are thinking of marrying this man you will have to decide which is more important especially if he is prone to use your friendship as an excuse to flirt with other women.

This is just all around shady to me, but I don't know.

I wish you the best,

 

[bermudabeauty]

I am very direct and I would straight up say yes I was wrong for snopping through your personal things yada yada but I have this information before me which makes me question his feelings and motives with me. I would ask him to be direct and mature about his response, if I felt he's lying...I'd gut punch that ass. J/k. I'd tell him I'm too good for that and leave him. If your family asks about him be honest, you are too good for bull%$# so your not with him anymore. That is what I would do.

 

[dlovely]

You think he'll cop to it? There's nothing I see in my husband now that I didn't see before I married him. I may have ignored some things or misinterpreted, but nothing he's done wrong has been a surprise when I'm really honest with myself.

Any thing they do in the dark, they will likely continue to do and it will only get worse. If he found this type of email in your account, how would he react to it? How does it make you feel with or without sex? Do you feel a person can "cheat" without sex?

- On point!

 

[tocktick]

Hello I am sorry, I have been away for a while. We are working things out still not trusting him but I have done my dirt so I will give him a second chance. I will still cont my investigation in the month of August just to be sure. I am still worried but what can I do. Thanks ladies.

imo, if you did "your dirt" and he forgave you, you guys decided to wipe the slate clean. there should be no "free passes" in healthy relationships. if you can't deal with the way things are going down, then make a swift exit.

 

[blow]

I'm sorry but this is just too much work...

If you have to resort to all of this...is it really worth being in this relationship?

Come on now.

 

[SelahOco]

I really hate when people come on start something like this , have people caring about them and worrying and wishing them the best and then they never come back to say what happened.

That's why I lurk mostly and don't get involved. Talk about being left hanging .

Bumping...because we need answers

 

[SelahOco]

This may sound stupid but he called her in front of me and told her not call anymore. This doesnt mean anything so thats why I will pursue my investigation to calm my nerves. He always says that I have my best friend which is a male IN ANOTHER COUNRTY ( CANADA) is the same as him having a friend. The difference is we having been friends for 10 yrs and this girl is a new friend. I feel dumb in front of you guys saying im staying but when I emailed her she said nothing is going on with him and someone refered her to him for a mortage and they cont talking well. I made it clear not ghetto or rude to him and her this friendship has to end. He has no excuses on why he sent her pictures so I will let that slide. God will everything out. I think I went crazy last week because I was on my cycle which me honestly for me crazy mode no time for bull...

No reason to feel dumb. For whatever reason you value this relationship and you've put time into it. I understand that, and I'm sure most of us do. I'll tell you like every man I know has told me, "Men do what they can." Whatever you blow off, or let slide will continue to happen because people (especially men) typically respond to consequence (or spiritual revelation).

Girl, you know you're mad about those pictures! But here's the thing. You have EVERY right to be. Don't be embarrassed because of what we think, we can kick rocks. Be embarrassed if you are not listening to you and your gut. If you don't like it, don't stand for it. Don't blow you off, treat you like you would treat your own daughter.

I know you're going to do what you want to do, as it would be hard to justify doing anything else. But perhaps you know in your heart that you're experiencing something below your priviledge. And your heart will tell you when it's not happy about something.

I wish you the best. And the best relationships have ups and downs, but it's not a full relationship if all of you and your feelings are not being represented IMO. Take your time. Make no babies.

 

[cuteazz1]

I know but I dunno. I am very confused believe me. I am praying He guides me through this.

Sorry,but God already gave you the answers.You are choosing to ignore them.

God is telling you to leave this relationship.God is telling you to love yourself more and to know that true love is not this difficult.Be well.

 

[Lenee925]

This may sound stupid but he called her in front of me and told her not call anymore. This doesnt mean anything so thats why I will pursue my investigation to calm my nerves. He always says that I have my best friend which is a male IN ANOTHER COUNRTY ( CANADA) is the same as him having a friend. The difference is we having been friends for 10 yrs and this girl is a new friend. I feel dumb in front of you guys saying im staying but when I emailed her she said nothing is going on with him and someone refered her to him for a mortage and they cont talking well. I made it clear not ghetto or rude to him and her this friendship has to end. He has no excuses on why he sent her pictures so I will let that slide. God will everything out. I think I went crazy last week because I was on my cycle which me honestly for me crazy mode no time for bull...

It's easy for everyone else to tell you to leave your man cuz It ain't them. I think you are doing the right thing by calming down and letting your man explain. We tend to blow things WAY out of proportion. But please stop 'investigating'. The man called her in front of you...leave it at that. Maybe it does mean something, maybe it doesn't. I wouldn't dwell on it, especially if you forgave him. Move on.

 

[firecracker]

This may sound stupid but he called her in front of me and told her not call anymore. This doesnt mean anything so thats why I will pursue my investigation to calm my nerves. He always says that I have my best friend which is a male IN ANOTHER COUNRTY ( CANADA) is the same as him having a friend. The difference is we having been friends for 10 yrs and this girl is a new friend. I feel dumb in front of you guys saying im staying but when I emailed her she said nothing is going on with him and someone refered her to him for a mortage and they cont talking well. I made it clear not ghetto or rude to him and her this friendship has to end. He has no excuses on why he sent her pictures so I will let that slide. God will everything out. I think I went crazy last week because I was on my cycle which me honestly for me crazy mode no time for bull...

The bold is an excuse sweetie. Your friend was their before and he accepted the friendship obviously. He can't justify a new female friend period. He likes that girl and got busted. I really feel for you. None of us are perfect so no need to feel stupid in front of us. You have to live with your decision and accept him for the playa/manupulator that he is. I hope his behavior changes and I hope you get what want out of the relationship.

 

[Amour]

OP you know what he's doing to you right?

He's turning the problem around ON YOU !! The fact that you invaded his privacy and the fact that you have a MALE FRIEND. I wouldn't allow him to do this. So what you invaded his privacy, if you didn't you wouldnt have found what you found.

More than likely the girl probably knew about you, that why he was able to call her up and say dont call me anymore and why she told you nothing was going on.

He will only try and get more clever with it. I wouldn't stay with someone who couldn't give me a VALID explanation of what was going on.

Best of Luck to you OP

 

[SelahOco]

More than likely the girl probably knew about you, that why he was able to call her up and say dont call me anymore and why she told you nothing was going on.

He will only try and get more clever with it. I wouldn't stay with someone who couldn't give me a VALID explanation of what was going on.

Best of Luck to you OP

And...not to beat a dead horse. But I was in a similar situation with a SO and I saw emails and late night phone calls, so I called the girl (because we were young women/girls) and asked her if they were messing around. She lied for him. I later found out that they were having sex with each other.

I confronted her and she said, "He told me to lie." SO said he never told her that, cause he didn't know I had her number. She lied cause she wanted to keep seeing him.

tag: OhHoesLieToo!

 

[itismehmmkay]

And...not to beat a dead horse. But I was in a similar situation with a SO and I saw emails and late night phone calls, so I called the girl (because we were young women/girls) and asked her if they were messing around. She lied for him. I later found out that they were having sex with each other.

I confronted her and she said, "He told me to lie." SO said he never told her that, cause he didn't know I had her number. She lied cause she wanted to keep seeing him.

tag: OhHoesLieToo!

It's all about that tag!!!
simple tricks

I meant to send the OP a PM about that but didn't want to come across as beating the dead horse either.

But definitely remember that women are trifling, too. And it's almost amazing how so

At the end of the day, you have to trust you. And I think that concept is sometimes harder to bring home than we realize. Decisions are hard. And they're even harder when you're basing them on what your "heart said" or "intuition told you" or any other non-tangible thing, which is why those decisions are easy to be talked out of. But those are the most realest (yep) decisions ever.

I, too, wish you the best