I am going to ask: If you were a guy would you date a black woman??

[sunshine91496]

I was reading last week a couple of boards about Men and black women. I found it totally by accident, while exploring well, let's just say some material for mature audiences. Anyway, the discussion was mostly from non-black guys stating why they would a) would have sex with a black woman, but not date or marry her, b) not marry or date under any circumstances) c) or date but not marry her. It was a little disturbing to say the least.

So these guys were going down the stereotypical reasons (loud, angry, etc.,) and it got me to thinking, if I were I guy would I be attracted to/ date etc. a black women, and I have to say I am not sure. I mean I see attractive black women all the time (including myself), I live in the DC area so they are everywhere, but I just can't imagine if I were a guy or hell even homosexual going for a black woman. That is not to say that I would go after a white woman either- because I probably would not.

I have been trying to figure this out for a few days. I know its not the end of the world, but I figured if I had so much difficulty understanding why I felt that way, maybe that explains, the guys' migration to women of other races. One thing I think is that not only are the stereotypes played up in the media, but as a result, even I as a black woman expect a "angry black woman" reaction when I encounter other black females. Many times I have been wrong, obviously, but I always seem to remember those instances, where I would meet, talk or ineract with the dreaded "angry black woman."

I guess what bothered me so much about this whole thing is

1) The fact the guys of all races were talking about this;
2) that not only did some of them find black women undesireable, but the fact that even in my own hypothetical it appeared that I also would find being with a black odd.

It is really an eye-opening experience, and I am not sure where this goes, but I thought it could be an interesting topic of discussion.

And before its said, I am not a self-hating black woman, I don't want to be anyone else than I already am (maybe a few pouns thinner- but that's really it). Any thoughts about this . . . . always looking for answers

 

[Magus484]

Where did you find this page? What's the address? This is a difficult question because I am black, so I'm gonna' be biased. I think black women are beautiful, but if I was a guy the attitudes that some black women have would scare me away. I hate to stereotype... I don't know....


Interesting question...

 

[FlowerHair]

If I were a man: Yes, Yes, Yes!

I would date women of all races

I find black women so beautiful and feminine, gorgeous bodies and skin tones.

Just take a look at the ladies of this board...

 

[glamazon386]

I would. Black women are some of the most beautiful creatures on earth. I wouldnt date hoodrats though.

 

[caltron]

Yeah, that is unfortunate that these guys are judging all black women based on few with attitudes.

However, most guys like this who say they would not date a black woman change their tune once they meet a black woman who is sweet, smart, intelligent, attractive, drama free and sane. A lot of these guys have not had any experiences with black women other than the negative stuff they've seen on T.V.

 

[candy1214]

Yeah cuz I like big butts and I cannot lie...LOL!!

I'd prolly date Black women from other countries though...just the exotic look and the fact that they're from a totally different place would intrigue me enough.

I think Black women are GOR-GEOUS!!

 

[Incredible1ne]

I would. I'd be open to date a woman of any race as long as she was attractive and had goals. I don't get why some people think black women are the only one with attitudes. I've seen women of all races go off publicly and at work LOL.

 

[Summer_Rain]

This will definitely be an interesting thread. Thinking about it as objectively as possible and taking race out of the equation, I can understand why a man wouldn't want to be with ANY woman that they view as angry, bitter, hostile, or otherwise lacking feminine traits. Just as I wouldn't want to be with a man (regardless of race) that I viewed as being effeminate.

IMHO - it's the stereotypes about us that are unattractive, not "us" specifically.

 

[candy1214]

I would. Black women are some of the most beautiful creatures on earth. I wouldnt date hoodrats though.

HEY HEY NOW!! Not everyone from the hood is a hoodrat

I guess I'm a hit dog. Still lub ya tho'

 

[spiceykitten]

Yes!!! I would but I am a bit prejudice. I would only date Black Caribbean and Latinas I like the spice.

 

[cocosweet]

Does this assume that all of the variables about me are the same only I'm male? If so, then the answer is yes.

 

[BAP28]

I FEEL THE SAME WAY IVE SEEN WOMEN OF ALL RACES HAVE AN ATTITUDE BE LOUD OR ETC. NOT SURE Y WE R IN THEIR CATEGORY- SOLELY...BUT THEN AGAIN *** THE PPL/MEN WHO FEEL THAT WAY....

BUT OF COURSE I WOULD DATE/MARRY A BLK WOMAN.... WE R THE FOUNDATION FOR EVERYTHING- RAISED EVERYONES CHILDREN AND THEN SOME..CAN BE HEAD OF OUR HOUSEHOLDS AND ETC Y WOULDN'T I WANT A WOMAN LIKE THAT AS A PARTNER FOR LIFE OR MATE....

I CANT EVEN WRAP MY BRAIN AROUND ANY BLK WOMAN WHO IF SHE WERE A MAN WOULD SAY THEY WOULDN'T DATE BLK WOMAN...

I would. I'd be open to date a woman of any race as long as she was attractive and had goals. I don't get why some people think black women are the only one with attitudes. I've seen women of all races go off publicly and at work LOL.

 

[Poohbear]

Yes! Why not?

 

[Chipmunk]

Definitely. Especially if she was like me .

 

[camellia]

If I were a man: Yes, Yes, Yes!

I would date women of all races

I find black women so beautiful and feminine, gorgeous bodies and skin tones.

Just take a look at the ladies of this board...

You stole my answer!


Of course. I look at people as individuals.

I'd date some of the ladies on here, no question, if they would have me.

 

[Hil84figer]

Absolutely not. They are loud bitter, angry women who will be after my money




















J/k. I was channeling Wesley Snipes right there. But I would date black women. I will deal with them on an individual basis. One black woman does not represent the majority of black women. I'll probably date all races depending if I find them attractive and there are common interests

 

[Honey]

I FEEL THE SAME WAY IVE SEEN WOMEN OF ALL RACES HAVE AN ATTITUDE BE LOUD OR ETC. NOT SURE Y WE R IN THEIR CATEGORY- SOLELY...BUT THEN AGAIN *** THE PPL/MEN WHO FEEL THAT WAY....

BUT OF COURSE I WOULD DATE/MARRY A BLK WOMAN.... WE R THE FOUNDATION FOR EVERYTHING- RAISED EVERYONES CHILDREN AND THEN SOME..CAN BE HEAD OF OUR HOUSEHOLDS AND ETC Y WOULDN'T I WANT A WOMAN LIKE THAT AS A PARTNER FOR LIFE OR MATE....

I CANT EVEN WRAP MY BRAIN AROUND ANY BLK WOMAN WHO IF SHE WERE A MAN WOULD SAY THEY WOULDN'T DATE BLK WOMAN...

You know, I am reading this and wondering how is it possible that some of us have so little regard for ourselves, that we would excuse the prejudice and bigotry of others. I really don't get it.

~Honey

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Yes!!! I would but I am a bit prejudice. I would only date Black Caribbean and Latinas I like the spice.

I would talk to a black woman in heartbeat!!!! But like you, I would have my preferences!

 

[Galleta]

if i were a guy i would definitely date me (i'm a beautiful, smart black woman that doesn't fit the stereotypes. there are so many of us that are not negative, loud, angry, uneducated, etc. but the media only portrays us negatively. just like all men are the same in some way. all women are alike in some ways too, we just express ourselves differently due our backgrounds and how we were raised.

 

[Windsy]

I would even the chicken heads and hood rats - we all need love.

Black women comes in many different flavas and who wouldn't want to try many different flavas? Kinda like Baskin Robins

 

[imstush]

This will definitely be an interesting thread. Thinking about it as objectively as possible and taking race out of the equation, I can understand why a man wouldn't want to be with ANY woman that they view as angry, bitter, hostile, or otherwise lacking feminine traits. Just as I wouldn't want to be with a man (regardless of race) that I viewed as being effeminate.

IMHO - it's the stereotypes about us that are unattractive, not "us" specifically.

I agree with this response.

 

[cocoberry10]

Yeah, that is unfortunate that these guys are judging all black women based on few with attitudes.

However, most guys like this who say they would not date a black woman change their tune once they meet a black woman who is sweet, smart, intelligent, attractive, drama free and sane. A lot of these guys have not had any experiences with black women other than the negative stuff they've seen on T.V.

This is the gospel truth!

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

Having grown up with people of different ethnicities I can tell you that a lot of men of different cultures don't want to date black women. A lot of them that I knew said that black women are loud, have bad attitudes, don't shave their body hair, have ugly hair, some have stank armpits, etc, etc. Of course they said they would have sex with one though. I'm not sure why you would want to hump someone who you thought had stank pits and body hair but whatever.


Me personally I'm picky. This woman would have to be at least an 8+ no matter what race she was.

 

[cocoberry10]

I would. I'd be open to date a woman of any race as long as she was attractive and had goals. I don't get why some people think black women are the only one with attitudes. I've seen women of all races go off publicly and at work LOL.

I know. I think it’s because our attitude is stereotypically more outward and non-black women’s attitude is more secretive (like they’ll slash someone’s tires or spread a rumor, whereas we will start yelling, acting out).

 

[cocoberry10]

This will definitely be an interesting thread. Thinking about it as objectively as possible and taking race out of the equation, I can understand why a man wouldn't want to be with ANY woman that they view as angry, bitter, hostile, or otherwise lacking feminine traits. Just as I wouldn't want to be with a man (regardless of race) that I viewed as being effeminate.

IMHO - it's the stereotypes about us that are unattractive, not "us" specifically.

I agree with this!

 

[Windsy]

Having grown up with people of different ethnicities I can tell you that a lot of men of different cultures don't want to date black women. A lot of them that I knew said that black women are loud, have bad attitudes, don't shave their body hair, have ugly hair, some have stank armpits, etc, etc. Of course they said they would have sex with one though. I'm not sure why you would want to hump someone who you thought had stank pits and body hair but whatever.


Me personally I'm picky. This woman would have to be at least an 8+ no matter what race she was.

Ok, so now I am offended (not with you). Are you telling me that people of other culture actually say those things about black women? What are we animals or something? That comment makes us seem like we are wild animals that lack domestification!

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

Yes... they do. One time I was in a cab and I was chit chatting with the cab driver and he said to me, " you speak really well". WTF was that supposed to mean? Do black people not have a grasp on the english language or something? erplexed erplexed

 

[cocoberry10]

Having grown up with people of different ethnicities I can tell you that a lot of men of different cultures don't want to date black women. A lot of them that I knew said that black women are loud, have bad attitudes, don't shave their body hair, have ugly hair, some have stank armpits, etc, etc. Of course they said they would have sex with one though. I'm not sure why you would want to hump someone who you thought had stank pits and body hair but whatever.


Me personally I'm picky. This woman would have to be at least an 8+ no matter what race she was.

Ok, so now I am offended (not with you). Are you telling me that people of other culture actually say those things about black women? What are we animals or something? That comment makes us seem like we are wild animals that lack domestification!

I also grew up with men of different races(Black and other), but I never found this to be the issue. I know most of them said they thought we would not want to date them. There may have been a black girl they wanted to ask to a dance or activity, and some would, but others would not. I grew up on the east coast, so I’m not sure if this matters. I will say this about men, (especially non-Black men). Some of the things we “celebrate” in our community are not as appreciated in other communities. Most of the white women I knew growing up were constantly dieting. Thinness is a standard in non-Black (including non-Latin) communities much more than it is in ours. I think men like femininity regardless, so if they see you as unfeminine (whether that be because of how you dress, carry yourself, or behave), I think they are less likely to want you.

 

[cocosweet]

Ok, so now I am offended (not with you). Are you telling me that people of other culture actually say those things about black women? What are we animals or something? That comment makes us seem like we are wild animals that lack domestification!

Yeah they say that mess. Sometimes I like to be a fly on the wall on message boards geared toward other ethnicities. Some of the things they say are absolutely sickening.

 

[sunshine91496]

Wow! I was beginning to think no one was going to answer my question. I found it online at a site called www.topix.net under African American. That was the first one, so then I did a google search of how men feel about black woman or are men attracted to blac k women, etc. Then several random blogs, boards popped up.

Here is a link to one of the forums:

http://www.topix.net/afam/T842AQ6KSU4TR5SS1

This one features mostly black guys I think, but you can expand the topic to see comments, on the general boards too.

Sorry I think I posted the wrong link ( although it is interesting also)