I have tried very hard not to become involved with any man who is otherwise involved somewhere else. I'd prefer not to begin a relationship with a person who is in the midst of an unresolved relationship and I believe that when someone is in a relationship with someone else, and then becomes "pulled" toward someone else, there is too much uncertainty about the source of those feelings....where the attraction is coming from.....whether it's truly a genuine connection or whether it is boredom/frustration.....relationships are work....and marriages and serious relationships have ebbs and flows....they are not always exciting and electric....they are dynamic....sometimes they are frustrating....sometimes you have to struggle not to lose yourself....other times you must struggle and dig deeper to reignite the spark....and then you find that the spark is better than it ever was before. Relationships are an opportunity to manifest your highest self. It's a chance to decide who your best self is and show up as that. But, if there's a lot of leaving and beginning anew each and every time one sees a "connection" outside, then you never really get to the depths of the relationship struggle to grow as an individual.
I'm saying that with the feeling that the "pulls" and "attractions" and "connections" we feel with others a lot of times are nothing more than sexual energy, longing for something we THINK we cannot get in our own relationships, or even a chance to connect on a level that is NOT sexual/romantic. I just would rather a man resolve his relationship issues and come to terms with the status of that relationship BEFORE we could ever be involved. That way, he's sure....I'm sure....the woman in question has closure....if he and I start a relationship, then there is no resentment, there is no bad karma, I have no insecurities about him regretting leaving her.
I totally agree with you on the connections.....People can easily think they have a connection with somebody and be working solely from the ego and selfish motives....they will make it be something special in order to satisfy their own needs without regards to anybody else.....Very few people operate from places of love in situations like this, str8 ego mode all the way....however some do and the way they handle it with consideration to all parties involved (ie including children) and what they personally feel is what determines the difference
I personally haven't been in the situation of "taking" somebody's man and then being in a relationship with him....I went on a cruise earlier this year and the guy i was with was trippin and actin a fool, met a married man whose wife was trippin and they were having problems.....we "connected" really well....had the same mindset and thought processess understood each other, great mind probing convos and we even shared a few kisses....we had great energy together, however we both knew that this wasn't "o its you you're the one" connection...more like a "maybe next lifetime" we both have things to resolve with who we are with so it was a chance to either become selfish and pursue something or act out of love and consideration for others involved in our lives and knowing what it really was and what it really wasn't and that just because we were connecting so well didn't mean we were meant to be together....he and i both knew that his journey in the present was still with his wife and being with him is not what would of been best for me on my personal journey
When I was younger there were a few times I engaged with men who were involved, never on a I gotta have him tip usually because I was with somebody myself....I was involved with these men who were "pretending' to want something they didnt because I was also "pretending" to want something I didn't want.....we were just attracting to each other....saying one thing on the surface, feeling something completely different within nothing deep or magical about them and definitely nothing I wanted to "trade" what I had for
As I gradually stopped fronting and pretending I wanted certain things I didn't and started being honest with who I am and what I am about and being honest with others instead of making them think i wanted one thing when that isn't what I wanted and acting out differently than what i was saying my relationships changed
I havent ran across men who are "taken" or "involved" on serious levels that I attract to and want to engage with with since then....not that they don't try to get at me, Im just not "pulled" to them and I definitely have not met one where I felt he was the one and he felt the same and he chose to leave his relationship for me
Since I just happen to be one of those people that everybody tells their business too I know people who have been in all sorts of situations involving other people and everything and every situation isn;t so black and white cut and dry and involving selfish intentions, some do involve real love, most don't because most people dont' know what real love is
everything that anybody experiences negative or positive is always in the long run for their higher good, whether they see it or not or choose to learn from it or stay enraged or angry is a different story
sometimes somebody leaving you is the BEST thing they could do for you
I still wish she could have broken the cycle and left Brad alone. I mean if he was going to eventually break up with Jen, it would have been nice if it didn't involve another woman.
