Have you ever "stolen" someone else's man?

[TCatt86]

Hehe I know!! I read your post and they are always well thought...as is this one.

What you said makes complete sense. I totally understand karma in the way it is explained here.

I'm not trying to get my head shrink wrapped for free, but I am confused at this point. I look at Tori, realizing this is television, and see two people happilly married with children. They started off married.

My motto used to be...the way a relationship starts is how it will end. I have often found that to be true.

But as for myself I have someone who has stated interest in me and he is in a relationship. I have told him that I have NO interest in a taken man. I did not say this so he would leave her, I just wanted him to know where I stood. He says he is about to leave her...anyways on that one. I know how men can be and I want no parts of that. I told him if he is unhappy in the relationship then do what he feels is right, but do not use me as a scapegoat.

We are friends and a couple of my girls tell me that it is wrong to even be friends with him on that level. They say this because of our shared attraction to one another, and the fact that he has a GF.

Is my being friends with him being an "active particiapnt"? Maybe I should have called the thread "Has a man ever left his SO to be with you"? Ho Hum...

I think that has more to do with the character of the person as opposed to karma... When two people enter into a relationship lying, then what's to be expected?

 

[tinkat]

I have never stolen someone else's man but I had someone leave their girlfriend for me. I felt bad about it but we all were young, I just started college and the girl still had a year left in high school. The result was a 5.5 year relationship that had alot of great times, bad times, and learning experiences. He did his dirt, we grew apart and if it was up to him we would still be together.

 

[Tee]

Your thread title and poll is quite different from the questions you are asking in your post.

I've never pursued a man who was in a relationship, but I've had a number of men in relationships pursue me. One of my exes officially dumped his girlfriend so that he could pursue me, but I had no PROACTIVE role in that. It was all his choice. I let him charm me and we were in a relationship for a few years. Being older and wiser I'd be much more weary of a man who see's an upgrade and goes after it with reckless abandon.

The whole idea that someone can steal someone from someone else is ridiculous though IMO, no one OWNS another human being, not even those in a relationship. They are in a relationship because both parties are participating. Some women seem to need to be reminded constantly that men are not mindless objects when it comes to other women. They have a choice in whether or not they want to be 'stolen'.

Thanks for saving me some keystrokes. This is exactly what I was going to say. I don't even like the term "Stole her man."

 

[Tee]

What did you do Ramya? I'm curious how you made things difficult for him to ignore and if it worked out in the end. Why do you think that it was wrong? Oh and I take that you would not do that again...

Just knowing her character, I can answer that one and tell you her answer will be no.

 

[Murjani]

I wouldn't want anyone who could so-called be "stolen" that easily. What happens when the next train comes along, trust me he will be hopping on board.

 

[Ramya]

@ the bolded...this is a very good point. Technically a person is single, if they are not married. I do not agree with this notion. If the shoe was on the other foot, people would not be feeling it. So what behaviors/actions are considered disrespectful to the GF?



What did you do Ramya? I'm curious how you made things difficult for him to ignore and if it worked out in the end. Why do you think that it was wrong? Oh and I take that you would not do that again...

No I wouldn't do it again. I was wrong period. I knew they (yes, they) were in relationships and I entertained their advances anyway. I went on dates with them, flirted with them, got intimate with them and allowed them to treat me as their girlfriend while they had perfectly capable girlfriends at home. Again, I was wrong. For me it turned out 'fine' but for them, yeah I did break their hearts and they broke the hearts of the women they were with. They genuinely "fell" in love with me and I never loved them. Just loved what they could do for me.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Nope!

for me karma is a mother.

 

[Renovating]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's impossible to steal another person unless it's kidnap. The theory of being able to "steal" someone's man is a tactic men use to get women to fight over them. JMHO

 

[SleekandBouncy]

I think the PC and more technically correct phrasing would be "have you ever assisted in the premature departure of someone else's man" or even more clear "have you gone after and obtained goods that were in the possession of someone else at the time?".

 

[aribell]

if you feel internal guilt, you will create a situation that will "punish" yourself back, but only you will blame it on somebody else, (ie, you get a man thru deceit and negative intentions easily you can lose him or another to it the same way and then say its all their fault for doing this to you)....if somebody is going after somebody's man out of spite, jealousy, competition, etc their intentions are all negative based, their karma will be "negative".....if people happen to connect and one or both are "taken" and they decide to act on love and leave who they are with to be with another their karma will be love...the way they leave will not be done in a "shady" way and their intentions to the others in their lives won't be to hurt them, they will act on honesty and truth of what they feel vs lying, hiding, pretending to "protect" (will create internal negative emotions as well)....love is the higher cause

Like Tiara said, I'd definately be sure that all intentions and actions were free of negativity and all about the love. It can be done. Some people are together and aren't truly meant to be together. There is a right way for them to part though, and timing and consideration should be given to previous commitments to dissolve on their own accord before acting on the new or truer love. That way it will be free of bad energy and karma.

ITA. The person who is left will always feel hurt and disappointment if they felt that the person who left them was the one for them. But they would have been hurt even if they were broken up with in the best of situations. In dating situations, I think that so long as two people do their best to be forthright and to honor all parties involved, then they haven't wronged anyone.

But chokolate miss also brought up a good point about the worry not being about karma, but about whether this is this person's M.O. In that case, I would have to know that this person had independent reasons for ending their previous relationship that were unrelated to me, and independent reasons for wanting to pursue a relationship with me that were unrelated to any unhappiness in their previous relationship.

 

[Renovating]

I think the PC and more technically correct phrasing would be "have you ever assisted in the premature departure of someone else's man" or even more clear "have you gone after and obtained goods that were in the possession of someone else at the time?".

Very funny. I just hate to hear women saying," That trifling this and that stole my man."



Makes me want to say, "Girl, no she didn't. He was ready to leave, so he did. "

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

@ the bolded...this is a very good point. Technically a person is single, if they are not married. I do not agree with this notion. If the shoe was on the other foot, people would not be feeling it. So what behaviors/actions are considered disrespectful to the GF?

What behaviors??

Well, it can be a range of things, and of course everyone's conscience is going to vary, but...

For ME personally, I would feel like these listed actions/behaviors would be INappropriate when dealing with a guy that you KNOW is either married, or "taken". For example:

-Being OVERLY and OVERTLY flirtatious with him
-Calling him up for no good reason (you know what I mean... )
-Touching him in a "more than friendly" manner
-Asking him about things he shouldn't be talking about with another woman who is NOT his sister or significant other lol
-"sexting"
-Trying to spend a lot of time with him AWAY from his girlfriend
-Manipulating things by putting yourself in situations where you and he can be alone together
-Talking badly about his girlfriend/wife
-Teasing him with sexual innuendos and double-entendre jokes

THere are just so many things that are inappropriate to me regarding this, but those are the things that immediately came to my mind.

Basically, when I know that a guy is in a committed relationship or is married to another woman, he automatically becomes like a brother to me. ESPECIALLY if I sense that he's attracted to me, or I'm attracted to him. If there's NO attraction whatsoever, then I may loosen up a bit, but I don't do things that are you know....things I wouldn't feel comfortable for my boyfriend/husband to be doing w/another woman.

Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not "rigid" or uptight. I can laugh and joke with married men till the cows come home. But there is a difference. YOu'll sense it when things have gone a little too far...

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

i wasn't a homewrecker, but i've dated a married guy before... had no idea... and he was pushin for it the whole time... i was just kinda chillin... lol

 

[LoveLiLi]

I didn't 'steal' him. We were friends (no sex, no dates etc - just friends) and after several months he asked me how I felt about him and if I could see us in a relationship.

I told him I couldn't answer that because he had a girlfriend. He tried his hardest to get an answer out of me, but I didn't want to be the reason he left her. He broke up with her and then asked me again.

We waited a bit and then began a relationship. We were together for over 3 yrs and he was the best SO I've ever had. Honestly, we broke up over things that could have been worked out, but once I'm fed up, I'm out the door. Even though he corrected certain things, I was so frustrated that I just didn't want to be with him at all.

Even though he left his SO to be with me, I was never insecure in the relationship and we had very minor issues. I miss him .

 

[fmnnity]

Yep. It was kind of my m.o. when I was younger. But like everyone says karma is a big ******. She got me reeeeeaaaaaaallllllllly good. And can you believe I still hadn't learned my lesson?!! Luckily I matured before doing any serious damage.

 

[chokolate miss]

No I wouldn't do it again. I was wrong period. I knew they (yes, they) were in relationships and I entertained their advances anyway. I went on dates with them, flirted with them, got intimate with them and allowed them to treat me as their girlfriend while they had perfectly capable girlfriends at home. Again, I was wrong. For me it turned out 'fine' but for them, yeah I did break their hearts and they broke the hearts of the women they were with. They genuinely "fell" in love with me and I never loved them. Just loved what they could do for me.

Thanks for answering! I was not expecting that at all! But you POV is quite compelling. I have never done that, but I can see how in a way it could be an ego boost. Unfortunately at the expense of others emotions. Yes, you were wrong, but they were equally if not more wrong. I am not justifying the situation, but in the end aren't they the ones who hold responsibility to the GF?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's impossible to steal another person unless it's kidnap. The theory of being able to "steal" someone's man is a tactic men use to get women to fight over them. JMHO

I think the PC and more technically correct phrasing would be "have you ever assisted in the premature departure of someone else's man" or even more clear "have you gone after and obtained goods that were in the possession of someone else at the time?".

I know! I just did not know how else to put it! But thanks S&B for the suggestions!!!Or how about "are you down with OPP (the "P" being male genitalia????) Hmmm quite gully and vulgar, but I guess people would get it?

ITA. The person who is left will always feel hurt and disappointment if they felt that the person who left them was the one for them. But they would have been hurt even if they were broken up with in the best of situations. In dating situations, I think that so long as two people do their best to be forthright and to honor all parties involved, then they haven't wronged anyone.

But chokolate miss also brought up a good point about the worry not being about karma, but about whether this is this person's M.O. In that case, I would have to know that this person had independent reasons for ending their previous relationship that were unrelated to me, and independent reasons for wanting to pursue a relationship with me that were unrelated to any unhappiness in their previous relationship.

That's my thing. It you want to leave, leave. But don't wait around at the station until the next train comes. Pack your bags and start walking...he is not hopping on this ride!

What behaviors??

Well, it can be a range of things, and of course everyone's conscience is going to vary, but...

For ME personally, I would feel like these listed actions/behaviors would be INappropriate when dealing with a guy that you KNOW is either married, or "taken". For example:

-Being OVERLY and OVERTLY flirtatious with him
-Calling him up for no good reason (you know what I mean... )
-Touching him in a "more than friendly" manner
-Asking him about things he shouldn't be talking about with another woman who is NOT his sister or significant other lol
-"sexting"
-Trying to spend a lot of time with him AWAY from his girlfriend
-Manipulating things by putting yourself in situations where you and he can be alone together
-Talking badly about his girlfriend/wife
-Teasing him with sexual innuendos and double-entendre jokes

THere are just so many things that are inappropriate to me regarding this, but those are the things that immediately came to my mind.

Basically, when I know that a guy is in a committed relationship or is married to another woman, he automatically becomes like a brother to me. ESPECIALLY if I sense that he's attracted to me, or I'm attracted to him. If there's NO attraction whatsoever, then I may loosen up a bit, but I don't do things that are you know....things I wouldn't feel comfortable for my boyfriend/husband to be doing w/another woman.

Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not "rigid" or uptight. I can laugh and joke with married men till the cows come home. But there is a difference. YOu'll sense it when things have gone a little too far...

Thanks! That was really a sincere question on my part. I wanted to know if I was crossing the line. From your response...I am.

I didn't 'steal' him. We were friends (no sex, no dates etc - just friends) and after several months he asked me how I felt about him and if I could see us in a relationship.

I told him I couldn't answer that because he had a girlfriend. He tried his hardest to get an answer out of me, but I didn't want to be the reason he left her. He broke up with her and then asked me again.

We waited a bit and then began a relationship. We were together for over 3 yrs and he was the best SO I've ever had. Honestly, we broke up over things that could have been worked out, but once I'm fed up, I'm out the door. Even though he corrected certain things, I was so frustrated that I just didn't want to be with him at all.

Even though he left his SO to be with me, I was never insecure in the relationship and we had very minor issues. I miss him .

Aww sorry girl. This was one of the major questions I had. Would in the back of my mind, I always think that he is on the verge of leaving. But I believe that you have to start out as a secure person. I am not that secure, so I think that I would worry about the stability and security of the relationship.

And I see that you waited. It looks like you played all of your cards right and then life happened. The best laid plans...

 

[chokolate miss]

i wasn't a homewrecker, but i've dated a married guy before... had no idea... and he was pushin for it the whole time... i was just kinda chillin... lol

Wow married?! That happened to a friend of mine. He would never let her come over, always talking about his apartment was in disarray...blah blah!

Come to find out he was "separated" with a child on the way with said wife. It was a total mess!

Any time I have been in a relationship and got the urge to stray and now longer wanted to be in the situation I left. But many people want the side piece.

I have a former co-worker who blatantly stated that she cheats on her SO all of the time. She said that she told him when they got together that she did not believe in monogomy. She said that he was OK with thaterplexed. Now, this is kind of different because she has no desire to leave her SO. But I do not understand that. If you want to live the single life why not just be single...? Could it be for financial reasons?

 

[chokolate miss]

Yep. It was kind of my m.o. when I was younger. But like everyone says karma is a big ******. She got me reeeeeaaaaaaallllllllly good. And can you believe I still hadn't learned my lesson?!! Luckily I matured before doing any serious damage.

Do tell, por favor??

 

[sylver2]

i've had a man stolen from me..but then i guess they weren't my man then.
and yes i've 'stolen' someones man(men) just to see if i could. this was like 18 years ago though and no sex was involved.

 

[jada1111]

I don't want to be with a man that is currently in an unhappy relationship. If he can't leave her on his OWN without needing another woman in the picture for him to move in with, then I don't want him.

I wouldn't be able to trust that he wouldn't do this to me. I find men like this gutless. Ninety percent of women have no idea that their man wants to leave them, whereas women will always voice their displeasure about wanting the man to move out.

Women will leave a man when she's had enough WITHOUT anybody waiting for her. Men won't do that. Hardly, ever. They can walk in on you getting sexed by another dude and he STILL won't leave. Yeah, he'll probably go after the dude and beat your arse, but he won't go ANYWHERE.

 

[tiara76]

I don't want to be with a man that is currently in an unhappy relationship. If he can't leave her on his OWN without needing another woman in the picture for him to move in with, then I don't want him.

I wouldn't be able to trust that he wouldn't do this to me. I find men like this gutless. Ninety percent of women have no idea that their man wants to leave them, whereas women will always voice their displeasure about wanting the man to move out.

Women will leave a man when she's had enough WITHOUT anybody waiting for her. Men won't do that. Hardly, ever. They can walk in on you getting sexed by another dude and he STILL won't leave. Yeah, he'll probably go after the dude and beat your arse, but he won't go ANYWHERE.

Really??

personal experience with women is they will stay with somebody too until somebody better comes along if they feel they are unhappy or discontent (and will cheat just as much as men on top of it)......majority of people will stay even if miserable unless they find a better "option" and that goes for men and women....there aren't too many people (men or women) okay with being "alone" or without somebody if they don't "have" to be, even if it means staying with somebody they are not really feeling

and on the flip....there are people who are together and not necessarily "unhappy" or "miserable" or looking for a way out of the relationship....some folks settle to be comfortable and safe with somebody and they are quite okay with that not even looking for anything else..but if they happen to run across someone that stirs their heart and pulls at their love strings they realize comfy and safe just might not be what they want out of life

some folks truly love each other and they are just growing apart and the relationship with from flowing to forcing...they don't necessarily just want to leave or ditch somebody , life and love works in ways to get people into the best possible situations for their personal growth and that means ending current relationships that are stunting both people's growth for them to attract situations that will be for their benefit of growing.....

Every situation isn't so cut and dry , yet we tend to generalize them all as being a certain way

 

[Princess4real]

Stopping by and checking out all of the BS that's being typed in this thread. It's never okay to be trifling and what goes around will come around! I'm glad that the ones who admitted to this realized they were wrong, but for the ones who thinks it's okay and that karma brought you a person that was in a relationship penis and now it's yours and you should receive and embrace it because after all if he was happy it wouldn't have floated your way. Don't be shocked when his penis starts floating off again after he's done hoeing around in your garden. Let me stop, no man in his right mind would ever want to leave you and if he does, you will probably go back to doing what you do best, sheltering all the penises who told you they weren't happy with their SO! Now that's some good karma there!

 

[Princess4real]

What behaviors??

Well, it can be a range of things, and of course everyone's conscience is going to vary, but...

For ME personally, I would feel like these listed actions/behaviors would be INappropriate when dealing with a guy that you KNOW is either married, or "taken". For example:

-Being OVERLY and OVERTLY flirtatious with him
-Calling him up for no good reason (you know what I mean... )
-Touching him in a "more than friendly" manner
-Asking him about things he shouldn't be talking about with another woman who is NOT his sister or significant other lol
-"sexting"
-Trying to spend a lot of time with him AWAY from his girlfriend
-Manipulating things by putting yourself in situations where you and he can be alone together
-Talking badly about his girlfriend/wife
-Teasing him with sexual innuendos and double-entendre jokes

THere are just so many things that are inappropriate to me regarding this, but those are the things that immediately came to my mind.

Basically, when I know that a guy is in a committed relationship or is married to another woman, he automatically becomes like a brother to me. ESPECIALLY if I sense that he's attracted to me, or I'm attracted to him. If there's NO attraction whatsoever, then I may loosen up a bit, but I don't do things that are you know....things I wouldn't feel comfortable for my boyfriend/husband to be doing w/another woman.

Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not "rigid" or uptight. I can laugh and joke with married men till the cows come home. But there is a difference. YOu'll sense it when things have gone a little too far...

Good post!

 

[chokolate miss]

Really??

personal experience with women is they will stay with somebody too until somebody better comes along if they feel they are unhappy or discontent (and will cheat just as much as men on top of it)......majority of people will stay even if miserable unless they find a better "option" and that goes for men and women....there aren't too many people (men or women) okay with being "alone" or without somebody if they don't "have" to be, even if it means staying with somebody they are not really feeling

and on the flip....there are people who are together and not necessarily "unhappy" or "miserable" or looking for a way out of the relationship....some folks settle to be comfortable and safe with somebody and they are quite okay with that not even looking for anything else..but if they happen to run across someone that stirs their heart and pulls at their love strings they realize comfy and safe just might not be what they want out of life

some folks truly love each other and they are just growing apart and the relationship with from flowing to forcing...they don't necessarily just want to leave or ditch somebody , life and love works in ways to get people into the best possible situations for their personal growth and that means ending current relationships that are stunting both people's growth for them to attract situations that will be for their benefit of growing.....

Every situation isn't so cut and dry , yet we tend to generalize them all as being a certain way

This post answers my previous question. A lot of people, like you said, men and women will stay in a relationship because it is convenient. They will do dirt and act as if they are single, when they clearly are not. People do what they do for many different reasons, although they may be doing the same things. The motives are not.

Sometimes you think that you have something good or normal, until someone comes along and shows you different. For example, sexual relations. Several women I talked to thought it was typical not to have the big O. Then, they met a man who knew just what to do to them and things changed.

This goes back to the original question, sort of. Is it possible for you or him to believe that what you have it the real deal only to feel later on that it is not, once you meet another person who rocks your world, sparks something inside of you that you never thought was possible. I am not talking about sex here. I am speaking of a deep connection that goes beyond that...

Stopping by and checking out all of the BS that's being typed in this thread. It's never okay to be trifling and what goes around will come around! I'm glad that the ones who admitted to this realized they were wrong, but for the ones who thinks it's okay and that karma brought you a person that was in a relationship penis and now it's yours and you should receive and embrace it because after all if he was happy it wouldn't have floated your way. Don't be shocked when his penis starts floating off again after he's done hoeing around in your garden. Let me stop, no man in his right mind would ever want to leave you and if he does, you will probably go back to doing what you do best, sheltering all the penises who told you they weren't happy with their SO! Now that's some good karma there!

Eh, LOL OK?! I think almost everyone has said that it is not alright to deliberately go after a man that you know is in a relationship with another woman. If the shoe was on the other foot, the pain would potentially be incredible.

This is not just about penis. Penis comes and goes. But this is about love and all that comes with it. Take Angelina Jolie for example. She and Brad had this affair of the heart (and maybe of the loins) while he was married to Jennifer Aniston. I realize they represent Hollywood and not the "real world". But the connection they share appears to be amazing. Far more intellectual and rooted than the relationship with Jenn. You don't think that you can meet the person that you were meant to be with, while you are currently with another?

Now I would resent a man leaving me for another woman. But if he is not there mentally and emotionally, why would I want him to stay?

I appreciate the convo ladies!

 

[Princess4real]

This post answers my previous question. A lot of people, like you said, men and women will stay in a relationship because it is convenient. They will do dirt and act as if they are single, when they clearly are not. People do what they do for many different reasons, although they may be doing the same things. The motives are not.

Sometimes you think that you have something good or normal, until someone comes along and shows you different. For example, sexual relations. Several women I talked to thought it was typical not to have the big O. Then, they met a man who knew just what to do to them and things changed.

This goes back to the original question, sort of. Is it possible for you or him to believe that what you have it the real deal only to feel later on that it is not, once you meet another person who rocks your world, sparks something inside of you that you never thought was possible. I am not talking about sex here. I am speaking of a deep connection that goes beyond that...



Eh, LOL OK?! I think almost everyone has said that it is not alright to deliberately go after a man that you know is in a relationship with another woman. If the shoe was on the other foot, the pain would potentially be incredible.

This is not just about penis. Penis comes and goes. But this is about love and all that comes with it. Take Angelina Jolie for example. She and Brad had this affair of the heart (and maybe of the loins) while he was married to Jennifer Aniston. I realize they represent Hollywood and not the "real world". But the connection they share appears to be amazing. Far more intellectual and rooted than the relationship with Jenn. You don't think that you can meet the person that you were meant to be with, while you are currently with another?

Now I would resent a man leaving me for another woman. But if he is not there mentally and emotionally, why would I want him to stay?

I appreciate the convo ladies!

I agree with some of what you said, but there are alot of chicks out there who act like the penis is the second coming and love has nothing to do with it. How can you take sex out of it when it's a big reason why men and women cheat? There are women who get off on breaking up other people's relationships just because.

ETA: The chicks I know and some of the relatives I have did not care about a deep connection. These ladies do it for purely selfish reasons. It makes them feel good!!!

 

[tiara76]

I agree with some of what you said, but there are alot of chicks out there who act like the penis is the second coming and love has nothing to do with it. How can you take sex out of it when it's a big reason why men and women cheat? There are women who get off on breaking helping to break up other people's relationships just because.

ETA: The chicks I know and some of the relatives I do not care about a deep connection. These ladies do it for purely selfish reasons. It makes them feel good!!!

it works both ways,..there are people who were with people soley for great sex or superficial reasons and then met somebody else who moved them on different levels other than just sex or other superficial levels, so the great sex was a good enough reason to stay with somebody, however the connections on higher levels with another was a better reason to leave, whereas before they were even aware other levels of connections could exist with someone, what they were experiencing was "good" for them

People are doing alot of things in life for purely selfish reasons that have nothing to do with real love, just reasons to get what they want out of somebody that is not limited to going after people who are involved with others

 

[Princess4real]

This post answers my previous question. A lot of people, like you said, men and women will stay in a relationship because it is convenient. They will do dirt and act as if they are single, when they clearly are not. People do what they do for many different reasons, although they may be doing the same things. The motives are not.

Sometimes you think that you have something good or normal, until someone comes along and shows you different. For example, sexual relations. Several women I talked to thought it was typical not to have the big O. Then, they met a man who knew just what to do to them and things changed.

This goes back to the original question, sort of. Is it possible for you or him to believe that what you have it the real deal only to feel later on that it is not, once you meet another person who rocks your world, sparks something inside of you that you never thought was possible. I am not talking about sex here. I am speaking of a deep connection that goes beyond that...



Eh, LOL OK?! I think almost everyone has said that it is not alright to deliberately go after a man that you know is in a relationship with another woman. If the shoe was on the other foot, the pain would potentially be incredible.

This is not just about penis. Penis comes and goes. But this is about love and all that comes with it. Take Angelina Jolie for example. She and Brad had this affair of the heart (and maybe of the loins) while he was married to Jennifer Aniston. I realize they represent Hollywood and not the "real world". But the connection they share appears to be amazing. Far more intellectual and rooted than the relationship with Jenn. You don't think that you can meet the person that you were meant to be with, while you are currently with another?

Now I would resent a man leaving me for another woman. But if he is not there mentally and emotionally, why would I want him to stay?

I appreciate the convo ladies!

No, I think you can meet people that you find to be attractive and then depending on what is going on in your relationship, you may want to have sex with that person and if the sex is good, that's when I think the mind tells women more than men, that they were meant to be with that person, IMO. I say women more than men because it seems like women get their feelings all caught up in relationships such as, getting involved in a one night stand more than men do.

 

[fmnnity]

Do tell, por favor??

Long story short . . . I took guy, guy dumps me. Fast forward a few years I was determined to get same guy. Pulled guy from "failing relationship" and set up house. Guy leaves for 18 yo he met working at McDonald's. When I look back on it it was hilarious but at the time it was incredibly painful and humiliating. I still didn't learn my lesson though and spent many years being the other woman fueled by promises that they'd leave their wives or SO's. I'm so glad that period of my life is over. Now when I see friends in this situation it takes everything in me not to voice my opinion but you have to let folks live their lives.

 

[Princess4real]

Long story short . . . I took guy, guy dumps me. Fast forward a few years I was determined to get same guy. Pulled guy from "failing relationship" and set up house. Guy leaves for 18 yo he met working at McDonald's. When I look back on it it was hilarious but at the time it was incredibly painful and humiliating. I still didn't learn my lesson though and spent many years being the other woman fueled by promises that they'd leave their wives or SO's. I'm so glad that period of my life is over. Now when I see friends in this situation it takes everything in me not to voice my opinion but you have to let folks live their lives.

If I may ask, was there a deep connection that lead you to want to pursue that person or was it for purely selfish reasons? I mean why him?

 

[tiara76]

This post answers my previous question. A lot of people, like you said, men and women will stay in a relationship because it is convenient. They will do dirt and act as if they are single, when they clearly are not. People do what they do for many different reasons, although they may be doing the same things. The motives are not.

Sometimes you think that you have something good or normal, until someone comes along and shows you different. For example, sexual relations. Several women I talked to thought it was typical not to have the big O. Then, they met a man who knew just what to do to them and things changed.

This goes back to the original question, sort of. Is it possible for you or him to believe that what you have it the real deal only to feel later on that it is not, once you meet another person who rocks your world, sparks something inside of you that you never thought was possible. I am not talking about sex here. I am speaking of a deep connection that goes beyond that...



Eh, LOL OK?! I think almost everyone has said that it is not alright to deliberately go after a man that you know is in a relationship with another woman. If the shoe was on the other foot, the pain would potentially be incredible.

This is not just about penis. Penis comes and goes. But this is about love and all that comes with it. Take Angelina Jolie for example. She and Brad had this affair of the heart (and maybe of the loins) while he was married to Jennifer Aniston. I realize they represent Hollywood and not the "real world". But the connection they share appears to be amazing. Far more intellectual and rooted than the relationship with Jenn. You don't think that you can meet the person that you were meant to be with, while you are currently with another?

Now I would resent a man leaving me for another woman. But if he is not there mentally and emotionally, why would I want him to stay?

I appreciate the convo ladies!

I can feel you on the brad/angelina/jennifer scenario....before brad even started working on mr n mrs smith it was obvious that him and jennifer's energy was "off".....not saying he didn't love her or care about her or that he was so miserable that he was searching outside of her...maybe he was maybe he wasn't but in that article he wrote for W magazine where him and Angelina posed as a family most people were so appalled at their photos and saw it as a slap in the face to jen that few people actually read the arcticle or the reason why the pictures were taken....

Brad produced the shoot specifically to show a seemingly happy couple on the front but specifically was looking to make the shots void of any real emotion....picture perfect, looks good to other people but underneath its empty....in the article he said you go after something and you make all the right moves and choices to get what is supposed to be "happiness" and yet you can't figure out why you feel so empty still....him and jen were the golden couple...looked great on paper and in pictures, but in reality on deeper levels there was something missing and they obviously weren't on the same page with priorities in life......and he said that he didn't know what it was and you wont' know until you experience something different and be like...this is what it feels like....something can look great on the surface and be empty within....and it may look "horrible" on the surface but on deeper levels its amazing

It seemed jen was more worried about shattering the perfect "image" than anything else to me impo of course

and with Angelina....she had so many issues of hurt and betrayal over her father and his "mistress" that she could not understand and hated him for his actions...yet she grows up and finds herself experiencing on the other end .... while she was holding onto the idea that her father and the women, or woman he may have left for are the most horrible people...

was her dad truly unhappy with his wife and found another who felt a deeper connection with, or was he just a trifling cold hearted dead beat running around with women of same caliber character who didn't give a flyng f about his wife or kids...he probably didn't handle the situation really well as most people don't because honesty and truth really isn't what is perpetuated in this society and people claim thats what they want when it really isn't...his side of the story is he did divorce the mother and leave however he tried to give her money and support and wanted to see his kids ...the mother was angry at him and kept the kids away, turned them against him by infusing her own anger into them and refused to take any support financial support...her side is he left her high and dry with two kids with no attempts or consideration for them, no love and just went off frolicking with his new chick while her and the kids were the victims of his actions...there are always three sides to a story....his side, her side and the truth which usually is somewhere in the middle of both

so now angelina is experiencing same sorts of situations that she felt damaged her emotional well being...however is angelina just a triflling horrible person who has to have somebody else's man or did she truly have feelings and deep connections with these people even though they may have been with somebody else....if her dad is the most horrible person walking the earth then what is Brad?....it seems she feel he is the greatest...he divorced his wife for her and their energy is definitely intense together and I can't say Im picking up negative vibes from them