Everything was cool until he____(fill in the blank)

Funny thread. :lachen:

Let's set the scene: We're at at a club...

-told me he was a rapper when I asked what his profession was. :perplexed
-told me that he didn't drive.
-told me why he didn't drive (run-in with the law).
-told me he had just gotten out of jail. :nono:
-told me his ride had left him at the club and asked if he could catch a ride home with me. :rolleyes:

This is all the same guy. What an ****** loser. :nono:
 
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Everything was cool until he:

Actually told me he was considering getting back with his ex (who dumped him) for "a couple of weeks" so that he could dump her and hurt her like he was hurt.

UM. HELLOOOO THERAPY!
 
mysweetevie said:
He wanted someone like his mama...that meant i had to gain an additional 100lbs! :ohwell:

He told me that a woman should pay to play this is the 2000's:nono:

He told me that women need to learn to share men because a blackman like him is so hard to find:sad:

He began to tell stories of his past conquests that lead him to a criminal record:nono:
Click to expand...

:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeells no!
 
Everything was cool until he---

- Tried to ride on the side of me cursing me out as I walked to the bus stop but had to ride with the door open as he cursed me because his window didn't roll down.
- Told me that he didn't work because he was focused on his music career.
- Pulled down his pants and his **** was so little that I then felt like a lesbian.
 
Lets see...

~told me that he was the best thing that could EVERY happen to me.
~told me to loss my trini accent because i NOW work in corp america.
~told me i was self-fish because i would not allow him to have a 3some with me and my sister.
~got mad at me because i would not give me a key to my apt 3 weeks after me.
~called/texted me at work asking for some pu@#y only after 3 weeks of knowing him.
 
Everything was cool until he---

told me whats wrong with drink driving

(different guy)
im not really good at relationships (actually with this guy everything was cool til he opened his mouth)

Differnt guy

at the cinema after buying his ticket (he asked me out by the way) turns to me and says arent you getting yours?

Different guy

wanted to take me to a strip club for our first date
 
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yorlooksmybiz said:
Everything was cool until he ________________ (getting to know him stage) asked me to give him a ride to a job interview (his car was in the shop) and he wore shorts to the interview...a managerial interview. I did not stick around his life enough to see if he got the job!


I n-e-v-e-r considered lowering "my" standards again! :nono:​
Click to expand...


:lachen::lachen::lachen: shorts!! :lachen::lachen: where do these men come from??:lachen:
 
Everything was cool until he____:
(all separate dates)

....said "peace out!" on the phone and stop talking to me after not giving up my v-status.

...pulled his jeans down randomly, had on tighty whities AND had a peepee the size of my pinky finger (erect) NO LIE.

...told me he could see my a__ from the front.

...brought me to his house (he lived with his mother) didn't introduce me and took me into his bedroom expecting sex on the 1st date with his mom in the house!

...turned up his stereo and was singing the words to a song about killing people and busting b****s raw.

...Called me FROM JAIL asking if I would write him. My dad's an ex-police officer and found out what he didn't want to tell me. He was in jail for having sex with a person under 13..
 
hmm funny thread

-- told me he loved me
-- Spit every 60 seconds
-- complaining he was hot....grown ma sitting in a bedroom under a box fan in 90 degree weather
-- was in the bath tub everytime he called me, yuck.
-- ringing my doorbell.....he told me he did, but i didnt answer, I told him i disabled the bell for that reason. Even family need to call first. I have shut my lights off on my own cousin. Do not ring my bell.
 
Would this happen to be "All you can eats"? :giggle:

tenjoy said:
hmm funny thread

-- told me he loved me
-- Spit every 60 seconds
-- complaining he was hot....grown ma sitting in a bedroom under a box fan in 90 degree weather
-- was in the bath tub everytime he called me, yuck.
-- ringing my doorbell.....he told me he did, but i didnt answer, I told him i disabled the bell for that reason. Even family need to call first. I have shut my lights off on my own cousin. Do not ring my bell.
Click to expand...
 
... left me sitting in the car when I came to pick him up to go to the movies just so he could "get high real quick". I pulled off and left his... butt only for him to call me and with a ridiculous excuse of him having to cut up some chicken for some grown kids...

yeah i'm done with dating...
 
... I walked into his place and had to pause and regulate my breathing otherwise I would've thrown up because it smelled, literally, like hot garbage and body funk on top of it being really humid that day. Roaches were everywhere and when I left I felt like I had a sticky film all over me. I rushed home for a shower never to return again.

HOW DARE HE ASK ME TO COME OVER!!!!!!!!


Sad but true story...
 
BTW: These weren't all the same guy


Everything was cool until he....

...unwrapped his package and I realized that he had the "fun-size" not the full-size bar, if you know what I mean :cry:
...I found out he has a record, if he had told me from jump maybe it would have been different
...I found out he was crazy, he started banging his head against the car window and steering wheel :look:
...I found out his ex-girl was stalking me and prank calling my phone
...I found a text message in his phone that read "I'm in Orlando, line me up some hos" :nono:
...I found out that he lied to me about someone he slept with. He made me feel like crap for asking him about it
...he asked me if I loved him after the 1st date (I don't even know if I LIKE you fool!)
...he hit on my sister, right in front of me

SMH.....I think I'll stay single. This is depressing!
 
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-hugged me after our date like he hadn't felt the touch of a woman since the nineties and i literally had to pry myself away. ick. :nono: got the veto. this actually happened w/2 different guys.

-called me after a first date telling me "u seem like a sensual person" and asking me all types of weird sexual questions. veto

-got upset i cancelled a date bc i had work to do when i was in grad school. like real oddly upset. this negro didn't even know me. was almost yelling at me about how he wanted to spend the entire weekend w/me. veto

-tried to sleep with me at his house, and when i heard someone walking around upstairs he is like oh thats my room mate. turns out he lived w/his mother (was never going to sleep w/his wack a$$ anyway). veto.

-brags to me about how all his ex girlfriends are models and all these chics like him and how i should be glad he chose to hang out with me. did i mention this is the same dude who lived with his mother? veto

-continues to call and text me after calling me a b-word saying that wasn't his real self and he really is a nice dude. can we say psycho? veto

-started to disappear every single weekend with "the bruhs" to go to undergrad college frat parties (he is 29). then proceeds to tell me i'm immature if i can't understand that he "has a life" :rolleyes: veto in progress

yeah, i'm taking a break from dating.
 
....til he had profiles of girls he used to like but never got with on his phone, simply because they were attractive. And had the nerve to tell me that he finds me beautiful and he doesn't need anyone but me. That it was a bad decision. That he only now understands his problem with lust. After finally telling the truth from the BS that they were "friends" back in the day, when he can't even recall their names or their yahoo names...
 
* told me he was a former underwear model and that they called him a large animal...and asked why I thought they did that?

* Asked what was my favortie feature about myself....I said something like my eyes...and he said no...something more physical. (first phone call)

* When he asked me out for lunch, was 15 minutes late and then ordered water because he had already eaten.... So when I told him that was stupid since lunch was HIS idea...he was stressing over the menu so I said I was paying for my own...he THEN ordered...quickly.

* Same guy as above THOUGHT he was going to reach his hand on my plate and eat one of my chicken strips.

* A guy tried to lick my cheek.

* A guy made me spaghetti after I insisted that I didn't eat spaghetti. Told me I should be grateful.

* He bought me 2 turtlenecks for Christmas after I told him what I wanted. Left the receipt in the bag...2 for 15. NO deals.

* Told me that he usually doesn't date women with kids but he would make an exception for me.

* We went to Denny's for ice cream...and he wanted me to run so he could skip out on the bill.

* He was a poor tipper so I put extra money on the table.... I busted him behind me picking up my money.

* We were dating for a couple of months and I spent the night at his house...He pitched a fit because I was on his pillow. He went and got me a toss pillow off his sofa to sleep on.

* Told me that there is a shortage of blk educated men and I need to prove to him that he needed to talk to me and not one of the other chicks out there.

* Pulled down his pants...and has s____ with someone....because I felt nothing.

* wanted me to meet his mother after knowing me all of 24 hours.

* wanted to go purchase furniture for "our" home after 72 hours of dating.

* Asked to borrow money.

* Went to get a check advance before going to the casino.


All of these are different men...well most of them. Will be back with more I am sure.
 
Caramel_Diva said:
* told me he was a former underwear model and that they called him a large animal...and asked why I thought they did that?

* Asked what was my favortie feature about myself....I said something like my eyes...and he said no...something more physical. (first phone call)

I'da been like my fist cuz it's got a mean hook.

* When he asked me out for lunch, was 15 minutes late and then ordered water because he had already eaten.... So when I told him that was stupid since lunch was HIS idea...he was stressing over the menu so I said I was paying for my own...he THEN ordered...quickly.

* Same guy as above THOUGHT he was going to reach his hand on my plate and eat one of my chicken strips.

* A guy tried to lick my cheek.

* A guy made me spaghetti after I insisted that I didn't eat spaghetti. Told me I should be grateful.

* He bought me 2 turtlenecks for Christmas after I told him what I wanted. Left the receipt in the bag...2 for 15. NO deals.

* Told me that he usually doesn't date women with kids but he would make an exception for me.

* We went to Denny's for ice cream...and he wanted me to run so he could skip out on the bill.

* He was a poor tipper so I put extra money on the table.... I busted him behind me picking up my money.

wtf.....

* We were dating for a couple of months and I spent the night at his house...He pitched a fit because I was on his pillow. He went and got me a toss pillow off his sofa to sleep on.

* Told me that there is a shortage of blk educated men and I need to prove to him that he needed to talk to me and not one of the other chicks out there.

* Pulled down his pants...and has s____ with someone....because I felt nothing.

* wanted me to meet his mother after knowing me all of 24 hours.

* wanted to go purchase furniture for "our" home after 72 hours of dating.

* Asked to borrow money.

* Went to get a check advance before going to the casino.


All of these are different men...well most of them. Will be back with more I am sure.
Click to expand...
Wow........................
 
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