Kurlee
Well-Known Member
Is it really that complicated to know what you like?
Cut Buddy
- Thread starter ChasingBliss
- Start date
fluffyforever
Well-Known Member
....
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momi
Well-Known Member
In my marriage that's been the most fulfilling part of the sexual journey. Finding out what I enjoy most with my husband.
Otherwise it would be kind of mechanical - just me giving out instructions. He loves to find out what I like judging by my reactions... Anyway let me quit. Lol
Kurlee
Well-Known Member
I kind of feel like that is part of the beauty of relationships and how they grow into their own unique thing; finding out all these things about each other over time. To each his/her own, I guess.
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CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
people are trying to describe things you can only understand by experiencing them to people who have no interest in understanding them... this thread is an exercise in mental masturbation 
No I'm talking about sex. Not sure what you mean as men go to these women to fulfill urges that don't get fulfilled at home (sex+attention, attraction, and seduction).
fluffyforever
Well-Known Member
I do too. I've been in my relationship for going on 14 years now. My FH was my only boyfriend ever. Around year 11 that just wasn't working for me. We had discussions and worked somethings out. Now that I had some more experiences, I'm much more satisfied in my relationship and I'm looking forward for another 60+ years together.
This is so sweet! 
my husband will more than likely be my only boyfriend as well. Which is why I'm so hesitant about making it official with this guy I've been dating for almost a year 
No comment on the rest of this. Id never have sex with someone I couldn't call in the case of an emergency 
my husband will more than likely be my only boyfriend as well. Which is why I'm so hesitant about making it official with this guy I've been dating for almost a year No comment on the rest of this. Id never have sex with someone I couldn't call in the case of an emergency 
Menina Preta
Well-Known Member
I think it's problematic to believe that women are the ones who hold the key to teaching men monogamy and loyalty. From the beginning of time, a man who wants sex and a lot of it will find ready and willing participants even if he has to pay for it.
Kurlee
Well-Known Member
so women hold no responsibility or power? they make up half of the equation?
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Its really a matter of perception.
What some women see as improsement or powerlessness others find empowering and a testament to the power of being a woman in the sheer influence and control she can exert over a man and the direction of her relationship.
MuziqizLyfe
Well-Known Member
people are trying to describe things you can only understand by experiencing them to people who have no interest in understanding them... this thread is an exercise in mental masturbation
If this ain't the truth, I don't know what is
and in typical LHCF fashion things are being discussed in absolutes. There are shades of grey in most aspects of life including sex *no pun intended *
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
Yeah, this is what's annoying about this thread. I'm tired of women being blamed for men not stepping up, men being rapists, men wanting to hire prostitutes, etc.
When a man wants to step up, it is my job to show him how to treat me, but I cannot make him have more integrity only because I withheld my vagina from him.
It's not like every single man out there will jump on the opportunity of free "cookies" until that one woman comes along and changes his mind. It's a gross assumption.
Femmefatal1981
Well-Known Member
But we always have...this is not new. When a straight man wants sex he has 2 options: find a woman willing to give it to him or take it from an unwilling woman. Let's focus on willing women: man wants sex, and he's looking for a willing woman. If the majority of the women in this guys social class require marriage then that's what he has to do. The more women willing to have sex outside of a formal arrangement the the less important the formal arrangement becomes.
That's where we are today. I've met way too many women who have never had a boyfriend, never been in love, but they have 5-10 sexual partners.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
^how come prostitution is conveniently left out of that explanation
Femmefatal1981
Well-Known Member
It wasn't. Those are willing participants in a formal arrangement.
All this free sex is messing it up for them too, lol.
Layluh
Well-Known Member
See I don't get this at all. I've never had a problem and I'm plain as hayle. It doesn't get any plainer than me. And my husband is fine as all get out. These women just don't know how to seal the deal, voice their demands, and increase their value.
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
I see the bolded A LOT. The one and only factor that is different is that some of them admit to being in love...it just wasnt returned. Because as the guy has said to them "you knew what it was"...
But of course these are the women that lie to men and themselves about what the really want or dont want. I understand there are women out here cutting it up and can handle everything that comes their way.
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
I think it also depends on how important sex is to you. It's not easy to tell how great sex can be when you've only done it with one or 2 people (esp if they suck). A friend of mine was telling me that despite losing her virginity to a great guy, in comparison to her current bf, he was really really bad.
To me that is a personal hell. But you would only know that through experience. Which is the way she found out.
Otoh, if you don't care about great sex (definition varies from person to person of course) then you'll be happy to just be "pleased" by your husband. The fortunate women won't know that their husband is terrible if he turns out to be bad in bed. ::shrug::
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
On another note...I love to talk to people about their lives and I have learned a lot just by listening and watching how folks live. I've had ex's (even my current dh) and male friends tell me that a lot of times the woman will mess herself up by saying she aint looking for nothing when she really is. Each man has told me that there were some women who F'd everything up when she slept with him first without discussing anything about relationships. That if she had only been REAL about what she wanted it COULD have been a relationship...Then after sleeping with them a few times she wants to talk about relationSHIP. But for the guy it's too late.
Ive known guys who laugh about how women think what they have between their legs is better than other women. But truthfully amongst men you are rated by your freak level not your value or your actual v. But they know by telling you that your top notch they'll have you jumping through hoops to maintain your status and brag to your girls about how you da best. It's all game. Game.
And yeah, this game is strictly for those who KNOW how to play and keep their skin thick and their emotions dead.
Ive known guys who laugh about how women think what they have between their legs is better than other women. But truthfully amongst men you are rated by your freak level not your value or your actual v. But they know by telling you that your top notch they'll have you jumping through hoops to maintain your status and brag to your girls about how you da best. It's all game. Game.
And yeah, this game is strictly for those who KNOW how to play and keep their skin thick and their emotions dead.
momi
Well-Known Member
Agreed. Like it or not we all have a part to play.
Cara alluded to communal responsibility waaayyy up thread. Maybe it was was in jest - however I believe it to be true.
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
I wonder if better access to porn has any affect on the suitable mate situation?
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
it wasnt jest. it was sarcasm. im not responsible for what any man does, and im damn sure no more responsible for how men treat other women than any woman is responsible for how men treat me. (except his mom
)
aribell
formerly nicola.kirwan
I think the "like it or not" part is the key. It is what it is. Action, reaction. You live in society and what you do impacts the people around you. And what others do impacts you. That's what it means to live in a community of people. This is partly why I believe that it has mostly been women not men ("the patriarchy") who have supported norms of restricted sexuality--because doing so supports the lifelong goals of most (like 80-90%) women (men don't care). Now, the interests of a minority of women have come to dominate social norms for all, which is nonsensical regardless of whether people have the personal right to do as they wish.
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judge free zone- no shade-i get the concept and i know how it goes but
like what happens if the cut buddy is not available? like do you just sit there and be mad or horny or do you have another cut buddy?
like the cut buddy fwb says nah I'm good..what then? lol
is the cut buddy just cutting with you or more than one person? does it matter to you?
fwb flirts with other girls are you cool? you see cut buddy in target shopping with a girl, everything cool or?
do you kiss the cut buddy?
I by no means an prudish at all, Im a fluck who you wanna fluck type..just with men they have it easy with punni anyway and i get that we as women have needs but for me i would need for this situation to be extremely extremely beneficial to me on my terms, to many variables for this to work for me when i was single.
i also know that men with big decks have standby's on deck at any given time so you like his big crayon, trust he has another 2 or 3 who likes that big crayon too
to many variables for me to be annoyed LOL
now a nerdy cut buddy I can see how this would work, in my world a man with a big deck knows it and he usually has women who are aware of it, he could be broke, dumb, homeless or etc but the pendulum is in his favor and he has punni available to him.
i feel like our lotus gardens are so valuable to give it away for horniness alone would kill me slowly....lmaoo because I'm not receiving anything but an O and thats not enough.
like what happens if the cut buddy is not available? like do you just sit there and be mad or horny or do you have another cut buddy?
like the cut buddy fwb says nah I'm good..what then? lol
is the cut buddy just cutting with you or more than one person? does it matter to you?
fwb flirts with other girls are you cool? you see cut buddy in target shopping with a girl, everything cool or?
do you kiss the cut buddy?
I by no means an prudish at all, Im a fluck who you wanna fluck type..just with men they have it easy with punni anyway and i get that we as women have needs but for me i would need for this situation to be extremely extremely beneficial to me on my terms, to many variables for this to work for me when i was single.
i also know that men with big decks have standby's on deck at any given time so you like his big crayon, trust he has another 2 or 3 who likes that big crayon too
to many variables for me to be annoyed LOL
now a nerdy cut buddy I can see how this would work, in my world a man with a big deck knows it and he usually has women who are aware of it, he could be broke, dumb, homeless or etc but the pendulum is in his favor and he has punni available to him.
i feel like our lotus gardens are so valuable to give it away for horniness alone would kill me slowly....lmaoo because I'm not receiving anything but an O and thats not enough.
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
Layluh What have you heard?
I've seen some studies. How some men can't get off with a real woman in the flesh. They expect women to all look like porn stars both body wise and vulva wise.
Kurlee
Well-Known Member
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
This thread is a reminder of the lingering impact of upbringing. I think we all grow up to develop opinions of our own as adults but it's kinda clear eventually the foundation almost always shines through. It's not particularly relevant to the thread just an observation of the thread.
