You are NOT a princess.

[Bachelorette]

Why has so many people's new understanding of self-esteem got them thinking it means you are better than everyone else around you? And unless we have changed the fundamental elitist definition of "princess" and "king", that is in essence what people are saying.

Exactly.

 

[aribell]

What I don't understand is the willingness of people to have zero-sum relationships in which if I treat you like a "prince" or a "king" that somehow devalues me. Why can't men treat their girlfriends and wives like princesses and the women treat the men like princes and kings? Can't we have mutual spoiling of one another?

 

[glamazon386]

What crawled up the author's behind? Angry much?

 

[ambergirl]

What I don't understand is the willingness of people to have zero-sum relationships in which if I treat you like a "prince" or a "king" that somehow devalues me. Why can't men treat their girlfriends and wives like princesses and the women treat the men like princes and kings? Can't we have mutual spoiling of one another?

That's what I'm saying....why can't we agree that in a relationship men and women should both should treat each other with the highest respect, regard, pampering, and spoiling.

 

[Bachelorette]

What I don't understand is the willingness of people to have zero-sum relationships in which if I treat you like a "prince" or a "king" that somehow devalues me. Why can't men treat their girlfriends and wives like princesses and the women treat the men like princes and kings? Can't we have mutual spoiling of one another?

call it that. spoiling or loving another

How does one go around calling princes and crap and not feel ridiculous and childish. Maybe it's just me cos we have ACTUAL prince and princesses/kings and queens

 

[brg240]

call it that. spoiling or loving another

How does one go around calling princes and crap and not feel ridiculous and childish. Maybe it's just me cos we have ACTUAL prince and princesses/kings and queens

because they like it? I think tons of things couples do are silly/childish w/e but if it works for them. I'm not in a relationship but I thought that sometimes being ridiculous came with the territory. You've never felt silly with an SO?

 

[ladysaraii]

What I don't understand is the willingness of people to have zero-sum relationships in which if I treat you like a "prince" or a "king" that somehow devalues me. Why can't men treat their girlfriends and wives like princesses and the women treat the men like princes and kings? Can't we have mutual spoiling of one another?

I have no problem with mutual spoiling. Personally, I think it's a good thing.

The problem comes when one party thinks it deserves better treatment than the other party or deserves a level of respect that he/she doesn't show in return. And that's what I think the OP addresses.

ALthough for fairness, it would be nice to see a thorough list compiled for the men.

 

[aribell]

I have no problem with mutual spoiling. Personally, I think it's a good thing.

The problem comes when one party thinks it deserves better treatment than the other party or deserves a level of respect that he/she doesn't show in return. And that's what I think the OP addresses.

ALthough for fairness, it would be nice to see a thorough list compiled for the men.

I agree with that.

Though, the tone of the article was very...negative. I know that if I were dating someone and they went out of their way to tell me all the things I didn't deserve, I'd end things very quickly. The article was written by a woman for women, and for the most part seems fair. But I would be really wary of any man going around with a list of things that he doesn't owe women. I can hold myself accountable to be fair and decent toward him, but I think it's still okay for me to look for someone who actually wants to be generous with me.

Some of her points can be summed up as "Don't be selfish, manipulative and conniving." But other's like "You are only entitled to what you earn or produce..." sound like a bitter and harsh attitude, especially if a man has this attitude toward his wife. I guess also, since I see very few women exhibiting the worst of characteristics mentioned, I have to wonder about the motive underlying the article.

 

[dancinstallion]

I have to go back and read this thread seems like it got heated, I was searching children's IRA and this popped up.

 

[NICOLETHENUMBERONE]

This is a bunch of bull manure.

 

[theRaven]

These early comments from an old thread sure are interesting

 

[ladysaraii]

These early comments from an old thread sure are interesting

It's interesting reading old threads and your own old comments and seeing how much you've changed.

 

[movingforward13]

Dammmmmmnbbbbb

 

[theRaven]

It's interesting reading old threads and your own old comments and seeing how much you've changed.

How do you feel about the article - You Are Not a Princess - now after many years later? Any points you agree with still or disregard now?

 

[Crystal22]

Haha, the atmosphere on the board is so different now. I didnt read the whole thread but from the first few responses....i could tell this was an old thread.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

I am highly suspicious of the intent of whoever wrote this because it sounds like some of the "women ain't ish" propaganda that I've seen on youtube.

There is such a tone of "don't go thinking too highly of yourself" about almost each of the points that it's hard for me to co-sign much of what is written.

This was exactly my sentiment lol. I was wondering why she was penis pandering so hard. I didn't even finish reading her list.

 

[biznesswmn]

Author sounds like some woman got a hold of her son and gave him a run for his money.

 

[ladysaraii]

How do you feel about the article - You Are Not a Princess - now after many years later? Any points you agree with still or disregard now?

So I still agree with most of the points, but I will say that I understand what people meant before about the tone of the article. It seems extremely harsh towards women.. Not to mention, I think our role in the relationship is to be cherished. That doesn't men that guys should be treated any kind of way, but we can treat them well and be cherished in turn.

Now that I have a better understanding of what I want in a relationship, I don't like it. But then again, I may not be her target audience.

 

[caribeandiva]

I am highly suspicious of the intent of whoever wrote this because it sounds like some of the "women ain't ish" propaganda that I've seen on youtube.

There is such a tone of "don't go thinking too highly of yourself" about almost each of the points that it's hard for me to co-sign much of what is written.

My feelings exactly

 

[thatscuteright]

I thought the article as harsh then and I still think its harsh now. The author seemed bitter and hateful.It reeked of so much misogyny.

 

[Ganjababy]

IRL quite a few peopl (men and women) have made me feel as if I act like I am a princess and I needed to be taken down a peg or two. This article reminds me of them.

 

[caribeandiva]

IRL quite a few peopl (men and women) have made me feel as if I act like I am a princess and I needed to be taken down a peg or two. This article reminds me of them.

Same here. I am a princess! Heck that's my dad's nickname for me. I notice a lot of people want to "put you in your place" when you think highly of yourself. Like it's their duty to remind you that you ain't all that. Like they're doing you a favor. I chuckle because I don't think I'm all that. THEY think I'm all that! Hence their reaction I avoid those people.