Crackers Crumbs: Tales Of A Successful Matchmaker. They's Married Now!

I didn't read the whole thread so I could be off but if I had a son, knowing that he and I would have to be dealing with a mama like that...I'd want him to uhm, "postpone" too. js!
 
luthiengirlie said:
how to snag a hottie lol @Crackers Phinn not just looks but in career ambition and kindness
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Honestly, this whole setup was a stroke of luck. I met Lil Dude through a Jewish friend and brought my niece to the next event I knew he would be at so I can't even say that I run in the kinds of circles where black men on his level can be found. My other nieces aren't really having much luck via the barber network I was calling myself getting them pre-screened men through. The ones who are dating exclusively met their bf's online but it's still too early to call where those relationships are going.

I don't know where to tell you to find a black dude of substance but I can tell you what to do when you get one.
 
Fine 4s said:
I didn't read the whole thread so I could be off but if I had a son, knowing that he and I would have to be dealing with a mama like that...I'd want him to uhm, "postpone" too. js!
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#metoo I ran my interference by the wise sage that I live with to see if I was doing too much and he was like "I married into your crazy family and survived, he will too." His response to the facebook post by my niece's mother was that it made her look crazy not Lil Dude so while it was an annoyance it wouldn't be a deal breaker for most men if they really like the woman in question.
 
Shiks said:
Tell us. Meeting successful black men isn't my problem. Closing the deal is.

ETA. I told you all would be well. I also think you should get friendly with dude's mother. Help her see the light.
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Oftentimes rejection really is protection. Many of these successful black men are not what they seem and wreak havoc on women’s lives: break their hearts, lie, cheat, abuse, etc., while still looking like Prince Charming.
 
hopeful said:
:yep:
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One of my nieces went out with a dude for 3 months and she talked to him about taking down their dating profiles and being exclusive and this n*** told her that he liked her alot but he would have to date for AT LEAST A YEAR before he would be sure that he could commit to one woman. Then they would need to spend "at least a few more years" to see if they were compatible enough to get married but if kids happened in the mean time that would be ok because he was ready to be a father. At the time she was 24 and he was 30. Now he had been telling her from jump that he was serious about settling down and wanted to start a family but he didn't put out his time frame or that marriage was optional. If I recall correctly, he was a middle manager at a company so not balling out of control or anything but seemed secure. His background check came back clean.

If you are a marriage minded woman there's no working with that. Just throw up the deuces and move on to the next one.

I tell all of my nieces to have the talk about exclusivity and where the dude sees the relationship going as soon as they feel like he is a keeper but no later than the 3 month mark.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
One of my nieces went out with a dude for 3 months and she talked to him about taking down their dating profiles and being exclusive and this n*** told her that he liked her alot but he would have to date for AT LEAST A YEAR before he would be sure that he could commit to one woman. Then they would need to spend "at least a few more years" to see if they were compatible enough to get married but if kids happened in the mean time that would be ok because he was ready to be a father. At the time she was 24 and he was 30. Now he had been telling her from jump that he was serious about settling down and wanted to start a family but he didn't put out his time frame or that marriage was optional. If I recall correctly, he was a middle manager at a company so not balling out of control or anything but seemed secure. His background check came back clean.

If you are a marriage minded woman there's no working with that. Just throw up the deuces and move on to the next one.

I tell all of my nieces to have the talk about exclusivity and where the dude sees the relationship going as soon as they feel like he is a keeper but no later than the 3 month mark.
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Most of their background checks come back clean. They got good credit and ain’t never been to jail. Being a cheater or a liar or a manipulator or a player doesn’t show up on background checks.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
One of my nieces went out with a dude for 3 months and she talked to him about taking down their dating profiles and being exclusive and this n*** told her that he liked her alot but he would have to date for AT LEAST A YEAR before he would be sure that he could commit to one woman. Then they would need to spend "at least a few more years" to see if they were compatible enough to get married but if kids happened in the mean time that would be ok because he was ready to be a father. At the time she was 24 and he was 30. Now he had been telling her from jump that he was serious about settling down and wanted to start a family but he didn't put out his time frame or that marriage was optional. If I recall correctly, he was a middle manager at a company so not balling out of control or anything but seemed secure. His background check came back clean.

If you are a marriage minded woman there's no working with that. Just throw up the deuces and move on to the next one.

I tell all of my nieces to have the talk about exclusivity and where the dude sees the relationship going as soon as they feel like he is a keeper but no later than the 3 month mark.
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I got stories for days of male friends and family members, they want to date a woman, hog her time and resources for 10 years before they feel like they can green light marriage. Mind boggling AF.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
One of my nieces went out with a dude for 3 months and she talked to him about taking down their dating profiles and being exclusive and this n*** told her that he liked her alot but he would have to date for AT LEAST A YEAR before he would be sure that he could commit to one woman. Then they would need to spend "at least a few more years" to see if they were compatible enough to get married but if kids happened in the mean time that would be ok because he was ready to be a father. At the time she was 24 and he was 30. Now he had been telling her from jump that he was serious about settling down and wanted to start a family but he didn't put out his time frame or that marriage was optional. If I recall correctly, he was a middle manager at a company so not balling out of control or anything but seemed secure. His background check came back clean.

If you are a marriage minded woman there's no working with that. Just throw up the deuces and move on to the next one.

I tell all of my nieces to have the talk about exclusivity and where the dude sees the relationship going as soon as they feel like he is a keeper but no later than the 3 month mark.
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Do you ever suggest to your nieces to date more than one man at a time? Keep their options open so they don't fall prey to this exact thing.
 
Jas123 said:
Do you ever suggest to your nieces to date more than one man at a time? Keep their options open so they don't fall prey to this exact thing.
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I tell them to date at their comfort level. Some are better at juggling multiple dudes than others. The niece in question had other dudes in the rotation but she had hit 3 months and it was time for the conversation.
 
Wow. Reading that made my brain hurt and I can only imagine what it did to your niece by listening to it. :lol:

I remember a male comedian on ComicView talking about men being broke or abusive or "just ain't spit." And how every woman in the audience knew what he meant by saying that cause ain't nothing "technically" wrong with him (money, looks, career, etc.) but his mentality all messed up.
 
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